Sept. 15, 2019

Cutting back on the booze with Maz Compton

Cutting back on the booze with Maz Compton
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Cutting back on the booze with Maz Compton
Cutting back on the booze with Maz Compton
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Season 4 Physical Health

She was one half of the successful radio duo Dan and Maz, but along the way Maz Compton found herself falling victim to the trap of drinking every night without even realising it. When she looked at the statistics she saw that women were now drinking more now than ever and many are drinking as much as their male counterparts. So once she knew she had a problem the next step was figuring out what to do about it, what followed was a long journey and a book at the end titled “The Social Rebellion”. Cass Dunn and Maz talk about regaining control over your drinking and finding the fun in sobriety. Four years later she’s still sober.https://mazcompton.net/
Connect with Cass:www.crappytohappypod.comhello@crappytohappypod.com 
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Transcript
WEBVTT

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A listener production.

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Hey guys, you're listening to Crappy to Happy. I'm cass Done.

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I'm a clinical and coaching psychologist, a mindfulness meditation teacher,

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and author of the Crappy to Happy books. In this series,

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we look at all of the factors that might be

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making you feel crappy and give you the tools and

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the techniques that will help you to overcome them. In

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each episode, I introduce you to interesting, inspiring, intelligent people

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who are experts in their field, and my hope is

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that they will help you feel less crappy and more happy.

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Today, I'm talking to Maz Compton.

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And Maz, as you may know, had a massively successful career,

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first as an MTV presenter and then co host of

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the successful radio show Dan and Maz. She was the

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consummate party girl until she began to realize that she

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was drinking much more than was probably good for her. So,

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like many people, she embarked on her dry January and

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quickly realized that this was a lifestyle change that she

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wanted to continue in four and a half years since

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that dry January, and I asked Maz to come in

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and share with us the ups and downs that she's

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experienced since choosing an alcohol free life in our very

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alcohol centric culture.

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Here's Maz.

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So. I quit drinking on the first of January twenty

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fifteen as a bit of an experiment, if that's probably

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the best word, because I didn't think it would go

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for any much longer than a month, and I haven't

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had a drink since, so it's working out pretty.

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Well for me, working really well for you.

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So you basically decided to do a dry January, as

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many people do often do after the Christmas New.

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Year totally, and for me it was more than just

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I'm just going to take a month off drinking. It

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was a bigger I felt my life was unraveling and

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I wanted to kind of get myself in check.

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And the only thing that I.

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Really knew to do was to stop doing the thing

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that I didn't want to do anymore. And we can

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unpack that later in the chat, but you know, just

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to give everybody a bit of an overview, I found

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myself in a position in life which on paper was

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extremely successful, ticking so many boxes, kicking so many goals,

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but internally not coping or processing that very well. And

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so I turned to alcohol to help me cope with stress,

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pressure and compounded trauma basically, and when you do something

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so much and you hate doing it, it sends you

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a bit mad. So I had to figure out a

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way to get my head around my relationship with alcohol.

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So I thought, let's just do a month without that

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thing in my life and see what happens in that month.

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Maybe I'll get some more clarity on how I can

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manage my relationship with alcohol better. Maybe maybe stopping drinking

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for four weeks and doing the scary thing socially of

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going to the barbecue and not having shots of fireball

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when that song comes on.

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Let's see how that all goes.

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So it was this idea of let's do a month

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and see what happens. And then within that month, around

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day twenty three, I kind of had this awakening and

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I felt like someone to turn the lights on in

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the room for maybe the first time in my adult life,

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and I was like, Wow, life really is better if

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you don't drink all the time. And I was able

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to start processing some emotional stuff and getting to know

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myself without.

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Drinking all the time.

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So it's been it's been a huge journey, and I

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didn't really set out to go I'm never drinking again.

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And I didn't set out to go I'm going to

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be the how to live life alcohol free girl.

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That was. It wasn't a branding exercise. It wasn't.

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It has been a real empowering part of my life

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story and I am finding that it's connecting, especially with women,

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And so that's why I'm so happy to be vulnerable

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and share my brokenness if it can help somebody realize

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that they can be a better version of themselves if

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they're not drinking all the time.

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Would you call it brokenness though? Do you think that's fair? Well,

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I mean, really, what you're talking about with the drinking

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and the pressure to keep up and then managing stress

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with alcohol, that's pretty standard.

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Yeah, it's normal.

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I say brokenness from and I can only talk about

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myself in this context. I can't and I wouldn't dare

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judge somebody else for where they are, why they drink

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so much so often, and how they come to a

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place where they may want to stop doing that.

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But for me personally, it was a place.

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It was a place of brokenness that I was living

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out of and that's how I was dealing with it.

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So instead of actually dealing with the thing, I coped.

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So I was coping by numbing myself by putting on

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this amazing facade all the time, which was just easier

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to keep up and do after a few wines.

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If I'm being totally honest.

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It is it's just easier to do that after you

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feel you know, you cup a few times. So to

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face all of that stuff, I really did have to

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look in the mirror, and what I saw was a

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really a really broken person who I had to learn

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to love again. And I had to I had to

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go and re meet mas Compton and figure out who

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she actually was, away from this public persona away from

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the success, away from all of that glitz and glamour

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and shininess. I had to come to a place of

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like that raw hard look in the mirror and figure

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out how to love that person and how to nurture

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that girl into this person that I have become now,

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who I'm very proud of.

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And when you say you know it started off as

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an experiment for thirty one days, you know at the

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time that we are having this conversation, we are right

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in the middle of dry July.

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The show will air a little bit later.

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But there's a lot of people around Australia giving up

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drinking for thirty one days now, and a lot of

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those people are just counting down to August.

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It really is a white knuckling kind.

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Of a process for people just until I can get

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that next drink. So I guess I'm just observing that

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it's interesting for you that it was not going to

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be I'm going to detox for a month. It's I'm

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going to really use this opportunity to re examine where

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I'm at with alcohol.

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And I love a challenge.

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I consistently have throughout my adult life always set myself

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goals and challenges and maybe that's a part of why

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I have become successful at what I've done.

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But this was the ultimate challenge.

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Like work in radio, I'd just been offered and accept

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the Sydney Breakfast Show, which when it comes to radio careers,

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you know, you do the National Drive Show, you do

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the Sydney Breakfast Show, You're done. And at that point

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thought that I would be doing the Sydney Breakfast Show

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for more than ten months. To be fair, I thought

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it was going to be a much longer job. But

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heading into that, I wanted to clear my head, but

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you can't.

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I didn't have a I didn't.

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Go overseas and go to an establishment and take myself

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out of my environment to do it.

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I did it head on. I did it at the height.

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Of my radio career, at the height of the pressure

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of that radio job. I went, Okay, here's the challenge.

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Let's go to all the client functions. Let's do when

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they open that bar on a Friday afternoon on that

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world famous rooftop.

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Let's not smash a couple of Yaega bombs.

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Let's actually let's maybe have a soda water and see

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how it goes. So it really truly was an experiment

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because I didn't shift much of my life. I kept

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living my life. I just eradicated the one thing that

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was unraveling at all. And I can only say that

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in hindsight. I think, you know, four and a half

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years later, I can look back and go, well, that's

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what I did. At the time, I was like, man,

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I just need to stop drinking so much. And I

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don't know how I know.

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In your book too, you refer a lot too, and

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it's obviously you were working in an industry that does

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have a lot of you know, glitzy events and rooftop

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parties and lots of alcohol. But there are a lot

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of women I see, and not just you know, in

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my profession, but in my personal life and my friends

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and everybody around me that I need to be working

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in that sort of industry to still feel that social

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pressure to drink or even just to just have to

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come home and have one like one o'clock. It's so standard.

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Yeah, And I talk about I talk about the industry

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in my book.

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Not to blame the industry.

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It was always my choice, but that's just my story

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where that was my reality, my reality.

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Now I have a four month old baby in two

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step Kears.

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It's like I'm a mum and so I have a

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lot of mum friends now, whereas you know, back then,

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I was socializing with people in radio circles and you know,

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clients and sales and TV and all the rest of it.

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Now, I like really hang out in my track.

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It acts in the park a lot, and you know,

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drinking mums is a real issue in this country really,

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and I'm immersed in this world now, which I think

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is really excellent. I feel that I now, as a mum,

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have permission to speak to other mothers, whereas before I

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didn't really have that permission because I could only come

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at it from a corporate standpoint because that was my journey.

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But I'm journeying through motherhood not drinking alcohol, and I

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know there's many mothers and no judgment at all, because

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I get how hard it is. There's many mothers journeying

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through motherhood drinking a lot, maybe a bit too much,

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too often, and they're the people who I want to

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speak to, because if I can do motherhood and not

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get drunk, anyone can do it.

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I think too.

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My observation and my experience even as a mother, is

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that for many women, it's the only They feel like

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it's the only escape. When you've got babies, when you're

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at home and there's all of that, there's no escape.

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You can't just go out for a yoga class or

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a massage or some take a nap. They feel like

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the only escape is in that glass of wine.

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The best way to assess, like.

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Do I have a drinking problem, because that's the question

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that everyone throws around like yes, So people will say

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things like well I said this, I was like, oh,

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I'm not an alcoholic and by definition when you look

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up the definition of alcoholic according to the AA Manifesto,

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which I have read, not because I went to AA

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just for research my book, To be honest, I read

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it after I stopped drinking, and I was like, man,

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I should have read this ages ago.

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It's really helpful. Really, yeah, it is.

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But I did not identify with that definition. I didn't

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feel powerless under a disease that I could not control.

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I did not feel that. And I knew I could

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just stop drinking for a month. I knew that I

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could do that. And the definition of alcoholic is not

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anything that resonated with me. And so I was in

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this really gray area of like, well what am I hat?

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Do I have a drinking problem or do I just

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drink a bit too much too often? And is that

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a problem? When does that become a problem? How do

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we draw a line in the sand. So the reason

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for the book is because I wrote it for anyone

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who's ever sat in that space which I sat in,

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and I.

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Was like, well, I don't think that that is what

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I am.

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But I'm definitely not sober, and I'm definitely not doing

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my life the best way that I can I'm definitely

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not showing up as the best version of myself every

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single day.

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So somewhere between that extreme and that extreme, there's.

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This huge gray area, and I think, and I would

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say ninety percent of adults sit in that gray area.

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And it's this sliding scale, and one week here further

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towards one end, and when we have a bad week,

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we go first towards the other end, or when we

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have a great week and we're celebrating, we go further

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towards that other end. So finding your why, which is

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I'm getting to the point of answering your question of

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how mums feel like they need to escape their terrible

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children all the time by drinking wine. Finding the why

246
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in so why am I drinking? Why do I feel

247
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like having a glass of wine is the only way

248
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I can cope with my life? When you can drill,

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start drilling down into that, and that's a big, long, hard,

250
00:12:35.240 --> 00:12:38.000
scary look in the mirror. When you can start asking

251
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yourself those questions and you will start uncovering answers. So

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for me, again, I can only really draw from my

253
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journey at the time, which didn't involve being a mum,

254
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but it involved being in the same space as a

255
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mum may find herself, which is I'm drinking too much

256
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too often.

257
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I don't know how to do it, Like quitting drinking.

258
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Is social suicide, like the will die, and literally was like,

259
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if I stop drinking, I will die.

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Well, I can tell you now, I'm not dead.

261
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As far as I know, nobody has died from stopping drinking,

262
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but a lot of people have died from continuing. So

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there's a nice little wake up call for anyone there

264
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who thinks that stopping drinking is the worst thing that

265
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you ever do in your life. You just have to

266
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redefine a whole bunch of stuff when you figure that out.

267
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So figuring out for me, it was, so why do

268
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I drink all the time? Why do I go to

269
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these events? And I say to myself in the car,

270
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I'm not going to drink tonight. And then I get

271
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a taxi home and I have to leave my car

272
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on the car park and then pay the overnight fee

273
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and then go and get a taxi back. And believe

274
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it or not, Cass, I'm an introvert and at which

275
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means I actually energize from spending time away from people.

276
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And then I bring all of that energy to the

277
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environment that I get put in. So being a performer

278
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by nature who's an introvert is a really confusing space to.

279
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Sit in a lot when you don't realize that about yourself.

280
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So I would drink so that I wouldn't feel social

281
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anxiety in a room. That was one reason why I

282
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drank was to cope with the environments that I found

283
00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:17.799
myself uncomfortable in boredom. I moved four times in four years,

284
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into different cities and different jobs. So each time you're

285
00:14:20.200 --> 00:14:23.840
that new kid in class, it's a brand new environment.

286
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It's new roads, it's a new way to work, it's

287
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a new job, it's a new everything. And so when

288
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everything changes, you gravitate towards the consistent thing that won't

289
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let you down. And for me, that was a glass

290
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of red at night. I ended up just sitting at

291
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home and drinking glasses of wine a lot because I

292
00:14:42.240 --> 00:14:45.360
was bored. And I think for mums that can be

293
00:14:45.399 --> 00:14:49.159
a factor is I have been singing wine to the

294
00:14:49.200 --> 00:14:52.799
bobbin up all day to my one year old child,

295
00:14:53.200 --> 00:14:56.120
Wine the bobbin up, and you go mental, like you legit.

296
00:14:56.200 --> 00:14:57.320
Get to the end of the day and you're like

297
00:14:57.440 --> 00:15:01.960
I feel like an insane person. I understand how that

298
00:15:02.080 --> 00:15:05.120
go to that grab four, that one consistent thing that

299
00:15:05.159 --> 00:15:08.440
won't let you down feels natural, But it's a lie

300
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and it will let you down eventually. But figuring out

301
00:15:12.639 --> 00:15:14.720
why does that feel like your escape and how can

302
00:15:14.759 --> 00:15:17.200
we escape to a better place is probably a good

303
00:15:17.279 --> 00:15:20.240
place to start if you're in a position where you

304
00:15:20.240 --> 00:15:22.600
want to redefine your relationship with alcohol. That's how I

305
00:15:22.639 --> 00:15:25.679
did it. It's not the only way. That's just my story.

306
00:15:25.919 --> 00:15:28.320
I'm really interested in the fact that you gave up

307
00:15:28.360 --> 00:15:32.000
for thirty one days and then you just stayed stopped.

308
00:15:32.039 --> 00:15:35.440
Because many people take breaks from alcohol, myself included, which

309
00:15:35.480 --> 00:15:35.879
is good.

310
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Can I just also say, like, if you just have

311
00:15:38.799 --> 00:15:41.440
a month off now and then that's fine, Like, that's

312
00:15:41.480 --> 00:15:43.200
actually a really great thing. It's good for your liver,

313
00:15:43.320 --> 00:15:45.200
it's good for your brain cells, it's good for your

314
00:15:45.240 --> 00:15:48.440
decision making. It's a good thing to take some time

315
00:15:48.519 --> 00:15:52.720
away occasionally. But if you feel like your relationship with

316
00:15:52.759 --> 00:15:56.200
alcohol is unhealthy, then you need to do maybe more

317
00:15:56.279 --> 00:16:00.320
than just have a month off. When things get a

318
00:16:00.360 --> 00:16:02.759
little cray, So oh, I'm going to tone it down

319
00:16:02.799 --> 00:16:05.240
by having a month off because if you get entrapped

320
00:16:05.279 --> 00:16:06.159
in that cycle.

321
00:16:05.879 --> 00:16:07.799
You come back with a vengeance and you have a very,

322
00:16:07.879 --> 00:16:08.840
very wet August.

323
00:16:09.480 --> 00:16:13.480
That's true, that's true, true for a lot of people.

324
00:16:14.480 --> 00:16:17.960
But even people who do recognize that they have a

325
00:16:18.039 --> 00:16:20.799
problem and they say that's it, I'm done, I'm going

326
00:16:20.840 --> 00:16:24.840
to stop, they find it hard to stay stopped. Yes, right,

327
00:16:25.440 --> 00:16:29.960
So look, I don't know what the solution is for

328
00:16:30.360 --> 00:16:33.000
people who go through that, because that wasn't my story.

329
00:16:33.120 --> 00:16:36.080
So I will have to say that stopping.

330
00:16:35.799 --> 00:16:38.200
Drinking was one of the easiest things that I've done,

331
00:16:38.440 --> 00:16:41.080
and I will simplify it because you'll probably go, hang

332
00:16:41.080 --> 00:16:43.720
on a second, somebody who really is someone who has

333
00:16:43.720 --> 00:16:46.559
alcohol dependency disorder, which I think I probably did have,

334
00:16:46.639 --> 00:16:51.080
if I'm being honest, to just straight up stop drinking

335
00:16:51.080 --> 00:16:53.720
one day and then never have a drink since is

336
00:16:53.720 --> 00:16:57.440
a pretty unheard of story. But the way in the

337
00:16:57.440 --> 00:17:01.320
beginning days that I did that is I woke up

338
00:17:01.399 --> 00:17:05.400
every day and I realized that it was my decision.

339
00:17:06.119 --> 00:17:09.359
So you know, Bob in accounts how he got you

340
00:17:09.440 --> 00:17:12.839
really wasted last weekend, he actually didn't.

341
00:17:13.000 --> 00:17:14.480
You got yourself wasted.

342
00:17:14.599 --> 00:17:16.759
You just didn't have the balls to tell Bob to

343
00:17:16.799 --> 00:17:19.480
piss off because he kept buying your drinks. That's the

344
00:17:19.519 --> 00:17:22.920
reality of the world that we live in. So when

345
00:17:23.000 --> 00:17:26.480
you can stop caring what other people think so much

346
00:17:27.640 --> 00:17:32.359
and you can actually each day go it is my choice.

347
00:17:32.599 --> 00:17:34.880
If I'm going to drink alcohol today, it's one hundred

348
00:17:34.880 --> 00:17:37.640
percent up to me. And so every single day from

349
00:17:37.680 --> 00:17:41.240
the first of January twenty fifteen, I've gone, it's my

350
00:17:41.400 --> 00:17:43.480
choice to drink alcohol today, and I'm not going to

351
00:17:43.559 --> 00:17:48.440
drink alcohol. And at the time, the worst possible thing

352
00:17:48.839 --> 00:17:53.359
that could have ever happened to me, except for losing

353
00:17:53.720 --> 00:17:57.039
a family member, would be to lose my job. And

354
00:17:57.119 --> 00:17:59.960
that happened ten months later, and I still didn't have

355
00:18:00.160 --> 00:18:02.799
a drink. And I woke up that morning on the

356
00:18:02.839 --> 00:18:06.720
sixth of October twenty fifteen, and I was like, Oh,

357
00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:08.200
it's my decision not having drink day, And yeah, of

358
00:18:08.200 --> 00:18:10.000
course I'm gonna have drink because've done ten months and

359
00:18:10.039 --> 00:18:13.079
I'm enjoying the person that I've become and this woman

360
00:18:13.119 --> 00:18:15.359
who I am, and I feel empowered and I'm helping

361
00:18:15.400 --> 00:18:18.000
people by sharing my story and this is awesome. And

362
00:18:18.039 --> 00:18:21.119
then I got fired that day, and I still didn't

363
00:18:21.160 --> 00:18:25.160
drink so when you realize that it's actually one hundred

364
00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:27.960
percent your own fault and not to make anyone feel

365
00:18:27.960 --> 00:18:31.559
bad or ashamed, but it's your fault that you're here.

366
00:18:31.680 --> 00:18:33.799
But that means that it's one hundred percent up to

367
00:18:33.839 --> 00:18:35.519
you to get yourself out of it, which means it's

368
00:18:35.559 --> 00:18:38.400
one hundred percent possible because you're not relying on anyone else. Yeah,

369
00:18:39.559 --> 00:18:42.960
this journey for me is all about self empowerment. It's

370
00:18:43.000 --> 00:18:47.000
about taking responsibility for your actions, realizing that you are

371
00:18:47.039 --> 00:18:49.960
where you are because of a whole bunch of decisions, good, bad,

372
00:18:50.039 --> 00:18:53.119
or indifferent. But you can change that course of action

373
00:18:53.519 --> 00:18:56.680
really simply by just making one choice every day.

374
00:18:56.720 --> 00:18:58.079
And that's how I did it, and that's.

375
00:18:57.880 --> 00:19:00.440
Why it was easy because I never I had to

376
00:19:00.559 --> 00:19:03.759
argue with anyone who was in my face about not drinking,

377
00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:06.839
because I was like, I'm sorry, Sonya that you're upset

378
00:19:06.880 --> 00:19:09.039
that I'm not going to have shots with you, but

379
00:19:09.160 --> 00:19:11.799
I've decided that I'm not drinking today, and you screaming

380
00:19:11.839 --> 00:19:14.680
at me is not going to change my choice because

381
00:19:14.720 --> 00:19:16.880
I'm making an empowered choice for my life.

382
00:19:16.960 --> 00:19:19.279
I would like to come back to the social pressure

383
00:19:19.559 --> 00:19:21.400
issue because I think that is a really big issue

384
00:19:21.400 --> 00:19:23.440
that gets in a lot of people's way. But going

385
00:19:23.480 --> 00:19:27.200
back to that, you know, you lost your job after

386
00:19:27.240 --> 00:19:29.519
ten months, and by then you had had ten months

387
00:19:29.559 --> 00:19:34.319
of learning to live without alcohol and building that knowing,

388
00:19:34.440 --> 00:19:37.440
knowing within you that life is better without alcohol. And

389
00:19:37.480 --> 00:19:40.680
I think going back to that starting stopping thing, what

390
00:19:40.880 --> 00:19:44.720
I have found because I have been We actually sat

391
00:19:44.759 --> 00:19:48.400
in this studio last year, I think November. Christina Carlson

392
00:19:48.440 --> 00:19:49.519
was a guest, and she said, I just took a

393
00:19:49.559 --> 00:19:51.240
year off drinking, and I think it was actually more

394
00:19:51.279 --> 00:19:53.319
like fifteen months at the time. And I said, oh, yeah,

395
00:19:53.319 --> 00:19:55.720
I'm doing that because at the time I had this

396
00:19:55.839 --> 00:19:58.480
idea that I'd sort of was taking a month off,

397
00:19:58.559 --> 00:20:01.279
you know till Christmas or whatever and just having a break,

398
00:20:01.440 --> 00:20:03.000
but in the back of my mind thinking it would

399
00:20:03.039 --> 00:20:06.519
be really cool to go for longer, like to do

400
00:20:06.559 --> 00:20:09.640
a year anyway, so she said, oh, yeah, that's great.

401
00:20:09.680 --> 00:20:13.119
So anyway, I got as far as I think four months.

402
00:20:13.200 --> 00:20:14.039
Yeah, and.

403
00:20:15.400 --> 00:20:17.559
Like ticked off the boxes, ticked off dur I January,

404
00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:20.519
got to ninety days, got two hundred days tracking to

405
00:20:20.559 --> 00:20:24.160
you know, and feeling really really good, and then was

406
00:20:24.240 --> 00:20:26.559
just in a social situation with some friends. Hadn't seen

407
00:20:26.599 --> 00:20:28.880
them for ages, and they handed me a drink and

408
00:20:29.359 --> 00:20:31.640
it was just oh, oh okay, I said, oh, I

409
00:20:31.680 --> 00:20:34.519
haven't really been drinking, and oh well you don't have

410
00:20:34.559 --> 00:20:36.359
to drink it, but you know, sitting there drink in

411
00:20:36.440 --> 00:20:39.519
front of me, it just I just honestly, it was

412
00:20:39.559 --> 00:20:42.720
almost accidental, Like I didn't wake up that day thinking

413
00:20:43.240 --> 00:20:45.000
today's the day I'm going to drink again after four

414
00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:45.960
months of not drinking.

415
00:20:46.160 --> 00:20:48.160
No, But before you know it, you're just back into

416
00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:52.119
that Oh well, that's really really common normal.

417
00:20:52.319 --> 00:20:54.480
But since then I've gone and had other I've gone

418
00:20:54.480 --> 00:20:57.000
back off, you know, another six weeks, another six weeks, whatever,

419
00:20:57.279 --> 00:21:00.240
And over time you do start to realize within you,

420
00:21:00.279 --> 00:21:03.400
even with the off on thing, you know what, I

421
00:21:03.400 --> 00:21:05.519
actually do, life heaps better.

422
00:21:05.400 --> 00:21:06.680
When I'm not drinking.

423
00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:09.599
Yeah, I'm still as stressed and as busy, but I

424
00:21:09.640 --> 00:21:14.359
cope better, I sleep better, I nothing, things don't phase

425
00:21:14.519 --> 00:21:16.519
me as much. And I think you just have to

426
00:21:16.519 --> 00:21:19.079
build up that in like as you obviously have done.

427
00:21:19.160 --> 00:21:21.839
Like you build up that inner knowing within you, and

428
00:21:21.880 --> 00:21:24.640
then other people can't get in your way because you

429
00:21:24.759 --> 00:21:28.119
know within yourself it's just better, I guess It's just.

430
00:21:28.039 --> 00:21:30.680
Like a muscle, yeah, you know, and the more you

431
00:21:31.599 --> 00:21:34.599
train it, the stronger it gets and the more resilient

432
00:21:34.680 --> 00:21:39.400
it is. And I think it's really normal for people

433
00:21:39.519 --> 00:21:46.000
to want to and I'm not downplaying your journey at all,

434
00:21:46.599 --> 00:21:49.400
but it's this novelty factor of like, I'm going to

435
00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:52.680
go six months without drinking, and that's great. Like I'm

436
00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:56.119
not dissing anyone that makes that choice. That's an awesome choice,

437
00:21:56.119 --> 00:21:59.759
but you have to ask yourself, why are you doing that?

438
00:21:59.880 --> 00:22:01.559
Is so you can put it on social media and

439
00:22:01.599 --> 00:22:04.880
brag and then go back to and then.

440
00:22:04.839 --> 00:22:07.680
Just go back to drinking, or because I got to

441
00:22:07.720 --> 00:22:10.680
a point in my life where it was actually about

442
00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:16.960
me wanting to be a better person for me, and

443
00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:19.440
then everyone else gets to benefit from that too. But

444
00:22:19.599 --> 00:22:23.759
it was about It wasn't about everyone else's approval or

445
00:22:23.799 --> 00:22:26.599
being able to say I did this thing, How awesome

446
00:22:26.680 --> 00:22:27.000
am I?

447
00:22:27.240 --> 00:22:28.599
Please give me validation.

448
00:22:29.400 --> 00:22:32.440
It wasn't about pre planning an Instagram post that I'm

449
00:22:32.440 --> 00:22:34.200
going to do six months down the track when I've

450
00:22:34.200 --> 00:22:36.200
not had alcohol for six months and everyone can tell

451
00:22:36.200 --> 00:22:40.119
me how cool I am. It was a very private

452
00:22:40.240 --> 00:22:43.960
and personal choice, and so I think the reason why

453
00:22:44.039 --> 00:22:46.359
people will say I'm going to do six months and

454
00:22:46.400 --> 00:22:49.119
they only go four is because they don't have that

455
00:22:49.279 --> 00:22:54.920
driver of well, we're making mass empowerment and big change here.

456
00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:58.160
We're just we're ticking a box, which is fine.

457
00:22:58.599 --> 00:23:00.680
I'm like I said, if you're going to have some

458
00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:04.119
time away from alcohol, I encourage it. I highly highly

459
00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:06.160
highly encourage it. But if you want to go one

460
00:23:06.200 --> 00:23:08.720
step beyond that, you've got to go You've got to

461
00:23:08.720 --> 00:23:11.480
go deeper, like you've got to get some therapy, really,

462
00:23:11.880 --> 00:23:15.200
and you can do that with yourself by asking yourself

463
00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:17.200
the tough questions of like, okay, so why are we

464
00:23:17.279 --> 00:23:17.880
doing this again?

465
00:23:18.039 --> 00:23:18.680
What's the point?

466
00:23:18.839 --> 00:23:22.640
Because if you've got a rock solid reason, you probably

467
00:23:22.680 --> 00:23:26.359
will go further along, you know, and you may get

468
00:23:26.359 --> 00:23:29.440
to that twelve months, and then I feel after twelve months,

469
00:23:29.880 --> 00:23:33.160
when you do have a drink, you're fine about it

470
00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:37.119
because you've got a better relationship with alcohol, you know,

471
00:23:37.359 --> 00:23:40.880
like you actually know what your limit is, and you

472
00:23:40.880 --> 00:23:43.200
you're like, well, I did this, I did without this

473
00:23:43.279 --> 00:23:45.599
or twelve months, so I maybe just want to have

474
00:23:45.680 --> 00:23:47.519
like one drink when I go out, if I go

475
00:23:47.640 --> 00:23:49.519
out with this group of friends.

476
00:23:49.279 --> 00:23:53.200
And then not you know, eighty twenty whatever. You know.

477
00:23:53.279 --> 00:23:55.079
I have a friend of a work who did that.

478
00:23:55.240 --> 00:23:59.640
She had a pretty rough time with alcohol.

479
00:24:01.599 --> 00:24:03.480
That means she had a pretty good time with alcohol.

480
00:24:03.720 --> 00:24:07.079
She actually ended up in a really bad place. Yeah. Yeah,

481
00:24:07.079 --> 00:24:09.119
it was really good until it got really bad exactly,

482
00:24:09.200 --> 00:24:12.119
and it switches really quickly. It's called the death sip.

483
00:24:12.319 --> 00:24:14.359
And then she took a she took her I think

484
00:24:14.400 --> 00:24:16.359
it was a year, and then she Now what she

485
00:24:16.480 --> 00:24:20.559
does is if there's a special occasion, she has one drink. Yeah,

486
00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:24.799
And to be honest, I that confuses me. I think, well,

487
00:24:24.880 --> 00:24:28.759
but I don't know, no judgment for anybody. Think good

488
00:24:28.759 --> 00:24:31.359
on her. And to be able to go back to

489
00:24:31.359 --> 00:24:33.240
have one drink. Many people couldn't do that. They would

490
00:24:33.240 --> 00:24:36.880
be straight back into the she's got. I would say

491
00:24:36.880 --> 00:24:40.920
that's probably just will power, because one.

492
00:24:40.799 --> 00:24:44.119
Is better than a hundred. Of course, because I know

493
00:24:44.160 --> 00:24:47.480
you're saying cash, You're like, well, why bother having the one?

494
00:24:47.640 --> 00:24:48.319
Just have zero?

495
00:24:48.519 --> 00:24:50.440
Yes, But if she wants to have one, one's better

496
00:24:50.480 --> 00:24:52.559
than ten, and it probably used to be ten, yes,

497
00:24:52.680 --> 00:24:55.720
So that's like a really huge improvement. And if she

498
00:24:55.799 --> 00:24:59.559
can manage the one and she can have a good

499
00:24:59.559 --> 00:25:03.920
relationshitionship with that one. She probably really enjoys it, and

500
00:25:03.960 --> 00:25:06.839
there's freedom in that choice. That's the other thing that

501
00:25:06.880 --> 00:25:10.519
I'm really passionate about talking about is I am the

502
00:25:10.640 --> 00:25:13.480
freest I've ever been in my life. And I feel

503
00:25:13.559 --> 00:25:17.160
if you have an attachment to a substance, you are

504
00:25:17.200 --> 00:25:20.519
living an enslaved life and you're trapped in a thing.

505
00:25:20.640 --> 00:25:25.400
So again, this is all about becoming free from Oh

506
00:25:25.440 --> 00:25:26.680
my god, I don't want to go to so and

507
00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:29.279
So's wedding because I just don't want to drink this weekend.

508
00:25:29.759 --> 00:25:32.240
That's not a free life. That's not free choice.

509
00:25:32.279 --> 00:25:35.720
That's being trapped by a thing that has got a

510
00:25:35.839 --> 00:25:39.000
hold on you. That's affecting your decisions on how you're

511
00:25:39.000 --> 00:25:42.799
going to show up for your friends. So, and that's

512
00:25:42.839 --> 00:25:46.880
why with my book The Social Rebellion, it's about true

513
00:25:46.920 --> 00:25:50.880
freedom begins with a cheeky month of alcohol, because that

514
00:25:51.039 --> 00:25:53.680
is again where I believe we should all be living

515
00:25:53.680 --> 00:25:56.359
from is an empowered and a free life. And you

516
00:25:56.440 --> 00:26:00.359
can't do that if you're constantly worried about what am

517
00:26:00.400 --> 00:26:02.279
I going to do if I have this next drink?

518
00:26:02.279 --> 00:26:04.200
Because if I have one, I have ten, and if

519
00:26:04.240 --> 00:26:06.119
I have ten, you know, all of a sudden, six

520
00:26:06.119 --> 00:26:07.880
months has gone by and here we you know, and

521
00:26:07.920 --> 00:26:10.079
we're having this conversation again and nothing's changed.

522
00:26:10.119 --> 00:26:12.759
Yeah, exactly, Can we talk about the social pressure? Did

523
00:26:12.759 --> 00:26:14.640
you experience that in the early days when.

524
00:26:14.559 --> 00:26:15.799
You're massively right?

525
00:26:15.839 --> 00:26:16.039
Oh?

526
00:26:16.119 --> 00:26:16.640
Massively?

527
00:26:16.880 --> 00:26:20.839
That was honestly, Cas, Maybe my number one fear going

528
00:26:20.880 --> 00:26:26.440
into the experiment was how am I going to show

529
00:26:26.519 --> 00:26:30.279
up to work events, to we can barbecues, to my

530
00:26:30.359 --> 00:26:33.279
friend's housewarming party and not drink?

531
00:26:33.799 --> 00:26:35.119
How how?

532
00:26:35.960 --> 00:26:39.519
Because what's not the best thing to do is to

533
00:26:39.559 --> 00:26:42.839
lock yourself in your house with a hot water bottle

534
00:26:42.920 --> 00:26:46.880
and some comfy pajamas for four weeks, because that is

535
00:26:46.920 --> 00:26:50.880
not going to help you actually manage your relationship with alcohol.

536
00:26:50.880 --> 00:26:52.000
You've got to practice it.

537
00:26:52.240 --> 00:26:55.519
So I put myself in every situation that I normally

538
00:26:55.559 --> 00:26:58.960
would go and have a billion drinks at and just

539
00:26:59.279 --> 00:27:03.599
didn't drink. But I legit had a grown human adult

540
00:27:03.640 --> 00:27:07.359
man yell in my face when I didn't want to

541
00:27:07.359 --> 00:27:10.920
do a shot at a party, really yell like was

542
00:27:11.240 --> 00:27:15.640
so angry, like so insanely angry at me because I

543
00:27:15.680 --> 00:27:20.200
wouldn't do shots. And I just said to him very calmly,

544
00:27:21.240 --> 00:27:25.119
even though on the inside. I was not calm. I

545
00:27:25.279 --> 00:27:29.400
was like, mate, I haven't had a drink at this point,

546
00:27:29.440 --> 00:27:31.200
it was two months. It's like, I haven't had a

547
00:27:31.279 --> 00:27:34.079
drink for two months. Let me break this down for you.

548
00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:37.079
If I was going to have a drink right now,

549
00:27:37.200 --> 00:27:39.680
it's not going to be with you, and it's not

550
00:27:39.720 --> 00:27:42.599
going to be a shot. So please go away and

551
00:27:42.640 --> 00:27:47.880
stop yelling at me for not partaking in this celebratory

552
00:27:47.960 --> 00:27:51.200
ritual that we are all doing right now. I'm still here,

553
00:27:51.400 --> 00:27:54.920
I'm still at the party. I'm actually having a great time. Yeah,

554
00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:56.519
you don't seem to be having a good time though,

555
00:27:56.519 --> 00:28:01.000
because you're angry at me for my personal choice to

556
00:28:01.160 --> 00:28:02.240
not have a drink.

557
00:28:02.680 --> 00:28:07.480
Now, that's insane, but that's so common, it's so common common.

558
00:28:07.839 --> 00:28:11.559
So I over the I think over the time over

559
00:28:11.599 --> 00:28:14.680
that first six months. Initially, definitely, because by six months

560
00:28:14.680 --> 00:28:17.079
everyone was like, let's invite mas, Oh, let's not bother,

561
00:28:17.119 --> 00:28:20.039
she's not drinking, or like, let's in my invite Maz

562
00:28:20.079 --> 00:28:22.279
and no, she's not going to drink, so we don't

563
00:28:22.279 --> 00:28:23.720
need to give her a hard time anymore.

564
00:28:23.759 --> 00:28:25.279
But the first six months was.

565
00:28:25.359 --> 00:28:29.200
Rough, and I had people, I had somebody who I really,

566
00:28:29.240 --> 00:28:33.119
really respect, say to me, we'll give us a call

567
00:28:33.160 --> 00:28:35.400
when you're back on the wagon, Like, don't bother hanging

568
00:28:35.400 --> 00:28:36.680
out with me until then, or.

569
00:28:37.599 --> 00:28:39.000
Well, how long is that gonna last?

570
00:28:39.000 --> 00:28:41.279
Hey, how long are you gonna do How long you're

571
00:28:41.279 --> 00:28:42.480
gonna do that for Compton?

572
00:28:42.960 --> 00:28:43.160
You know?

573
00:28:43.400 --> 00:28:46.799
And I just so the social pressure is real and

574
00:28:46.839 --> 00:28:48.440
I'm not gonna sit here and go.

575
00:28:48.440 --> 00:28:52.480
Oh, it's fine, you'll you'll coat. It's hard, and I've

576
00:28:52.799 --> 00:28:54.200
I've let friendships go.

577
00:28:55.640 --> 00:28:58.480
Some of them naturally fizzled out because all we used

578
00:28:58.480 --> 00:29:00.359
to do is get together and drink, and I I'd

579
00:29:00.359 --> 00:29:05.480
eventually stopped doing that. So over time, I rejigged my

580
00:29:05.680 --> 00:29:10.279
social engagement and I started saying to my girlfriends, especially

581
00:29:10.359 --> 00:29:13.920
my really close friends, who all still drink wine and whatever,

582
00:29:14.400 --> 00:29:17.119
and you know, they have healthy relationships with alcohol and

583
00:29:17.200 --> 00:29:21.519
all good. We started doing brunch, I started going to

584
00:29:21.599 --> 00:29:24.319
the gym a lot. I started going for walks with friends,

585
00:29:24.319 --> 00:29:28.920
and I started finding things where alcohol wasn't the key ingredients.

586
00:29:29.039 --> 00:29:32.759
So I sort of, I guess, transitioned my social life

587
00:29:32.759 --> 00:29:36.240
into something completely different. And it's different again now as

588
00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:39.680
a mum definitely, But at that point, you know, like

589
00:29:39.880 --> 00:29:43.119
not having kids, what else do you do except for

590
00:29:43.160 --> 00:29:44.839
go to the bar and hang out with everyone. So

591
00:29:44.920 --> 00:29:47.440
I just had to rejig that. So some friendships naturally

592
00:29:47.480 --> 00:29:50.680
fizzled out. Some friendships I decided, I'm just going to

593
00:29:50.720 --> 00:29:52.720
stop contacting I'm not going to catch up with this

594
00:29:52.720 --> 00:29:56.440
person anymore, like we're done. You've actually hurt me, and

595
00:29:56.519 --> 00:30:01.079
I don't want to have a person like that speaking

596
00:30:01.079 --> 00:30:04.000
into my life when I'm making all these good choices.

597
00:30:04.720 --> 00:30:06.440
So it is, it's.

598
00:30:06.480 --> 00:30:13.079
Really hard, and it's sad as well, because there's some

599
00:30:13.079 --> 00:30:16.279
people I really like and I'm like, oh, we had

600
00:30:16.279 --> 00:30:20.240
great times together, but unless we're both wasted, like we

601
00:30:20.359 --> 00:30:23.279
have nothing in common. So we've been spending all this

602
00:30:23.400 --> 00:30:26.759
time together, but we don't even know each other's middle names.

603
00:30:26.799 --> 00:30:30.839
Like that's not real connection. And we are hardwired for

604
00:30:30.920 --> 00:30:34.519
real face to face connection, so I make sure now.

605
00:30:34.599 --> 00:30:38.319
And also, being an introvert, I don't want lots of

606
00:30:38.400 --> 00:30:40.799
social so social stuff, so.

607
00:30:40.759 --> 00:30:42.799
I don't do mother's groups, but I do.

608
00:30:42.880 --> 00:30:45.359
I have like a couple of really close mum friends

609
00:30:45.359 --> 00:30:47.319
and we just do one on one time. And so

610
00:30:47.480 --> 00:30:52.799
I found my quality of relationship escalated massively because I

611
00:30:52.960 --> 00:30:57.960
was actually investing in really wholesome one on one quality

612
00:30:58.000 --> 00:31:01.279
time which fills me up, you know, and that and

613
00:31:01.359 --> 00:31:04.400
those relationships are the ones that I'll have for the

614
00:31:04.440 --> 00:31:06.599
rest of my days, and they're the ones that I'm

615
00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:10.599
really happy to have, and the other ones, it's sad

616
00:31:10.640 --> 00:31:11.599
and you have to grieve it.

617
00:31:11.680 --> 00:31:14.359
And you know, I now keep this friendship garden tight

618
00:31:14.440 --> 00:31:14.920
and bright.

619
00:31:15.319 --> 00:31:19.119
But I hope that somehow me making my choices has

620
00:31:19.160 --> 00:31:22.119
planted a seed in those people and that one day

621
00:31:22.200 --> 00:31:26.880
they you know, get their relationship with alcohol more manageable

622
00:31:26.920 --> 00:31:29.759
and maybe we can, or maybe maybe it's just not

623
00:31:29.799 --> 00:31:31.519
for me to be in their world anymore, but hopefully

624
00:31:31.559 --> 00:31:34.519
my story will empower them to go on a similar

625
00:31:34.559 --> 00:31:38.319
journey to me. I hope you're enjoying season four of

626
00:31:38.359 --> 00:31:40.359
the show, and hey, I would love for you to

627
00:31:40.440 --> 00:31:43.000
check out my brand new YouTube channel where I'm sharing

628
00:31:43.119 --> 00:31:45.720
even more tips on how you can feel less crappy

629
00:31:45.799 --> 00:31:49.279
and more happy. It's YouTube dot com forward slash cast Done,

630
00:31:49.319 --> 00:31:51.960
so come over check it out. I'd love you to subscribe,

631
00:31:52.039 --> 00:31:54.839
And if you haven't already taken my free seven day

632
00:31:54.880 --> 00:31:57.240
happiness challenge, you can sign up for that at cast

633
00:31:57.319 --> 00:32:02.160
Done dot com Forward slash Happiness.

634
00:32:04.119 --> 00:32:06.720
There are plenty of people. I will say women, but

635
00:32:06.759 --> 00:32:10.599
people generally who do, even if they don't say it

636
00:32:10.640 --> 00:32:14.839
out loud, they quietly worry that they're drinking too much.

637
00:32:14.880 --> 00:32:17.079
They you know, have this little oh not.

638
00:32:17.240 --> 00:32:19.480
You know, I know too many, right, I know too

639
00:32:19.519 --> 00:32:20.079
many people.

640
00:32:20.519 --> 00:32:22.519
But then I think there's this other group of people

641
00:32:22.920 --> 00:32:25.240
because because I think those people when they get clear

642
00:32:25.279 --> 00:32:27.359
with that and they overcome the challenges and the fears,

643
00:32:27.400 --> 00:32:29.440
and you know, they can they can handle that. But

644
00:32:30.039 --> 00:32:32.640
there's another group of people who say, so what, like,

645
00:32:32.720 --> 00:32:34.519
I just drink, Like I drink. I don't drink more

646
00:32:34.519 --> 00:32:35.240
than anybody else.

647
00:32:35.240 --> 00:32:37.799
I just drink. Like, what's the what's the problem?

648
00:32:37.920 --> 00:32:42.039
Yeah, but it's a big problem, like from a public

649
00:32:42.200 --> 00:32:45.160
and I don't want to get all into the stats

650
00:32:45.200 --> 00:32:48.160
and the risk factors, but I think it has to

651
00:32:48.200 --> 00:32:52.559
be said because I just read that ninety percent of people,

652
00:32:52.559 --> 00:32:55.559
there's very recent survey, ninety percent of people who drink

653
00:32:55.599 --> 00:32:59.319
believe they drink responsibly, but only thirty percent of people.

654
00:32:59.279 --> 00:33:01.599
Actually know what the healthy drinking guidelines are.

655
00:33:02.240 --> 00:33:06.079
Yeah, and the healthy drinking guidelines are shifting a little

656
00:33:06.079 --> 00:33:08.480
bit too, because there's been another study that's come out

657
00:33:08.480 --> 00:33:10.960
of the UK and the recommendation is zero.

658
00:33:11.279 --> 00:33:12.759
Our zero drinks.

659
00:33:13.599 --> 00:33:19.519
That is the healthy recommendation of alcoholic beverages zero. So

660
00:33:19.799 --> 00:33:23.240
one point two standard drinks whatever that is. People think

661
00:33:23.240 --> 00:33:25.359
that that's a full glass of wine. A full glass

662
00:33:25.400 --> 00:33:26.079
of wine is.

663
00:33:26.039 --> 00:33:29.960
I think two standards? Yes at least. So you have

664
00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:32.400
a glass of wine three.

665
00:33:32.240 --> 00:33:36.599
Days a week, you're way over the healthy recommended intake

666
00:33:36.640 --> 00:33:39.039
of alcohol per week. And the other thing that we do,

667
00:33:39.240 --> 00:33:43.920
which were brilliant at because we're geniuses, is we totally

668
00:33:44.039 --> 00:33:46.640
undersell how many drinks we've had. Yes, so if I

669
00:33:47.880 --> 00:33:50.920
have definitely done this, like caught up with my mom

670
00:33:50.960 --> 00:33:53.759
after a bit of a big night and she's like, oh, gee,

671
00:33:53.799 --> 00:33:56.839
you look a bit hungover, which is her being very

672
00:33:56.920 --> 00:33:58.640
polite because I would have looked horrendous.

673
00:33:59.079 --> 00:34:01.440
But how many drinks did you have last night? I'm like, oh,

674
00:34:01.519 --> 00:34:04.720
you know, like, oh, probably five or six. It was

675
00:34:04.839 --> 00:34:07.240
definitely fifteen, right like it was.

676
00:34:08.079 --> 00:34:10.920
It was one hundred percent fifteen because when you think

677
00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:14.639
about the beer I had at home before the taxi came,

678
00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:17.840
and then we started on beers and then got to

679
00:34:17.960 --> 00:34:20.400
wine and then ended with a nightcap, and we were

680
00:34:20.400 --> 00:34:22.760
there for hours and hours, and they were twos and

681
00:34:22.760 --> 00:34:26.199
we all bought around, like, so you do the math,

682
00:34:26.440 --> 00:34:30.440
but we tell ourselves that it's only a few And

683
00:34:30.519 --> 00:34:34.119
so for those people that sit in that space, the

684
00:34:35.400 --> 00:34:38.960
what happens is when you don't realize it's an issue,

685
00:34:39.519 --> 00:34:42.000
somebody else might realize it for you and call you

686
00:34:42.079 --> 00:34:44.719
out on it, and that's always a tricky conversation. And

687
00:34:44.800 --> 00:34:48.760
people also really don't like confrontations, So usually people would

688
00:34:48.760 --> 00:34:51.239
just sit there and put up with you destroying your

689
00:34:51.320 --> 00:34:54.800
brain cells every weekend, and they put up with the

690
00:34:54.840 --> 00:34:58.599
misbehaving and the escalation of craziness that happens.

691
00:34:58.920 --> 00:35:04.280
Because I feel like drinking is this slippery slope where.

692
00:35:04.000 --> 00:35:08.639
You start off and it's super manageable and it is

693
00:35:08.679 --> 00:35:12.320
only on Friday nights and you don't really get that hungover,

694
00:35:12.960 --> 00:35:15.360
and it ends up in this thing that you have

695
00:35:15.440 --> 00:35:17.480
to do every single day just to cope with your life,

696
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:23.519
and that happens so scarily steadily that you don't even

697
00:35:23.599 --> 00:35:26.159
realize it. And for me, it was like I woke

698
00:35:26.239 --> 00:35:30.000
up in twenty fourteen and was like, whoa girlfriend, you

699
00:35:30.360 --> 00:35:31.400
have an issue here?

700
00:35:31.920 --> 00:35:34.079
How do we get here? How the hell did we

701
00:35:34.119 --> 00:35:34.840
even get here?

702
00:35:34.960 --> 00:35:39.519
Like I don't even remember, don't I don't remember becoming

703
00:35:39.559 --> 00:35:42.800
this person, but I am this person now. So for

704
00:35:42.840 --> 00:35:47.760
those people who don't think they drink too much, that

705
00:35:47.880 --> 00:35:51.000
it's for them to figure out. And again, so with

706
00:35:51.159 --> 00:35:56.480
the social rebellion, I guess my question is not just

707
00:35:56.519 --> 00:35:58.000
for people who think they drink too much.

708
00:35:58.079 --> 00:35:59.880
My question is for everybody.

709
00:36:00.320 --> 00:36:04.480
So for every single person, ask yourself the question, am

710
00:36:04.480 --> 00:36:06.679
I drinking a bit too much and a bit too often?

711
00:36:06.760 --> 00:36:10.159
And what can I do about that? Or how is

712
00:36:10.239 --> 00:36:11.719
my relationship with alcohol?

713
00:36:11.920 --> 00:36:13.840
So not how many drinks that I have? And is

714
00:36:13.880 --> 00:36:14.880
that socially acceptable?

715
00:36:14.920 --> 00:36:18.719
Because what's socially acceptable is so bad for us. It

716
00:36:18.800 --> 00:36:23.320
is so unhealthy, it's detrimental. It like alcohol literally kills

717
00:36:23.360 --> 00:36:25.400
our brain cells. Do people not realize this.

718
00:36:25.400 --> 00:36:29.280
And gives us cancer. It's a known carcynogen neurotoxin.

719
00:36:29.880 --> 00:36:33.199
If you have as a woman, I don't know the

720
00:36:33.239 --> 00:36:37.239
exact number, but it's not much wine per week, your

721
00:36:37.599 --> 00:36:43.800
chance of getting breast cancer increases by forty percent, not

722
00:36:44.119 --> 00:36:47.519
four percent, which is still bad because nobody wants cancer.

723
00:36:47.960 --> 00:36:51.639
But you're so you're dabbling with this stuff that is

724
00:36:52.400 --> 00:36:55.079
killing your insides, killing your brain cells.

725
00:36:55.320 --> 00:36:56.880
It's the reason why.

726
00:36:56.719 --> 00:36:59.239
You feel like you can do things that you don't

727
00:36:59.280 --> 00:37:00.920
do when you're so when you're drunk is.

728
00:37:00.840 --> 00:37:04.519
Because it stops your brain working. So when your brain.

729
00:37:04.320 --> 00:37:07.320
Doesn't work, you do things like take all your clothes

730
00:37:07.320 --> 00:37:09.400
off and jump in the pool at the boss's house,

731
00:37:09.679 --> 00:37:12.559
which you wouldn't do at ten thirty in the morning

732
00:37:12.639 --> 00:37:15.079
at a staff meeting. And there's a reason that you

733
00:37:15.119 --> 00:37:18.119
don't do it during the day is because your brain

734
00:37:18.320 --> 00:37:21.599
is working. And then you have half a dozen drinks

735
00:37:21.639 --> 00:37:23.960
and all of a sudden you're doing all this madness.

736
00:37:24.800 --> 00:37:27.920
And that's because your brain stopped working. Guys, that's what

737
00:37:27.960 --> 00:37:30.599
alcohol is doing to us. That's why we do silly things,

738
00:37:30.639 --> 00:37:34.559
and that's why people die. Yeah, like the number of

739
00:37:34.599 --> 00:37:38.360
lives that would be lost from somebody being too drunk.

740
00:37:38.239 --> 00:37:41.559
See six thousand every year, terrifying and one hundred and

741
00:37:41.559 --> 00:37:45.239
forty four thousand hospitalizations every year terrorf alcohol related.

742
00:37:45.400 --> 00:37:48.760
I read that before we chatted. Good good memory. Good.

743
00:37:49.039 --> 00:37:56.079
See you haven't had your but to get to get that.

744
00:37:56.119 --> 00:37:58.760
I'm gonna before we leave, I'm going to ask for

745
00:37:58.920 --> 00:38:01.400
your tips for anybody listening. But also I just want

746
00:38:01.440 --> 00:38:04.159
to say, even if you're not jumping in the pool

747
00:38:04.199 --> 00:38:06.320
with your clothes on at the boss's party. For a

748
00:38:06.400 --> 00:38:09.400
lot of women, it's just not being quite fully present

749
00:38:09.400 --> 00:38:11.960
when they put their kids to bed, you know, it's

750
00:38:12.000 --> 00:38:13.960
still being a bit shady in the morning on the

751
00:38:13.960 --> 00:38:15.079
school drop off.

752
00:38:15.760 --> 00:38:17.719
It's you know, like it's that day to day.

753
00:38:17.760 --> 00:38:23.719
It's not bringing your A game to anything in your life, parenting, work, relationships, anything.

754
00:38:24.119 --> 00:38:27.320
And what I realized to Cass is that when so

755
00:38:27.519 --> 00:38:30.840
I thought I was doing okay, like I really did,

756
00:38:31.039 --> 00:38:32.320
and even though I was like, oh, I think I

757
00:38:32.360 --> 00:38:34.159
drink too much to offer I'm not really sure how

758
00:38:34.199 --> 00:38:36.159
to go on melt with, but I'm going I can.

759
00:38:36.159 --> 00:38:38.360
I'm still showing up to work, I'm still kicking. But

760
00:38:38.559 --> 00:38:43.000
at my career, like I was doing okay, what I

761
00:38:43.079 --> 00:38:45.440
realized after I'd given up drinking is that I was

762
00:38:45.480 --> 00:38:48.760
probably running at about sixty percent of my capacity. And

763
00:38:48.840 --> 00:38:51.559
when you start running at about I'm going to say

764
00:38:51.599 --> 00:38:54.079
I'm running at about ninety percent now because I feel

765
00:38:54.079 --> 00:38:57.320
like there's more improvement to do and more empowerment to have.

766
00:38:58.679 --> 00:39:00.599
No one wants to give themselves a ten out, Let's

767
00:39:00.599 --> 00:39:05.199
be honest, but that difference is huge and you don't

768
00:39:05.239 --> 00:39:07.519
realize it because when you just run at sixty percent

769
00:39:07.599 --> 00:39:09.719
you think I'm going full throttle and I'm killing it,

770
00:39:10.119 --> 00:39:13.440
and let me tell you are not. And when those

771
00:39:13.559 --> 00:39:15.679
lights go on in that room or you start seeing

772
00:39:15.679 --> 00:39:17.639
color for the first time in a long time, it

773
00:39:17.679 --> 00:39:22.440
is a It's another beautiful addiction because now I don't

774
00:39:22.480 --> 00:39:24.679
want to not be present. I don't want to miss

775
00:39:24.679 --> 00:39:27.880
out on a second of this life with a haze,

776
00:39:27.960 --> 00:39:31.320
with a hangover, with a fuzziness, or I don't want

777
00:39:31.320 --> 00:39:32.360
to lose another memory.

778
00:39:32.400 --> 00:39:34.159
I don't want to lose another night. I don't want to.

779
00:39:34.079 --> 00:39:38.000
Lose another wallet. Like I am so down with this

780
00:39:38.039 --> 00:39:41.760
way of living. And I feel like everyone will love

781
00:39:41.800 --> 00:39:44.639
it if they decide to go on the journey to

782
00:39:44.679 --> 00:39:47.039
get where I'm doing my life from right now.

783
00:39:48.719 --> 00:39:52.000
But again that's it's up to everybody. And you can't

784
00:39:52.119 --> 00:39:54.719
tell you can lead a horse to water, you can

785
00:39:54.800 --> 00:39:57.239
lead a girl to a bar out of a bar.

786
00:39:58.880 --> 00:39:59.679
Can you tell us?

787
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.760
So our listeners who are now thinking, no, this is this, yep,

788
00:40:03.840 --> 00:40:06.559
I need to I need to take a cheeky month

789
00:40:06.920 --> 00:40:09.119
off alcohol and see where that leads me. What's your

790
00:40:09.119 --> 00:40:12.159
advice for anybody in those early stages the cravings hit,

791
00:40:12.599 --> 00:40:15.119
you know, there's pressure to drink there came a catch

792
00:40:15.159 --> 00:40:15.760
up for drinks.

793
00:40:16.079 --> 00:40:17.239
How do they manage?

794
00:40:17.639 --> 00:40:20.760
So first of all, I would encourage everyone, even if

795
00:40:20.800 --> 00:40:24.559
you think your relationship with alcohol is on point, to

796
00:40:24.639 --> 00:40:25.440
take a month off.

797
00:40:26.440 --> 00:40:27.639
And the reason I say that.

798
00:40:27.639 --> 00:40:31.000
Is because if your relationship with alcohol is on point,

799
00:40:31.199 --> 00:40:32.719
you should be able to have a month off and

800
00:40:32.760 --> 00:40:36.000
it should be easy, peasy. So everyone should do this.

801
00:40:36.039 --> 00:40:40.599
Everyone should do thirty one days away from alcohol. And

802
00:40:40.880 --> 00:40:43.320
in my book The Social Rebellion, I actually do a

803
00:40:43.400 --> 00:40:47.559
daily guide, so each day there is something to read

804
00:40:47.639 --> 00:40:50.159
and there's something to do. And I feel like when

805
00:40:50.159 --> 00:40:54.000
we do the physical, it gets into our spirit and

806
00:40:54.039 --> 00:40:56.440
into our body and it helps us along the road.

807
00:40:56.519 --> 00:40:58.639
So there's something to read and then there's something to

808
00:40:58.719 --> 00:41:02.719
do every day. In the first seventy two hours is

809
00:41:02.880 --> 00:41:05.559
your body's detoxing. Even if you don't drink a lot,

810
00:41:05.719 --> 00:41:09.039
you're still because alcohol is a poison. When you put

811
00:41:09.039 --> 00:41:11.400
it into your body, every other system in your body

812
00:41:11.440 --> 00:41:13.880
stops working, and then your body tries to get the

813
00:41:13.920 --> 00:41:16.039
poison out. That's why we throw up when we drink

814
00:41:16.039 --> 00:41:18.000
too much. It's why you break the seal. You can't

815
00:41:18.000 --> 00:41:22.679
stop wing. It's your body expelling poison from itself. But

816
00:41:22.760 --> 00:41:26.039
after seventy two hours, your body has done that, and

817
00:41:26.079 --> 00:41:29.039
then your body is going to crave that thing again,

818
00:41:29.480 --> 00:41:32.559
because especially in that pleasure center in your brain, if

819
00:41:32.599 --> 00:41:35.880
you associate alcohol with good times, your body just your

820
00:41:35.920 --> 00:41:37.719
brain is like, give me the good times, give me

821
00:41:37.760 --> 00:41:41.440
the good time. So you kind of send your body

822
00:41:41.480 --> 00:41:45.239
into this really like scary space where you probably feel

823
00:41:45.239 --> 00:41:47.679
a bit lightheaded for a few days when you're not

824
00:41:47.760 --> 00:41:51.719
drinking alcohol. But that's just your body recalibrating normal because

825
00:41:51.760 --> 00:41:53.559
you've stuffed up what normal is.

826
00:41:53.559 --> 00:41:54.119
That's right.

827
00:41:54.159 --> 00:41:57.719
So those cravings so because there's so much sugar in

828
00:41:57.800 --> 00:42:00.599
alcohol as well, Like I just used to smash a

829
00:42:00.639 --> 00:42:03.960
maxibon every night and I would just I'd eat sugar.

830
00:42:04.199 --> 00:42:04.920
That was my thing.

831
00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:07.800
I'm like, I am just craving sugar and I better

832
00:42:07.840 --> 00:42:09.199
to have a Snickers.

833
00:42:09.280 --> 00:42:10.800
Than a tequila, you know.

834
00:42:11.000 --> 00:42:14.480
And but obviously that can only last for so long,

835
00:42:14.840 --> 00:42:19.280
because then you've got another problem, you become OBEs. But

836
00:42:19.719 --> 00:42:23.000
I think in those initial stages, I think you just

837
00:42:23.119 --> 00:42:26.159
give your body that, like the sugar or whatever it

838
00:42:26.280 --> 00:42:29.400
needs to or just get on the soda water and

839
00:42:29.440 --> 00:42:31.320
just flush it all out. Once you've flushed it all

840
00:42:31.320 --> 00:42:35.639
out physically, then you can start doing different things. So

841
00:42:35.679 --> 00:42:39.079
instead of having wine, have a soda water or soda

842
00:42:39.119 --> 00:42:41.079
water with lime is what I've always had.

843
00:42:41.119 --> 00:42:43.039
But now there's loads of options.

844
00:42:43.079 --> 00:42:47.599
They've got seed lip, which is a non alcoholic.

845
00:42:48.599 --> 00:42:48.800
Gin.

846
00:42:48.920 --> 00:42:53.039
It's fermented from peas and it makes you feel it

847
00:42:53.079 --> 00:42:56.159
feels like you're drinking alcohol, but it's one hundred percent

848
00:42:56.159 --> 00:42:58.199
alcohol freeze. There's a few brands on the market. I

849
00:42:58.239 --> 00:43:00.840
got into kombucha, so to make you my kombucha, and

850
00:43:00.880 --> 00:43:03.480
it's a bit fizzy, it's good. It's good, all that

851
00:43:03.599 --> 00:43:06.079
good probiotic junk that you need in your body for

852
00:43:06.159 --> 00:43:06.559
your gut.

853
00:43:06.639 --> 00:43:09.119
So you know, there's loads of options.

854
00:43:09.199 --> 00:43:11.679
You just have to just be creative with it, I

855
00:43:11.719 --> 00:43:15.280
think when it comes to cravings. But point is everyone

856
00:43:15.360 --> 00:43:18.480
to take thirty one days away from alcohol because if

857
00:43:18.519 --> 00:43:20.840
you're not in a good place with alcohol and you

858
00:43:20.880 --> 00:43:23.280
think you are, you'll figure it out. If you're not

859
00:43:23.320 --> 00:43:25.280
in a good place with alcohol and you know you are,

860
00:43:25.400 --> 00:43:28.840
you'll figure it out, and that's better for everyone, especially you.

861
00:43:29.840 --> 00:43:32.400
Maz Thanks so much for your time today. I really

862
00:43:32.480 --> 00:43:37.079
appreciate it. For anybody. One last thing, for anybody who

863
00:43:37.599 --> 00:43:40.679
takes the challenge, takes a break from alcohol. Can you

864
00:43:40.800 --> 00:43:45.760
tell them for you roughly, how long before you really

865
00:43:46.039 --> 00:43:48.280
feel like you broke the habit, like it stopped being

866
00:43:48.320 --> 00:43:50.679
an issue for you, those cravings kind of didn't show

867
00:43:50.719 --> 00:43:52.800
themselves anymore. Because that's a big question for a lot

868
00:43:52.840 --> 00:43:53.239
of people.

869
00:43:53.400 --> 00:43:56.519
Yeah, I think it would be different for everybody. But physically,

870
00:43:57.440 --> 00:44:00.519
physically the cravings go in a couple of days really,

871
00:44:00.679 --> 00:44:03.119
and then it becomes a mental game and then it's

872
00:44:03.199 --> 00:44:04.239
just getting mentally fit.

873
00:44:04.320 --> 00:44:06.199
So for me, it was about day twenty.

874
00:44:05.880 --> 00:44:11.119
Three where like I really really had this complete life

875
00:44:11.159 --> 00:44:14.360
transformation moment. As I said earlier, it felt like somebody

876
00:44:14.400 --> 00:44:17.199
switched the lights on in the room and that was

877
00:44:17.280 --> 00:44:22.239
my AHA moment to quote Oprah, and I am. I

878
00:44:22.320 --> 00:44:24.719
am a transformed person by the renewing of my mind.

879
00:44:24.800 --> 00:44:27.400
And I'm doing this thing now for a different reason

880
00:44:27.400 --> 00:44:29.599
than what I started twenty three days ago. And for

881
00:44:29.679 --> 00:44:32.400
some people it might not be that in your face.

882
00:44:32.519 --> 00:44:34.519
It might just be all of a sudden, you wake

883
00:44:34.599 --> 00:44:35.920
up and you haven't had a drink for twelve months

884
00:44:35.920 --> 00:44:37.920
because it was no biggie, but you feel better for it,

885
00:44:38.480 --> 00:44:41.519
So it is. It's something to commit to. But as

886
00:44:41.519 --> 00:44:44.400
I said, like when you simplify. I don't think it's

887
00:44:44.400 --> 00:44:47.440
about willpower. I really don't, and I don't think it's

888
00:44:47.480 --> 00:44:51.719
necessarily anything other than discipline and just making it's one choice,

889
00:44:51.760 --> 00:44:55.280
that's all. This is really how many choices do you

890
00:44:55.320 --> 00:44:58.519
make every day? Make one less of those and make

891
00:44:58.559 --> 00:45:01.920
this one. So put your clothes out the night before.

892
00:45:01.719 --> 00:45:02.519
And what you're going to wear.

893
00:45:02.679 --> 00:45:04.239
Then you wake up in the morning, you don't have

894
00:45:04.280 --> 00:45:05.920
to make a choice about what you're wearing. And you

895
00:45:05.920 --> 00:45:08.159
can make a choice to not drink alcohol, and that's

896
00:45:08.199 --> 00:45:10.599
not going to stuff your brain up with the You know,

897
00:45:10.920 --> 00:45:12.679
we've only got a certain amount of decisions we can

898
00:45:12.719 --> 00:45:16.280
make every day. It's one choice every day, and it's

899
00:45:16.320 --> 00:45:18.480
a good choice to make. So that would be my

900
00:45:18.599 --> 00:45:21.280
encouragement is to just go on the journey and see

901
00:45:21.559 --> 00:45:24.960
and also let me know how that journey goes, because

902
00:45:25.199 --> 00:45:28.360
I love hearing from people that have that.

903
00:45:28.440 --> 00:45:30.880
Live freely and empowered lives.

904
00:45:30.920 --> 00:45:34.639
Now because I've been able to share my story, and

905
00:45:35.000 --> 00:45:36.760
thank you for helping me share it too.

906
00:45:36.920 --> 00:45:39.599
Thank you for your time. Appreciate it, Mas Pleasure.

907
00:45:44.199 --> 00:45:47.280
Maz's book, The Social Rebellion is available in stores, and

908
00:45:47.320 --> 00:45:50.360
while Maz doesn't through social media, she does have a website,

909
00:45:50.440 --> 00:45:52.880
Mascompton dot net if you would like to go and

910
00:45:52.960 --> 00:45:57.360
check her out. My new book, Crappy to Happy Love

911
00:45:57.400 --> 00:45:59.760
What You Do is out in all good bookstores, so

912
00:45:59.800 --> 00:46:02.280
if you want to find more happy in work, go

913
00:46:02.360 --> 00:46:05.360
and check it out. On the next episode, I'm talking

914
00:46:05.400 --> 00:46:07.519
to Lucas Patchett, who is one half of the team

915
00:46:07.559 --> 00:46:10.880
who found an Orange Sky Laundry. Lucas and I chatted

916
00:46:10.880 --> 00:46:13.440
about why he chose to start a charity and why

917
00:46:13.599 --> 00:46:17.239
everyone should think about giving back to their community.

918
00:46:18.280 --> 00:46:21.000
Crappy to Happy is presented by Cash Dunn, produced by

919
00:46:21.079 --> 00:46:29.000
Davis Lenski, Audio production by Darcy Thompson. Listener