Sept. 19, 2022

How teacher wellbeing impacts us all with Meg Durham

How teacher wellbeing impacts us all with Meg Durham
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How teacher wellbeing impacts us all with Meg Durham
How teacher wellbeing impacts us all with Meg Durham
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Season 8Personal Growth & HealingMindfulness & AcceptanceJob Satisfaction

Meg Durham is a former teacher who saw firsthand the devastating impacts of teacher burnout and exhaustion. She decided she had to do something about it, and has dedicated her professional life to improving the health and wellbeing of teachers. In this chat Meg takes us behind the curtain and explains why teachers are so burnt out, and what can be done about it.. There are lessons here relevant to everyone - whether you’re a teacher, a parent or just someone struggling with your own wellbeing. Connect with Meg:www.openmindeducation.cominstagram: @megdurham__
Connect with Cass:www.crappytohappypod.comhello@crappytohappypod.com 
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Transcript
WEBVTT

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A listener production.

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This is Crappita Happy and I am your host Castune.

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I'm a clinical and coaching psychologist and mindfulness meditation teacher

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and of.

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Course author of the Crappy to Happy books.

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In this show, I bring you conversations with interesting, inspiring,

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intelligent people who are experts in their field and who

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have something of value to share that will help you

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feel less crappy and more happy. Meg Durham is a

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former teacher who learned very quickly when she entered the

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profession that being a teacher does not just involve educating

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our kids. There's also a whole lot of responsibility for

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their mental and emotional wellbeing. There's the cognitive load of

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knowing where they're up to in their lives, and also

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dealing with parents. She also saw firsthand the devastating impacts

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of teacher burnout and exhaustion from carrying all of this responsibility.

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She decided that she had to do something about this,

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and so she has dedicated her professional life to improving

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the health and wellbeing of teachers. Meg believes passionately that

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if the people around our kids aren't looking after their wellbeing,

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then the flaw and effect for the kids can be dire.

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I thought it was really timely to have this conversation

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with Meg. Having just come out of two years of

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teachers having the pressure of remote learning, we know how

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challenging it has been, so in this chat, Meg takes

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us behind the curtain and explains why teachers are so

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burnt out and what can be done about it. There

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are lessons here relevant to everyone, So even if you

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are not a teacher, if you're a parent or just

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someone struggling with your own wellbeing, then I think you

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will get a lot out of this chat, and I

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know that you're going to love Meg as much as

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I do.

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Meg.

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Welcome to Crappy to Happy. Such a pleasure to have

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you here.

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Cas, thank you so much for having me.

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You have been I'm a huge supporter of Crappy to

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Happy and I've been following the work that you've been

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doing and loving the impact that you are having and

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make you. As we explained in the intro, work in

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the space of teacher well being. So let's just start

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by introducing you to the listeners and tell us a

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little bit about the megstory and how you came to

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be so passionate about well being in schools and with teachers.

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Well cas For me, it all began when I was

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a little girl playing schools. I was one of those

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little girls that played schools. I had my little library,

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I had my pretend students, and all I ever wanted

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to be was a teacher. Wow, I never waivered. That's

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all I ever wanted to be was a teacher.

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That's amazing that that never changed along the way.

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Never changed. The only thing that changed was what type

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of teacher, and that depended on who was teaching me

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that year. So sometimes I wanted to be you two teacher,

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you five teacher. Then I wanted to be my PE teacher,

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my science teacher. So I ended up becoming a primary

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and secondary PE and science teacher.

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Wow.

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I didn't actually realize there was such a thing as

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a primary and secondary teacher. So with PE you can

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do that across both. Is that normal that you can?

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Yeah? Right, yeah, you can teach primary through to secondary.

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And a lot of schools that have phized specialists a

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P to twelve and so you do primary and secondary.

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And it's really interesting because when you're teaching primary students,

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they have so much will, so much motivation, not so

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much skill and then when you're teaching secondary students, they've

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got a lot of skill, but you have to really

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get them going to get that motivation.

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Ah, that's relatable.

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And so you fulfilled your dream, you became a teacher,

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and then how did that evolve into what you're doing.

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So my first day in the classroom, I felt like

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I had won a gold medal, like I'd finally had

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my class list, I had my students that were sitting there,

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I was getting paid to be a teacher, and I thought.

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This is it.

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I have absolutely made it. And as every teacher knows,

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your first year is like a tsunami. It is so

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full on. It's like buckling in for a roller coaster

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and you do everything you can to get through that

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first year. And for me, it was survival, get home,

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have a nap, get up, do my reporting, do all

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my assessment, and go again.

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Wow. Pretty fullng, really full.

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On, and people don't understand unless you're in it. Sometimes

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I think of it a bit like parenting. It's one

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of those things like, oh, yeah, I could be a parent,

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that's you know, that's fine, and then you become a parent,

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like whoa. There is so much to this that you

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can't articulate until you're in it. And so that's something

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that I really was challenged with when it came to teaching,

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because there was so much that I wasn't prepared for,

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so much that I wasn't skilled in, and yet it

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was expected that I could do it.

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So tell me what some of those things were that

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you were not skilled in.

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So pretty much anything to do with a human element

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of teaching. When I was training, I trained in the content,

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not the context, And so when it comes to context,

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we're not supported in how do we work with young people,

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how do we navigate challenging parents, how do we deal

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with the difficult conversations in the staff room. It's all

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that human element that we're not supported in. It's almost

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like when I went through my teacher training that the

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students will arrive, you'll teach them, and they will leave.

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That's it. And it's nothing like that what you.

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Said before, Meg about you don't know it until you're

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in it. And I've run a couple of sessions in

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schools over the course of my the work that I

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do in terms of well being and positive psychology and mindfulness,

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and that is the thing that I hear back from

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schools and people bringing me in. Is they say, our

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teachers they almost do a sprint for eight weeks or

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ten weeks, and then they crash and burn, and then

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they come back and they sprint and it's this peak

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valley kind of situation where they are fully spent depleted.

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By the end of a term. Is that sounding like

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what you experienced.

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Absolutely, it's a complete boom and bus cycle. So if

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we didn't have the holidays, we wouldn't be able to

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go again. And years ago in teaching, in the first

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few weeks it was quiet, we were settling in, we're

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getting to know students, we're getting into our curriculum, and

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then it would slowly build. But now from week one

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to week ten, it is on. It's fast, it's furious,

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and it's intense.

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I don't know if you are familiar with just little

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side topic. Becks Barrow, who has obviously been a guest

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on this podcast as well, and Madonna King also has

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been a guest on the podcast, and they both work

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in this the Bust journalists by training, but they work

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in this area of sort of students well being, and

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they've been having some discussion about the nature of the

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Australian curriculum and that's probably not a conversation for us

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to have today, but it sounds like that's what you're

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alluding to make the way the curriculum has changed, and

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the amount of pressure that is being put on teachers

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and students to cover ridiculous amounts of content at a

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ridiculously high level in a ridiculous amount of time, and

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so that's just kind of increasing the pressure at all

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levels in the education system.

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Yes, and the curriculum is just one element of what's

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putting pressure on our educators. It's not the whole story,

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and it is a big element, but there's so much more.

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When you think about the day of a teacher, the

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emotional load that they carry is significant. A secondary teacher

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will be teaching from one hundred to two hundred students

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in a week or two weeks, and they're expected to

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get to know every student, their strengths, their weaknesses, to

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be in contact with parents. Sometimes there's two parents involved,

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four parents involved. There is a lot of dynamics that

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come with every single student that is a very heavy

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load to carry, and it's very invisible. So when a

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teacher walks into a classroom, they will look at a

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student and think, oh, I've just got an email that

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their dog died yet last night. And this student they're

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going through a divorce in their family. This student really

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needs us to break things down because they've got some

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additional needs. This student's just had a fight with someone

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in a locker room. And there's something for every student,

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and that emotional load is so heavy and we're not

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supported to deal with it.

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So how did that coming back to your story?

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Then?

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Meg?

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Like?

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Where did that take you next?

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So what happened for me was I got more and

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more interested in this human element. And there was a

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moment that I remember really clearly. I was teaching year

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eight science at a beautiful school. It had everything that

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open and shuts, and this student looked like her life

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was all together, was all fine, and she said could

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I have a with her? I said, yeah, no problems,

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I'll have a quick chat to you on my way

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out to yard duty. Happy to help my chat with

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students all the time. And then I looked in her

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eyes and I realized that she wanted to really talk.

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It wasn't a talk that we could have on the

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way to yar duty, and so I made the space

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to talk with her, to get someone else to do

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my yard duty, and what this young girl shared with

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me just broke my heart. Here I am twenty two

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dealing with a young girl that's heart is breaking, that

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life feels like it's falling apart, and we're not trained

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for that, and I thought, what am I going to do?

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I've got no idea what to do, and so instantly

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I thought, what would mum do? Mum would listen, be empathetic,

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be understanding, make them feel okay, not to judge them,

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and get them to help. And so that's what I did.

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But it was one of those moments casts that once

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you see it, you can't unsee it. So that student

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that looks like everything's going well on the surface, it

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isn't always the same internal. And that's when I really

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started to notice that there was so much going on

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for the young people in my classroom and the adults

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that were in my staff room, and the parents that

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I was talking to on the phone. It was this

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human element. So that's why I went to study my

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master's in education in Student well Being over ten years

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ago now, because I wanted to learn how can we

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do this better? How can we support the humans in

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our classroom so they can learn.

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And so a master's in education.

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So did you do that, like leave and do that

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full time or did you go and do that on

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top of while you were continuing to teach.

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I was doing that while I was teaching, right, and

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I was also teaching aerobic So I'm painting a picture

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of an AE plus you know that a type personality.

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I was just desperate to learn how to do it.

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And I remember going along to a lecture on a

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Thursday night. It went from five o'clock I think to

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eight o'clock and it was so tiring to do the program,

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but it was also so inspiring to think, there is

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this whole body of knowledge that we know of that's

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evidence based, that helps people, and why aren't we learning

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this as educators and why aren't we teaching this to

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our students?

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So you came back then and continue to teach make

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or did you come back.

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More into a well being?

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Like?

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How did that evolve for you?

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So I continued to teach, but then I continued to

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get frustrated because now I knew the knowledge. I had

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the knowledge, but there wasn't spaces to share it. There

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wasn't opportunities to explicitly teach it, and I believe that

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we need to explicitly teach the skills of well being,

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just like we teach numeracy, literacy, any other subject. And

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so eventually I was at a school that really saw

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what I knew and they gave me the opportunity to

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write my first student well being program for girls in

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year seven, eight and nine.

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And how did that go down?

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It was amazing to be teaching well being education like

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a say object. It was that moment of this is

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what I'm here to do. This is the subject that

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I want to teach to see young people find out

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that they're not alone, that everybody has these thoughts, everybody

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has these experiences because they are human. Permission to be human,

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permission to be sad, happy, jealous, all of the things,

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and give ourselves a language. It was so much fun,

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Like I absolutely loved teaching students, but then I became

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really passionate about supporting educators to provide this information not

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only for their students, but for themselves. What did you.

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Observe in terms of the change in those students, you know,

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what were the results that you were able to actually

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see in terms of how they managed themselves in their lives.

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Well as a basic understanding. We did a lot about

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energy management. Who is responsible for how you feel each day?

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And we surveyed the whole group of your age students

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and said, who is responsible for your energy? My parents, myself,

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my teachers, or other. When we first surveyed yourate students,

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the overwhelming majority said, my parents. It's my parents. It's

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my parents like making me go to bear the doing

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all of this thing. It has to be my parents.

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Who else is responsible for my energy? And then at

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the end of the year we asked the same question,

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and overwhelmingly they realized it was me. My choices have

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an impact on the way that I experience life. And

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then from that foundation of autonomy and responsibility, we started

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to notice that students weren't having big blow ups as much.

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They were dealing with small things. They were dealing with

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little niggles, and they weren't going straight to a teacher

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every time there was a little issue because they had

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the skills to navigate it, they had a language to

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navigate it. They talked about flipping their lids and it's okay,

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we do that. Let's just not dig a hole and

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they had a whole new language to communicate with each other,

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and so there was less drama and also more learning.

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Wow, that is brilliant.

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I mean, just you know, Meg, Like, imagine if every

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student or and every teacher you know had that as

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a foundation, how much stress it would save, and how

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much drama it would save, and how much energy it

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would free up for people to be able to focus

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on the things that that are really important for them

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to focus on.

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And this is the ideal world. The ideal world is

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where we can explicitly teach these skills with teachers that

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are really highly trained in this area. However, the way

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that education is set up at the moment, it's not

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what happens because teachers aren't getting the support, they're not

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getting the resources what they need to feel confident to

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walk into that well beeing classroom. So, for example, if

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you're a mass or a French teacher and you're expected

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to teach well being, how like I wasn't trained. Would

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be like asking me, as a phizzed teacher to teach French.

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It's like, well, that's not my skill set. I don't

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feel comfortable teaching that. Yes, we're all human, yes, you know,

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we've all been to school. Yes we have relationship things,

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but being skilled is really important and feeling like you

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can walk into that classroom with the confidence that you

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know what you're talking about, that you know this content area.

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It's not just something that we pick up a book

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and we just start talking about it.

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And I'm being a master of French teacher, You've already

301
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got enough on your plate to teach.

302
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Yeah, You've got so much on your plate to teach,

303
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and teachers have so much on their plate. So we've

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talked about the emotional load, we've talked about the curriculum. Well,

305
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we haven't talked about is the engagement factor. So since

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remote learning, it has been harder and harder to get

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students engaged because they've had two years on their screens

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where they can mute, they can turn their cameras off,

309
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go to the fridge, text their friend, all these things

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and to walk back into a classroom. It is so

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hard to get students engaged. And it's not just a

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school thing. I was talking to a professor of psychiatry

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and addiction medicine from Stanford University last week and she

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said she can't get her medical students into university because

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they want to watch her on double time, having a latte,

316
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talking to their friends. And so this engagement is such

317
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an issue for us.

318
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What do we do about that?

319
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Yeah, this is and this is this is. The extension

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of the school system is often reflective of a community issue.

321
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So we know as a community we're losing our ability

322
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to focus. We're more distracted. We like things with bells

323
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and whistles. We want things to be short and sharp.

324
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We can't bear to wait for an episode for a

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whole week. We need to binge the whole season. And

326
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so can you imagine what it's like for our young

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people who've never had a time where they've had to

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wait and now to be back into classrooms. And also

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some students coming back to school has been really tough

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because they loved being away from all the social dynamics.

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They loved being withdrawn from it, and so to step

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back into it feels uncomfortable because they've had a big

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gap in their social development.

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It's a challenge make I was actually you've preempted me

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because I was going to ask you, like, what unique

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challenges are being faced right now, particularly on the back

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of the pandemic, and so that's obviously a huge one.

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So if we come back to teacher well being and

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what they're grappling with, then obviously, as you're saying, just

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getting students engaged, what am I getting teachers engaged?

341
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Again? Is that an issue?

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It's a big issue because we've gone from a model

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where teachers were at school every day, they had their timetable,

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they did what they were told. Because teachers like to

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do what they're told and we'll get to that a

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little bit later. They like to do the right things.

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And then we had this remote learning period where they realized,

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oh I could put the washing on, I could go

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for a walk, I could chat to my friend at

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lunch time. I had all this autonomy. And so to

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go back into school feels really challenging because all of

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a sudden, they're thinking, I don't know if I want

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to be so constrained by this timetable and constrained by

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how this school functions. I really liked having a little

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bit of autonomy. And so it's interesting to notecast that

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the schools that have allowed much more flexibility now they're

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the ones that their staff are much more likely to

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stay because they're starting to feel that experience, But there

359
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are schools that have gone back to that you have

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to be on site from this time to this time,

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and it's just not sustainable in this future. Teachers aren't

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going to hang around in schools where there's no flexibility.

363
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They want flexibility, just like every other workplace.

364
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And it's exactly what you just said, mag like that

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is reflective of the broader community, like so many organizations

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now have gone to a hybrid model because people have

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had a taste of that autonomy and organizations have realized

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you don't actually have to be there, and you don't

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have to be commuting, and you don't have to be

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physically in a particular building in a particular space to

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do your job effectively. So that's really interesting that that

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is relevant for teachers as well, because I guess intuitively

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you would think, oh, well, that's a.

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Job that you've got to You've got to be there

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like you've got it.

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How does that work that hybrid model for somebody who

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is a teacher in a school.

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So as a teacher, you have a timetable and it's

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face to face teaching, but there are times when you're

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not face to face teaching so it could be reasonable

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to expect if you had the lesson five off on

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a Friday, or you had a late start on a Wednesday,

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that you can do that.

384
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Okay, well that makes perfect sense.

385
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I think one of the things with about the perception

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of teaching generally. You know, you talked about you always

387
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wanted to be a teacher. I mean, I know lots

388
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of people who grow up saying I.

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Want to be a teacher, and then number one reason

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for wanting to be a teacher is they think that

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this is an you know, eight thirty to three o'clock.

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And loads of holidays that you get paid for. Like,

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there's always been this public perception that teaching is really cushy,

394
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you get all this time off.

395
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That's clearly not the reality. So how does this.

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Impact the way teachers are being supported? I guess I

397
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get the sense that people are not that sympathetic to

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the stress that teachers are undernecessarily because there is this

399
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public perception.

400
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Would you agree?

401
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Yeah? I do agree, And I think we're in a

402
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tricky situation because everybody has been to school, so everybody

403
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feels like, because I've been to school, I know what

404
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schools are like. But schools have changed so much since

405
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when we were at school, and so it's a different world.

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And so that's why I think it's so important that

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more teachers share what their day to day experience is,

408
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because when you share your day to day experience with

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someone who doesn't work in education, their eyes just light

410
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up and think, I can't believe it. Is that what

411
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you have to deal with. So let's think about the

412
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parental side of education. Let's think about parents. So years ago,

413
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you didn't see parents. Parents didn't come to scho school.

414
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They weren't a part They may have come to the

415
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sports day. They may have come along to the assembly

416
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at the end of the year, but they weren't a

417
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part of everyday life. Now you have parents that feel

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that they can email every little detail to their teachers

419
00:21:15.319 --> 00:21:17.680
all the time. I worked in a school. Cast This

420
00:21:17.799 --> 00:21:20.359
is not a lie. This is one hundred percent true.

421
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I worked in a school that a student was given

422
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a certificate, and so the parents decided that a certificate

423
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wasn't good enough. They went and got their own trophy

424
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made with the school emblems on it, and we had

425
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to explain that that is not okay, okay. So we've

426
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got like this extremes of parents who are hyper involved.

427
00:21:43.039 --> 00:21:46.640
They don't want their children to experience discomfort. They'll go

428
00:21:46.720 --> 00:21:49.519
into bat for them straight away. They're in there. They're

429
00:21:49.559 --> 00:21:53.799
firing off emails at all times of at night, all

430
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different things. If they just slept on it and may

431
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have had a different outcome. But then also we have

432
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parents that we can't engage that we just wish they

433
00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:06.240
would come for something like please come and see your

434
00:22:06.319 --> 00:22:10.079
children learning, growing, be involved, be you're part of it.

435
00:22:10.160 --> 00:22:13.759
So the parental piece is really interesting, and every school

436
00:22:13.799 --> 00:22:17.319
context has different challenges and also different strengths when it

437
00:22:17.359 --> 00:22:19.880
comes to parents. And I believe that the schools that

438
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do really well are the schools that the teachers and

439
00:22:22.519 --> 00:22:26.039
the parents are really working together as a team to

440
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support the young person.

441
00:22:27.839 --> 00:22:32.240
Yeah, so Meg, back to you were teaching. Keep coming

442
00:22:32.240 --> 00:22:34.240
back to you and your story. Because you were teaching

443
00:22:34.279 --> 00:22:38.400
students well being. Then you became really passionate about educating

444
00:22:38.519 --> 00:22:42.039
teachers so that teachers could then share this information with

445
00:22:42.160 --> 00:22:44.359
student I mean that makes sense, doesn't it, Like have

446
00:22:44.440 --> 00:22:46.319
it come from the top and have it filter through

447
00:22:46.319 --> 00:22:47.680
the student body.

448
00:22:48.079 --> 00:22:51.599
So what then happened for you? How did that come about?

449
00:22:52.039 --> 00:22:54.519
So part of My story, which is a whole other episode,

450
00:22:54.599 --> 00:22:57.000
is I fell in love with a farmer. So that's

451
00:22:57.039 --> 00:23:00.920
another story. Ah, I fell in love with and that

452
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mean that I moved very far away from lots of schools,

453
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and so that's where I was lucky to write the

454
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well being program and start doing the teaching. And from

455
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writing the program and doing the training of the teachers,

456
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that's where I noticed that I got the most energy

457
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when you're in a room with teachers that want to learn,

458
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that are excited to learn, and they want to share

459
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this information. They want to do a really good job.

460
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Teachers want to do a good job. So when they're

461
00:23:25.279 --> 00:23:29.839
provided with the space, the time, and the resources, magic

462
00:23:29.880 --> 00:23:33.039
can happen. And that's where I got so interested in

463
00:23:33.079 --> 00:23:36.920
this staff piece. And then I became a parent, and

464
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then I got curious about the parent piece. And that's

465
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where I've got to this place where if we really

466
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want our young people to be well, we need to

467
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surround them with well adults that know how to look

468
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after themselves and navigate the ups and downs. We can't

469
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just look at our young people and think what's wrong

470
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with them? We really need to think about the whole environment,

471
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think about that ecosystem. On the farm, when the crop

472
00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:05.039
didn't do well, they didn't blame the crop. They looked

473
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at the soil, they looked at the weather. And that's

474
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what we really need to think about when it comes

475
00:24:09.279 --> 00:24:13.359
to school systems. Let's look at the whole ecosystem. How

476
00:24:13.400 --> 00:24:16.160
are things going? What's the culture? Does it feel like

477
00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:18.160
we're in a hot pot? Does it feel like we're

478
00:24:18.200 --> 00:24:22.599
marinating in stress, pressure, an urgency? Or is there some space?

479
00:24:23.319 --> 00:24:27.440
Is there some laughter? Is there connection? Meg?

480
00:24:28.279 --> 00:24:33.039
Giving teaches those skills is so important, But like you say,

481
00:24:33.359 --> 00:24:36.200
like those they have to have the space, like the

482
00:24:36.359 --> 00:24:39.839
environment has to support them. Doesn't it like a teacher

483
00:24:39.880 --> 00:24:44.839
can't individually create that space and time for themselves in

484
00:24:44.880 --> 00:24:48.279
a high pressure week with as you say, parent expectations,

485
00:24:48.400 --> 00:24:54.000
overloaded curriculum, lack of engagement. So how does this is

486
00:24:54.039 --> 00:24:56.599
really a whole school approach, isn't it?

487
00:24:56.599 --> 00:24:59.160
It has to be a whole school approach, And we

488
00:24:59.319 --> 00:25:03.440
really need to invest resources into this space. It's like

489
00:25:03.559 --> 00:25:05.880
any other area in the school. If we want it

490
00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:08.119
to be done well, we need to invest in it.

491
00:25:08.480 --> 00:25:11.160
I often look at how much effort and energy goes

492
00:25:11.200 --> 00:25:14.079
into maintaining the grounds at a lot of schools, and

493
00:25:14.119 --> 00:25:16.799
I think, imagine if you put that effort and energy

494
00:25:16.799 --> 00:25:18.720
into maintaining your staff.

495
00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:22.079
And how receptive are schools to this.

496
00:25:22.200 --> 00:25:24.039
I feel like we've come a long way in this space,

497
00:25:24.039 --> 00:25:26.720
Like I feel like well being, positive, psychology, all of

498
00:25:26.759 --> 00:25:30.880
that stuff is really kind of know now, and I

499
00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:35.200
think schools get it now more so than they ever did.

500
00:25:35.640 --> 00:25:38.680
Are you finding that they're very receptive to having somebody

501
00:25:38.759 --> 00:25:41.400
like you or you know, somebody else in that same

502
00:25:41.440 --> 00:25:44.680
space like come in and help them to put these

503
00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:45.680
structures in place.

504
00:25:46.559 --> 00:25:49.039
Yeah, what you're saying is so spot on, Cass. I

505
00:25:49.079 --> 00:25:51.839
think in the last ten years I've seen more growth

506
00:25:51.920 --> 00:25:54.920
in the last eighteen months than my whole career. People

507
00:25:54.920 --> 00:25:58.559
are open and it's also not just schools. Other organizations

508
00:25:58.599 --> 00:26:01.160
are really open to information that I don't think they

509
00:26:01.160 --> 00:26:04.160
would have been open to two years ago, pre pandemic.

510
00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:08.240
And so it's interesting what desperation makes people do all

511
00:26:08.279 --> 00:26:10.880
of a sudden. If your staff aren't tuning up, you're

512
00:26:10.920 --> 00:26:13.000
going to get a little bit curious and think about

513
00:26:13.039 --> 00:26:14.519
how can we do things differently.

514
00:26:18.359 --> 00:26:21.640
I hope that you're enjoying this conversation and realizing the

515
00:26:21.680 --> 00:26:24.599
benefits of positivity in your own life. If you are

516
00:26:24.720 --> 00:26:27.440
enjoying the show, please be sure to like and subscribe

517
00:26:27.440 --> 00:26:29.799
so that you get notified when you apps drop and

518
00:26:29.880 --> 00:26:32.319
head on over to Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen

519
00:26:32.359 --> 00:26:42.680
and leave us a rating and review. Meggie, you mentioned

520
00:26:42.680 --> 00:26:45.359
before teachers really want to do a good job, and

521
00:26:46.079 --> 00:26:48.359
I think, you know, even in thinking about having this

522
00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:50.319
conversation with you, I was thinking, you know, people come

523
00:26:50.359 --> 00:26:52.480
to the profession of teaching, it's like any sort of

524
00:26:52.519 --> 00:26:56.279
helping or caring profession. They're so giving and so nurturing,

525
00:26:56.319 --> 00:27:00.160
and they do understand the responsibility I guess of their job.

526
00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:01.599
So how does.

527
00:27:01.480 --> 00:27:05.359
That personality trade or you know, that sort of helping

528
00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:11.440
attitude and self sacrificing almost attitude of teachers.

529
00:27:11.960 --> 00:27:14.960
How does that get in the way of their own wellbeing?

530
00:27:15.279 --> 00:27:19.480
Or does it it gets in the way every day

531
00:27:19.640 --> 00:27:22.759
casts Because the people that come to education and the

532
00:27:22.839 --> 00:27:26.799
people that come to caring professions deeply care about the

533
00:27:26.799 --> 00:27:30.480
people that they work with. They bend over backwards to

534
00:27:30.559 --> 00:27:33.599
do what they need to do for their students, and

535
00:27:33.680 --> 00:27:36.799
so this can be the biggest tension when it comes

536
00:27:36.839 --> 00:27:41.319
to staff well being. Is giving staff the space to

537
00:27:41.480 --> 00:27:47.119
say you are human permission to be human with human needs,

538
00:27:47.200 --> 00:27:50.000
because a teacher can walk into a classroom and they

539
00:27:50.079 --> 00:27:53.720
know the needs of every student in that classroom, and

540
00:27:53.759 --> 00:27:57.039
when I ask them what do you need, they look

541
00:27:57.039 --> 00:28:01.240
at me with a blank face. I don't haven't thought

542
00:28:01.240 --> 00:28:03.880
about it. I don't think about it because I'm so

543
00:28:04.039 --> 00:28:07.319
busy doing things for other people. And this is where

544
00:28:07.359 --> 00:28:11.000
I talk about the internal pressures that teachers put on themselves.

545
00:28:11.079 --> 00:28:13.319
I like to call them the big hearted humans. So

546
00:28:13.400 --> 00:28:16.599
the big hearted humans put this internal pressure on themselves.

547
00:28:16.640 --> 00:28:19.119
I call them the five p's. The first one is

548
00:28:19.160 --> 00:28:22.119
to be perfect. They really feel like they need to

549
00:28:22.119 --> 00:28:26.559
be perfect. Teachers love a tick sheet, they love a PDF,

550
00:28:26.720 --> 00:28:31.559
they love formatting documents. You know, honestly, once teachers get

551
00:28:31.559 --> 00:28:35.960
going color coding, that oh color coding. Come come on,

552
00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:40.799
you're talking about language highlight. My happy place office works.

553
00:28:40.920 --> 00:28:44.359
I walk into office and I feel like the heaven's

554
00:28:44.400 --> 00:28:47.480
open and the angels are singing, and it's color and

555
00:28:47.519 --> 00:28:51.759
it's organized. It's just the best for a teacher that

556
00:28:51.839 --> 00:28:54.680
new school year, Like it's fresh, there's no students there

557
00:28:54.759 --> 00:28:57.599
to mack it up, yet, like it's beautiful, like you know,

558
00:28:57.680 --> 00:29:01.680
this perfecting piece that we have, and so often the

559
00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:04.599
students don't care. Other people don't care, but we get

560
00:29:04.640 --> 00:29:07.759
stuck just doing one more thing. One more thing will

561
00:29:07.799 --> 00:29:10.880
take two seconds, it takes two hours, you know. So

562
00:29:10.960 --> 00:29:12.920
this is perfecting. That's the first one of the peas.

563
00:29:13.160 --> 00:29:17.759
The second one is this pleasing. Teachers are in the

564
00:29:17.799 --> 00:29:23.160
habit of pleasing everybody else but themselves. They will avoid

565
00:29:23.359 --> 00:29:27.880
difficult conversations, They will run a mile before having some

566
00:29:28.039 --> 00:29:32.079
challenging conversations because they want to be pleasing. They don't

567
00:29:32.079 --> 00:29:35.480
want to be difficult. They don't want to rock the boat,

568
00:29:35.119 --> 00:29:37.920
the walk on eggs shells. They do all the things

569
00:29:37.920 --> 00:29:39.640
they do the dance to try and make sure that

570
00:29:39.720 --> 00:29:44.279
everybody's pleased. And we know, we know, gas that you

571
00:29:44.400 --> 00:29:49.240
cannot please everyone. No, it's not possible. And the more

572
00:29:49.279 --> 00:29:52.200
we try to please everyone, the more exhausted we become

573
00:29:52.559 --> 00:29:54.880
because we say yes to things that we don't want

574
00:29:54.920 --> 00:29:57.200
to do, or we don't quite say yes, but then

575
00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:59.799
we don't say no. So then we just keep doing more,

576
00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:02.880
more and more, and the busy teachers at school just

577
00:30:03.000 --> 00:30:05.240
get more like, oh, you did so well with the musical,

578
00:30:05.480 --> 00:30:08.160
why don't you run the athletics carnival, and why don't

579
00:30:08.160 --> 00:30:10.400
you do the parents and Friends' night? And why don't

580
00:30:10.440 --> 00:30:12.599
you do this? And why don't you do that? Because

581
00:30:12.839 --> 00:30:14.720
you're good at it. You don't want to say no,

582
00:30:14.880 --> 00:30:18.440
and it's that pleasing. And the third p, which is

583
00:30:18.480 --> 00:30:23.519
really quite sneaky, is a pretending. A lot of teachers pretend.

584
00:30:23.599 --> 00:30:26.680
We want to pretend like, yes, we are educating in

585
00:30:26.680 --> 00:30:29.720
the futureat Yes, I'm on top of it. Yes, I

586
00:30:29.720 --> 00:30:31.200
don't want to be difficult. I don't want to say

587
00:30:31.200 --> 00:30:34.279
so we pretend that it's all okay. And it's interesting

588
00:30:34.359 --> 00:30:37.240
to note that when teachers talk about how difficult it

589
00:30:37.319 --> 00:30:41.359
is in the classroom, people are shocked. It's like, no, no, no,

590
00:30:41.559 --> 00:30:43.240
this is not a once off. This is not a

591
00:30:43.400 --> 00:30:47.319
this school thing. This is a community thing. You go

592
00:30:47.359 --> 00:30:50.759
to schools everywhere around the country, and there are issues

593
00:30:50.839 --> 00:30:54.319
in every single school. I'm yet to find a school

594
00:30:54.519 --> 00:30:57.599
that doesn't have an issue. But we also have a

595
00:30:57.640 --> 00:31:00.599
habit of pretending like all's fine here, I'm not sure

596
00:31:00.599 --> 00:31:04.319
what's happening down there. And then the fourth one, and

597
00:31:04.359 --> 00:31:06.279
I think you may relate to this one, Cass, is

598
00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:10.200
this producing we love a to do list? Yes, we

599
00:31:10.359 --> 00:31:12.960
love a to do list, and nothing gets us more

600
00:31:13.000 --> 00:31:18.880
excited than ticking something off our list. Dopamine boom, boom boom.

601
00:31:18.880 --> 00:31:22.359
And it's so funny because there's something that producers do

602
00:31:22.680 --> 00:31:26.039
that only producers know about. Is they have their list

603
00:31:26.759 --> 00:31:28.960
and then they do something that's not on the list,

604
00:31:29.319 --> 00:31:31.279
and so they write it on the list.

605
00:31:31.599 --> 00:31:32.680
So that they can't take it off.

606
00:31:34.519 --> 00:31:39.759
Boom, yeah, boom. I'm producing. I'm nailing it today. I'm

607
00:31:39.759 --> 00:31:43.200
doing so so well, and so feeling like you always

608
00:31:43.319 --> 00:31:46.480
have to be productive everywhere you go, have to be productive.

609
00:31:46.480 --> 00:31:48.400
I can't stop and eat, I've got things to do.

610
00:31:48.480 --> 00:31:50.359
I can't go to the toilet, I've got things to do.

611
00:31:50.440 --> 00:31:52.960
Feeling like you always have to be productive. And then

612
00:31:53.000 --> 00:31:56.000
the fifth one is feeling like we have to perform.

613
00:31:56.519 --> 00:31:59.039
We have to perform in the staff room, we have

614
00:31:59.079 --> 00:32:01.119
to perform in the class, and we have to perform

615
00:32:01.160 --> 00:32:04.599
on yard duty, on crossing duty, saying hello to parents,

616
00:32:04.640 --> 00:32:09.359
and so together that these five p's are partly our superpower,

617
00:32:09.799 --> 00:32:14.319
but also very disruptive when we overplay it, because we

618
00:32:14.480 --> 00:32:18.880
become so disconnected to ourselves and what we need to

619
00:32:19.000 --> 00:32:22.039
recharge and really be present with our young people.

620
00:32:22.640 --> 00:32:25.920
And Meg I guess as you're talking, I was thinking

621
00:32:25.920 --> 00:32:28.519
about the exhaustion funnel. I don't know if I've ever

622
00:32:28.559 --> 00:32:29.240
talked about that before.

623
00:32:29.240 --> 00:32:31.880
It's something we sort of talk about in mindfulness about

624
00:32:31.880 --> 00:32:33.920
how over time we become more and more and more

625
00:32:33.960 --> 00:32:35.880
depleted and we start letting go of the things that

626
00:32:35.880 --> 00:32:39.440
support our well being because our focus and our perception

627
00:32:39.519 --> 00:32:42.480
and everything just gets narrower. I was also thinking about

628
00:32:42.480 --> 00:32:45.599
Brene Brown saying saying that she has about the most

629
00:32:45.599 --> 00:32:47.920
generous thing that you can do is to set a

630
00:32:47.960 --> 00:32:51.839
boundary and to say no. And I so personally relate

631
00:32:51.880 --> 00:32:56.119
to that, because I know that I am my most

632
00:32:56.319 --> 00:33:00.000
generous when I have clear boundaries and I'm not feeling

633
00:33:00.119 --> 00:33:04.160
resentful about all of the demands on me and people,

634
00:33:04.400 --> 00:33:07.200
you know, take, take, take, which is all. It's not people,

635
00:33:07.279 --> 00:33:09.759
take take, take, it's me saying yes, yes, yes, instead

636
00:33:09.799 --> 00:33:14.400
of actually saying no. So as you're talking, I'm thinking this,

637
00:33:14.400 --> 00:33:17.559
this has to have the effect of causing teachers to

638
00:33:17.599 --> 00:33:22.079
be stressed, overwhelmed, burnt out, and ultimately resentful. As much

639
00:33:22.079 --> 00:33:24.480
as they're doing all of these things because they want

640
00:33:24.519 --> 00:33:26.720
to support teachers and they want to do a great job.

641
00:33:26.759 --> 00:33:29.160
At the end of the day when there is nothing

642
00:33:29.240 --> 00:33:32.400
left to give. This has to have a negative impact,

643
00:33:32.599 --> 00:33:34.680
like it has to be having the opposite effect that

644
00:33:34.759 --> 00:33:36.519
they are seeking to achieve.

645
00:33:36.799 --> 00:33:39.440
It's really fair to say, because we're on a race

646
00:33:39.519 --> 00:33:43.160
to nowhere. The demands of the job are too much

647
00:33:43.359 --> 00:33:46.519
for one person. So learning how to be with the

648
00:33:46.640 --> 00:33:49.359
reality as it is, the system as it is, and

649
00:33:49.400 --> 00:33:52.680
then making choices that are within our best interest, because

650
00:33:52.720 --> 00:33:55.079
when we're at the bottom of that funnel, when we're

651
00:33:55.119 --> 00:33:59.680
exhausted and depleted, we can't be present with students. Students

652
00:33:59.680 --> 00:34:02.160
come to us talking about the issues and you're just

653
00:34:02.240 --> 00:34:05.359
too exhausted. We have this compassion fatigue, and we just

654
00:34:05.519 --> 00:34:08.519
can't be present. And so that's why it's so important

655
00:34:09.000 --> 00:34:12.440
that we say to educators and parents and care is

656
00:34:12.519 --> 00:34:16.079
anyone who's caring for somebody else, how important it is

657
00:34:16.199 --> 00:34:19.400
to charge your battery to take care of you so

658
00:34:19.519 --> 00:34:22.079
then you have the energy to make better choices and

659
00:34:22.199 --> 00:34:25.559
be present in your relationships. And this is the hardest

660
00:34:25.599 --> 00:34:28.400
part of my work cast because people have set up

661
00:34:28.400 --> 00:34:33.480
their identity around being productive, performing these pees, feeling like

662
00:34:33.519 --> 00:34:36.559
you're always there for other people. It can be such

663
00:34:37.039 --> 00:34:40.360
a disruption and so confronting to our sense of self

664
00:34:40.440 --> 00:34:43.119
and our identity when we go to take care of

665
00:34:43.159 --> 00:34:47.519
our well being, because it's so counter culture to what

666
00:34:47.559 --> 00:34:50.039
we're used to doing. We're used to being there for others,

667
00:34:50.480 --> 00:34:52.960
not to be there for ourselves. And so one of

668
00:34:53.000 --> 00:34:56.320
the most important skills that educators can learn is this

669
00:34:56.480 --> 00:35:00.719
self compassion permission to be human. You cannot be everything

670
00:35:00.880 --> 00:35:03.360
to everyone, and what you get done in a day

671
00:35:03.760 --> 00:35:04.239
is enough.

672
00:35:04.639 --> 00:35:06.719
I feel like there's people listening to this right now

673
00:35:06.719 --> 00:35:09.760
who aren't even teachers, who are going relating to every

674
00:35:10.400 --> 00:35:12.239
bit of this conversation.

675
00:35:12.599 --> 00:35:16.079
So whether a teacher or a parent or just a.

676
00:35:15.599 --> 00:35:20.880
People pleasing perfectionist, you're going to relate to this conversation

677
00:35:21.639 --> 00:35:23.960
and we are going to get to the strategies for

678
00:35:24.079 --> 00:35:26.400
how to turn this around because it is called crappy.

679
00:35:26.400 --> 00:35:29.440
They're happy after all. But Meg, what I wanted to

680
00:35:29.480 --> 00:35:31.639
say first was just before we.

681
00:35:31.880 --> 00:35:34.639
Came on air, Meg, we were talking about how I've

682
00:35:34.719 --> 00:35:36.800
obviously moved to the UK and the school year is

683
00:35:36.840 --> 00:35:39.199
just starting here. September is the start of their school year,

684
00:35:39.320 --> 00:35:41.559
so I'm thinking about all the teachers going back to

685
00:35:41.599 --> 00:35:45.000
work here. But in Australia, of course, we're coming to

686
00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:47.800
the end of term three. So I was thinking, Wow,

687
00:35:47.840 --> 00:35:50.920
we are really hitting that time of year where everybody

688
00:35:51.119 --> 00:35:56.000
is teachers particularly are tired. You know, it's like even

689
00:35:56.159 --> 00:36:00.000
and our students, our kids are tired. We're coming, you know,

690
00:36:00.199 --> 00:36:04.199
three quarters into a big year after the stress that

691
00:36:04.239 --> 00:36:06.480
we've all gone through with the pandemic and everything else.

692
00:36:06.559 --> 00:36:09.559
So we're coming to September holidays. I think at the

693
00:36:09.559 --> 00:36:11.559
time that this episode is coming out, so it's a

694
00:36:11.599 --> 00:36:13.840
really it's a nice time of year. I think it's

695
00:36:13.840 --> 00:36:16.039
a perfect time of year for anybody listening to this

696
00:36:16.119 --> 00:36:20.119
who is a teacher or any sort of caring profession probably,

697
00:36:20.199 --> 00:36:22.920
but particularly for teachers to really start to think about

698
00:36:22.960 --> 00:36:26.199
what can I do to support myself to get through

699
00:36:26.239 --> 00:36:28.880
to the end of this year, that last big push,

700
00:36:29.000 --> 00:36:31.440
that last big sprint to the end of the year,

701
00:36:31.519 --> 00:36:34.119
and how do I get through this with my well

702
00:36:34.159 --> 00:36:36.719
being intact or take better care.

703
00:36:36.519 --> 00:36:38.159
Of myself if I'm ticking all the boxes.

704
00:36:38.199 --> 00:36:40.280
As I listened to this conversation and going, yeah, that's man,

705
00:36:40.280 --> 00:36:43.000
I'm completely depleted, burnt out, exhausted, I'm not being my

706
00:36:43.039 --> 00:36:44.320
best self for my students.

707
00:36:45.119 --> 00:36:46.360
What can I do differently?

708
00:36:46.440 --> 00:36:49.800
So what advice have you got for us, Meg, what

709
00:36:49.880 --> 00:36:51.159
strategies can you share?

710
00:36:51.559 --> 00:36:52.679
I know you've got buckets.

711
00:36:53.000 --> 00:36:57.039
Yeah, I've got a toolkit. I've got Bunning's worth of strategies.

712
00:36:57.199 --> 00:36:58.000
I love it.

713
00:36:58.039 --> 00:37:00.880
But my first one and the most important one, and

714
00:37:00.960 --> 00:37:03.719
one that I use every day, is to check in

715
00:37:03.760 --> 00:37:06.360
with your battery. And so I'm going to ask you

716
00:37:06.480 --> 00:37:09.800
five questions and you can check how charged your battery is.

717
00:37:09.880 --> 00:37:12.760
Out of five in the last twenty four hours, have

718
00:37:12.840 --> 00:37:16.360
you had enough sleep for your body in the last

719
00:37:16.360 --> 00:37:19.679
twenty four hours? Have you moved your body in the

720
00:37:19.760 --> 00:37:22.320
last twenty four hours? Have you nourished your body and

721
00:37:22.440 --> 00:37:25.960
hydrated your body in the last twenty four hours? Have

722
00:37:26.039 --> 00:37:29.400
you had some rest or dare I say pleasure or fun? Oh? God?

723
00:37:29.480 --> 00:37:29.920
What is that?

724
00:37:29.960 --> 00:37:32.239
And in the last twenty four hours have you had

725
00:37:32.239 --> 00:37:38.599
some quality connection? So, considering those five pillars of energy,

726
00:37:38.840 --> 00:37:42.199
how charged is your battery? So, Cas, I'm going to

727
00:37:42.239 --> 00:37:45.679
ask you, what do you think is my average answer

728
00:37:46.280 --> 00:37:48.280
to that those five questions?

729
00:37:48.679 --> 00:37:51.280
Well, even as you are asking it, I was thinking, wow,

730
00:37:51.360 --> 00:37:53.440
twenty four hours, that's a short time period. Like if

731
00:37:53.480 --> 00:37:55.480
you asked in the last week or the last month,

732
00:37:55.960 --> 00:37:58.440
maybe it would be a different answer. But mat I'm

733
00:37:58.480 --> 00:38:04.400
thinking for most people, maybe it's a two to three.

734
00:38:04.480 --> 00:38:08.199
For most people it's a two. And when I've asked

735
00:38:08.199 --> 00:38:10.719
this question, it hasn't changed since the pandemic or not,

736
00:38:10.840 --> 00:38:15.519
it has been two across the board. Wow, for students, teachers,

737
00:38:15.880 --> 00:38:19.000
and parents. Everywhere I go and ask this question, the

738
00:38:19.119 --> 00:38:22.760
average response is too. So if our battery is at

739
00:38:22.760 --> 00:38:25.920
a two, that's going to impact the quality of our decisions,

740
00:38:26.199 --> 00:38:29.320
that's going to impact our confidence, that's going to impact

741
00:38:29.519 --> 00:38:33.039
everything in our life. And so the most important strategy

742
00:38:33.360 --> 00:38:36.800
is to get back to basics, to remember that we're

743
00:38:36.880 --> 00:38:40.119
human with these human needs and we can't shortcut them.

744
00:38:40.440 --> 00:38:44.199
We can't talk about high performance if we're not feeling healthy,

745
00:38:44.519 --> 00:38:47.679
if we don't have energy. So getting back to sleep,

746
00:38:47.880 --> 00:38:51.480
that beautiful sleep and wake cycle, and working really hard

747
00:38:51.519 --> 00:38:55.199
to get there, because we all know that young kids, newborns,

748
00:38:55.199 --> 00:38:58.440
we work so hard so they can sleep perfectly. We've

749
00:38:58.440 --> 00:39:01.159
got the room temperature, we've got the togs, we've got

750
00:39:01.199 --> 00:39:04.119
all the things happening for young people. But for us,

751
00:39:04.199 --> 00:39:06.519
we're lying in bed, scrolling on our phones and wondering

752
00:39:06.559 --> 00:39:10.119
why we can't sleep. So really getting serious about our

753
00:39:10.199 --> 00:39:13.480
sleep and just noticing what It's like for you when

754
00:39:13.480 --> 00:39:17.000
you haven't had enough sleep, because once you start to notice,

755
00:39:17.039 --> 00:39:19.719
oh I'm just sleep deprived, there's actually nothing wrong with me.

756
00:39:20.119 --> 00:39:22.400
There's nothing wrong with them. I just need to get

757
00:39:22.400 --> 00:39:25.159
to sleep. It can reduce a lot of drama and

758
00:39:25.239 --> 00:39:28.400
a lot of tension. And we also know that movement

759
00:39:28.599 --> 00:39:32.400
is so powerful and something is better than nothing. So

760
00:39:32.480 --> 00:39:35.480
many people that I work with are always saying that, oh,

761
00:39:35.559 --> 00:39:37.320
I haven't got time for F forty five or I

762
00:39:37.320 --> 00:39:38.880
don't have time for this. So I'm like, you don't

763
00:39:38.920 --> 00:39:41.480
need F forty five. You don't need the best workout gear.

764
00:39:41.599 --> 00:39:43.800
You just need to put your runners on and go

765
00:39:43.880 --> 00:39:45.880
for a walk, go for a walk around the block,

766
00:39:46.000 --> 00:39:49.000
or do a few stretches. We need to move our bodies.

767
00:39:49.039 --> 00:39:52.519
We are designed to move, and we're becoming much more

768
00:39:52.559 --> 00:39:57.039
sedatory than ever before. I feel like the other one

769
00:39:57.440 --> 00:40:01.760
that is really lacking is that so connection. Yeah, And

770
00:40:01.800 --> 00:40:04.239
it's so interesting because this is what teachers tell me

771
00:40:04.320 --> 00:40:07.039
all the time, And people are curious, like, why why

772
00:40:07.119 --> 00:40:09.159
are teachers missing out of social criptu. They're seeing people

773
00:40:09.239 --> 00:40:11.719
all the time, Yes, but a lot of the relationships

774
00:40:11.760 --> 00:40:14.639
are very transactional. It's about who's on that yard duty,

775
00:40:14.679 --> 00:40:18.480
who's covering that class, who's covering that class, where's that worksheet,

776
00:40:18.480 --> 00:40:21.880
where's that and all of this. We're not present in

777
00:40:21.920 --> 00:40:25.079
our relationships, having that time to sit and talk to

778
00:40:25.159 --> 00:40:28.079
each other, have a laugh, actually find out what's going

779
00:40:28.119 --> 00:40:30.440
on in their lives. And it's interesting. Someone once said

780
00:40:30.440 --> 00:40:32.679
to me, Meg, you know, as a teacher, you can

781
00:40:32.840 --> 00:40:36.800
really know your students, but you fail to notice them.

782
00:40:37.039 --> 00:40:37.440
Wow.

783
00:40:37.519 --> 00:40:40.639
When we're stress, we fail to notice them like we

784
00:40:40.719 --> 00:40:44.159
know them, but we don't notice the little things that

785
00:40:44.199 --> 00:40:46.920
have happened in a class, that they're not talking as much,

786
00:40:47.039 --> 00:40:50.639
or that they've withdrawn, or there's that little thing happening

787
00:40:50.679 --> 00:40:53.280
in the back. Because when we're stressed, when we're under pressure,

788
00:40:53.639 --> 00:40:57.239
we're just focused on getting through the content, making this happen.

789
00:40:57.599 --> 00:41:00.320
And so when we step back, we can be much

790
00:41:00.360 --> 00:41:04.159
more present and we can start to really notice what's

791
00:41:04.199 --> 00:41:07.639
going on for our young person and also more importantly,

792
00:41:07.880 --> 00:41:11.639
notice what's going on for us. How charged is my battery?

793
00:41:11.760 --> 00:41:14.920
Is this decision coming from a place of depletion and

794
00:41:15.039 --> 00:41:18.719
exhaustion and avoiding discomfort or is this decision coming from

795
00:41:18.719 --> 00:41:21.639
a place of energy where I can move through discomfort

796
00:41:21.639 --> 00:41:23.280
and I can get my runners on and do the

797
00:41:23.280 --> 00:41:25.079
thing that I know that I don't really want to do,

798
00:41:25.239 --> 00:41:26.800
to do it because I know it will make me

799
00:41:26.880 --> 00:41:29.960
feel better. Things that are worth the effort, and anything

800
00:41:30.360 --> 00:41:33.400
that makes us feel better generally requires a little bit

801
00:41:33.400 --> 00:41:35.960
of effort. So when it comes to eating a Timtam,

802
00:41:36.000 --> 00:41:39.039
I don't require any effort. I don't need motivational music.

803
00:41:39.079 --> 00:41:40.559
I don't need to pump up. I don't need to

804
00:41:40.599 --> 00:41:43.760
think about my mindset. I just eat it and then

805
00:41:43.800 --> 00:41:45.599
you know what, cas, I'll probably go back and eat

806
00:41:45.639 --> 00:41:47.599
another one, and then I might eat another one, and

807
00:41:47.639 --> 00:41:49.760
then before you know it, I'm like the whole packet

808
00:41:49.800 --> 00:41:52.360
is gone. I don't need motivation for that. But we

809
00:41:52.480 --> 00:41:55.599
need energy to go for a walk, we need energy

810
00:41:55.679 --> 00:41:57.719
to make a healthy meal, we need energy to get

811
00:41:57.760 --> 00:42:01.480
ourselves to bed. So it's such a vicious but also

812
00:42:01.679 --> 00:42:04.599
upward spiral depending on where we are when we get

813
00:42:04.639 --> 00:42:05.519
back to basics.

814
00:42:06.360 --> 00:42:09.159
Yeah, I think this is what you're saying. It's one

815
00:42:09.199 --> 00:42:12.079
of the things that I obviously I come across all

816
00:42:12.119 --> 00:42:15.400
the time with my own community, particularly mums, I guess,

817
00:42:15.480 --> 00:42:21.719
and just women juggling. But this idea that you cannot give,

818
00:42:21.960 --> 00:42:24.480
you cannot continue to give to others until you stop

819
00:42:24.519 --> 00:42:28.599
and give to yourself. And just the need to get

820
00:42:28.639 --> 00:42:32.599
over the guilt, this guilt that people parler themselves and

821
00:42:32.679 --> 00:42:37.400
this resistance that people have, this feeling of selfishness if

822
00:42:37.400 --> 00:42:39.920
they're doing something for themselves, and you have to turn

823
00:42:39.960 --> 00:42:43.800
that around and say, you what, doing this for yourself

824
00:42:43.880 --> 00:42:47.440
is actually a favor to every other person around you.

825
00:42:48.079 --> 00:42:50.719
And we have to make that mindset shift that this

826
00:42:50.840 --> 00:42:53.159
is self care is not a selfish thing. It is

827
00:42:53.199 --> 00:42:55.639
the best thing you can do for everybody else.

828
00:42:56.559 --> 00:42:58.719
And we also need to be really clear with people

829
00:42:58.800 --> 00:43:02.480
that you are going to experience resistance. If it's something

830
00:43:02.639 --> 00:43:05.880
that you haven't done regularly, you're going to experience resistance.

831
00:43:05.880 --> 00:43:08.239
So the people that I work with, I say, expect it.

832
00:43:08.400 --> 00:43:10.880
Expect the excuses I don't have enough time, I don't

833
00:43:10.920 --> 00:43:12.920
have the energy, I don't have the right gear, I

834
00:43:12.960 --> 00:43:16.119
need the new gym membership, and then expect guilt. That'll

835
00:43:16.119 --> 00:43:18.880
be the next layer. Expect it, Welcome it. Know that

836
00:43:18.960 --> 00:43:22.000
when guilt shows up, that just shows that you're doing

837
00:43:22.039 --> 00:43:25.199
something differently. It's not a bad thing. We can go

838
00:43:25.239 --> 00:43:27.159
for a walk and feel guilty. We can read a

839
00:43:27.159 --> 00:43:30.159
book for pleasure and feel guilty and eventually will move

840
00:43:30.239 --> 00:43:33.280
through that. But we can't let guilt stop us from

841
00:43:33.320 --> 00:43:35.320
doing what we know it's going to have a positive

842
00:43:35.320 --> 00:43:37.599
impact in our lives and the lives of our students

843
00:43:37.599 --> 00:43:38.320
and our children.

844
00:43:39.239 --> 00:43:41.719
Yeah, and I think also, I say to people, and

845
00:43:41.760 --> 00:43:44.920
then just watch what happens, Like take that curious observer

846
00:43:45.079 --> 00:43:46.840
kind of position, and go, oh, if I do take

847
00:43:46.880 --> 00:43:48.760
this time to sit down and read a book and

848
00:43:48.800 --> 00:43:50.559
I don't attend to that thing right now, or I

849
00:43:50.599 --> 00:43:52.760
don't do that thing that I feel like I should,

850
00:43:53.880 --> 00:43:54.840
then what happens.

851
00:43:55.280 --> 00:43:57.599
And nine times out of ten, you know, the world

852
00:43:57.679 --> 00:43:58.400
doesn't stop.

853
00:43:58.760 --> 00:44:03.360
Everything's actually okay, and you might even notice that things

854
00:44:03.360 --> 00:44:06.679
are better. You know that there's actually a better, different,

855
00:44:06.840 --> 00:44:10.800
more positive outcome when you do start doing those things differently.

856
00:44:11.039 --> 00:44:13.079
And they don't have to be big things. Someone that

857
00:44:13.119 --> 00:44:15.599
I worked with recently, she said, Meg, all I want

858
00:44:15.639 --> 00:44:18.000
to do is make sure that each night I just

859
00:44:18.199 --> 00:44:20.360
wash up, because I've got into this habit of leaving

860
00:44:20.400 --> 00:44:22.440
all the dishes to the morning, and then when I

861
00:44:22.480 --> 00:44:24.840
get up, I've got dishes there, I've got to get

862
00:44:24.880 --> 00:44:26.679
out the door, I've got to get to work, and

863
00:44:26.760 --> 00:44:29.079
I've just noticed that it just makes me feel rubbish.

864
00:44:29.119 --> 00:44:31.199
It's not the great way to start the day. And

865
00:44:31.239 --> 00:44:33.559
so what she started doing was doing the dishes in

866
00:44:33.599 --> 00:44:35.880
the evening. She just made a commitment to herself that

867
00:44:35.920 --> 00:44:38.679
I'll go to bed once the dishes are done. Very simple,

868
00:44:38.880 --> 00:44:42.119
small act. But she could not believe the ripple effect

869
00:44:42.159 --> 00:44:44.400
that in the morning because in the morning she had

870
00:44:44.440 --> 00:44:46.639
this time now, and so she was getting up and

871
00:44:46.639 --> 00:44:49.559
feel like, oh, fresh start, It's a fresh day. And

872
00:44:49.599 --> 00:44:52.880
so making these small tweaks have such a positive ripple

873
00:44:52.880 --> 00:44:55.119
effect because then maybe with that time she might walk,

874
00:44:55.599 --> 00:44:58.199
or she might listen to a podcast or whatever she

875
00:44:58.320 --> 00:45:01.760
wants to do, because there's space and time, so small

876
00:45:01.800 --> 00:45:04.760
tweaks lead to the next change, to the next change,

877
00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:05.760
to the next change.

878
00:45:06.320 --> 00:45:10.159
Meg, this has been so enlightening. Is there anything else

879
00:45:10.199 --> 00:45:13.079
that you want to add before we go? I will

880
00:45:13.159 --> 00:45:15.880
obviously put in the show notes and in the outrow

881
00:45:16.000 --> 00:45:18.440
how people can get in touch with you if they

882
00:45:18.480 --> 00:45:21.599
want to bring you in to increase the wellbeing of

883
00:45:21.639 --> 00:45:23.199
the teacher and student population.

884
00:45:23.880 --> 00:45:25.199
Is there anything else that you would like to add

885
00:45:25.239 --> 00:45:25.679
before we go?

886
00:45:25.760 --> 00:45:29.280
Mag What I'd really like is for people who are

887
00:45:29.280 --> 00:45:32.639
not educators, who are not working in the classroom, to

888
00:45:32.840 --> 00:45:35.920
talk to a teacher, to talk to a school leader

889
00:45:36.000 --> 00:45:39.400
and ask them what is it really like, what challenges

890
00:45:39.480 --> 00:45:43.199
are you experiencing, what is happening in the classroom, what's

891
00:45:43.239 --> 00:45:46.280
happening in the staffroom, and really start to get curious

892
00:45:46.360 --> 00:45:50.119
and learn about our education system and what's working and

893
00:45:50.159 --> 00:45:54.559
what's not. And for the teachers that are listening, permission

894
00:45:54.719 --> 00:45:59.360
to be human. You are doing enough. Let's go from

895
00:45:59.440 --> 00:46:01.239
perfect to good enough.

896
00:46:04.719 --> 00:46:07.159
You can find out more about Meg's work at her

897
00:46:07.199 --> 00:46:12.639
website openminded education dot com. She's on Instagram at Meg

898
00:46:12.800 --> 00:46:14.119
Durham with two.

899
00:46:14.039 --> 00:46:15.280
Underscores at the end.

900
00:46:15.760 --> 00:46:18.119
If you love Crapy to Happy, please do make sure

901
00:46:18.119 --> 00:46:21.079
that you subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and leave

902
00:46:21.159 --> 00:46:21.679
us a review.

903
00:46:21.760 --> 00:46:23.960
It really does help us to find you listeners.

904
00:46:24.239 --> 00:46:26.360
Of course, you can always follow me on Instagram and

905
00:46:26.400 --> 00:46:30.039
please do or TikTok. I'm at cast Done underscore XO

906
00:46:30.239 --> 00:46:32.960
on both of those platforms and for information about all

907
00:46:33.000 --> 00:46:35.639
of my courses, my books, everything else that I'm up to.

908
00:46:35.679 --> 00:46:38.840
My website is Castdone dot com. I cannot wait to

909
00:46:38.880 --> 00:46:45.719
catch you on the next episode of Crappy to Happy.

910
00:46:46.320 --> 00:46:46.760
Listener