Oct. 18, 2020

Happy and other ridiculous aspirations with Turia Pitt

Happy and other ridiculous aspirations with Turia Pitt
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Happy and other ridiculous aspirations with Turia Pitt
Happy and other ridiculous aspirations with Turia Pitt
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Season 6 Mindset Psychology & Neuroscience Positive Psychology

Cass Dunn catches up with Turia Pitt for the second time - in this chat they discuss everything Turia has learned about happiness while researching her latest book, "Happy and Other Ridiculous Aspirations". Turia's own upbeat attitude is evidence that happiness really is a choice, no matter what challenges we face but now she's able to share the specific tools she uses to maintain a positive mindset, what the research says about how much control we have over our mood and what she's learned from other exceptionally happy humans.You can buy Turia's book Happy and Other Ridiculous Aspirations here.
www.turiapitt.com
Connect with Cass:www.crappytohappypod.comhello@crappytohappypod.com 
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypodwww.tiktok.com/crappytohappypod
Join the free 7-day Happiness Challenge:www.cassdunn.com/happiness


Connect with Cass:

www.cassdunn.com
www.instagram.com/cassdunn_xo

Contact Crappy to Happy:

Email: hello@crappytohappypod.com
www.crappytohappypod.com
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypod
www.tiktok.com/@crappytohappypod


Are you a coach, therapist, service provider or solopreneur struggling with self-doubt and imposter syndrome? I'd love to talk to you! (for market research purposes only!)

Book a call with me to share your experience.

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Transcript
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A listener production. Hello and welcome back to Crappy to Happy.

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I am your host, Casdunn. I'm a clinical and coaching psychologist,

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a mindfulness meditation teacher and author of the Crappy to

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Have You books. I am so excited to be bringing new,

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brand new episodes of the show. As always, Thank you

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for listening. Thank you for all of your positive feedback

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on previous episodes, and please do give us a rating

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and a review on Apple Podcasts or the podcast one

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Australia app. If you enjoy the show, send me your

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comments hello at casdone dot com or send me a

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dm over on Instagram. I do read and appreciate all

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of your messages. Now a lot has changed since I

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was last in the studio. I'm now coming to you

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from my home and I'm chatting with my guests by

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video link because that's what we do. In twenty twenty,

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we're not able to be in the same state, let

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alone in the same room. Here in Australia and around

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the world. We've all been affected in different ways by

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the coronavirus pandemic, and I really think that now more

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than ever, we are in need of inspiration and real

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advice about how we can maintain our positivity, boost our

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emotional resilience, cope with uncertainty, and stay optimistic in these

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challenging times. With that being the case, rather than releasing

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ten episodes at a time going forward, we'll be bringing

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you a brand new episode every fortnight. And I am

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thrilled to say that we have an incredible lineup of

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guests who are generously sharing their wisdom with me and

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with you so that we can all feel a little

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bit less crappy and more happy to kick things off.

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I am bringing you back one of our most popular

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guests from previous seasons to rear Pit. She needs no

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introduction here in Australia, but if you are one of

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our many international listeners. Was caught in a grass fire

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while competing in an ultra marathon in twenty and eleven.

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She sustained full thickness burns to sixty five percent of

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her body, and not only did she beat the odds

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by surviving and learning to walk again, she went on

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to compete in two Iron Man competitions, including the World

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Championships in Hawaii. She is now the mother of two

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beautiful boys. She's written multiple best selling books, including her

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latest Happy and other Ridiculous Aspirations. She's a humanitarian and

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she is an all round fabulous, smart, funny woman. We

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all want to be her friend, and I could not

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resist the opportunity to talk to her about what she's

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learned and experienced about what it makes to be truly happy.

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Here's Churia. Churia, thank you so much for coming back

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on to the Crappy to Happy podcast. You are our

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first ever repeat guest. Yes, and the last time you

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came onto the show, obviously, lie listeners loved what you

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had to say. And it's a crazy time. A lot

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has happened since the last time I spoke with you.

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You've had a baby, the whole world has changed, and

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you've put out this book called Happy and I'm Holding

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it Up and other Ridiculous Aspirations, which is such a

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perfect time for this book. So I was really keen

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to get you back in and have a chat about

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all things happiness.

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Awesome. Okay, I think I'm ready for it.

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So let's just dive straight in. Chrey, you wrote this book.

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Like I said, it is a really great time for

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this book because we are going through such a challenging time.

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It's an amazing book too. I have been reading it.

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But you started writing this book kind of pre COVID,

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pre fires, pre all of the tragedy that we've experienced

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this year. I'm just curious to know, like, what inspired

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you to want to write a book about happiness?

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Well, you see, cas, I can predict the future, so

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I knew that this year would be a really hard

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time for a lot of people. So I knew I

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just had to get a book out there in time.

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The book, I get asked a lot of questions from people,

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like through emails and through social media and stuff. And

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one of the main couple of questions I get is

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how am I so happy? And how am I so

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happy given everything that I've been through? And when I

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checked in with myself, I kind of realized I was

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just as happy as I was before the fire, if

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not happier. And I thought that was really interesting that

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someone should go through a life changing, catastrophic experience and

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come out the other side just as happy as ever.

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So I started doing some research. I read a lot

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of really cool papers. Sonia Live and Mescue. I'm sure

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you know of her cash, but she was one of

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the original researchers who determined the happiness pie chart. And

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there's a quote out there. I'm not sure if you've

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heard of it not or not, but fifty percent of

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our happiness is predetermined by our genes, right, so how

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happy we can actually be? Kind of restricted by our genes.

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Then forty percent, though we can influence or we can

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change by our intentional activities. So things like practicing gratitude,

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being kind to someone else, savoring the smaller moments, working

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towards things that are meaningful for us, all of those

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things you can do to actually make yourself happier. And

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there's only a really small to ten percent that is

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attributed to our life circumstances. So that means whether you

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win the lottery or you lose your leg in a

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car crash, after a couple of years, you'll reach an

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equilibrium of your happiness set point. And you're not in

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your head because I know that you know you would

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probably know this, But when I read that paper, I

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thought it was really fascinating.

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Oh, it is fascinating. And yeah, the reason I'm lodding

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my head and I'm smiling is because I was actually

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going to mention that exact same research that you just

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mentioned about whether you win the lottery or you come

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out you know, a pair of that you come back

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to this set point, and which is clearly like it

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clearly demonstrates that if you're looking outside of us for

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our external circumstances to change in order to feel happier,

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than we're looking in the wrong place. And I was really,

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I guess, intrigued by what you just said about the

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fact that you didn't just come back to your happiness

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kind of baseline set point, you actually feel like you

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are potentially even happier. What do you put that down to.

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I think it's because, like when I had my accident,

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I was a lot younger, I was twenty four, and

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I was personally always focused on achieving things and doing

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things and doing really great things, and I never stopped

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to reflect on the awesome things that I did. I

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never stopped to think about all of the people in

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my life that I was grateful for. I never stopped

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to think about all the incredible opportunities I had and

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all of the privilege privileges that were bestowt on me,

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you know, as a product of growing up in Australia

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and living in this real awesome country of ours. So

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I think, you know, a key difference is like these days,

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when I start my warnings, I start them by thinking

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of three things that I'm genuinely grateful for. And Old

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Tree would have never have done that. She would have

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been like, well, that's a lot of rubbish. Like if

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I'm grateful, that means I'm not you know, striving, and

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I'm not achieving, and I don't want to do more

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with my life. So I think it's that I am

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more conscious of this incredible journey that we call life.

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I am accepting of the fact that part of happiness

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is that I may not be happy every single day.

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I may have days where I might be stressed, tired, cranky, disappointed, hurt,

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and that all of those emotions are perfectly valid and

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a part of the human experience. And so I think

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all of those things I've kind of learned over the

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past decade, and I think that's what helps me to

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be happier than I was before the fire.

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So it's been a real shift in perspective, I guess.

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And it sounds like almost a shift in values, would

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you say, I think.

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So, And like, I think also that comes with age

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as well, you know, like I'm ten years older, I've

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got kids. The focus is no longer just on me.

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It's about these two little humans in my life. Yeah.

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I think it's a whole host of different things. It's

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things I've learned along the way. It was writing this

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book that made me understand a lot of this stuff

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a little bit more. And then just getting older and

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becoming a bit more mature and a bit wiser, and

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also giving less flucks as well, which is a really no,

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it's really it's a really cool thing about getting older.

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No one tells you that when you're young, but like

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the older I get, I seem to be like caring

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less about what other people think, which I think is

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really really awesome.

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I think it is too, and I think that you

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have potentially got to that point even quicker than what

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some people do. Like I think some people get to

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their forties and fifties is before they realize they can

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give less fucks. So as obviously, as a result of

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your own experience and what you've been through and as

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you say, just maturity, than you've perhaps got there more

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quickly than other people. I was interested that when I mean,

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you start off the book saying, who am I to

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talk about happiness. I'm not a psychologist, I'm not an expert.

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I think a lot of people would consider you to

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be very qualified based on what you've been through, the

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fact that you were a living, breathing example of somebody

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who has come through a tragedy and still is able

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to see the positive and make the best of it.

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Having said that, you did go out and back it

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all up with research, and you interviewed a whole lot

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of people, and really interesting people too, And I'm just

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curious to know, as you gathered up that information and

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you did your research and you talk to these people,

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what was it that you realized you had been doing

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right without perhaps necessarily even knowing that it was the

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right thing, or that there was the research there to

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it up. And I guess also part B, what did

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you realize that you could be doing that you maybe

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weren't okay?

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So part A of that question, like, I've always known

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that our relationships are really important. But having said that,

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you know, it is hard for us to stop what

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we're doing with ourselves and our own lives and try

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and prioritize our relationships and try and you know, do

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something for our partners or being more present with our kids,

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or drop over our meal to a friend who's you know,

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going through cancer or whatever. So even though I knew

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that relationships were really important, they also felt like something

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that I could get to when I was done with

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what I was doing right now. And I spect to

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Milky Wayking, he's the CEO of the Happiness Research Institute

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in Denmark, Like, how cool is it that they even

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have a happiness research institute, And he really emphasized the

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importance of relationships, of investing in our relationships, and you know,

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he had a really good example. If you cast, if

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you think about like one of the happiest days of

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your life, can you just tell me a little bit

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about that for a second.

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Oh well, I guess maybe my wedding, my daughter being born,

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you know.

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Yeah, okay, So those events, all of those there was

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other people in them. And I found that a really

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powerful example, because our happiest memories in life, the times

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when we feel the best, is when we're with other people.

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So I found that really interesting and that really made

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me change how I did things in my life and

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also really made me reprioritize how I was spending my time.

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Things that I didn't do before reading the book, Like

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I'm not a saint. There's still heaps of stuff that

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I put in the book that I try to do,

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but some days I don't. And one of the things

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was making your bed. And my partner is a massive

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advocate for making a bed, and I was I was like,

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it's such a waste of time. You're literally just gonna

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hop back in it at night, Like why would you

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even bother? But making your bed is like this keystone

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habit that we have, and the thinking is like, if

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you can make your bed, then maybe you can drink

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two letters of water. And then if you can drink

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two letters of water, maybe you can go to the gym.

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And if you can go to the gym, maybe you

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can eat a healthier dinner. So it's like this real

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starting point in your day where if you started off right,

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then hopefully the rest of the day pans out really well.

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I like that, do you make your bed? Do you

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make your bed?

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If you call just you know, pulling the dinner up,

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making the bed. Yeah, there's no hospital corners.

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Or anything like that. Not at no, I'm just after

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progress and not perfection. I just like pull the doner

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back and like chuckle the pillows on. It's still but

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it actually makes me feel better, like seeing that my

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bed is made.

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There's a lot too that I think. I know a

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lot of people talk about that making the bed, just

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being starting the day off right psychologically, And you're right,

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are you? Like it's it's just those little tiny things,

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tiny habits that can just kick off a chain of

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positive behavior. I'm curious to just go back to what

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you said about not being happy all the time. I

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think that's important to cover when we're all talking about happiness,

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and you know, I think sometimes we have there are

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people who have a misconception. Perhaps could you talk to

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that a bit about that it is not about being

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happy all the time.

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Yeah, totally. Like, for sure, there's a perception that if

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you're not happy and excited and enthusiastic, that maybe there's

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something wrong with you, that maybe you're not doing whatever

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whatever it is that you're doing, you're not doing it right.

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So I think there's definitely that perception. I think also

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feeling a bitter, envious, jealous, angry, they're not really comfortable feelings.

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So obviously, if we could have it our own way,

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we'd love to be happy every day, and we'd love

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to be excited and we'd love to be motivated all

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the time, but life doesn't work like that. And I

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think when we can drop that bullshit facade that everything's

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okay and everything's fine, and really just accept and acknowledge

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how we are actually feeling, whether that's stressed or annoyed,

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or irritated or disappointed, and we just allow ourselves to

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just sit in that feeling, as uncomfortable as it may be.

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I find in my experience that feeling dissipates tends to

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dissipate a lot quicker than if I just lie to

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myself and say no, no, no, I'm fine, everything's fine, It's

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all going to be fine. Yeah. So I think just

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really acknowledging, acknowledging how we're feeling, and understanding that it's

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actually okay to not feel good all of the time.

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It's part of being human.

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Yeah, And I think just to that point, you know,

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a lot of when we think that we need to

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feel good all of the time, it can often lead

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to those quick, fixed kind of behaviors. I guess we

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go reach for having a glass of wine to take

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off the stress or comfort eating and then those things

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can become problematic in themselves, and I was curious to

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see that in your book you actually talk about food, right,

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what we eat. I don't think that's been covered a

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lot in the happiness books that are out there, that

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link between what we are consuming and how we're how

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we nourish ourselves, and the effect that has on our

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mental health and our psychological state.

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Oh, I think it has a massive, massive impact. Like

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if you're eating shit food and you're not moving your

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body and you're not sleeping on enough, you'll feel like shit.

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You know what I mean. You don't need a scientist

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to tell you that. Everyone will know that in themselves.

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But I think if you are taking the time to

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exercise whatever exercise you like, whether you like walking, whether

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you like roller skating, eating well and eating good foods

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that are good for us, and trying to get enough sleep,

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when you do those three things, as boring as they

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sound to do, they don't sound very exciting. But if

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you try and do those things, you will feel more

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emotionally resilient, and I think you'll feel like you have

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more control over your day, and I think you'll be

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better equipped to deal with the inevitable stepbacks that life

303
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throws away. So whenever I know, whenever I feel stressed

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or angry or irritated or annoyed, like I'll accept that feeling.

305
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I'll acknowledge it, and then I'll try and do things

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that make me feel better and better in the long term.

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So like a glass of one does make me feel better,

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but I might not feel better the next day, so

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I'll try to. I know, if I go for a run,

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I'll come home and I'll feel clear headed, I'll feel energized,

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I'll be in doorphins pumping through my body, and I'll

312
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feel like, Okay, right now I can think about this

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problem that I'm facing, or now I can work my

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way through this challenge. Yeah, healthy code, Yeah yeah, But

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00:17:01.279 --> 00:17:03.000
it's like it's the first thing to go out the window,

316
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right whenever we get stressed, Oh of course, And I

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think whenever we are I feel like we are really

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stuck in a state of despair or we're feeling really

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lethargic and like we can't get out of bed to

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kind of check in with ourselves and just think, okay, well,

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what's one thing I could do that I know is

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going to make me feel better. Maybe I could make

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myself a really nice on what this morning. Maybe I

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can go and sit on the balcony and get some

325
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funder me and drink my cup of tea without my

326
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phone in my hand. Maybe I could text a girlfriend

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and we can go for a walk together around the block.

328
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Not so much driving for that cheesel six pack, push

329
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ups and chin ups down the beach in front of everyone.

330
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But we're just looking to doing those things, those acts

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of self care that we know are going to make

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us feel better about ourselves.

333
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Chharia, you spoke to a whole lot of people in

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this book and get up their take on happiness. I

335
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guess did you find any common threads through all of those?

336
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So we're talking about people like you talk to doctor Libby,

337
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Zoe Foster Blake, Mick Fanning, your friend Kate. I wanted

338
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to get to her who went through the fire with you.

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Was there anything that was common amongst all of those

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in terms of their take on happiness.

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I think all of them understood in some way their

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fragility of life. So they were all really aware that

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our time on earth is not a given, and it's

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something that we shouldn't take for granted, and all of them,

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in various forms, were all really grateful for the life

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that they had. And I found that really interesting because

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you've got people I interviewed, people like, you know, Zoe

348
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Foster Blake, who is a you know, has launched he

349
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owned realty brand. And then we've got Mick Fanning, who's

350
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three times World surf But then we've got people like

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Kate Sanderson, the other woman who was with me in

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the fire, Lee Sales, the anchor of the seven thirty Report,

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and then Edie Jack who the Holocaust survivor. He's actually

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written a recent book as well, The Happiest Man on Earth,

355
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which is a really really incredible read. So they all

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had a sense of that life is fragile and it's

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not a given, but also a sense of gratitude for

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the life that they had, which I thought was really interesting.

359
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And one thing that I picked up to is, and

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I haven't finished reading the whole book, but just from

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the few that I did read, that they all seem

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to have just some sense of purpose or some sense

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of meaning. And we often talk about like having a

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sense of meaning in life, like a meaningful goals, But

365
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then what do you say to people who get hung

366
00:19:33.319 --> 00:19:35.240
up on well, I don't know what my purpose is?

367
00:19:35.480 --> 00:19:38.480
Oh yeah, yeah, can we talk about that? Yeah? Yeah, yeah.

368
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I mean I feel like we really just need to

369
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take the pressure off ourselves, because like, if you ask

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me what my purpose is, I'd be like, oh, fuck,

371
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actually I don't know. Like, I like what I do

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for work. I love writing, I like speaking to people

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like you. I like creating good content that people like.

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But yeah, I don't know if if someone said to me, like,

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what my life purpose, I'd kind of get bogged down

376
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in that the heavy weight of that question. So rather

377
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than you know, asking yourself what your purpose is, I

378
00:20:08.599 --> 00:20:11.359
reckon just go with things like, well, what do you

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like to do, what are you interested in? What are

380
00:20:13.559 --> 00:20:15.279
you more curious about, what do you want to learn

381
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more about? And just go from there, because I think

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people who do live meaningful lives or lives full of

383
00:20:22.079 --> 00:20:26.000
purpose just follow areas of interest and areas of passion,

384
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like I'm sure you do, cash, and it all just

385
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builds from there.

386
00:20:30.480 --> 00:20:32.680
Yeah exactly, Yeah, And I love I think I think

387
00:20:32.680 --> 00:20:36.000
it's Liz Gilbert who first came out maybe a few

388
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years ago talking about just follow your curiosity. Yeah, and

389
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I think that's such sound advice because people do feel

390
00:20:43.000 --> 00:20:46.119
that pressure to follow your passion, follow your purpose, and

391
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they go, well, I don't know what that is.

392
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And like I always find it strained, Like does that

393
00:20:50.519 --> 00:20:53.400
mean we only have one purpose in life? Like I

394
00:20:53.480 --> 00:20:55.440
have to find just one and name it, and then

395
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I just have to embody that and be that for

396
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the rest of my life. Like what if I want

397
00:20:59.519 --> 00:21:02.279
to change mye or if I do that one thing

398
00:21:02.319 --> 00:21:03.960
for ten years and then I decided I don't want

399
00:21:03.960 --> 00:21:06.000
to do it anymore, Like does that mean I can't

400
00:21:06.119 --> 00:21:09.839
change it? So I think rather than asking ourselves our

401
00:21:09.880 --> 00:21:13.799
purpose and all of the gravity that comes with answering

402
00:21:13.839 --> 00:21:17.400
that question, just again, like Liz Gilbert says, follow whatever

403
00:21:17.400 --> 00:21:19.880
you're curious and or follow whatever you want to learn

404
00:21:19.880 --> 00:21:22.160
more about or whatever you're interested in.

405
00:21:29.279 --> 00:21:31.839
It is really important. And I know you cover this

406
00:21:31.880 --> 00:21:35.319
as well in the book to have Meaningful Goals, and

407
00:21:35.920 --> 00:21:40.160
Year said before when you were young, you're pursuing achievement,

408
00:21:40.240 --> 00:21:43.279
ambition and career and all of that. Would you say

409
00:21:43.319 --> 00:21:45.759
that your part of what has shifted for you is

410
00:21:45.759 --> 00:21:48.880
the kind of goals that are meaningful to you.

411
00:21:49.599 --> 00:21:54.160
I think I'm still a really ambitious and driven person.

412
00:21:54.279 --> 00:21:58.440
I still really love setting rig goals for myself and

413
00:21:58.480 --> 00:22:01.480
achieving those goals. But I think what I do now

414
00:22:01.839 --> 00:22:07.559
is I am grateful. I'm grateful for for every step

415
00:22:07.599 --> 00:22:10.319
I take on that journey towards that goal. Whereas before

416
00:22:10.920 --> 00:22:12.440
I would have been like, well, hurry up, we haven't

417
00:22:12.440 --> 00:22:14.160
achieved it yet, Like what's wrong with you? Why haven't

418
00:22:14.160 --> 00:22:17.160
you achieved it yet? So I was probably just harsher

419
00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:22.200
harsher with myself, And so now after my experience, I'm

420
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a lot more compassionate with myself. I am more grateful

421
00:22:26.039 --> 00:22:28.240
for every step I take towards the goals. But I

422
00:22:28.279 --> 00:22:32.319
still think I'm just as driven and ambitious as I

423
00:22:32.519 --> 00:22:34.359
was before the fire.

424
00:22:35.200 --> 00:22:39.960
On the flip side, something else that's really fundamental or

425
00:22:40.039 --> 00:22:44.240
important for our happiness is this idea of just having

426
00:22:44.279 --> 00:22:47.480
fun and play. And I think that's really when I

427
00:22:47.559 --> 00:22:51.440
talk about that a lot, and I think it's underrated.

428
00:22:51.519 --> 00:22:54.079
People think, well, in our world that we're supposed to

429
00:22:54.079 --> 00:22:57.599
be productive and busy all of the time. So let's

430
00:22:57.599 --> 00:23:00.680
talk about that then, the importance of actually just having fun.

431
00:23:00.920 --> 00:23:04.799
Yeah, And like I think, especially when you are a

432
00:23:05.480 --> 00:23:08.720
like a mom, it's really hard to prioritize yourself and

433
00:23:08.759 --> 00:23:12.039
then like prioritize yourself to go and have fun. It

434
00:23:12.079 --> 00:23:16.200
seems like a really flippant waste of time. And you know,

435
00:23:16.240 --> 00:23:18.039
there's all of these articles on the internet how to

436
00:23:18.039 --> 00:23:19.960
get more into your day, how to be more productive,

437
00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:22.880
how to triple your productivity, all of these hacks that

438
00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:25.319
you can use to make yourself more productive. And so

439
00:23:26.319 --> 00:23:30.559
when you think about like taking an hour to lie

440
00:23:30.640 --> 00:23:33.240
in the sun and read a book, or taking an

441
00:23:33.240 --> 00:23:35.240
hour to go down for a single for a surf,

442
00:23:36.319 --> 00:23:39.319
it feels kind of wasteful with your time. But I

443
00:23:39.359 --> 00:23:42.279
look at it in the sense as I know in

444
00:23:42.359 --> 00:23:45.759
myself that if I've taken some time for me to

445
00:23:45.839 --> 00:23:49.400
do something for myself, something that I find fun, whether

446
00:23:49.440 --> 00:23:52.039
that's going for a surf, going for a rie, catching

447
00:23:52.119 --> 00:23:56.680
up with girlfriends for lunch, getting a massage, sitting in

448
00:23:56.720 --> 00:24:00.160
the sun, bouncing with my kids on the trampoline. When

449
00:24:00.200 --> 00:24:02.720
I take time to do that sort of stuff, I

450
00:24:02.880 --> 00:24:07.599
feel better. I feel happier, and I feel more energized.

451
00:24:07.640 --> 00:24:09.960
And I think in our world, like there's so much

452
00:24:09.960 --> 00:24:13.640
shit out there that makes us feel bad about ourselves already.

453
00:24:14.079 --> 00:24:15.720
So I think if we really just try and take

454
00:24:15.799 --> 00:24:20.079
that time for ourselves to have fun, we'll actually enjoy

455
00:24:20.480 --> 00:24:22.319
enjoy our day a lot more, and we'll enjoy our

456
00:24:22.359 --> 00:24:24.920
lives a lot more. When I think about taking a

457
00:24:24.920 --> 00:24:27.279
little bit time out for fun as well, is it

458
00:24:27.319 --> 00:24:30.960
actually makes you more productive because you've had that, You've

459
00:24:31.000 --> 00:24:33.079
had that metime. You're not sitting down at your desk

460
00:24:33.720 --> 00:24:35.519
resenting the work that you're doing. You're not with your

461
00:24:35.559 --> 00:24:39.680
family feeling like you haven't gotten a break from them.

462
00:24:40.200 --> 00:24:42.519
I think it really does make you more present and

463
00:24:42.680 --> 00:24:44.079
enjoy your life a lot more.

464
00:24:44.400 --> 00:24:47.160
But you know what, even when I know that, and

465
00:24:47.319 --> 00:24:50.000
you're probably the same, like even when we know that,

466
00:24:50.400 --> 00:24:53.440
it's still so easy to get pulled into it. But

467
00:24:53.440 --> 00:24:54.960
I've got more work to do. I've just got to

468
00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:57.200
get this other thing done. We've got to really consciously

469
00:24:57.200 --> 00:25:00.119
pull ourselves out of that busy mide, right.

470
00:25:00.160 --> 00:25:03.240
Yeah, for sure. I mean I've got the work I do.

471
00:25:03.720 --> 00:25:07.240
I find it fun and I find it interesting. Well,

472
00:25:07.279 --> 00:25:09.079
see that's what I mean. So on a Saturday night,

473
00:25:10.599 --> 00:25:12.359
my family will be in bed, and I'll pull out

474
00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:14.599
my laptop and I'll have a glass of wine and

475
00:25:14.640 --> 00:25:16.920
I'll sit down and I'll write and part of me

476
00:25:16.960 --> 00:25:19.559
will feel like a loser because it's a Saturday night, Like,

477
00:25:19.599 --> 00:25:22.039
shouldn't I be out like seeing people and like doing

478
00:25:22.039 --> 00:25:25.279
something fun. But then you've got to remind yourself that

479
00:25:25.400 --> 00:25:27.319
your idea of fun is going to be different from

480
00:25:27.359 --> 00:25:30.759
someone else's idea of fine. And my idea of fun

481
00:25:30.960 --> 00:25:34.799
is genuinely with my computer with a glass of wine,

482
00:25:34.839 --> 00:25:37.680
writing like I really love that stuff, and I think,

483
00:25:38.799 --> 00:25:42.960
I guess it's great that I feel like my work

484
00:25:43.599 --> 00:25:45.599
and what I do for work, I find parts of

485
00:25:45.599 --> 00:25:48.480
it fun. But Liz Gilbert said something else really interesting.

486
00:25:48.519 --> 00:25:52.920
She said, all work involves some kind of shit sandwich,

487
00:25:53.319 --> 00:25:55.799
as in some kind of there's some aspect of your

488
00:25:55.799 --> 00:25:58.400
work that you don't enjoy, And I'm sure your job's

489
00:25:58.400 --> 00:26:00.000
the same cast my job is the same as well.

490
00:26:00.720 --> 00:26:03.839
So some aspects I really enjoy find really fun. Are

491
00:26:03.839 --> 00:26:06.400
the aspects are just like eating a shit sandwich.

492
00:26:06.559 --> 00:26:08.519
Yeah, that's good advice to you, like.

493
00:26:08.519 --> 00:26:09.559
Eat shit sandwiches.

494
00:26:11.240 --> 00:26:13.920
No, we're not going to be having fun all of

495
00:26:14.400 --> 00:26:18.480
the time. I was also interested to talk with you

496
00:26:18.680 --> 00:26:22.119
about like when we experience a tragedy such as you have,

497
00:26:22.880 --> 00:26:25.319
or a trauma, and bearing in mind what the world

498
00:26:25.400 --> 00:26:26.960
is going through at the moment and people are going

499
00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:29.799
through a really tough time. There are some people who

500
00:26:30.440 --> 00:26:33.799
come out of a traumatic experience and are just completely

501
00:26:33.839 --> 00:26:36.000
destroyed by it. And there are some people who come

502
00:26:36.039 --> 00:26:39.359
out of a traumatic experience and who actually experience what

503
00:26:39.400 --> 00:26:43.039
we call post traumatic growth, like they not only survive,

504
00:26:43.119 --> 00:26:46.680
but they really thrive. I think you could be described

505
00:26:46.680 --> 00:26:49.880
as one of those people. And I'm curious to know

506
00:26:50.480 --> 00:26:53.359
what came out of your talking to people and your

507
00:26:53.519 --> 00:26:56.240
research about what is it that makes the difference? Do

508
00:26:56.279 --> 00:26:58.720
you think way is it that some people do fare

509
00:26:58.759 --> 00:27:00.359
so much better than others.

510
00:27:00.640 --> 00:27:03.400
I think it's a combination of reasons, like, for example,

511
00:27:03.480 --> 00:27:07.359
having strong support around you. So I was lucky in

512
00:27:07.359 --> 00:27:10.880
a sense because I had my friends and family and

513
00:27:10.920 --> 00:27:13.680
the medical team that I got given were all brilliant.

514
00:27:13.759 --> 00:27:16.240
They really rallied around me, so I had that support.

515
00:27:16.319 --> 00:27:19.720
I think you well, I think it's very rare to

516
00:27:19.759 --> 00:27:23.720
get through anything, particularly some kind of traumatic event, if

517
00:27:23.720 --> 00:27:26.519
you don't have people in your corner, people supporting you.

518
00:27:26.920 --> 00:27:29.759
So I think that definitely was one thing I think

519
00:27:29.759 --> 00:27:32.240
for me, I saw a psychologist every week for about

520
00:27:32.240 --> 00:27:35.799
two years. I think she was instrumental in my recovery.

521
00:27:36.920 --> 00:27:40.799
I think mental health has really been destigmatized somewhat, but

522
00:27:40.880 --> 00:27:42.680
I still think we've got a long way to go.

523
00:27:43.279 --> 00:27:47.000
And I think, you know, if our car needs fixing,

524
00:27:47.039 --> 00:27:48.960
we take it to a mechanic. If we want to

525
00:27:48.960 --> 00:27:52.200
get our eyebrows waxed, we go to a beautician. And

526
00:27:52.279 --> 00:27:54.720
I think if we're dealing with something, if we're dealing

527
00:27:54.759 --> 00:27:59.640
with whether it's we've got some kind of emotional turnohile,

528
00:27:59.759 --> 00:28:02.440
or you've been through some kind of trauma, like to

529
00:28:02.480 --> 00:28:05.960
go and see someone, go and seek professional help, see

530
00:28:05.960 --> 00:28:09.880
accounselor see a psychologist. There's some amazing support services out

531
00:28:09.920 --> 00:28:14.759
there like Beyond Blue and Lifeline, and there's a whole

532
00:28:14.799 --> 00:28:18.480
chapter in this book on getting through hard times. But

533
00:28:18.519 --> 00:28:21.960
there was some really interesting research done by a guy

534
00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:26.640
named his surname was Penny Baker. He had this idea

535
00:28:26.759 --> 00:28:31.480
that if you start writing down your thoughts and feelings

536
00:28:31.519 --> 00:28:34.960
about what happened to you, you just do it for

537
00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:37.759
fifteen minutes. I think, over the course of a week,

538
00:28:39.000 --> 00:28:42.920
that will help you feel better and that will help

539
00:28:42.960 --> 00:28:46.680
you try and find the reasoning of the rationale for

540
00:28:47.319 --> 00:28:49.400
you went through. And I can't remember what he called

541
00:28:49.400 --> 00:28:53.680
that technique, but the book was called expressive writing. So

542
00:28:53.759 --> 00:28:56.599
I was also doing that, even though at the time

543
00:28:56.880 --> 00:29:00.240
I didn't realize that that was an actual technique. I

544
00:29:00.279 --> 00:29:03.240
was just writing because I like writing. I was just

545
00:29:03.319 --> 00:29:07.000
writing down my thoughts and feelings, trying to process my

546
00:29:07.119 --> 00:29:09.599
experience and what happened to me. So I think that

547
00:29:09.799 --> 00:29:11.519
as well, that really helped me.

548
00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:16.440
That Pennybaker approach, the Pennybaker protocol. I've heard it called.

549
00:29:16.880 --> 00:29:20.240
I've only come across that research in the last little

550
00:29:20.240 --> 00:29:23.759
while couple of years, say myself, and it's fascinating. It

551
00:29:23.839 --> 00:29:24.720
is fascinating.

552
00:29:24.920 --> 00:29:26.319
Yeah, it's cool, isn't it.

553
00:29:26.440 --> 00:29:29.079
Yeah, So for four days, it's like for four days,

554
00:29:29.079 --> 00:29:32.759
for twenty minutes, and if you just write your thoughts

555
00:29:32.759 --> 00:29:36.039
and feelings about this, whether it's a trauma or something

556
00:29:36.079 --> 00:29:39.279
you're struggling with, an emotional upheaval. And I actually started

557
00:29:39.319 --> 00:29:41.680
getting some of my clients to do that, and they do.

558
00:29:41.839 --> 00:29:44.400
They say, like, there is a shift, there is a

559
00:29:44.440 --> 00:29:47.799
distinct shift, and then down the track, like the research

560
00:29:47.839 --> 00:29:49.640
bears it out that you know, seven or eight months later,

561
00:29:49.759 --> 00:29:53.079
people are in a whole different place emotionally and their

562
00:29:53.119 --> 00:29:55.720
perspective is shifted and they can make meaning of the

563
00:29:56.519 --> 00:29:59.640
event just from doing four days, and it's so like

564
00:30:00.039 --> 00:30:02.000
manageable for people. That's what I love about it.

565
00:30:02.119 --> 00:30:06.160
Yeah, like anyone can sit down and just you know, right,

566
00:30:06.240 --> 00:30:08.119
And it doesn't have to be something that's going to

567
00:30:08.200 --> 00:30:12.480
win a Pulitzer Prize. It doesn't need to make sense drammatically.

568
00:30:12.839 --> 00:30:15.839
It can have spelling mistakes. I think the main idea

569
00:30:15.920 --> 00:30:18.759
is like, so often we just get stuck in our heads.

570
00:30:19.240 --> 00:30:22.960
We've got all of this shit just swirling around, and

571
00:30:23.000 --> 00:30:25.960
it's really hard for us to make sense of that

572
00:30:26.079 --> 00:30:28.359
noise in our heads. And I think it's so beneficial

573
00:30:28.400 --> 00:30:31.079
for us to get it out of our heads onto paper.

574
00:30:31.480 --> 00:30:34.039
I think that really helps us think about it a

575
00:30:34.079 --> 00:30:37.559
lot more clearly. But oh yeah, I didn't know about

576
00:30:37.559 --> 00:30:40.160
this research until I started writing this book, and I

577
00:30:40.319 --> 00:30:42.960
found it fascinating. Yeah, and it's so cool that you've

578
00:30:42.960 --> 00:30:45.799
been using it with your clients and you've noticed that

579
00:30:45.839 --> 00:30:48.480
they've had an improvement. That's amazing.

580
00:30:48.720 --> 00:30:50.759
Last year I started running retreats too, of these four

581
00:30:50.839 --> 00:30:52.680
days retreats, and I would give people out a journal

582
00:30:52.759 --> 00:30:54.519
and say, now before we start, if you want to

583
00:30:54.599 --> 00:30:56.839
use this four days to do a four day you know,

584
00:30:56.960 --> 00:30:59.599
journaling exercise and people actually would take that up and

585
00:31:00.119 --> 00:31:03.000
use that time to do that. It's just so effective.

586
00:31:03.200 --> 00:31:05.720
By the same take, and so is seeing a psychologist

587
00:31:05.799 --> 00:31:09.240
like you who can recommend, yes that you try this

588
00:31:09.359 --> 00:31:13.119
you know Petnibraker technique or you know, there's all sorts

589
00:31:13.160 --> 00:31:15.160
of strategies and all sort of sorts of tips and

590
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:18.799
tools that a psychologist can can share with you and

591
00:31:18.920 --> 00:31:21.079
help you deal with whatever you're going through.

592
00:31:21.440 --> 00:31:23.359
And I think that's a really that's another point that

593
00:31:23.400 --> 00:31:25.400
you make in the book, like not every one of

594
00:31:25.519 --> 00:31:28.240
these ideas or these techniques is going to stick for

595
00:31:28.319 --> 00:31:30.680
you or resonate with you, but it is really about

596
00:31:31.039 --> 00:31:35.880
trying different approaches and then checking in with yourself about

597
00:31:35.960 --> 00:31:38.000
how do does this have a positive effect? Does this

598
00:31:38.079 --> 00:31:38.880
make a difference.

599
00:31:39.319 --> 00:31:42.079
There are so many strategies in the book, and like,

600
00:31:42.440 --> 00:31:44.640
this is not the intention that someone goes, right, Okay,

601
00:31:44.680 --> 00:31:46.960
I'm going to write a list of there's hundreds of

602
00:31:47.000 --> 00:31:48.920
strategies and I'm going to do all of them every

603
00:31:48.960 --> 00:31:51.440
single day. That that's not the intention. I guess the

604
00:31:51.440 --> 00:31:54.640
intension was just to read it. If you read something

605
00:31:54.720 --> 00:31:57.480
to go yeah, nah, that that sounds doesn't sound like me.

606
00:31:57.920 --> 00:32:01.200
That's fine, you know, like maybe only one or two

607
00:32:01.279 --> 00:32:03.880
things will resonate with you, but if they implement just

608
00:32:03.920 --> 00:32:06.000
a couple of them, and it helps them feel better

609
00:32:06.000 --> 00:32:09.559
about themselves, feel like they have more control over their life,

610
00:32:09.880 --> 00:32:12.400
and dare I say, it makes them happier and I'll

611
00:32:12.440 --> 00:32:13.079
be happy with that.

612
00:32:13.559 --> 00:32:16.359
Charia. Just getting back quickly to your friend Kate, who

613
00:32:16.720 --> 00:32:20.039
was We love Kate right, So Kate was in the fire.

614
00:32:20.200 --> 00:32:22.799
I had not heard about Kate before reading about her

615
00:32:22.839 --> 00:32:26.799
in your book. She sustained injuries as well. I was

616
00:32:26.960 --> 00:32:29.400
so fascinated to read that she has gone on to

617
00:32:29.440 --> 00:32:32.759
become a volunteer firefighter.

618
00:32:32.920 --> 00:32:35.599
I know she's crazy, She's crazy.

619
00:32:35.799 --> 00:32:38.559
But I also know even though you are not fighting fires,

620
00:32:38.759 --> 00:32:43.079
you have done the firewalk experience on a Tony Robbins weekend.

621
00:32:43.559 --> 00:32:46.160
Yes. Yes, yes, okay, yes, yes I did that.

622
00:32:47.359 --> 00:32:49.160
I was just curious to know. Do you think there

623
00:32:49.200 --> 00:32:53.039
is something significant about for you and Kate in your

624
00:32:53.240 --> 00:32:59.079
own different ways, facing down that fear, like facing the fire,

625
00:32:59.359 --> 00:33:01.599
you know, down the thing that caused you so much

626
00:33:02.079 --> 00:33:07.440
trauma as a key aspect of your healing or moving

627
00:33:07.480 --> 00:33:08.039
on from that.

628
00:33:09.039 --> 00:33:12.359
I don't know. I don't know, because I remember when

629
00:33:13.039 --> 00:33:15.279
I did, I did the Lake arga swim, which is

630
00:33:15.279 --> 00:33:18.799
this big swim in the Kimberly's with Kate and the

631
00:33:19.000 --> 00:33:20.680
other people that were in the gorge with us and

632
00:33:20.720 --> 00:33:24.720
got injured at the same time, and sixty minutes were

633
00:33:24.720 --> 00:33:30.440
with us, and everyone from the fire went back to

634
00:33:30.519 --> 00:33:33.200
the site of the actual fire, the gorge where we

635
00:33:33.279 --> 00:33:36.519
were burnt, except for me. I didn't go back there.

636
00:33:37.079 --> 00:33:43.759
And it wasn't like I was afraid, but I just

637
00:33:43.799 --> 00:33:47.599
felt for me. I didn't really see the benefit in

638
00:33:47.759 --> 00:33:52.640
revisiting a place that had hurt me. And I talked

639
00:33:52.640 --> 00:33:54.920
about it with my partner Michael, and we just, I

640
00:33:54.920 --> 00:33:56.599
don't know, we were just like, yeah, we actually just

641
00:33:56.680 --> 00:33:59.119
don't want to go. We couldn't articulate why we didn't

642
00:33:59.160 --> 00:34:01.160
want to go, but we just didn't want to go.

643
00:34:01.480 --> 00:34:03.839
And so we spend our day like exploring gorgeous and

644
00:34:03.880 --> 00:34:06.359
like swimming in the water and everything. We had a

645
00:34:05.759 --> 00:34:09.719
great day. So I don't know. I think maybe for Kate,

646
00:34:09.840 --> 00:34:14.000
like obviously, if she is literally in a firefighter's outfit

647
00:34:14.800 --> 00:34:19.599
fighting a fire, I'd say probably it might have been

648
00:34:19.639 --> 00:34:23.119
important for her to face her fear of fire. But

649
00:34:23.400 --> 00:34:27.000
for me, I don't think so much. But at that

650
00:34:27.119 --> 00:34:30.239
Tony Robins event that you just mentioned. I do remember

651
00:34:31.320 --> 00:34:33.360
distinctly when I was standing there on the edge of

652
00:34:33.360 --> 00:34:38.239
the hot coals, like this internal battle was going on

653
00:34:38.320 --> 00:34:41.840
in my head, and part of me just felt like

654
00:34:42.039 --> 00:34:46.599
maybe doing this, I could go from that event being

655
00:34:46.599 --> 00:34:48.679
the biggest tragedy in my life to being one of

656
00:34:48.719 --> 00:34:51.360
the biggest triumphs. So I do remember that moment. I

657
00:34:51.360 --> 00:34:54.159
don't know if that answers the question, Cass. I think

658
00:34:54.960 --> 00:34:56.639
a more succinct away it would have been like, yeah,

659
00:34:56.800 --> 00:34:57.679
kind of sort of.

660
00:35:01.159 --> 00:35:02.880
Well, I don't know. I for a lot of people,

661
00:35:02.880 --> 00:35:05.039
obviously you've written about it in your books before, but

662
00:35:05.280 --> 00:35:07.840
I'm not sure that people really I mean, you write

663
00:35:07.880 --> 00:35:09.719
also about the New South Wales fires that we just

664
00:35:09.800 --> 00:35:13.400
experienced last summer, and it's only when you write about

665
00:35:13.400 --> 00:35:19.159
it that it really hits home, like just the magnitude

666
00:35:19.480 --> 00:35:21.719
of what you went through, like and they're just having

667
00:35:21.719 --> 00:35:24.519
a fire so close, and how that impacts you, for example,

668
00:35:24.559 --> 00:35:27.599
differently to how it would impact it's all terrifying for anybody,

669
00:35:27.960 --> 00:35:31.519
but how it impacts you having had the experience that

670
00:35:31.599 --> 00:35:34.719
you had and just even a firewalk, you know, it's

671
00:35:34.719 --> 00:35:37.719
a different experience for you than anybody else who might also.

672
00:35:37.599 --> 00:35:40.119
Ye, yeah, yeah, totally totally, well yeah, because people I

673
00:35:40.159 --> 00:35:42.400
was with were like, yeah, that was nothing, that was easy,

674
00:35:43.360 --> 00:35:47.960
whereas I was like, like literally terrified. But when the

675
00:35:48.599 --> 00:35:51.480
fires were happening on the south coast, like there was

676
00:35:51.559 --> 00:35:53.320
fires burning to the north west of the south the

677
00:35:53.320 --> 00:35:55.599
rest of the west of Verset, when I went out

678
00:35:55.599 --> 00:35:57.360
of my back and I could, you know, see it

679
00:35:57.400 --> 00:35:59.920
with smoke, and there was embers falling in our backyards,

680
00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:07.760
and obviously I was really stressed, really anxious, really terrified.

681
00:36:08.280 --> 00:36:13.880
And I also felt useless because I wasn't rescuing neighbors

682
00:36:13.920 --> 00:36:16.800
from neighboring towns, I wasn't doing any food drops, I

683
00:36:16.880 --> 00:36:20.320
wasn't out fighting any fires. I was heavily pregnant, I

684
00:36:20.360 --> 00:36:25.480
had my toddler at home with me, and that whole

685
00:36:25.519 --> 00:36:28.079
time I was just in my head, just focusing on

686
00:36:28.760 --> 00:36:33.760
that noise, just almost obsessing about how these fires were

687
00:36:33.880 --> 00:36:38.679
affecting me personally. And it was only when I shifted

688
00:36:38.679 --> 00:36:41.960
that thinking and started thinking, well, how could I give

689
00:36:42.039 --> 00:36:45.440
back to my community, How could I do something that

690
00:36:45.480 --> 00:36:50.079
would be useful, How could I help other people? What

691
00:36:50.119 --> 00:36:52.400
could I be grateful for? Right now? It was only

692
00:36:52.440 --> 00:36:55.760
when I started to think like that and put my

693
00:36:55.880 --> 00:36:59.119
focus elsewhere, that that fear and that terror and that

694
00:36:59.239 --> 00:37:04.360
anxiety dissipated and it was really cool. A girlfriend came

695
00:37:04.440 --> 00:37:07.320
over and we came up with this idea spend with them.

696
00:37:07.320 --> 00:37:08.719
I don't know if you ever heard of it.

697
00:37:08.960 --> 00:37:11.320
Of course, of course I did, amazing yes.

698
00:37:11.519 --> 00:37:14.960
And it was just a little social initiative where we

699
00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:19.719
would profile businesses on an Instagram page and then anyone

700
00:37:19.719 --> 00:37:21.840
from all over Australia or anyone all over the world

701
00:37:22.239 --> 00:37:24.800
could find out about that business, purchased something from that

702
00:37:24.880 --> 00:37:28.920
business and then put money back into that local town

703
00:37:29.000 --> 00:37:33.159
Bruce Moraw and help fire affected communities all around Australia.

704
00:37:33.199 --> 00:37:35.280
And we started it, we had no idea what we

705
00:37:35.280 --> 00:37:40.519
were doing. We created the logo and canva and I

706
00:37:40.519 --> 00:37:42.280
think within a couple of days we had like close

707
00:37:42.280 --> 00:37:46.920
to two hundred thousand followers. The campaign took off like wildfire,

708
00:37:47.559 --> 00:37:52.239
and I think that experience for me, number one, it

709
00:37:52.360 --> 00:37:55.440
really crystallized, like especially when we are stressed or anxious

710
00:37:55.519 --> 00:37:59.559
or fearful, to try and think about others doing something

711
00:37:59.559 --> 00:38:02.639
for someone else, giving back. That's all part of being

712
00:38:02.719 --> 00:38:04.760
a client human, which you know, all of that stuff

713
00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:06.840
helps us to be happy, which I write about in

714
00:38:06.880 --> 00:38:09.760
the book. But when we're stressed and anxious and fearful,

715
00:38:10.719 --> 00:38:13.719
we are very much focused on ourselves and I think

716
00:38:13.760 --> 00:38:16.360
it's it can be really useful for us to try

717
00:38:16.440 --> 00:38:19.519
and shift that and think about, well, what could we

718
00:38:19.559 --> 00:38:22.360
do to help someone else, how could we be of

719
00:38:22.400 --> 00:38:27.119
service to our community? And so for me doing that campaign,

720
00:38:28.360 --> 00:38:29.920
look at it helped a lot of businesses and it

721
00:38:29.920 --> 00:38:31.519
helped a lot of people all around Australia. But it

722
00:38:31.519 --> 00:38:35.079
also really helped me, really helped me manage my emotions

723
00:38:35.400 --> 00:38:38.079
whilst living, you know, in the middle of a bushfire crisis.

724
00:38:38.360 --> 00:38:42.599
It was amazing to watch. I watched it obviously unfold

725
00:38:42.599 --> 00:38:44.239
at the time. This little thing you set up. You

726
00:38:44.239 --> 00:38:46.679
put a post up on your personal Instagram, so go

727
00:38:46.760 --> 00:38:50.320
and check out this page and just exploded, which I think.

728
00:38:50.400 --> 00:38:53.559
I mean, it's a huge kudos to you and Grace

729
00:38:53.559 --> 00:38:55.079
who set it up. But it was also really a

730
00:38:55.119 --> 00:38:57.079
reflection of how a lot of us were feeling in

731
00:38:57.159 --> 00:38:58.440
terms of just wanting to help.

732
00:38:58.679 --> 00:39:02.159
Yeah, totally, But that's the same with the coronavirus as well. Right,

733
00:39:02.239 --> 00:39:04.480
Like people might feel useless, and I think if you're

734
00:39:04.559 --> 00:39:10.159
feeling useless, like, try just doing something for someone else.

735
00:39:10.239 --> 00:39:12.800
Try and make your meal for one of your neighbors

736
00:39:12.800 --> 00:39:16.760
and leaving it out the door. Try calling up a

737
00:39:16.760 --> 00:39:19.039
girlfriend who you know is also having a really hard

738
00:39:19.039 --> 00:39:21.760
time and saying, hey, let's go for a walk. Like

739
00:39:21.800 --> 00:39:23.599
the sun's out, we could go for a walk and

740
00:39:23.639 --> 00:39:25.440
just get a little bit of you know, a little

741
00:39:25.440 --> 00:39:29.559
bit of sun, and asking try you know, I always

742
00:39:29.599 --> 00:39:32.119
like to try and do some really good bits of

743
00:39:32.159 --> 00:39:35.519
writing or some really good content that I hope people

744
00:39:35.559 --> 00:39:39.679
will find valuable and they'll appreciate. So I think, especially

745
00:39:39.719 --> 00:39:43.159
if you're feeling a bit blur and a bit stuck

746
00:39:43.199 --> 00:39:46.519
and useless, just try and do something for someone else,

747
00:39:46.599 --> 00:39:49.039
Try and do something kind and then see if that

748
00:39:49.079 --> 00:39:51.800
actually makes you feel better, because I can guarantee you

749
00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:53.039
it will.

750
00:39:53.000 --> 00:39:54.440
As you said, it is in the book and it

751
00:39:54.519 --> 00:39:58.440
is proven by research. So I'm also found it really

752
00:39:58.480 --> 00:40:01.840
interesting that you have you're writing this book about happiness,

753
00:40:02.320 --> 00:40:05.440
and this book about happiness is you and you can't

754
00:40:05.639 --> 00:40:07.840
get it, Like you know that you need to focus

755
00:40:07.920 --> 00:40:09.960
on this book about happiness, and instead you're going out

756
00:40:10.039 --> 00:40:15.079
and creating this initiative to help other people, which ironically

757
00:40:15.159 --> 00:40:20.079
is fundamental to happiness. You were just like living it

758
00:40:20.159 --> 00:40:21.320
as in real time.

759
00:40:21.719 --> 00:40:23.360
Look, I had to I had to make sure what

760
00:40:23.480 --> 00:40:26.559
I put in the book was verified with personal experience.

761
00:40:26.639 --> 00:40:32.880
So you know, I just want to ask you now

762
00:40:32.920 --> 00:40:35.599
to come back to the coronavirus. So obviously this has

763
00:40:35.639 --> 00:40:39.159
been a really, really tough time. Depending on where you live,

764
00:40:39.599 --> 00:40:44.119
it's affected us all differently. You know, clearly the guys

765
00:40:44.119 --> 00:40:46.159
I think even at the time that this podcast goes to,

766
00:40:46.159 --> 00:40:48.800
where there's probably people still in lockdown or just coming

767
00:40:48.800 --> 00:40:52.119
out of lockdown. Based on what you have learned and

768
00:40:52.800 --> 00:40:55.880
from your own experience, what advice have you got for

769
00:40:55.960 --> 00:40:59.800
people to who are struggling, who are really struggling and

770
00:41:00.280 --> 00:41:03.599
it tough to find any silver lining, and what's been

771
00:41:03.639 --> 00:41:04.480
a pretty crap year.

772
00:41:04.840 --> 00:41:07.519
Yeah, I would just accept it and acknowledge it, say yeah,

773
00:41:07.559 --> 00:41:11.360
today's this year's been shit, and remind yourself that if

774
00:41:11.400 --> 00:41:14.960
anyone else was in your situation, they would feel the same.

775
00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:19.639
If anyone else was in lockdown for pretty much months

776
00:41:19.639 --> 00:41:22.880
on end, they would feel shit, They would feel like crap.

777
00:41:23.280 --> 00:41:26.760
So just accept it and acknowledge it. The next thing

778
00:41:26.760 --> 00:41:30.639
I would say is a bit of perspective does always

779
00:41:30.679 --> 00:41:34.119
help So whether you're getting that perspective by helping somebody else,

780
00:41:34.719 --> 00:41:37.760
like we just talked about cash, or reading some really

781
00:41:37.800 --> 00:41:40.920
good books written by some really awesome people. Eddie Jack

782
00:41:40.960 --> 00:41:43.440
who I mentioned him earlier, he wrote The Happiest Man

783
00:41:43.480 --> 00:41:46.960
on Earth. He's a Holocaust survivor. I found that book

784
00:41:47.000 --> 00:41:50.360
to be extraordinary. They can read one of my books.

785
00:41:50.679 --> 00:41:53.960
They can watch really cool movies, inspirational movies like The

786
00:41:54.039 --> 00:41:57.880
Diving Bell and The Butterfly, the Intouchables. All of those

787
00:41:57.920 --> 00:41:59.599
things will just help people to get a little bit

788
00:41:59.639 --> 00:42:02.920
of effective on their own lives. And the last thing

789
00:42:03.079 --> 00:42:06.880
I would say is to you know, if they're really struggling,

790
00:42:07.519 --> 00:42:10.519
to remind themselves that you know, they don't have to

791
00:42:10.519 --> 00:42:13.440
do it alone. Just like I said, if their car

792
00:42:13.480 --> 00:42:16.000
is not working, they'd go to a mechanic. If their

793
00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:19.159
eyebrows needwaxing, they go to a reutrition. If they're really

794
00:42:19.239 --> 00:42:22.199
struggling to reach out to someone, reach out to a

795
00:42:22.280 --> 00:42:25.960
support service, go see a counselor see a psychologists, because

796
00:42:25.960 --> 00:42:29.639
I think doing those things will be extremely beneficial for

797
00:42:29.719 --> 00:42:30.800
their mental well being.

798
00:42:31.559 --> 00:42:35.199
And a reminder that you can have medical appointments and

799
00:42:35.199 --> 00:42:38.239
psychology appointments by telehealth, you don't have to leave home,

800
00:42:38.639 --> 00:42:42.000
So that's been a really important change this year. Churia,

801
00:42:42.119 --> 00:42:45.719
did you voice the narrate the audiobook for Happy and

802
00:42:45.760 --> 00:42:47.280
Other Ridiculous Aspirations?

803
00:42:47.519 --> 00:42:52.400
Mate? I did the first like five pages, and they

804
00:42:52.480 --> 00:42:53.960
kept making me do it again. So I was like, no,

805
00:42:54.039 --> 00:42:56.079
I'm not going to this is like what that was perfect?

806
00:42:56.119 --> 00:42:59.199
Come on? And so I didn't. I didn't narrate the book.

807
00:42:59.239 --> 00:43:03.079
I didn't narrate the Madeline Leven's narrated it though, and

808
00:43:03.760 --> 00:43:06.880
I loved her voice. They didn't tell me who was

809
00:43:06.920 --> 00:43:09.280
going to be narrating it. What they sent through a

810
00:43:09.320 --> 00:43:14.320
test file, and I just loved how she spoke because

811
00:43:15.199 --> 00:43:18.320
I don't know, she was almost like sassy in some

812
00:43:18.400 --> 00:43:21.800
parts but then a bit sarcastic in others, and I

813
00:43:23.159 --> 00:43:25.840
really appreciated that. I thought that was really cool. So

814
00:43:25.880 --> 00:43:27.039
she did an awesome job.

815
00:43:27.280 --> 00:43:29.159
Oh well, I'm glad to hear it because this book,

816
00:43:29.239 --> 00:43:31.599
for anybody who is thinking of buying it, this book

817
00:43:31.679 --> 00:43:33.840
is like having a conversation with you. It is so

818
00:43:34.239 --> 00:43:37.840
your voice. It is full of f bombs and bullshits,

819
00:43:38.000 --> 00:43:41.199
and it is very much real talk. It is practical,

820
00:43:41.800 --> 00:43:44.119
real advice, and the whole time I've been reading it,

821
00:43:44.159 --> 00:43:47.639
I've been reading it with your voice like in my head.

822
00:43:48.679 --> 00:43:51.239
So I'm glad to hear that, Madeline is it has

823
00:43:51.280 --> 00:43:52.079
done it justice.

824
00:43:52.320 --> 00:43:54.280
Yeah, she's done it justice. She's probably done a better

825
00:43:54.360 --> 00:43:56.519
job than I could do. And I don't really say

826
00:43:56.559 --> 00:43:57.920
that about many people.

827
00:43:59.039 --> 00:44:01.159
It really is fantastic. And I've read a lot of

828
00:44:01.199 --> 00:44:03.440
books about happiness and even written a couple myself, and

829
00:44:03.519 --> 00:44:05.639
this is right up there. So I really recommend that

830
00:44:05.639 --> 00:44:08.199
people go and get this book. It is a gem.

831
00:44:08.960 --> 00:44:13.400
So Charia, thank you so much. This has been amazing.

832
00:44:13.679 --> 00:44:15.639
Thank you for coming back on and sharing your time.

833
00:44:16.119 --> 00:44:17.440
It's so good. It's so good to be able to

834
00:44:17.480 --> 00:44:19.039
see you. And thank you so much for having me

835
00:44:19.159 --> 00:44:22.960
as your first repeat guess. It has been a genuine

836
00:44:23.000 --> 00:44:26.159
pleasure to spend three quarters of an hour with you.

837
00:44:26.320 --> 00:44:27.840
It's been really nice.

838
00:44:27.639 --> 00:44:34.760
And you thanks. Trea Churia's book Happy and Other Ridiculous

839
00:44:34.800 --> 00:44:38.159
Aspirations is available now in all bookstores, or you can

840
00:44:38.199 --> 00:44:40.159
sign up to be part of her letter gang at

841
00:44:40.239 --> 00:44:43.320
Juriapit dot com. Of course, you can always catch up

842
00:44:43.360 --> 00:44:46.000
with me on Facebook and Instagram or at my website

843
00:44:46.039 --> 00:44:49.360
Caste dot com. And I always appreciate getting your feedback.

844
00:44:49.599 --> 00:44:52.559
Hello at castone dot com is where you can email me.

845
00:44:53.000 --> 00:44:55.039
If you do enjoy the show, please give us a

846
00:44:55.119 --> 00:44:57.960
rating and a review, and don't forget to subscribe so

847
00:44:58.000 --> 00:45:00.400
that you don't miss our new episodes, which will be

848
00:45:00.440 --> 00:45:03.599
coming out now every second week. I look forward to

849
00:45:03.679 --> 00:45:06.159
having you join me on the next episode of Crappy

850
00:45:06.199 --> 00:45:09.880
to Happy. Crappy to Happy is presented by Cast Dunn,

851
00:45:09.960 --> 00:45:17.119
produced by Davis Lensky, Audio production by Darcy Thompson. Listener