Transcript
WEBVTT
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A listener production.
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Hi, you're listening to Crappy to Happy and I'm your host,
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Cas Dunn. I'm a clinical and coaching psychologist, mindfulness meditation teacher,
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and author of the Crappy to Happy books.
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In this series, we.
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Look at all the factors that might be making you
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feel crappy and the tools and the techniques that will
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help you overcome them.
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In each episode, I introduce.
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You to interesting, inspiring, intelligent people who are experts in
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their field, and my hope is that they will help
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you go from crappy to happy. In today's episode, I'm
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talking to Taran Brumfort, who is a fiercely passionate woman
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about helping other women stop hating their bodies and learning
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to love the skin they're in. She's the founder of
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the Body Image movement and director of the internationally acclaimed
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Embrace documentary. I was so happy to have the opportunity
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to talk to Taran and to help spread her message
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of self acceptance and self love. If you have ever
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struggled with body image issues, and I know that ninety
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percent of women do, then I think that you were
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going to take something really positive away from this conversation.
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So here she is the wonderful Tarran brumfet tarrant for
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anybody who is not aware of who you are. And
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I think you're you're known globally now, but the backstory
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for you, just briefly, is that back in was it
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twenty thirteen you posted an unlikely or unconventional before and
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after shot.
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Yeah.
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Sure. So after I had my three children, I ended
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up hating my body and I tried to get my
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body back.
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That's what so many women are told.
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To do to get your body back, and I did everything.
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Nothing worked.
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I was going to have surgery and I was going
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to have a breast augmentation and tummy tuck, and I
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booked it in. It was all scheduled, and then I
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had this epiphany, which was, how am I going to
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teach my daughter Mikayla to love her body if I
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can't love mine? And if I have surgery, what will
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that do for the relationship she has with her body?
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And I will say this point, if anyone's listening and you've.
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Had surgery, you have botox, half.
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Of my friends do. There's no room for judgment in
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this body image movement. So it's this is my body,
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They're my choices and your body, your choices. But so
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I canceled the surgery. But I was still plagued with
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the thought what does it feel like to have the
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perfect body? So I said to my trainer at the gym,
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I said, all right, I want a bikini body, and
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she goes, I'll train you enter a bodybuilding competition. I
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was like, I am not doing that, And then before
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I knew it, I was doing it and eating chicken
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and broccoli and training and obsessing and calories in, calories out,
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weighing myself and I got I guess for me, which
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was I guess a near perfect bikini body. And I
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got up on stage in this silver bikini, teeny tiny
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bikini thing and they can only be described as a
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porno shoes, you know, those platform like you need to
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see the picture to really still understand. Yeah, stiletto is
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a little bit more so than that. But got on
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stage and there I was in that body that I
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had wanted my whole life, and all I thought was, Oh,
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this is way too hard. I cannot sustain this lifestyle
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for the rest of my life. So I decided that
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my body was not an ornament. Is the is the
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vehicle to my dreams. It's the vehicle in life. And
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I got off stage and a few months after I
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put the weight back on, and some people had been
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speaking to me, some friends had said, tarring, you've.
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Put weight back on, but you seem so happy. How
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can this be?
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And that was the inspiration for that very sort of
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casual I'll just do a reverse, you know, before and
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after photograph, and it just went crazy viral, didn't it,
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Like over one hundred million views in that first twelve months.
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I mean it was at that stage I was working
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as a photographer, I had three young children. I'd never
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ever done a media interview. It was just life changed
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in that moment.
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And I'm really.
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Grateful that it has because it's given me a platform
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to talk about what is a really important subject for
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lots of women, and to now talk about, you know,
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the practical strategies and how we can move beyond hating
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our body.
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And I'm really curious about when that happened and that
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went global, and I remember that and for a lot
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of people that could have just been well, almost like
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a viral internet sensation that just died overnight, you know,
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was forgotten just as quickly.
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But you just ran with it, didn't you.
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Well, you know that came from a sense of frustration
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as well. I mean, I spent a lot of time
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doing media interviews around the world, TV interviews, and I
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remember getting three or four minutes to talk about my
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story and it was treated like a viral sensation, Internet sensation,
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and it really frustrated me because what people didn't know
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was that I had received over seven thousand emails and
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messages from people all around the world after they saw
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that before and after photograph, sharing their stories of misery
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and heartache and heartbreak about how they felt about their body.
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So I felt this real responsibility, I guess to do
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something with all of that pain and see if we
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can work together and open up conversation and find some solutions.
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So yeah, it was a frustrating time for me. It
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was a new kind of world doing all these media interviews.
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I remember in the beginning, I was so nervous, like
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I can't talk on TV, I can't do this. I
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was nerve racking, right, it just is not my life.
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But I just had to sort of pull my socks
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up and get on with it. And I really love people.
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And that sounds a bit weird, right, I love people,
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but I do I just know, really, I just know
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how it feels to hate your body. And I spent
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years feeling feeling like I was sidelined in my life
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and unable to do a myriad of things because of
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the hatred that I felt. And I guess it's just
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not We don't have to buy into the messages that
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tell us we should be something other than what we are.
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We can choose an alternative.
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So and that's the message I spread now, and it's
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you know, there's this momentum that's gathering of women going Yep, I'm.
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Done with hating my body. I'm going to choose the alternative.
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One thing that I was really intrigued about with your story,
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and I think it's worth talking about, is that you
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first of all, considered surgery, and then you decided, you know,
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for good reasons and for your own reasons, that that
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wasn't an option for you.
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And then you went.
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Down the healthy inverted commace path of clean eating and
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training and bodybuilding and all of that, which often is
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seen as being a really admirable thing to do, to
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be disciplined and train and focus on your health, But
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for you, these were both manifestations of the same thing,
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which is hating your body.
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I think that happens a lot.
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I think that there are people out there who are
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very focused on being fit and healthy, when really that's
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coming from a place not of self love, but of
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on my self punishment, or just a core belief that
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their normal body is not enough. It's not attractive, it's
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not ideal, it's not what they want. How do we
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help people to pull that apart, to recognize where some
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of those so called healthy behaviors may be coming from
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not a healthy place.
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It's funny because the first part of your question I
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was thinking about when I was training for the bodybuilding competition.
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I remember walking through the school yard and having mums
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come up to me and tell me how inspirational I was.
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You're so inspiring.
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And I used to walk away and scratch my head
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and thought, hang on, I'm the same person I was
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twelve months ago.
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I've just lost some weight.
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How messed up is that that now all of a sudden,
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weight losses become inspiring to people. And I actually think
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there's a real lesson in that for all of us,
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that we do not talk about someone's weight loss or
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weight gain ever, it's not something that we should be
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congratulating people on because what happens is we see people
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who go on these transformations, they lose weight. Everyone's like, yay,
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well done you, and we know the cycle. They ninety
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five percent of the time when you diet, you put
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the weight back on. So what happens when that same
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person's walking through the school yard. Are they less inspirational?
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Should they hang their head in shame because they've put
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the weight back on. So I'm always telling people forget
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about weight loss, weight gain. I don't care how many
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kilos you are on the scales. My interaction with you
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is about a conversation. It's about an energy exchange. It's
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about the laughter we share, it's about the times we
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spend together.
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It's got nothing to do with kilos.
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I do think that people we are a little lost
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on their fitness and their health journey. Yeah, because I
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think there's a level of obsession that's now there's a
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layer of this obsession that's added to wanting to be
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healthy and fit. There's nothing wrong with having goals and
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there's nothing wrong with saying, yeah, I want to have
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lots of energy. So my kids have to keep up
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with me, or I want to run a marathon. I
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say that because I've just announced yesterday I'm running a marathon.
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So I'm trying to get my head around actually saying
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the words I'm running a marathon.
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I saw that on social media. Oh we'll get to that.
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Yeah, Oh do we have to. I'm very excited.
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I think we can have these goals, but we need
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to really sit in the space of how we feel
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about the level of obsession and the amount of time
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we spend thinking about.
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Say, how a particular part of our body looks.
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Yes, let's talk about that. When you talk about the
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amount of time we spend obsessing about how we look.
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You know, I've seen some research that says ninety percent
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of women across every age group. This was a US
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study that came out where they looked at women who,
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you know, what your current body type is, what you
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perceive it to be, and what your preferred body type is,
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and ninety percent from the age I think it was
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from fifteen up till eighty had a vast significant discrepancy
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between their current body type and their preferred body type.
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And so what that does, which you know as well
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as anybody, is that it takes all of this energy
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and mental energy away from all of the other things
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that we could be doing in life to bring us joy.
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Yeah, that's right, it's and it's it is. It is
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wasted energy.
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And I sometimes think about all of that collective energy,
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and especially being a woman in twenty nineteen. I mean,
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what are year twenty and eighteen was? And we haven't
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even really hit our straps yet because so many of
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us as so yes, let's rise up, let's stand up,
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let's use our voices, let's disrupt, let's do all this.
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But on the side going oh god, I hate by
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Selly Lighton, I'm going to put this cream on my
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face to take away the lines on my face.
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You know.
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So we've got a long way to go.
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But I'm actually really excited by all of that energy
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that we've wasted because there is an alternative. And I
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think this is one of the things that people in
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my experience over the last six years have found. The
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best outcome of embracing your body is having this energy,
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is having that mental energy and clarity, and it allows
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you to pursue other goals. And that's what we're here
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to do. We're here to enjoy our bodies. We're not
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meant to spend our life at war with our bodies.
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And I think we've just forgotten it. I think we've
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just gone so far down the road and we're kind
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of all looking at each other, going, well.
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This is not fun. Hating our bodies doesn't feel very good,
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does it?
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And now we're going let's backtrack and let's head on
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the path that we were always meant.
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To be on.
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I always say, though to women, and I know that
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you probably have the same message that if you feel