Cutting back on the booze with Maz Compton

0:02 A listener production. Hey guys, you're listening to Crappy to Happy. I'm cass Done. I'm a clinical and coaching psychologist, a mindfulness meditation teacher, and author of the Crappy to Happy books. In this series, we look at all of the factors that might be making you feel crappy and give you the tools and the techniques that will help you to overcome them. In each episode, I introduce you to interesting, inspiring, intelligent people who are experts in their field, and my hope is that they will help you feel less crappy and more happy. Today, I'm talking to Maz Compton. And Maz, as you may know, had a massively successful career, first as an MTV presenter and then co host of the successful radio show Dan and Maz. She was the consummate party girl until she began to realize that she was drinking much more than was probably good for her. So, like many people, she embarked on her dry January and quickly realized that this was a lifestyle change that she wanted to continue in four and a half years since that dry January, and I asked Maz to come in and share with us the ups and downs that she's experienced since choosing an alcohol free life in our very alcohol centric culture.

1:13 Here's Maz. So. I quit drinking on the first of January twenty fifteen as a bit of an experiment, if that's probably the best word, because I didn't think it would go for any much longer than a month, and I haven't had a drink since, so it's working out pretty. Well for me, working really well for you. So you basically decided to do a dry January, as many people do often do after the Christmas New. Year totally, and for me it was more than just I'm just going to take a month off drinking. It was a bigger I felt my life was unraveling and I wanted to kind of get myself in check.

1:57 And the only thing that I. Really knew to do was to stop doing the thing that I didn't want to do anymore. And we can unpack that later in the chat, but you know, just to give everybody a bit of an overview, I found myself in a position in life which on paper was extremely successful, ticking so many boxes, kicking so many goals, but internally not coping or processing that very well. And so I turned to alcohol to help me cope with stress, pressure and compounded trauma basically, and when you do something so much and you hate doing it, it sends you a bit mad. So I had to figure out a way to get my head around my relationship with alcohol.

2:47 So I thought, let's just do a month without that thing in my life and see what happens in that month. Maybe I'll get some more clarity on how I can manage my relationship with alcohol better. Maybe maybe stopping drinking for four weeks and doing the scary thing socially of going to the barbecue and not having shots of fireball when that song comes on. Let's see how that all goes. So it was this idea of let's do a month and see what happens. And then within that month, around day twenty three, I kind of had this awakening and I felt like someone to turn the lights on in the room for maybe the first time in my adult life, and I was like, Wow, life really is better if you don't drink all the time. And I was able to start processing some emotional stuff and getting to know myself without.

3:42 Drinking all the time. So it's been it's been a huge journey, and I didn't really set out to go I'm never drinking again. And I didn't set out to go I'm going to be the how to live life alcohol free girl. That was. It wasn't a branding exercise. It wasn't. It has been a real empowering part of my life story and I am finding that it's connecting, especially with women, And so that's why I'm so happy to be vulnerable and share my brokenness if it can help somebody realize that they can be a better version of themselves if they're not drinking all the time. Would you call it brokenness though? Do you think that's fair? Well, I mean, really, what you're talking about with the drinking and the pressure to keep up and then managing stress with alcohol, that's pretty standard.

4:31 Yeah, it's normal. I say brokenness from and I can only talk about myself in this context. I can't and I wouldn't dare judge somebody else for where they are, why they drink so much so often, and how they come to a place where they may want to stop doing that. But for me personally, it was a place. It was a place of brokenness that I was living out of and that's how I was dealing with it. So instead of actually dealing with the thing, I coped. So I was coping by numbing myself by putting on this amazing facade all the time, which was just easier to keep up and do after a few wines.

5:11 If I'm being totally honest. It is it's just easier to do that after you feel you know, you cup a few times. So to face all of that stuff, I really did have to look in the mirror, and what I saw was a really a really broken person who I had to learn to love again. And I had to I had to go and re meet mas Compton and figure out who she actually was, away from this public persona away from the success, away from all of that glitz and glamour and shininess. I had to come to a place of like that raw hard look in the mirror and figure out how to love that person and how to nurture that girl into this person that I have become now, who I'm very proud of.

5:59 And when you say you know it started off as an experiment for thirty one days, you know at the time that we are having this conversation, we are right in the middle of dry July. The show will air a little bit later. But there's a lot of people around Australia giving up drinking for thirty one days now, and a lot of those people are just counting down to August. It really is a white knuckling kind. Of a process for people just until I can get that next drink. So I guess I'm just observing that it's interesting for you that it was not going to be I'm going to detox for a month. It's I'm going to really use this opportunity to re examine where I'm at with alcohol.

6:40 And I love a challenge. I consistently have throughout my adult life always set myself goals and challenges and maybe that's a part of why I have become successful at what I've done. But this was the ultimate challenge. Like work in radio, I'd just been offered and accept the Sydney Breakfast Show, which when it comes to radio careers, you know, you do the National Drive Show, you do the Sydney Breakfast Show, You're done. And at that point thought that I would be doing the Sydney Breakfast Show for more than ten months. To be fair, I thought it was going to be a much longer job. But heading into that, I wanted to clear my head, but you can't.

7:23 I didn't have a I didn't. Go overseas and go to an establishment and take myself out of my environment to do it. I did it head on. I did it at the height. Of my radio career, at the height of the pressure of that radio job. I went, Okay, here's the challenge. Let's go to all the client functions. Let's do when they open that bar on a Friday afternoon on that world famous rooftop. Let's not smash a couple of Yaega bombs. Let's actually let's maybe have a soda water and see how it goes. So it really truly was an experiment because I didn't shift much of my life. I kept living my life. I just eradicated the one thing that was unraveling at all. And I can only say that in hindsight. I think, you know, four and a half years later, I can look back and go, well, that's what I did. At the time, I was like, man, I just need to stop drinking so much. And I don't know how I know.

8:17 In your book too, you refer a lot too, and it's obviously you were working in an industry that does have a lot of you know, glitzy events and rooftop parties and lots of alcohol. But there are a lot of women I see, and not just you know, in my profession, but in my personal life and my friends and everybody around me that I need to be working in that sort of industry to still feel that social pressure to drink or even just to just have to come home and have one like one o'clock. It's so standard. Yeah, And I talk about I talk about the industry in my book. Not to blame the industry. It was always my choice, but that's just my story where that was my reality, my reality.

8:57 Now I have a four month old baby in two step Kears. It's like I'm a mum and so I have a lot of mum friends now, whereas you know, back then, I was socializing with people in radio circles and you know, clients and sales and TV and all the rest of it. Now, I like really hang out in my track. It acts in the park a lot, and you know, drinking mums is a real issue in this country really, and I'm immersed in this world now, which I think is really excellent. I feel that I now, as a mum, have permission to speak to other mothers, whereas before I didn't really have that permission because I could only come at it from a corporate standpoint because that was my journey.

9:37 But I'm journeying through motherhood not drinking alcohol, and I know there's many mothers and no judgment at all, because I get how hard it is. There's many mothers journeying through motherhood drinking a lot, maybe a bit too much, too often, and they're the people who I want to speak to, because if I can do motherhood and not get drunk, anyone can do it. I think too. My observation and my experience even as a mother, is that for many women, it's the only They feel like it's the only escape. When you've got babies, when you're at home and there's all of that, there's no escape. You can't just go out for a yoga class or a massage or some take a nap. They feel like the only escape is in that glass of wine.

10:22 The best way to assess, like. Do I have a drinking problem, because that's the question that everyone throws around like yes, So people will say things like well I said this, I was like, oh, I'm not an alcoholic and by definition when you look up the definition of alcoholic according to the AA Manifesto, which I have read, not because I went to AA just for research my book, To be honest, I read it after I stopped drinking, and I was like, man, I should have read this ages ago. It's really helpful. Really, yeah, it is. But I did not identify with that definition. I didn't feel powerless under a disease that I could not control. I did not feel that. And I knew I could just stop drinking for a month. I knew that I could do that. And the definition of alcoholic is not anything that resonated with me. And so I was in this really gray area of like, well what am I hat?

11:16 Do I have a drinking problem or do I just drink a bit too much too often? And is that a problem? When does that become a problem? How do we draw a line in the sand. So the reason for the book is because I wrote it for anyone who's ever sat in that space which I sat in, and I. Was like, well, I don't think that that is what I am. But I'm definitely not sober, and I'm definitely not doing my life the best way that I can I'm definitely not showing up as the best version of myself every single day. So somewhere between that extreme and that extreme, there's. This huge gray area, and I think, and I would say ninety percent of adults sit in that gray area. And it's this sliding scale, and one week here further towards one end, and when we have a bad week, we go first towards the other end, or when we have a great week and we're celebrating, we go further towards that other end. So finding your why, which is I'm getting to the point of answering your question of how mums feel like they need to escape their terrible children all the time by drinking wine. Finding the why in so why am I drinking? Why do I feel like having a glass of wine is the only way I can cope with my life? When you can drill, start drilling down into that, and that's a big, long, hard, scary look in the mirror. When you can start asking yourself those questions and you will start uncovering answers. So for me, again, I can only really draw from my journey at the time, which didn't involve being a mum,

12:46 but it involved being in the same space as a mum may find herself, which is I'm drinking too much too often. I don't know how to do it, Like quitting drinking. Is social suicide, like the will die, and literally was like, if I stop drinking, I will die. Well, I can tell you now, I'm not dead. As far as I know, nobody has died from stopping drinking, but a lot of people have died from continuing. So there's a nice little wake up call for anyone there who thinks that stopping drinking is the worst thing that you ever do in your life. You just have to redefine a whole bunch of stuff when you figure that out. So figuring out for me, it was, so why do I drink all the time? Why do I go to these events? And I say to myself in the car, I'm not going to drink tonight. And then I get a taxi home and I have to leave my car on the car park and then pay the overnight fee and then go and get a taxi back. And believe it or not, Cass, I'm an introvert and at which means I actually energize from spending time away from people.

13:49 And then I bring all of that energy to the environment that I get put in. So being a performer by nature who's an introvert is a really confusing space to. Sit in a lot when you don't realize that about yourself. So I would drink so that I wouldn't feel social anxiety in a room. That was one reason why I drank was to cope with the environments that I found myself uncomfortable in boredom. I moved four times in four years, into different cities and different jobs. So each time you're that new kid in class, it's a brand new environment. It's new roads, it's a new way to work, it's a new job, it's a new everything. And so when everything changes, you gravitate towards the consistent thing that won't let you down. And for me, that was a glass of red at night. I ended up just sitting at home and drinking glasses of wine a lot because I was bored. And I think for mums that can be a factor is I have been singing wine to the bobbin up all day to my one year old child, Wine the bobbin up, and you go mental, like you legit.

14:56 Get to the end of the day and you're like I feel like an insane person. I understand how that go to that grab four, that one consistent thing that won't let you down feels natural, But it's a lie and it will let you down eventually. But figuring out why does that feel like your escape and how can we escape to a better place is probably a good place to start if you're in a position where you want to redefine your relationship with alcohol. That's how I did it. It's not the only way. That's just my story. I'm really interested in the fact that you gave up for thirty one days and then you just stayed stopped. Because many people take breaks from alcohol, myself included, which is good. Can I just also say, like, if you just have a month off now and then that's fine, Like, that's actually a really great thing. It's good for your liver, it's good for your brain cells, it's good for your decision making. It's a good thing to take some time away occasionally. But if you feel like your relationship with alcohol is unhealthy, then you need to do maybe more than just have a month off. When things get a little cray, So oh, I'm going to tone it down by having a month off because if you get entrapped in that cycle.

16:05 You come back with a vengeance and you have a very, very wet August. That's true, that's true, true for a lot of people. But even people who do recognize that they have a problem and they say that's it, I'm done, I'm going to stop, they find it hard to stay stopped. Yes, right, So look, I don't know what the solution is for people who go through that, because that wasn't my story. So I will have to say that stopping. Drinking was one of the easiest things that I've done, and I will simplify it because you'll probably go, hang on a second, somebody who really is someone who has alcohol dependency disorder, which I think I probably did have, if I'm being honest, to just straight up stop drinking one day and then never have a drink since is a pretty unheard of story. But the way in the beginning days that I did that is I woke up every day and I realized that it was my decision.

17:06 So you know, Bob in accounts how he got you really wasted last weekend, he actually didn't. You got yourself wasted. You just didn't have the balls to tell Bob to piss off because he kept buying your drinks. That's the reality of the world that we live in. So when you can stop caring what other people think so much and you can actually each day go it is my choice. If I'm going to drink alcohol today, it's one hundred percent up to me. And so every single day from the first of January twenty fifteen, I've gone, it's my choice to drink alcohol today, and I'm not going to drink alcohol. And at the time, the worst possible thing that could have ever happened to me, except for losing a family member, would be to lose my job. And that happened ten months later, and I still didn't have a drink. And I woke up that morning on the sixth of October twenty fifteen, and I was like, Oh, it's my decision not having drink day, And yeah, of course I'm gonna have drink because've done ten months and I'm enjoying the person that I've become and this woman who I am, and I feel empowered and I'm helping people by sharing my story and this is awesome. And then I got fired that day, and I still didn't drink so when you realize that it's actually one hundred percent your own fault and not to make anyone feel bad or ashamed, but it's your fault that you're here.

18:31 But that means that it's one hundred percent up to you to get yourself out of it, which means it's one hundred percent possible because you're not relying on anyone else. Yeah, this journey for me is all about self empowerment. It's about taking responsibility for your actions, realizing that you are where you are because of a whole bunch of decisions, good, bad, or indifferent. But you can change that course of action really simply by just making one choice every day. And that's how I did it, and that's. Why it was easy because I never I had to argue with anyone who was in my face about not drinking, because I was like, I'm sorry, Sonya that you're upset that I'm not going to have shots with you, but I've decided that I'm not drinking today, and you screaming at me is not going to change my choice because I'm making an empowered choice for my life.

19:16 I would like to come back to the social pressure issue because I think that is a really big issue that gets in a lot of people's way. But going back to that, you know, you lost your job after ten months, and by then you had had ten months of learning to live without alcohol and building that knowing, knowing within you that life is better without alcohol. And I think going back to that starting stopping thing, what I have found because I have been We actually sat in this studio last year, I think November. Christina Carlson was a guest, and she said, I just took a year off drinking, and I think it was actually more like fifteen months at the time. And I said, oh, yeah, I'm doing that because at the time I had this idea that I'd sort of was taking a month off, you know till Christmas or whatever and just having a break, but in the back of my mind thinking it would be really cool to go for longer, like to do a year anyway, so she said, oh, yeah, that's great.

20:09 So anyway, I got as far as I think four months. Yeah, and. Like ticked off the boxes, ticked off dur I January, got to ninety days, got two hundred days tracking to you know, and feeling really really good, and then was just in a social situation with some friends. Hadn't seen them for ages, and they handed me a drink and it was just oh, oh okay, I said, oh, I haven't really been drinking, and oh well you don't have to drink it, but you know, sitting there drink in front of me, it just I just honestly, it was almost accidental, Like I didn't wake up that day thinking today's the day I'm going to drink again after four months of not drinking. No, But before you know it, you're just back into that Oh well, that's really really common normal.

20:52 But since then I've gone and had other I've gone back off, you know, another six weeks, another six weeks, whatever, And over time you do start to realize within you, even with the off on thing, you know what, I actually do, life heaps better. When I'm not drinking. Yeah, I'm still as stressed and as busy, but I cope better, I sleep better, I nothing, things don't phase me as much. And I think you just have to build up that in like as you obviously have done. Like you build up that inner knowing within you, and then other people can't get in your way because you know within yourself it's just better, I guess It's just. Like a muscle, yeah, you know, and the more you train it, the stronger it gets and the more resilient it is. And I think it's really normal for people to want to and I'm not downplaying your journey at all, but it's this novelty factor of like, I'm going to go six months without drinking, and that's great. Like I'm not dissing anyone that makes that choice. That's an awesome choice, but you have to ask yourself, why are you doing that?

21:59 Is so you can put it on social media and brag and then go back to and then. Just go back to drinking, or because I got to a point in my life where it was actually about me wanting to be a better person for me, and then everyone else gets to benefit from that too. But it was about It wasn't about everyone else's approval or being able to say I did this thing, How awesome am I? Please give me validation. It wasn't about pre planning an Instagram post that I'm going to do six months down the track when I've not had alcohol for six months and everyone can tell me how cool I am. It was a very private and personal choice, and so I think the reason why people will say I'm going to do six months and they only go four is because they don't have that driver of well, we're making mass empowerment and big change here.

22:55 We're just we're ticking a box, which is fine. I'm like I said, if you're going to have some time away from alcohol, I encourage it. I highly highly highly encourage it. But if you want to go one step beyond that, you've got to go You've got to go deeper, like you've got to get some therapy, really, and you can do that with yourself by asking yourself the tough questions of like, okay, so why are we doing this again? What's the point? Because if you've got a rock solid reason, you probably will go further along, you know, and you may get to that twelve months, and then I feel after twelve months, when you do have a drink, you're fine about it because you've got a better relationship with alcohol, you know, like you actually know what your limit is, and you you're like, well, I did this, I did without this or twelve months, so I maybe just want to have like one drink when I go out, if I go out with this group of friends.

23:49 And then not you know, eighty twenty whatever. You know. I have a friend of a work who did that. She had a pretty rough time with alcohol. That means she had a pretty good time with alcohol. She actually ended up in a really bad place. Yeah. Yeah, it was really good until it got really bad exactly, and it switches really quickly. It's called the death sip. And then she took a she took her I think it was a year, and then she Now what she does is if there's a special occasion, she has one drink. Yeah, And to be honest, I that confuses me. I think, well, but I don't know, no judgment for anybody. Think good on her. And to be able to go back to have one drink. Many people couldn't do that. They would be straight back into the she's got. I would say that's probably just will power, because one.

24:40 Is better than a hundred. Of course, because I know you're saying cash, You're like, well, why bother having the one? Just have zero? Yes, But if she wants to have one, one's better than ten, and it probably used to be ten, yes, So that's like a really huge improvement. And if she can manage the one and she can have a good relationshitionship with that one. She probably really enjoys it, and there's freedom in that choice. That's the other thing that I'm really passionate about talking about is I am the freest I've ever been in my life. And I feel if you have an attachment to a substance, you are living an enslaved life and you're trapped in a thing. So again, this is all about becoming free from Oh my god, I don't want to go to so and So's wedding because I just don't want to drink this weekend.

25:29 That's not a free life. That's not free choice. That's being trapped by a thing that has got a hold on you. That's affecting your decisions on how you're going to show up for your friends. So, and that's why with my book The Social Rebellion, it's about true freedom begins with a cheeky month of alcohol, because that is again where I believe we should all be living from is an empowered and a free life. And you can't do that if you're constantly worried about what am I going to do if I have this next drink? Because if I have one, I have ten, and if I have ten, you know, all of a sudden, six months has gone by and here we you know, and we're having this conversation again and nothing's changed.

26:10 Yeah, exactly, Can we talk about the social pressure? Did you experience that in the early days when. You're massively right? Oh? Massively? That was honestly, Cas, Maybe my number one fear going into the experiment was how am I going to show up to work events, to we can barbecues, to my friend's housewarming party and not drink? How how? Because what's not the best thing to do is to lock yourself in your house with a hot water bottle and some comfy pajamas for four weeks, because that is not going to help you actually manage your relationship with alcohol.

26:50 You've got to practice it. So I put myself in every situation that I normally would go and have a billion drinks at and just didn't drink. But I legit had a grown human adult man yell in my face when I didn't want to do a shot at a party, really yell like was so angry, like so insanely angry at me because I wouldn't do shots. And I just said to him very calmly, even though on the inside. I was not calm. I was like, mate, I haven't had a drink at this point, it was two months. It's like, I haven't had a drink for two months. Let me break this down for you.

27:35 If I was going to have a drink right now, it's not going to be with you, and it's not going to be a shot. So please go away and stop yelling at me for not partaking in this celebratory ritual that we are all doing right now. I'm still here, I'm still at the party. I'm actually having a great time. Yeah, you don't seem to be having a good time though, because you're angry at me for my personal choice to not have a drink. Now, that's insane, but that's so common, it's so common common. So I over the I think over the time over that first six months. Initially, definitely, because by six months everyone was like, let's invite mas, Oh, let's not bother, she's not drinking, or like, let's in my invite Maz and no, she's not going to drink, so we don't need to give her a hard time anymore.

28:23 But the first six months was. Rough, and I had people, I had somebody who I really, really respect, say to me, we'll give us a call when you're back on the wagon, Like, don't bother hanging out with me until then, or. Well, how long is that gonna last? Hey, how long are you gonna do How long you're gonna do that for Compton? You know? And I just so the social pressure is real and I'm not gonna sit here and go. Oh, it's fine, you'll you'll coat. It's hard, and I've I've let friendships go. Some of them naturally fizzled out because all we used to do is get together and drink, and I I'd eventually stopped doing that. So over time, I rejigged my social engagement and I started saying to my girlfriends, especially my really close friends, who all still drink wine and whatever, and you know, they have healthy relationships with alcohol and all good. We started doing brunch, I started going to the gym a lot. I started going for walks with friends, and I started finding things where alcohol wasn't the key ingredients.

29:29 So I sort of, I guess, transitioned my social life into something completely different. And it's different again now as a mum definitely, But at that point, you know, like not having kids, what else do you do except for go to the bar and hang out with everyone. So I just had to rejig that. So some friendships naturally fizzled out. Some friendships I decided, I'm just going to stop contacting I'm not going to catch up with this person anymore, like we're done. You've actually hurt me, and I don't want to have a person like that speaking into my life when I'm making all these good choices. So it is, it's. Really hard, and it's sad as well, because there's some people I really like and I'm like, oh, we had great times together, but unless we're both wasted, like we have nothing in common. So we've been spending all this time together, but we don't even know each other's middle names.

30:26 Like that's not real connection. And we are hardwired for real face to face connection, so I make sure now. And also, being an introvert, I don't want lots of social so social stuff, so. I don't do mother's groups, but I do. I have like a couple of really close mum friends and we just do one on one time. And so I found my quality of relationship escalated massively because I was actually investing in really wholesome one on one quality time which fills me up, you know, and that and those relationships are the ones that I'll have for the rest of my days, and they're the ones that I'm really happy to have, and the other ones, it's sad and you have to grieve it.

31:11 And you know, I now keep this friendship garden tight and bright. But I hope that somehow me making my choices has planted a seed in those people and that one day they you know, get their relationship with alcohol more manageable and maybe we can, or maybe maybe it's just not for me to be in their world anymore, but hopefully my story will empower them to go on a similar journey to me. I hope you're enjoying season four of the show, and hey, I would love for you to check out my brand new YouTube channel where I'm sharing even more tips on how you can feel less crappy and more happy. It's YouTube dot com forward slash cast Done, so come over check it out. I'd love you to subscribe, And if you haven't already taken my free seven day happiness challenge, you can sign up for that at cast Done dot com Forward slash Happiness.

32:04 There are plenty of people. I will say women, but people generally who do, even if they don't say it out loud, they quietly worry that they're drinking too much. They you know, have this little oh not. You know, I know too many, right, I know too many people. But then I think there's this other group of people because because I think those people when they get clear with that and they overcome the challenges and the fears, and you know, they can they can handle that. But there's another group of people who say, so what, like, I just drink, Like I drink. I don't drink more than anybody else. I just drink. Like, what's the what's the problem? Yeah, but it's a big problem, like from a public and I don't want to get all into the stats and the risk factors, but I think it has to be said because I just read that ninety percent of people, there's very recent survey, ninety percent of people who drink believe they drink responsibly, but only thirty percent of people.

32:59 Actually know what the healthy drinking guidelines are. Yeah, and the healthy drinking guidelines are shifting a little bit too, because there's been another study that's come out of the UK and the recommendation is zero. Our zero drinks. That is the healthy recommendation of alcoholic beverages zero. So one point two standard drinks whatever that is. People think that that's a full glass of wine. A full glass of wine is. I think two standards? Yes at least. So you have a glass of wine three. Days a week, you're way over the healthy recommended intake of alcohol per week. And the other thing that we do, which were brilliant at because we're geniuses, is we totally undersell how many drinks we've had. Yes, so if I have definitely done this, like caught up with my mom after a bit of a big night and she's like, oh, gee, you look a bit hungover, which is her being very polite because I would have looked horrendous.

33:59 But how many drinks did you have last night? I'm like, oh, you know, like, oh, probably five or six. It was definitely fifteen, right like it was. It was one hundred percent fifteen because when you think about the beer I had at home before the taxi came, and then we started on beers and then got to wine and then ended with a nightcap, and we were there for hours and hours, and they were twos and we all bought around, like, so you do the math, but we tell ourselves that it's only a few And so for those people that sit in that space, the what happens is when you don't realize it's an issue, somebody else might realize it for you and call you out on it, and that's always a tricky conversation. And people also really don't like confrontations, So usually people would just sit there and put up with you destroying your brain cells every weekend, and they put up with the misbehaving and the escalation of craziness that happens.

34:58 Because I feel like drinking is this slippery slope where. You start off and it's super manageable and it is only on Friday nights and you don't really get that hungover, and it ends up in this thing that you have to do every single day just to cope with your life, and that happens so scarily steadily that you don't even realize it. And for me, it was like I woke up in twenty fourteen and was like, whoa girlfriend, you have an issue here? How do we get here? How the hell did we even get here? Like I don't even remember, don't I don't remember becoming this person, but I am this person now. So for those people who don't think they drink too much, that it's for them to figure out. And again, so with the social rebellion, I guess my question is not just for people who think they drink too much.

35:58 My question is for everybody. So for every single person, ask yourself the question, am I drinking a bit too much and a bit too often? And what can I do about that? Or how is my relationship with alcohol? So not how many drinks that I have? And is that socially acceptable? Because what's socially acceptable is so bad for us. It is so unhealthy, it's detrimental. It like alcohol literally kills our brain cells. Do people not realize this. And gives us cancer. It's a known carcynogen neurotoxin. If you have as a woman, I don't know the exact number, but it's not much wine per week, your chance of getting breast cancer increases by forty percent, not four percent, which is still bad because nobody wants cancer.

36:47 But you're so you're dabbling with this stuff that is killing your insides, killing your brain cells. It's the reason why. You feel like you can do things that you don't do when you're so when you're drunk is. Because it stops your brain working. So when your brain. Doesn't work, you do things like take all your clothes off and jump in the pool at the boss's house, which you wouldn't do at ten thirty in the morning at a staff meeting. And there's a reason that you don't do it during the day is because your brain is working. And then you have half a dozen drinks and all of a sudden you're doing all this madness. And that's because your brain stopped working. Guys, that's what alcohol is doing to us. That's why we do silly things, and that's why people die. Yeah, like the number of lives that would be lost from somebody being too drunk.

37:38 See six thousand every year, terrifying and one hundred and forty four thousand hospitalizations every year terrorf alcohol related. I read that before we chatted. Good good memory. Good. See you haven't had your but to get to get that. I'm gonna before we leave, I'm going to ask for your tips for anybody listening. But also I just want to say, even if you're not jumping in the pool with your clothes on at the boss's party. For a lot of women, it's just not being quite fully present when they put their kids to bed, you know, it's still being a bit shady in the morning on the school drop off. It's you know, like it's that day to day. It's not bringing your A game to anything in your life, parenting, work, relationships, anything.

38:24 And what I realized to Cass is that when so I thought I was doing okay, like I really did, and even though I was like, oh, I think I drink too much to offer I'm not really sure how to go on melt with, but I'm going I can. I'm still showing up to work, I'm still kicking. But at my career, like I was doing okay, what I realized after I'd given up drinking is that I was probably running at about sixty percent of my capacity. And when you start running at about I'm going to say I'm running at about ninety percent now because I feel like there's more improvement to do and more empowerment to have. No one wants to give themselves a ten out, Let's be honest, but that difference is huge and you don't realize it because when you just run at sixty percent you think I'm going full throttle and I'm killing it, and let me tell you are not. And when those lights go on in that room or you start seeing color for the first time in a long time, it is a It's another beautiful addiction because now I don't want to not be present. I don't want to miss out on a second of this life with a haze, with a hangover, with a fuzziness, or I don't want to lose another memory.

39:32 I don't want to lose another night. I don't want to. Lose another wallet. Like I am so down with this way of living. And I feel like everyone will love it if they decide to go on the journey to get where I'm doing my life from right now. But again that's it's up to everybody. And you can't tell you can lead a horse to water, you can lead a girl to a bar out of a bar. Can you tell us? So our listeners who are now thinking, no, this is this, yep, I need to I need to take a cheeky month off alcohol and see where that leads me. What's your advice for anybody in those early stages the cravings hit, you know, there's pressure to drink there came a catch up for drinks.

40:16 How do they manage? So first of all, I would encourage everyone, even if you think your relationship with alcohol is on point, to take a month off. And the reason I say that. Is because if your relationship with alcohol is on point, you should be able to have a month off and it should be easy, peasy. So everyone should do this. Everyone should do thirty one days away from alcohol. And in my book The Social Rebellion, I actually do a daily guide, so each day there is something to read and there's something to do. And I feel like when we do the physical, it gets into our spirit and into our body and it helps us along the road.

40:56 So there's something to read and then there's something to do every day. In the first seventy two hours is your body's detoxing. Even if you don't drink a lot, you're still because alcohol is a poison. When you put it into your body, every other system in your body stops working, and then your body tries to get the poison out. That's why we throw up when we drink too much. It's why you break the seal. You can't stop wing. It's your body expelling poison from itself. But after seventy two hours, your body has done that, and then your body is going to crave that thing again, because especially in that pleasure center in your brain, if you associate alcohol with good times, your body just your brain is like, give me the good times, give me the good time. So you kind of send your body into this really like scary space where you probably feel a bit lightheaded for a few days when you're not drinking alcohol. But that's just your body recalibrating normal because you've stuffed up what normal is.

41:53 That's right. So those cravings so because there's so much sugar in alcohol as well, Like I just used to smash a maxibon every night and I would just I'd eat sugar. That was my thing. I'm like, I am just craving sugar and I better to have a Snickers. Than a tequila, you know. And but obviously that can only last for so long, because then you've got another problem, you become OBEs. But I think in those initial stages, I think you just give your body that, like the sugar or whatever it needs to or just get on the soda water and just flush it all out. Once you've flushed it all out physically, then you can start doing different things. So instead of having wine, have a soda water or soda water with lime is what I've always had.

42:41 But now there's loads of options. They've got seed lip, which is a non alcoholic. Gin. It's fermented from peas and it makes you feel it feels like you're drinking alcohol, but it's one hundred percent alcohol freeze. There's a few brands on the market. I got into kombucha, so to make you my kombucha, and it's a bit fizzy, it's good. It's good, all that good probiotic junk that you need in your body for your gut. So you know, there's loads of options. You just have to just be creative with it, I think when it comes to cravings. But point is everyone to take thirty one days away from alcohol because if you're not in a good place with alcohol and you think you are, you'll figure it out. If you're not in a good place with alcohol and you know you are, you'll figure it out, and that's better for everyone, especially you.

43:29 Maz Thanks so much for your time today. I really appreciate it. For anybody. One last thing, for anybody who takes the challenge, takes a break from alcohol. Can you tell them for you roughly, how long before you really feel like you broke the habit, like it stopped being an issue for you, those cravings kind of didn't show themselves anymore. Because that's a big question for a lot of people. Yeah, I think it would be different for everybody. But physically, physically the cravings go in a couple of days really, and then it becomes a mental game and then it's just getting mentally fit. So for me, it was about day twenty. Three where like I really really had this complete life transformation moment. As I said earlier, it felt like somebody switched the lights on in the room and that was my AHA moment to quote Oprah, and I am. I am a transformed person by the renewing of my mind.

44:24 And I'm doing this thing now for a different reason than what I started twenty three days ago. And for some people it might not be that in your face. It might just be all of a sudden, you wake up and you haven't had a drink for twelve months because it was no biggie, but you feel better for it, So it is. It's something to commit to. But as I said, like when you simplify. I don't think it's about willpower. I really don't, and I don't think it's necessarily anything other than discipline and just making it's one choice, that's all. This is really how many choices do you make every day? Make one less of those and make this one. So put your clothes out the night before. And what you're going to wear. Then you wake up in the morning, you don't have to make a choice about what you're wearing. And you can make a choice to not drink alcohol, and that's not going to stuff your brain up with the You know, we've only got a certain amount of decisions we can make every day. It's one choice every day, and it's a good choice to make. So that would be my encouragement is to just go on the journey and see and also let me know how that journey goes, because I love hearing from people that have that.

45:28 Live freely and empowered lives. Now because I've been able to share my story, and thank you for helping me share it too. Thank you for your time. Appreciate it, Mas Pleasure. Maz's book, The Social Rebellion is available in stores, and while Maz doesn't through social media, she does have a website, Mascompton dot net if you would like to go and check her out. My new book, Crappy to Happy Love What You Do is out in all good bookstores, so if you want to find more happy in work, go and check it out. On the next episode, I'm talking to Lucas Patchett, who is one half of the team who found an Orange Sky Laundry. Lucas and I chatted about why he chose to start a charity and why everyone should think about giving back to their community.

46:18 Crappy to Happy is presented by Cash Dunn, produced by Davis Lenski, Audio production by Darcy Thompson. Listener