July 30, 2024

How to cultivate unshakeable self-confidence

How to cultivate unshakeable self-confidence
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How to cultivate unshakeable self-confidence
How to cultivate unshakeable self-confidence
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Season 12 Psychology & Neuroscience Self-Confidence Personal Growth & Healing

In this episode, Cass recaps what she covered in her live online workshop, "How to Cultivate Unshakeable Self-Confidence".She outlines the key difference between self-doubt and the imposter experience, which runs much deeper, and the importance of having tools and strategies which address both.
She shares her views on the limitations of 'mindset' strategies for cultivating confidence and why emotional work, somatic (body based) tools, and strategies to mine your unconscious beliefs are all necessary for a lasting transformation. She takes you through an exercise to heal old childhood wounds that might be contributing to your feelings of unworthiness.
Connect with Cass:www.crappytohappypod.comhello@crappytohappypod.com 
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypodwww.tiktok.com/crappytohappypod
Join the free 7-day Happiness Challenge:www.cassdunn.com/happiness

Connect with Cass:

www.cassdunn.com
www.instagram.com/cassdunn_xo

Contact Crappy to Happy:

Email: hello@crappytohappypod.com
www.crappytohappypod.com
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypod
www.tiktok.com/@crappytohappypod


Are you a coach, therapist, service provider or solopreneur struggling with self-doubt and imposter syndrome? I'd love to talk to you! (for market research purposes only!)

Book a call with me to share your experience.

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Transcript
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This is Crappya Happy, and I am your host, Cas Dunn.

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I'm a clinical and coaching psychologist and mindfulness meditation teacher

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and of course author of the Crappia Happy books. In

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this show, I bring you conversations with interesting, inspiring, intelligent

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people who are experts in their field and who have

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something of value to share that will help you feel

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less crappy and more happy. Hello and welcome to another

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solo episode of Crappy to Happy. Today, I have had

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the absolute pleasure of running a free live workshop on

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how to cultivate unshakable self confidence. I told you, guys,

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I was running that, and I offered you the opportunity

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to join. Several people did sign up. Obviously, not everybody

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was able to make that session, but it was pure joy.

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I just love being live as live as you can

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be on a zoom screen with a group of people,

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and everybody seemed to gain a lot from the session,

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as short as it was. I mean, it's really hard

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to kind of solve the problem of self doubt and

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imposter syndrome in an hour long session, and so I

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really wanted to use today. I wanted to use this

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opportunity to kind of recap what I covered in that

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live session, because I know that we're all time poor.

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If it's really difficult for you to join in on

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a session like that, and certainly the time was not

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us friendly depending on where you are located, but if

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that wasn't available to you, and you would be interested

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to know what I covered in that session. And also

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full disclosure, I am opening my paid program, which is

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called Beyond Confident. It's actually open for enrollment right now,

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and I also wanted to just kind of give you

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an overview of what is in that program, the way

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it's set up, what you could expect if you were

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thinking of joining something like that, how it will be

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helpful who it's for. But you know clearly I'm not

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here to give you a big sales pitch. I really

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don't want anybody to feel like I'm doing a hard

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sell on this program, because I just feel like if

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it's calls to you, if you feel like, yep, that

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sounds like exactly what I need, then I would love

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to invite you. But I'm certainly not doing a big

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sales pitch. But I think it is really important to

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give some context and some background to how I came

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to be doing what I do now and to share

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with you why I was really driven to create a

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program that I believe gets to the root cause of

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your imposter syndrome or your self doubt, your lack of confidence,

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those core feelings of unworthiness, not enoughness, not belonging. You know,

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they're really pervasive, and they're really widespread. Lots of people

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experience this, and it manifests in different ways in your life.

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We talk about imposter syndrome, and even I talk about

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imposter syndrome largely to do with work and business. If

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you are in your own busines, or if you're working

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in a corporate job, which many of my clients are,

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and you're potentially feeling held back, playing small, not achieving

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what you could be, really gripped by anxiety and self doubt.

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Or if you're choosing or thinking of going out and

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doing something on your own and it's showing up there,

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either in a failure to launch literally or really limiting

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yourself in terms of the fees that you charge, or

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just self promotion. It's a really tough thing. So we

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talk about it a lot in the context of that work, career, business, entrepreneurship,

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but as many people on the call mentioned to me.

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It shows up in socially as well. It shows up

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in relationships, it shows up in parenting. And this is

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really like spoiler like when I came across the pervasiveness

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of this issue, the reason that I focused on it,

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even if we do tend to think of it as

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a career kind of issue, the fact is, underpins that problem,

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those core feelings of unworthiness, undeservingness, not belonging, not being

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good enough, those threads run through every aspect of your life.

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And so I really figure, no matter what the presenting

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problem is that brings you to a program like this

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or has you looking for answers, then the truth is,

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I believe that when you get to the core of

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that issue, then you solve all of the problems like

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it just unravels, because it's the same problem that is

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underpinning the all of the other issues in every other

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aspect of your life. So let me just do this.

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I really just want to recap, hopefully more succinctly, what

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I covered this morning, so that you don't feel like

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you missed out on anything. I also want to tell

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you straight off the top of the hour that there

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is an early bird price for that program, and it

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is a three month intensive with twelve months of support beyond,

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so a total of twelve months asterisk. It's actually lifetime.

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I just don't want to promise you that I'll be

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there with you for the rest of your life in

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case I decided to do something different, but it is lifetime,

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so minimum of twelve months support. It's about a two

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hundred dollars discount if you get in early. So if

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you don't listen to the end, there's a link down

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in the show notes that if you want to go

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and have a look and join, you certainly can. But

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let me tell you now why you might consider joining

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this program and what you might be experiencing. If you're

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completely new to me, you wouldn't have heard this background story.

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If you've been around, you can fast forward this bit.

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But essentially you know I have a background in psychology,

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mindfulness coaching, grew an audience through a podcast and wrote

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some books, etc. And I also was selling some online programs.

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I was selling a mindfulness course and a Crappy to

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Happy basically a positive psychology course, both of which I've retired.

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Now I may bring them back, but I've parked them

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for now. And then at this beginning of the pandemic,

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essentially April twenty twenty, I really was called to move

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away from online programs and offer a membership. That membership

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was called Beyond Happy because it was crappy to Happy,

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and then it was Beyond Happy. Got it. So Beyond

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TAVI kicked off in April twenty twenty, and we covered

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a different topic each month, and there were private podcasts,

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and there was exercises, and there was meditations and etc.

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And it was great, and each month we covered a

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different topic, and then we got to a point where

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we covered imposter syndrome. And when we covered imposter syndrome,

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it struck everybody in the group, and it struck me

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that this was a really, really big issue. And most

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people initially didn't think that it was an issue for them.

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They didn't actually resonate with the term imposter syndrome, which

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is why I don't use imposter syndrome in the title

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of the program actually, But once we started talking about

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how it presents in life and in work, then everybody

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could really see how this was playing out for them,

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and what they realized was that they were constantly second

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guessing themselves over working, overfunctioning, allowing themselves to be completely

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crippled by maladaptive perfectionism, you know, stressing all the time,

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like even outside of work, not really being able to

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let go of work, just overfunctioning generally and on the

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flip side, avoiding, procrastinating, and some people even recognize that

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they had opted out of opportunities that had been presented

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to them. And overall there was this It really did

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just boil down to this core feeling of not I

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don't believe I can do that, but who am I

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to do that? There was more a sense of this worthiness,

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this identity issue, this belonging issue, feeling of not being

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enough or not being okay as you are to have

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a place in any room, even though you potentially, you know,

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look good on paper, got all the qualifications, got the degrees,

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got the runs on the board, but at your core,

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still don't believe that you really are deserving or that

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you really belong in those spaces. I really it was

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a revelation to me, It was a revelation to a

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lot of people, and I kind of made up my

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mission to dig into this topic and fast forward. And

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that's where we are now with me doing the work

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that I do. So let's talk about first and foremost

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what is self doubt and what is imposter syndrome? Because

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they are different. One is more extreme example of the other,

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But how do they present differently? Because these terms get

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used interchangeably all the time, I see people saying they

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have imposter syndrome, when really what they have is pretty

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standard self doubt because they're doing something that they have

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never done before. Normal if I am starting a business

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and I've never run a business, and I feel that's

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normal to kind of question can I do this? If

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I'm even getting a promotion, you know, like, even though

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you might know that you've got all the runs on

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the board and the experience in the background, you can

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still quiver a little and think, oh, you know, it's

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a bit daunting to step up into a bigger role.

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When you experience self doubt, there is a part of

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you that really knows that even though this feels scary,

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I know that once I start doing it, like I

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know I'll be able to find the resources that I need.

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I know I'll be able to find my feet, and

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that once I start doing it, I'll feel okay. Like

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the experience gives you the reassurance that actually you can

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do it. You're able to internalize that achievement and that

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success and let that bolster your self confidence from within.

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That's all really normal and healthy. If you never experience

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self doubt when you are going to do something new

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and challenging that you have never done before, I would

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be concerned about that. So that's really normal. Imposter syndrome

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is the persistent belief that you are not as smart

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or talented, or capable or experienced as other people think

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you are, despite all evidence to the contrary, despite all

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evidence to the contrary. So the fact that you are

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doing it, you're acing the course, you've got the job,

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you are killing it, You're getting rave reviews in all

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of your performance appraisals, you are doing what it takes.

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You are demonstrating your expertise, your experience, your knowledge, your qualifications.

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People are telling you you're great in relationships, people want

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to be with you, but deep down you don't believe

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it despite all evidence to the contrary. You know before

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we talked about you go out and you do the thing,

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and you are successful, you achieve, and then you are

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able to internalize that and take that as evidence that

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actually you can do it, you are okay. That helps

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to bolster your confidence. The thing about imposter syndrome is

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that you can have the runs on the board, get

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the results, have the achievements and the success, but you

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fail to internalize that success. You bat away success. I

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know I've talked about this before. I'm repeating myself, but

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I'm going to get to you know what to do

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about this in a minute, so that you bat away

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success and you attribute it to all sorts of outside circumstances.

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You will often attribute it to either luck or fluke.

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Right place, right time, just took a shine to me,

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somebody liked me, I got a foot in the door,

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my dad knew someone, my friend introduced me. Just got lucky.

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There's that kind of attribution where you attribute your success

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to luck or fluke or just some just miracle, and

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any time now people are going to realize that you're

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not that smart or the other one is that you

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are so anxious about feeling not good enough that you overfunction,

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You over prepare, You spend hours and hours way beyond

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what other people would consider to be reasonable, overthink everything,

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turn everything into a big deal. You feel constantly overwhelmed,

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and constantly on and busy and extending yourself in order

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to get the job done. And so therefore, when you're successful,

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you don't internalize that as being evidence of your capability.

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You attribute it to how hard you had to work

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to get there, and you assume that if you didn't

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work that hard, if you weren't overachieving, if you really

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did just do what needed to be done and relaxed

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about the whole thing, that that wouldn't have cut it.

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The only way you got to be successful was because

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of how much extra effort you made, which means which

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I either path that you go down if you overfunction

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and you are successful, you will continue to believe that

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the only reason for your success is because you overfunction.

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You attribute your success to effort, not ability, which means

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that in the future, if you're offered another opportunity, offered

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a promotion, then you assume there is this internalized belief

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that the only way you'll be able to make that

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a success is if you continue to overwork. And I've

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seen people turned down jobs and turned down really great

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opportunities because the assumption is in order to do that,

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in order to be successful at that I would have

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to like have no social life, I would never see

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my family, I would be stressed out all the time.

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I could never do it in the hours that I

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want to work. It's an assumption, it's not a fact.

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They assume that the only way they could be successful

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is by completely overextending themselves, and therefore they turned down opportunities.

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If you attribute your success to luck, just got lucky,

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you just in the right place at the right time,

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then your success is kind of on shaky ground. You

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can't actually assume that you're going to get lucky again.

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You can't assume that you'll be able to repeat this

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because it was a pure fluke. And again, so therefore,

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next opportunity presents itself, you are completely flooded with self

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doubt and anxiety again because you haven't internalized that actually, no,

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you did, that, you achieved, that, you got the wins

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that you've got so far, because you are inherently capable,

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because you are enough, you know enough, you do enough.

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You don't have to be or do anything more. So

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that's how imposter syndrome is different. And so that is

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also why no matter how successful you become with imposter syndrome,

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it never goes away. Because in fact, the more successful

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you become, the more visible become, the more expectation that

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is put on you, the more fearful you become. That

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this is going to be the moment that everybody finds out,

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This will be when it all comes crashing down because

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you can't you know, the jigs up basically, and so again,

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this is why many people will turn down opportunities. So

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I know that I've explained that before, but if you're

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new around here, then hopefully that's a helpful explanation. Now.

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The reason that I started to want to do the

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work that I wanted to do was because when I

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started to look into well, what do we do about this?

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How do we treat this? How do we overcome this?

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All of the advice that was out there was to

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do with mindset, And let me tell you, experts around

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the world will tell you you've just got to change your

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thinking in order to fix this problem. To solve this problem,

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you're just buying into some faulty belief that you need

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to be perfect, or that you need to do another course,

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or you need to know you're not allowed to do it,

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not allowed to ask for help. You've got to do

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it all on your own. These are all faulty ways

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of thinking, and if you can shift that belief, then

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you'll be fine. Imposter syndrome won't be a problem for you.

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You anymore now, I don't know about you. And we

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had this chat in my live session this morning. Everybody

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there agreed with me. Telling yourself to change your thoughts

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and think of different thought and just don't believe that

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story hasn't done any of us much good. Doesn't seem

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to cut it when we're talking about making lasting change,

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which is why I, you know, it was really determined

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to find a solution that does work because the other

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bit of evidence out there is to do with behavior,

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and this is you know, this is all valid. It's

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all valid for self doubt. Let me say that it

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is all valid if what you have is kind of

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garden variety self doubt. The other one is fake it

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till you make it. Like just act confident, present yourself

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as confident, you know, act like you know what you're doing.

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Just do the thing, step out of your comfort zone

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and do the thing, and you'll quickly find that actually

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you can do the thing, or you can get help

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from somebody, or you can ask somebody you can find

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out what you need to know and you'll be fine.

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And again, if you can do the thing even though

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you really are scared, feel the fear, and do it

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anyway essentially, then if you're able to do that and

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you do do a good job, go you. Then if

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you are able to internalize that as evidence of your

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inherent capability, happy days, Happy days. Like I said before, though,

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if it's imposter syndrome, you're not going to be able

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to internalize that success and impostors are faking it. They

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feel as if they are faking it every single day.

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Telling somebody who suffers genuinely with imposter syndrome to fake

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it till you make it worst advice ever. They already

304
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feel like a fraud. They already feel like they're fooling everyone,

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So telling them to continue faking it unhelpful, largely unhelpful.

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So this is why I don't think that that advice

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is necessarily useful. Now, there are elements of that advice

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that I think is useful. All I'm saying is that

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I think that there are more layers that need to

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be worked through in order to get to a lasting

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solution or a lasting trance formation and You may never

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get to a point in your life where you're completely

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free from this, but you can certainly get it to

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a point where it is not an issue for you

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that gets in your way, not something that hijacks your

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thoughts and your emotional state and really keeps you in

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that state of stress and overwhelm. Like, you can absolutely

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get it down to a more manageable level so that

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when it does show up, you've got tools and strategies

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that you can really quickly manage it and bring it

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under control, bring it back into a perspective, and get

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on with living your best, happiest life. Now, having said

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all of that, I have been pretty vocal about the

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fact that this whole change of thought business like I've

325
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never been a fan, and I shared with the group

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today that you know, even when I was training in

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clinical psychology, doing my master's in clinical psychology, when we

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were learning about CBT, I honestly I struggled. I was like,

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are you telling me that this is the best that

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we've got, Because at the time I was doing my

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master's in clinical psychology, I had already been doing coaching,

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and I had a master's in coaching, so cology prior

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to that, and I already had been working with people

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as a coach for several years, and I found this

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whole change you're limiting beliefs thing not that effective. And

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I was really, truthfully kind of struggling with how am

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I actually going to help people to change, because I

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know that this shit isn't going to cut it. And

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so I discovered mindfulness and act acceptance of commitment therapy

340
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and that really resonated with me, and that's kind of

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the path that I took, and happily since then, I've

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found lots of other things that have I've learned and

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things that I have studied and trained in and that

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I'm able to really feel confident do work am We're

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talking about things like obviously mindfulness and meditation, but also

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body based work, somatic work, regulating your nervous system, EFT tapping,

347
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doing just some of that deeper emotional work I'm just

348
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in the moment looking at like narrative work. There's a

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whole lot of other processes and tools that are out there,

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and I think combined that can be really effective. We

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didn't learn all of those back when I was doing

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my training. But having said that, despite me kind of

353
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being a little bit. I'm not anti CBT. I'm anti

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CBT being the single solution for anything, because I don't

355
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think it is. Having said that, there are some aspects

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of CBT cognitive therapy managing your thinking, which are really

357
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really useful. So I want to first of all, this

358
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is one thing I shared in the workshop today that

359
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I want to share with you now. The way that

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we develop core beliefs is from our earliest experiences in life,

361
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our interactions with our caregivers, and then later as we

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grow up and we go to school and we experience

363
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certain events in life, we witness events in life, we

364
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get an education, you know, certain things that happened to us,

365
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and all of this stuff helps to shape our core beliefs.

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Core beliefs are dormant until they get activated in the moment.

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They are like the operating system that's running you, like

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the software that kind of runs you. You're not really

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aware of it. It's just there in the background influencing

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you and influencing decisions and influencing what you think and

371
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how you behave So I do think it's worth really

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doing some work to dig into what some of these

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core beliefs are that you might be carrying because, like

374
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I said, I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, I'm

375
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not deserving. All of these are examples of core beliefs,

376
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and absolutely we need to be unpacking what those are

377
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and doing some work to dismantle them. I guess my

378
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issue is that when I walk into a meeting, and

379
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I walk into a room and somebody asks me to

380
00:20:31.079 --> 00:20:34.720
give a presentation, and my first thought is, oh, my god,

381
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I can't do that. That would be a disaster. I

382
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am hopeless at that kind of thing. That's not a

383
00:20:40.200 --> 00:20:43.079
core belief, that's just the automatic thought that I had

384
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in that moment. There are many levels of beliefs before

385
00:20:46.160 --> 00:20:49.119
I get to the root, like the really deep core

386
00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:52.720
belief of not being good enough, not being smart. So

387
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let me just talk through what they are. So the

388
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core belief, like I said, is it's shaped from your

389
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earth least experiences, and your core beliefs relate to yourself,

390
00:21:03.839 --> 00:21:07.039
other people, and the world. So a core belief about

391
00:21:07.079 --> 00:21:09.960
yourself could be negative, could be positive. You'll have loads

392
00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:12.519
of them. So a cool belief about myself could be

393
00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:17.640
that I'm smart, I'm capable, I'm cute and lovable, I'm

394
00:21:17.759 --> 00:21:22.079
a good person. I deserve good things. Ah, my opinions matter.

395
00:21:22.279 --> 00:21:24.359
I've got something to say, I've got something of value

396
00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:28.079
to contribute. I am valued, I am loved. That's all

397
00:21:28.119 --> 00:21:31.240
core beliefs about me. You could equally have core beliefs

398
00:21:31.279 --> 00:21:34.920
around I'm not that smart, I'm not capable. Nobody's interested

399
00:21:34.920 --> 00:21:38.720
in my opinions. My opinions don't count for anything. I

400
00:21:38.759 --> 00:21:42.200
mess everything up. I am not worthy, I don't deserve

401
00:21:42.240 --> 00:21:45.799
good things. I'm ugly. All core beliefs all formed in

402
00:21:45.839 --> 00:21:49.119
your earliest earliest experiences and then shaped and molded as

403
00:21:49.119 --> 00:21:51.880
you grow up. Then you have core beliefs about other people.

404
00:21:52.359 --> 00:21:55.319
So these are just the general assumptions, the things that

405
00:21:55.400 --> 00:21:58.240
you fundamentally believe to be true that you never really question.

406
00:21:58.640 --> 00:22:00.440
That just kicking around there in the back of your

407
00:22:00.440 --> 00:22:03.680
head about other people. So they could be that people

408
00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:07.640
are trustworthy, people are inherently good, I can rely on

409
00:22:07.720 --> 00:22:11.279
other people. People are friendly, people are kind. It could

410
00:22:11.279 --> 00:22:14.480
be all men of bastards, that kind of thing. It

411
00:22:14.519 --> 00:22:17.440
could be about rich people. We had this come up

412
00:22:17.480 --> 00:22:20.720
in the meeting about money. You know, maybe rich people

413
00:22:20.720 --> 00:22:23.480
are selfish or greedy, you know, So it's other people

414
00:22:23.599 --> 00:22:26.920
are the groups of people. It does, you know, stereotypes

415
00:22:27.000 --> 00:22:30.599
kind of full and biases full into that as well.

416
00:22:30.680 --> 00:22:33.039
Fat people are lazy, you know, all these kinds of

417
00:22:33.079 --> 00:22:38.200
care beliefs. They can be you know, people are fundamentally untrustworthy,

418
00:22:39.759 --> 00:22:42.319
people can't be relied on. People are out to get me,

419
00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:45.759
people are people are rude, people are mean, people aren't kind.

420
00:22:46.359 --> 00:22:48.680
So that kind of thing, you get it. Then there

421
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are core beliefs about the world around you. Life is fun,

422
00:22:53.160 --> 00:22:57.640
the universe is friendly, life is fair, There are always

423
00:22:57.640 --> 00:23:01.480
opportunities available. The world is a safe play or on

424
00:23:01.559 --> 00:23:03.680
the flip side, the world is not a safe place.

425
00:23:04.119 --> 00:23:06.839
Nothing ever turns out there's not enough to go around.

426
00:23:07.359 --> 00:23:10.799
There are never opportunities. You know. Some of these will overlap,

427
00:23:10.839 --> 00:23:14.039
you know, but essentially yourself, other people, and the world

428
00:23:14.079 --> 00:23:17.880
these are core. Based on those core beliefs, you'll then

429
00:23:17.920 --> 00:23:20.279
have a whole lot of kind of rules like these

430
00:23:20.359 --> 00:23:23.640
intermediate sort of beliefs. But there'll be things like maybe

431
00:23:23.680 --> 00:23:28.799
my core belief is that laziness is bad maybe in

432
00:23:28.839 --> 00:23:31.440
my family, like if you were sitting around doing nothing,

433
00:23:31.599 --> 00:23:34.039
like being lazy was like the worst thing that you

434
00:23:34.079 --> 00:23:38.400
could be, and so therefore I have like this intermediate belief,

435
00:23:38.400 --> 00:23:40.519
which is a rule that I need to be doing

436
00:23:40.559 --> 00:23:42.960
something all the time because God forbid I should be

437
00:23:43.000 --> 00:23:45.240
sitting down, because that would be lazy, and lazy is bad.

438
00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:49.839
So then that develops into this. You know, we all

439
00:23:49.880 --> 00:23:53.880
have these kind of cognitive distortions, these patterns of unhelpful thinking,

440
00:23:53.960 --> 00:23:58.039
all or nothing thinking, black and white thinking, generalizations, crystal

441
00:23:58.079 --> 00:24:00.440
ball reading, you know, anticipating what's going to happen in

442
00:24:00.440 --> 00:24:02.519
the future, assumptions that we make. These are all just

443
00:24:02.640 --> 00:24:05.759
examples of cognitive distortions, but they will also come out

444
00:24:05.839 --> 00:24:09.119
of these intermediate beliefs or these rules. So we're up

445
00:24:09.160 --> 00:24:11.519
to level three. We've got the core belief that we've

446
00:24:11.559 --> 00:24:13.839
got the rules that you kind of come up with

447
00:24:14.160 --> 00:24:17.480
to navigate life and other people in the world, These

448
00:24:17.599 --> 00:24:21.519
rules that you establish about how you should be and

449
00:24:21.559 --> 00:24:24.000
what you should do, and how other people should behave

450
00:24:24.039 --> 00:24:26.359
and what they should be doing, and then you have

451
00:24:26.440 --> 00:24:30.799
these cognitive distortions. I always I can never sit down

452
00:24:31.359 --> 00:24:34.839
to relax, and if I do sit down to relax,

453
00:24:35.160 --> 00:24:38.519
then my automatic thought is I'm just being lazy. I

454
00:24:38.559 --> 00:24:40.240
really should get up and do that washing, I should

455
00:24:40.279 --> 00:24:43.720
get up and clean the kitchen. So just one really

456
00:24:43.759 --> 00:24:47.839
simplistic example, but there's that sort of layers of thinking

457
00:24:48.400 --> 00:24:51.119
will spring out of any core belief that you have,

458
00:24:51.400 --> 00:24:53.440
and they're running your show. They're running your life every

459
00:24:53.480 --> 00:24:55.880
time you do something impulsively or erect to something, or

460
00:24:55.920 --> 00:24:59.680
judge somebody or judge yourself. Anytime that you get upset

461
00:24:59.680 --> 00:25:01.680
with the friend because she didn't return your call in time,

462
00:25:01.720 --> 00:25:04.720
you've got some rule running about what she should have done,

463
00:25:04.880 --> 00:25:07.119
what it is to be a good friend, or what

464
00:25:07.160 --> 00:25:10.680
it says about you and your worthiness as a friend.

465
00:25:11.400 --> 00:25:13.839
Life is happening all the time, and you are filtering

466
00:25:13.960 --> 00:25:18.519
and making judgments and opinions and reinforcing existing beliefs a

467
00:25:18.519 --> 00:25:22.559
lot of the time based on all of this programming

468
00:25:22.599 --> 00:25:24.920
that's running, But most of the time you're not questioning it.

469
00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:28.920
So it is absolutely worthwhile digging into this stuff and

470
00:25:28.960 --> 00:25:31.519
holding it up to the light and questioning where some

471
00:25:31.599 --> 00:25:33.680
of this came from. Now, what I was going to

472
00:25:33.720 --> 00:25:36.839
say before is sometimes like the issue is that when

473
00:25:37.240 --> 00:25:39.000
you say you see a psychologist or you see a

474
00:25:39.039 --> 00:25:42.279
coach and they say to you, well, what happened, Well,

475
00:25:42.359 --> 00:25:44.640
I got asked to run the meeting, and I froze

476
00:25:44.680 --> 00:25:47.400
because I can't do that I can't speak in public.

477
00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:50.440
It's just not I will not do a good job.

478
00:25:50.759 --> 00:25:53.559
A CBT approach would be, well, what was the story

479
00:25:53.599 --> 00:25:55.640
that you told yourself? Well, I told myself that I'm

480
00:25:55.720 --> 00:25:58.039
terrible at these kinds of things. It would be humiliating,

481
00:25:58.039 --> 00:25:59.839
It world be a disaster. The people would judge me

482
00:26:00.200 --> 00:26:02.559
and criticize me, and it would be awful, and I

483
00:26:02.599 --> 00:26:06.000
can't do it. So then we start to challenge that

484
00:26:06.039 --> 00:26:10.319
automatic thought. But there's so much more underneath, Like that

485
00:26:10.440 --> 00:26:12.440
automatic thought was just the thing that popped up in

486
00:26:12.440 --> 00:26:15.160
that moment, and there'll be plenty of other automatic thoughts

487
00:26:15.160 --> 00:26:17.640
that pop up all the time in life in response

488
00:26:17.680 --> 00:26:22.279
to certain situations. Challenging the automatic thought, or even you know,

489
00:26:22.359 --> 00:26:24.640
being mindful and letting go of the automatic thought because

490
00:26:24.640 --> 00:26:26.759
thoughts aren't facts, and we can take a breath and

491
00:26:26.839 --> 00:26:30.000
let that go and realize that that's not a fact,

492
00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:32.640
it's not true. But even if we're working at that

493
00:26:32.720 --> 00:26:36.160
level of these automatic thoughts and cognitive distortions, none of

494
00:26:36.160 --> 00:26:39.000
it is really kind of getting to the root cause

495
00:26:39.039 --> 00:26:41.160
of them, if you know what I mean, Like, it's

496
00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:44.319
not really getting to that core belief. And I understand

497
00:26:44.319 --> 00:26:47.559
that this is all still helpful, Like, the best pathway

498
00:26:47.599 --> 00:26:50.359
into those core beliefs is to examine all of these

499
00:26:50.400 --> 00:26:53.759
automatic thoughts that you have. Probably more effective is to

500
00:26:53.839 --> 00:26:56.279
actually look at your life, actually look at how you're

501
00:26:56.319 --> 00:26:59.440
behaving in life, because what you're doing in life, how

502
00:26:59.480 --> 00:27:02.920
you're interrp acting with people, the way you operate in

503
00:27:02.960 --> 00:27:06.519
the world is probably a more direct path to uncovering

504
00:27:06.759 --> 00:27:09.960
what core beliefs are running the show than actually asking

505
00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:12.920
you to tell me what you think, because the core

506
00:27:12.960 --> 00:27:15.720
belief stuff is kind of unconscious, you know, whereas the

507
00:27:15.759 --> 00:27:18.160
thoughts that you think they're very conscious, you can tell

508
00:27:18.160 --> 00:27:21.759
me what they are. But digging in deeper to all

509
00:27:21.799 --> 00:27:24.240
of that underneath program, a lot of that is so

510
00:27:24.599 --> 00:27:28.079
unconscious you're not even aware of it. So that's my

511
00:27:28.160 --> 00:27:30.359
first point. If we're going to talk about mindset, if

512
00:27:30.400 --> 00:27:32.240
we're going to talk about changing your thoughts, then we

513
00:27:32.279 --> 00:27:33.720
need to be doing the work to get to the

514
00:27:33.839 --> 00:27:37.519
deeper thoughts. We need to be getting trying to really

515
00:27:37.559 --> 00:27:41.000
dig into those unconscious beliefs for that to be effective,

516
00:27:41.279 --> 00:27:44.559
and to then have strategies for unraveling those and questioning

517
00:27:44.640 --> 00:27:47.720
and dismantling them. But I don't necessarily think that just

518
00:27:47.799 --> 00:27:50.880
looking at these automatic thoughts. I mean it's useful, don't

519
00:27:50.880 --> 00:27:53.799
get me wrong. Every psychologist listening God please don't come

520
00:27:53.799 --> 00:27:56.279
for me. Of course it's useful. But I think that

521
00:27:56.279 --> 00:27:58.039
we need to be doing some deeper work to get

522
00:27:58.039 --> 00:28:01.680
to the deeper core beliefs. Now, the second important point

523
00:28:01.880 --> 00:28:03.720
that I would make, and that I did make in

524
00:28:03.799 --> 00:28:07.640
my workshop today, was that all of these core beliefs,

525
00:28:07.680 --> 00:28:11.960
all of these ideas that you formed in your early experience,

526
00:28:12.359 --> 00:28:17.400
they developed as an adaptive strategy to keep you safe

527
00:28:17.400 --> 00:28:21.000
in the world. So when we get to grown up status,

528
00:28:21.480 --> 00:28:23.480
when we get to adult status, and we've got all

529
00:28:23.480 --> 00:28:26.880
of these old programming running, and we're limiting ourselves, and

530
00:28:26.880 --> 00:28:30.720
we're anxious, and we're overwhelmed and running these programs of

531
00:28:30.799 --> 00:28:34.000
perfectionism and performing and people pleasing and hiding and feeling

532
00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:36.200
like we're not good enough. Like we can get really

533
00:28:36.240 --> 00:28:40.880
down on ourselves for having these limitations. I guess these

534
00:28:41.000 --> 00:28:43.960
flaws is how we see them. Really, they're holding us

535
00:28:43.960 --> 00:28:48.359
back in life, and we do everything we can to

536
00:28:49.680 --> 00:28:53.240
run from them, to hide them, to beat them into submission,

537
00:28:53.400 --> 00:28:55.880
to avoid them. So, for example, if I feel like

538
00:28:55.960 --> 00:28:58.960
I'm not good enough, I'm so busy running to perform

539
00:28:58.960 --> 00:29:01.599
and to perfect and to please in order to not

540
00:29:01.640 --> 00:29:05.279
feel that way that I'm not actually stopping to actually

541
00:29:05.319 --> 00:29:09.720
go into being curious and exploring where that's coming from

542
00:29:09.920 --> 00:29:12.599
and what purpose it might be serving for me. We

543
00:29:12.680 --> 00:29:15.559
don't like these thoughts and feelings that are keeping us

544
00:29:15.559 --> 00:29:18.039
stuck and limited. We want to get rid of them.

545
00:29:18.279 --> 00:29:20.200
You know, if you're thinking about enrolling in my course,

546
00:29:20.480 --> 00:29:22.039
there's a big part of you that wants to be

547
00:29:22.200 --> 00:29:24.400
rid of all of that, so that you want to

548
00:29:24.440 --> 00:29:29.359
be free from all of that. And the paradox is

549
00:29:29.599 --> 00:29:32.000
that to be free from it, sometimes we actually have

550
00:29:32.039 --> 00:29:35.200
to go in really close to it, get really curious

551
00:29:35.240 --> 00:29:38.039
about it, and really give it space to be seen

552
00:29:38.160 --> 00:29:42.559
and felt and heard and expressed. And this is also mindfulness.

553
00:29:42.559 --> 00:29:44.759
And this is also what I have always loved about

554
00:29:44.799 --> 00:29:47.279
mindfulness is that mindfulness is not I mean, it's more

555
00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:50.880
than mindfulness. There are other techniques, but it's not about

556
00:29:50.920 --> 00:29:53.240
going off to a happy place and meditating and chilling

557
00:29:53.240 --> 00:29:55.680
out and just disconnecting from all of the stresses and

558
00:29:55.680 --> 00:29:58.359
worries in life. It is actually about learning to sit

559
00:29:58.440 --> 00:30:02.160
and be really present with what is deeply uncomfortable, being

560
00:30:02.200 --> 00:30:06.079
able to be present with what is hard, not running

561
00:30:06.079 --> 00:30:09.039
from it, not going to shopping, not going to Facebook scrolling,

562
00:30:09.079 --> 00:30:11.559
not going to a glass of wine to avoid what

563
00:30:11.559 --> 00:30:14.079
we're feeling, but actually being present to what we're feeling.

564
00:30:14.559 --> 00:30:17.440
So what I'm hoping and aiming to do in my

565
00:30:17.559 --> 00:30:21.319
program is to take that even one step further, actually

566
00:30:21.480 --> 00:30:23.839
really get in and get curious about what is this

567
00:30:24.200 --> 00:30:27.559
trying to teach me? These core feelings of unworthiness, How

568
00:30:27.559 --> 00:30:31.200
did they develop, where did they start? What is their

569
00:30:31.279 --> 00:30:35.160
higher purpose for me? What does this part of me

570
00:30:35.279 --> 00:30:38.640
that feels unworthy and that keeps me spinning my wheels,

571
00:30:38.799 --> 00:30:42.759
or keeps me overworking and overperforming, and keeps me constantly

572
00:30:42.759 --> 00:30:45.400
spiraling and anxiety? What does it want for me? And

573
00:30:45.440 --> 00:30:47.319
we did an exercise. In fact, we might even do

574
00:30:47.359 --> 00:30:50.880
it now. Not if you're driving, obviously, not if you're

575
00:30:50.920 --> 00:30:54.119
walking the dog, but if you're sitting somewhere where you

576
00:30:54.119 --> 00:30:56.359
can be present. You might want to try this yourself,

577
00:30:57.559 --> 00:31:01.200
where you actually canneged in with that core feeling of unworthiness,

578
00:31:01.400 --> 00:31:06.880
the core feeling of not enoughness, or something that's caused

579
00:31:06.880 --> 00:31:11.119
you to feel worried or anxious recently, somewhere where you

580
00:31:11.119 --> 00:31:13.599
feel a bit stuck or like you're not doing a

581
00:31:13.599 --> 00:31:15.799
good enough job, or you are out of your depth.

582
00:31:17.000 --> 00:31:20.720
Go to that feeling in your body, take a breath,

583
00:31:20.759 --> 00:31:22.359
close yourss. I would invite you to close your eyes

584
00:31:22.359 --> 00:31:24.079
if it is safe and comfortable for you to do that,

585
00:31:24.200 --> 00:31:26.119
And if you don't want to do that, then I

586
00:31:26.160 --> 00:31:28.240
would maybe put a marker on this part of this

587
00:31:28.359 --> 00:31:30.799
podcast and come back to it later when you can,

588
00:31:32.160 --> 00:31:37.359
because I think it's worth doing, and that is to

589
00:31:37.440 --> 00:31:43.720
take a breath, connect with that feeling, and now ask yourself,

590
00:31:43.799 --> 00:31:51.319
is this feeling new or is it familiar? I'm pretty

591
00:31:51.359 --> 00:31:53.400
much going to guarantee that you tell me it's familiar,

592
00:31:54.519 --> 00:32:00.680
and without trying to overthink it or go looking for something.

593
00:32:01.000 --> 00:32:05.200
Is there a memory or an image or anything that

594
00:32:05.240 --> 00:32:15.680
comes to mind as you connect with that feeling. And

595
00:32:15.759 --> 00:32:18.359
you may have an image or a memory. You may not,

596
00:32:18.519 --> 00:32:25.880
that's fine, it doesn't matter. But if you do, if

597
00:32:25.920 --> 00:32:28.559
you connect, and if you resonate with a younger part

598
00:32:28.599 --> 00:32:30.680
of you that felt like this, a younger version of

599
00:32:30.720 --> 00:32:33.480
you that felt like this, then I would get curious

600
00:32:33.519 --> 00:32:36.920
and this might feel weird, but just trust me. You

601
00:32:37.000 --> 00:32:41.680
might want to ask her what does she need? What

602
00:32:41.720 --> 00:32:44.240
does she need from you, Well, what does she need

603
00:32:44.240 --> 00:32:52.920
that she never got? What does she want to say

604
00:32:53.079 --> 00:32:59.920
or he I'm sorry, because maybe he or she is saying,

605
00:33:00.839 --> 00:33:05.720
I'm scared. I feel like nobody's listening to me, nobody's

606
00:33:05.759 --> 00:33:12.359
paying attention to me. This is scary, I don't feel safe.

607
00:33:12.559 --> 00:33:18.160
I need to be protected. I'm worried I'm going to

608
00:33:18.160 --> 00:33:29.400
get in trouble, whatever it might be. And then, as

609
00:33:29.440 --> 00:33:35.480
your adult self, you're fully adult, well resourced, grown up

610
00:33:35.519 --> 00:33:40.279
with a fully formed prefrontal cortex and a big heart.

611
00:33:40.799 --> 00:33:44.279
What would you say to her? How would you reassure

612
00:33:44.400 --> 00:33:47.480
that younger part of you that feels afraid and scared

613
00:33:47.480 --> 00:33:52.240
and feels like not enough and is worried, doesn't feel safe.

614
00:33:53.079 --> 00:33:56.119
Could you protect her? Could you offer her some reassurance?

615
00:34:09.480 --> 00:34:13.639
Could you give that younger part of you what you

616
00:34:13.760 --> 00:34:23.519
never got at that time, and you know, just reassure

617
00:34:23.559 --> 00:34:26.920
that younger part of you that you've got this now,

618
00:34:26.960 --> 00:34:30.679
it's okay. She doesn't need to keep on tugging at

619
00:34:30.679 --> 00:34:34.639
you and reminding you and calling out, you know, invoking

620
00:34:34.719 --> 00:34:39.440
this anxiety in you, because that's all she's trying to do.

621
00:34:39.480 --> 00:34:41.280
She's all she's trying to do is to protect you,

622
00:34:43.760 --> 00:34:45.880
because we grow up into adult bodies and we walk

623
00:34:45.920 --> 00:34:48.079
into adult rooms and adult jobs, and we put on

624
00:34:48.159 --> 00:34:50.239
grown up clothes. But there's this little part of us

625
00:34:50.239 --> 00:34:52.840
that we take with us everywhere we go. And so

626
00:34:52.960 --> 00:34:56.679
this is why sometimes things get activated in us and

627
00:34:56.719 --> 00:34:59.199
we find ourselves having these feelings and we think, oh

628
00:34:59.199 --> 00:35:01.960
my god, I'm a grown up. Gosh, I'm surely I've

629
00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:04.760
dealt with this by now. This is ridiculous, and we

630
00:35:04.840 --> 00:35:07.559
shut ourselves down and all we're doing to ourselves is

631
00:35:07.599 --> 00:35:09.320
the exact same thing that was done to us when

632
00:35:09.360 --> 00:35:12.519
we were really little. And so by doing exercises like this,

633
00:35:12.599 --> 00:35:14.159
and if you're with me, you can come back and

634
00:35:14.159 --> 00:35:15.880
open your eyes now, give you a little wanna hug,

635
00:35:15.920 --> 00:35:17.199
and tell her that you'll be back to talk to

636
00:35:17.239 --> 00:35:20.920
her anytime that she needs some reassurance. But you can

637
00:35:20.960 --> 00:35:25.440
come back to me now, and you can realize that

638
00:35:25.519 --> 00:35:28.119
by trying to shut down this part of you, you're

639
00:35:28.199 --> 00:35:31.960
just doing, repeating, reinforcing the same message that you got

640
00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:34.519
when you were younger. And so to continue to do

641
00:35:34.559 --> 00:35:37.599
the same thing and expect to somehow be free from

642
00:35:37.679 --> 00:35:41.960
this is it's insane. So the way through is in

643
00:35:42.840 --> 00:35:45.760
to go into those feelings to actually get in touch with,

644
00:35:47.119 --> 00:35:52.360
you know, those kind of more core wounds or injuries

645
00:35:52.400 --> 00:35:54.719
that you experienced when you were young. Now, if you

646
00:35:54.760 --> 00:35:56.920
didn't have a memory or an emotion about that, then

647
00:35:56.960 --> 00:35:58.639
another thing that you can do is just stay with

648
00:35:58.679 --> 00:36:00.800
the feeling in your body. Where do you feel that

649
00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:03.519
sensation in your body, Make space for it, create a

650
00:36:03.519 --> 00:36:06.679
feeling of safety within you instead of looking for safety

651
00:36:06.679 --> 00:36:09.320
outside of you, instead of looking for the world to

652
00:36:09.360 --> 00:36:10.880
be safe, and for you to never be in a

653
00:36:10.880 --> 00:36:13.280
situation where you feel out of your depth or out

654
00:36:13.320 --> 00:36:16.239
of your comfort zone. Actually cultivate that feeling of safety

655
00:36:16.280 --> 00:36:19.559
within you so that you can feel safe in your body,

656
00:36:19.599 --> 00:36:23.280
in your nervous system, in any situation. And there's loads

657
00:36:23.280 --> 00:36:25.480
of strategies and tools that we can use to do

658
00:36:25.519 --> 00:36:28.119
that as well, so that you're no longer looking to

659
00:36:28.199 --> 00:36:32.119
control and manipulate the outside world and your outside circumstances,

660
00:36:32.119 --> 00:36:34.239
and for people to behave a particular way, and for

661
00:36:34.280 --> 00:36:36.440
people to give you positive feedback, and for you to

662
00:36:36.519 --> 00:36:38.199
never be in a situation where you're called to speak

663
00:36:38.199 --> 00:36:40.079
in front of a meeting when you're unprepared or whatever

664
00:36:40.119 --> 00:36:43.480
it is, so that you never have to feel unsafe

665
00:36:43.519 --> 00:36:46.880
or feel out of your depth, you cultivate because that's

666
00:36:46.920 --> 00:36:51.079
a losing game. You cultivate that feeling of safety internally,

667
00:36:51.920 --> 00:36:54.400
you learn to regulate your own nervous system, and you

668
00:36:54.519 --> 00:36:57.880
learn that you are enough. You cultivate those core feelings

669
00:36:57.880 --> 00:37:00.639
of worthiness so that you're not looking for that outside

670
00:37:00.679 --> 00:37:05.480
of you anymore. So there are some other ways that

671
00:37:05.519 --> 00:37:09.320
we can work to overcome self doubt and imposter syndrome.

672
00:37:09.639 --> 00:37:11.920
The reason I started with that go to the core

673
00:37:11.960 --> 00:37:15.840
memory thing is because even the most challenging or difficult

674
00:37:16.000 --> 00:37:21.239
or dysfunctional kind of core beliefs were created within you

675
00:37:21.639 --> 00:37:25.480
to serve a purpose. And the purpose that they were

676
00:37:25.639 --> 00:37:28.480
designed to serve was to protect you, to protect a

677
00:37:28.559 --> 00:37:32.079
vulnerability in you, to keep you safe, to keep you

678
00:37:32.119 --> 00:37:36.119
connected to the people, to keep you connected and supported

679
00:37:36.159 --> 00:37:39.239
and safe within the group that you were born into,

680
00:37:39.320 --> 00:37:42.760
or the people who were around you tasked with caring

681
00:37:42.840 --> 00:37:47.239
for you. So little babies or clever, clever clever clogs,

682
00:37:47.239 --> 00:37:50.639
like little babies, even pre verbally, they learn very quickly

683
00:37:51.079 --> 00:37:53.480
what they need to do in order to be accepted

684
00:37:53.679 --> 00:37:58.119
and loved by their caregivers. They learn very quickly how

685
00:37:58.199 --> 00:38:00.159
they need to behave whether it's safe to express an

686
00:38:00.199 --> 00:38:03.039
emotion or not, whether it's safe to wander off and

687
00:38:03.079 --> 00:38:05.519
play and explore, or whether they need to stay really close,

688
00:38:06.159 --> 00:38:08.800
whether it is safe to come in for comfort, or

689
00:38:08.800 --> 00:38:11.360
whether they need to keep their distance because that's not safe.

690
00:38:11.639 --> 00:38:16.599
This is all work that we will do inside the program.

691
00:38:17.119 --> 00:38:21.000
Let me tell you comprehensive, like all of the layers,

692
00:38:21.559 --> 00:38:25.199
all of the things that I have ever learned about

693
00:38:25.480 --> 00:38:30.760
attachment theory, about somatic work, about all the cognitive stuff,

694
00:38:30.800 --> 00:38:34.920
the mindfulness and act and values. Learning to cultivate a

695
00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:37.079
deep sense of your own self worth based on who

696
00:38:37.119 --> 00:38:40.760
you are at your care your strengths, your values, your qualities,

697
00:38:41.159 --> 00:38:44.840
your kindness, your integrity, so that you are no longer

698
00:38:44.840 --> 00:38:47.880
looking outside of yourself for other people's approval, because you

699
00:38:47.920 --> 00:38:50.840
can trust that you are enough exactly as you are.

700
00:38:51.599 --> 00:38:56.239
So layers and layers and layers of transformation that can happen,

701
00:38:56.599 --> 00:39:00.239
but they naturally have to happen over a period of time. Time.

702
00:39:00.519 --> 00:39:02.840
All I can do is tell you that this is

703
00:39:02.880 --> 00:39:05.559
the kind of thing that you might find helpful, and

704
00:39:05.679 --> 00:39:08.239
that this is the kind of stuff that I have

705
00:39:08.719 --> 00:39:12.280
packaged together into a program where we will meet every

706
00:39:12.360 --> 00:39:15.559
week and work through some of these things together to

707
00:39:15.679 --> 00:39:18.920
help you to get a transformation. But just to backtrack

708
00:39:18.960 --> 00:39:20.840
a little bit, when I talk about somatic work, you know,

709
00:39:20.840 --> 00:39:25.199
we're talking about cultivating safety in your body because your

710
00:39:25.440 --> 00:39:30.039
if your nervous system is primed to go to fight

711
00:39:30.159 --> 00:39:33.679
or flight or freeze or shut down again because of

712
00:39:33.719 --> 00:39:37.679
your early experiences and you know, past situations or past

713
00:39:37.679 --> 00:39:40.639
traumas or whatever. If there is a pattern there where

714
00:39:40.679 --> 00:39:43.280
your nervous system is on high alert all of the

715
00:39:43.360 --> 00:39:46.480
time and its sensing queues in your environment that signal

716
00:39:46.719 --> 00:39:49.880
threat or danger, your nervous system will react before your

717
00:39:49.880 --> 00:39:52.519
brain is even on board. And so this is the

718
00:39:52.599 --> 00:39:55.960
other problem that I have with cognitive approaches that try

719
00:39:56.000 --> 00:39:59.000
to fix the problem from the from the prefrontal cortex.

720
00:39:59.039 --> 00:40:01.159
From let's look at your thoughts. What's the story you're

721
00:40:01.159 --> 00:40:03.800
telling yourself, Because there is a phenomena which I have

722
00:40:03.880 --> 00:40:06.280
talked about on this show before, which is that the

723
00:40:06.440 --> 00:40:09.920
story follows the state the state of your nervous system.

724
00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:13.519
Your nervous system reacts, and then your brain's job is

725
00:40:13.559 --> 00:40:16.239
to make meaning of that. So it overlays a story,

726
00:40:16.320 --> 00:40:20.360
It imposes a story over the top of what your

727
00:40:20.360 --> 00:40:22.519
nervous system is doing because it's trying to work out

728
00:40:22.519 --> 00:40:26.519
what's going on here. And so rather than trying to

729
00:40:26.599 --> 00:40:30.159
talk to the story, talk to the thinking brain. Physiology

730
00:40:30.199 --> 00:40:33.800
only responds to physiology. Physiology doesn't respond to language. You

731
00:40:33.840 --> 00:40:36.280
can't talk yourself out of a nervous system response. You

732
00:40:36.360 --> 00:40:39.679
have to breathe your way through a nervous system response,

733
00:40:39.760 --> 00:40:42.320
or you have to find other ways to manage and

734
00:40:42.360 --> 00:40:47.480
regulate your body physiologically, because no amount of talking or thinking,

735
00:40:47.679 --> 00:40:51.760
or rationalizing or reasoning is going to help that. So

736
00:40:51.920 --> 00:40:54.400
this is why there's loads of stuff as well about

737
00:40:54.480 --> 00:40:58.559
how do we affect change on a somatic level? Do

738
00:40:58.639 --> 00:41:02.000
that body based work. I've just done a it's called

739
00:41:02.800 --> 00:41:08.199
somatic polyvagal theory in Yoga for trauma. Is that what

740
00:41:08.239 --> 00:41:11.199
it's called? Some course like that, very long with the

741
00:41:11.239 --> 00:41:13.440
mouthful of a course, But this is what I'm doing.

742
00:41:13.480 --> 00:41:16.920
This is how I'm investing my time and my resources

743
00:41:17.360 --> 00:41:20.159
to learn this stuff so that I can then pass

744
00:41:20.159 --> 00:41:24.360
it on and share it with you. Yoga for Trauma

745
00:41:24.480 --> 00:41:28.360
for nervous system regulation. I'm doing my own professional development

746
00:41:28.559 --> 00:41:30.559
in that area so that I can then bring that

747
00:41:30.639 --> 00:41:34.480
to you. I'm continuing to invest in my own education

748
00:41:34.559 --> 00:41:37.039
and my own upskilling so that I can continue to

749
00:41:37.079 --> 00:41:39.800
share that with you. So when I sell you, it's

750
00:41:39.840 --> 00:41:44.320
one thousand bucks Australian for three months intensive and you

751
00:41:44.559 --> 00:41:46.679
stay in for the rest of your life for as

752
00:41:46.719 --> 00:41:49.840
long as this program is running like it is really

753
00:41:49.880 --> 00:41:52.719
good value because I have spent much, much, much much

754
00:41:52.760 --> 00:41:55.119
more than that to learn the things that I'm going

755
00:41:55.159 --> 00:41:57.840
to teach you and that are going to come to

756
00:41:57.880 --> 00:42:01.719
you all packaged and coherent in a way that you

757
00:42:01.800 --> 00:42:06.719
can work through methodically and see that change progress over time.

758
00:42:07.280 --> 00:42:08.800
You know, you can go out and you can look

759
00:42:08.880 --> 00:42:10.840
up YouTube and do this course and that course, and

760
00:42:10.880 --> 00:42:14.599
you can go and do a sound healing and a

761
00:42:14.840 --> 00:42:18.280
mindfulness class, and you can see a therapist, and you

762
00:42:18.320 --> 00:42:20.800
can read a book and listen to a podcast and

763
00:42:20.840 --> 00:42:23.000
watch your YouTube and try and cobble all that together

764
00:42:23.239 --> 00:42:27.360
to a solution. Or you can hop into a program

765
00:42:27.480 --> 00:42:30.800
like this, But I have curated it, all packaged it together,

766
00:42:32.119 --> 00:42:34.360
and I'll show up there and be there with you

767
00:42:34.480 --> 00:42:37.320
every single week to help you to work through this

768
00:42:37.559 --> 00:42:41.599
until you get the transformation. Because God knows none of

769
00:42:41.639 --> 00:42:45.000
us needs more information. The world is overflowing with information.

770
00:42:45.440 --> 00:42:47.440
We're all over the Internet. We're all over the YouTube

771
00:42:47.480 --> 00:42:49.360
and the tiktoks, and we've got all the information in

772
00:42:49.360 --> 00:42:52.800
the world. What we actually crave is a transformation. We

773
00:42:52.840 --> 00:42:55.199
need to put this into practice, applied in our lives

774
00:42:55.440 --> 00:42:58.920
and get a transformation. And that is my hope for you.

775
00:42:59.360 --> 00:43:02.400
So there's an early bird price nine ninety five. It's

776
00:43:02.440 --> 00:43:05.800
going to run out really soon Wednesday night. I'm going

777
00:43:05.800 --> 00:43:08.480
to get this podcast out asap so that you can

778
00:43:08.920 --> 00:43:12.239
have a listen. Hopefully grab that early bird. I may

779
00:43:12.280 --> 00:43:14.119
extend the early bird for another day because I haven't

780
00:43:14.119 --> 00:43:16.480
given you a lot of time. But even so, even

781
00:43:16.519 --> 00:43:18.800
the full price, it is really great value compared to

782
00:43:18.800 --> 00:43:20.400
what else you could spend to get all of these

783
00:43:20.440 --> 00:43:23.360
tools and resources. I hope that that is helpful to you.

784
00:43:23.880 --> 00:43:26.800
I think I have done a good job of summarizing

785
00:43:26.800 --> 00:43:28.679
what we covered in the workshop. You can always go

786
00:43:28.760 --> 00:43:30.480
and look at the replay if you want to see

787
00:43:30.519 --> 00:43:33.320
my face. But hopefully that is enough to give you

788
00:43:33.360 --> 00:43:35.840
a sense of what to expect. And we start next week.

789
00:43:36.679 --> 00:43:40.480
The way it goes just some quick logistics. It's eight modules,

790
00:43:40.480 --> 00:43:42.800
but we deliver it over twelve weeks, so I build

791
00:43:42.880 --> 00:43:46.039
in break weeks so that you never feel overwhelmed. There

792
00:43:46.119 --> 00:43:49.199
is some pre recorded content that you know, videos you

793
00:43:49.199 --> 00:43:51.519
can watch, and stuff that you can listen to, but honestly,

794
00:43:52.440 --> 00:43:55.480
that's all helpful, that's all educational. That gives you some

795
00:43:55.519 --> 00:43:57.519
context for why we're doing what we're doing. But then

796
00:43:57.559 --> 00:43:59.679
the real value is going to be when we show

797
00:43:59.719 --> 00:44:01.760
up on the live calls. We do these exercises and

798
00:44:01.800 --> 00:44:05.639
processes together. We work together each week. After the first

799
00:44:05.719 --> 00:44:08.480
three months, we will continue to have those live calls

800
00:44:08.559 --> 00:44:10.559
even after the content is finished. Obviously you can take

801
00:44:10.599 --> 00:44:12.199
as long as you want to work through that content,

802
00:44:12.639 --> 00:44:15.840
but we will continue to get together either fortnightly or monthly,

803
00:44:15.880 --> 00:44:19.719
depending on demand, and we will just keep on keeping on,

804
00:44:19.960 --> 00:44:22.239
keep on working together for as long as for as

805
00:44:22.280 --> 00:44:24.000
long as we need to, and I think that you

806
00:44:24.000 --> 00:44:25.519
will love it. I think you'll love the community. I'm

807
00:44:25.519 --> 00:44:27.320
going to stop talking now because this podcast has gone

808
00:44:27.320 --> 00:44:29.719
for way too long, but the link will be down

809
00:44:29.719 --> 00:44:31.280
in the show notes, and I would love to see

810
00:44:31.280 --> 00:44:33.679
you in the program. Email me cass at cash Done

811
00:44:33.679 --> 00:44:37.079
if you would like any more information. All right, you guys,

812
00:44:37.239 --> 00:44:40.280
that is it. Thank you for being here as always.

813
00:44:40.400 --> 00:44:42.559
I'll be back next week. I am just holding off

814
00:44:42.559 --> 00:44:45.800
on interviews for the moment while I'm running this program,

815
00:44:46.039 --> 00:44:49.000
but I will be back soon enough with guests. But

816
00:44:49.199 --> 00:44:52.199
I will be back next week for another episode. I'll

817
00:44:52.239 --> 00:45:02.320
pray me to happy