Aug. 13, 2017

How to overcome emotional eating

How to overcome emotional eating
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How to overcome emotional eating
How to overcome emotional eating
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Season 1 Personal Growth & Healing Mindfulness & Acceptance Physical Health

Are you a comfort eater? Sometimes emotional eating can sabotage your goals, but why do we emotionally eat? In this episode, learn how to manage your feelings so you dont fall into the habit of stress eating and the best ways to manage cravings using tried and tested strategies. Learn how mindfulness and self-compassion can support you to overcome emotional eating and the number one question to ask yourself when you feel a snack attack coming on.


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Transcript
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A listener production.

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Hi, Welcome to Crappy to Happy with Tiff and Cass.

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In this series, we're taking you through tips and tools

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to help you feel less crappy and more happy.

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Last episode we were.

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Talking about how to set good goals. In this episode

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we're going to tackle snack attack how to overcome emotional eating.

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Now, Cass, we have so many members and people we.

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Meet daily who really struggle with emotional eating.

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It's really common, you know, and I think it's more

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of a problem for some people than others. I guess

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it's one of those things that happens on a bit

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of a spectrum that you can have the occasional emotional

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you know, we've all been there, But some people it's

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much more habitual and leads, you know, and much more

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of a pro in terms of their health and weight

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and fitness and their whole self self esteem and all

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of that. So suppose it's useful to start with what

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are we talking about when we say emotional eating?

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Because when I have ice cream, I feel emotionally so happy.

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Of course, Yeah, you know, like, how do we define

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negative emotional eating?

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Well, I think when we start using the word negative,

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we're talking about the impact that it's having on your life.

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So it doesn't necessarily always have to be a bad thing.

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It's like any of these things, they're not necessarily bad

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in and of themselves. It's only when for you personally

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you start to identify that this is becoming a problem.

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So when we're talking about emotional eating, essentially what we're

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talking about is any way you might use food to

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make you feel better. So that can manifest in lots

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of different ways. It might be that you you know,

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people call it stress eating or comfort eating if you

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are feeling stressed or lonely or frustrated and you go

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to food for comfort. So I think we all have

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a sense of what that is. It also manifests as

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for example, you know, people who really have trouble tolerating

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big emotions.

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You know, if they're.

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Really in emotional pain and they want to stuff down feelings,

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you know that.

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Actual right.

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Feeling suppressing yeah, numbing, yeah, suppressing your emotions with food.

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And in another way, it's sometimes it can be almost

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like filling up if there's a sense of emptiness.

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Or boredom or boom, Yeah.

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You know, you're sort of filling a hole in your

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life or filling a void with food. So for different

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people will have their own different version of what emotional

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eating means to them. And it can make you feel crappy, right,

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because then if you're emotional eating, you can put on weight,

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you can well feel lower your mood absolutely well, first

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and foremost, whatever it is that's making you feel crappy,

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it's still going to be making you feel crappy after

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you've eaten that type of ice cream. So you haven't

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actually solved the problem. And you know, that's what we

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need to get to later in this episode, is you know,

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how we can find other ways to soothe those emotions

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that don't involve food, because the thing about emotional eating

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is that generally the consequence is that.

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You feel worse guilty and or shame.

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You know, you feel you feel bad in your body,

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you feel bad in your mind, and the problem still

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hasn't gone away. So it's actually like a double triple whammy,

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you know, in terms of the crappiness.

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So can you define for us then, what's the difference

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between like emotional eating and when you know, binge eating

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or people who struggle with that.

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I think that really fundamentally, the difference between emotional eating

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and binge eating is quantity, okay, So I can be

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like a person might be feeling bored and stressed and

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lonely and go and have a type of bowl of

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ice cream and feel, you know, feel better in the

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short term. When we talk about binge eating, the definition

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of the psychological definition of that is eating a much

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greater quantity of food than would normally be a reasonable

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amount of food to eat in one sitting, usually eating

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in a much shorter space of time than you would

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reasonably expect. And often also a sense of being out

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of control, like not having control over that behavior.

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And is it usually secretive, so that can.

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Be often done in secret.

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So you know, that's when we start tipping over into

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like a psychological like a binge eating disorder if that's

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happening frequently, which is you know, which is an issue

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that requires professional help.

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And that's something too. It's important to talk.

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About that as well, because a lot of people do

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struggle with it.

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They do, but I think the everyday person who's eating emotionally,

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they you know, there's kind of there's a difference that

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they're on a spectrum again, but there is a fundamental

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sort of difference between just having the occasional you know,

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snack and a chocolate bar and really eating large quantities

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of food in the short space of time.

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And the emotional eating can really set you back if

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you have fitness or weight loss goals, or you know,

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even for the processing of these sorts of your emotions,

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you're not learning how to deal with things that worry

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or stress or hurt you.

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Huh No, that's exactly right. There is not It's not

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a healthy way to cope. And and also what we

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know is that that it becomes habitual, It becomes very

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habitual for people. You know. So when you do a behavior,

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whether whether it's emotional eating, whether it's drinking alcoholic having

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glass of wine, or whether it's you know, getting online

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and buying yourself you know, online shopping, all things that

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we do kind of compulsively to make ourselves feel better.

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And I put them all in the same category. Any

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behavior that you sort of do compulse compulsively to make

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yourself feel better has the potential to have has got

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that emotional component to it, and has the potential to

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have negative consequences. But what happens is you get that

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immediate Again, we're back to the dopamine. You get that

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immediate dopamine hit that reward center. It feels good temporarily

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doesn't help actually in the long run, but that feel

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good hit that you get temporarily kind of wires that

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into your brain so that the next time you're feeling

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a bit crappy, your brain goes, oh, well, last time,

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this is what I did, and I felt better. So

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you go straight to that behavior again. So when we're

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being mindless, you know, not really paying attention, you know,

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when you're kind of all caught up in your head

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and you're not feeling very good, you just you're reacting

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kind of emotionally or habitually, you will kind of go

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to your default to these patterns of behavior which don't

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necessarily serve you, so they become really routine.

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Yeah, and the emotional eating can make you feel crappy

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from you have that high the dopamine hit and it

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in sugar. That's a crash that's got that effect because

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it's a physiological crash as well as the mood as well.

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And so you're just feeling so.

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Gil and then you get stuck in this. Oftentimes people

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will get stuck in this kind of shame cycle. So

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you're feeling really bad, so you do this thing like

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eat a big bunch of whatever it is, you know,

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ice cream of the Timtams or whatever, and then you

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feel so bad about yourself that you almost kind of

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go back back around. Then your own coping strategy is

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to make yourself feel better, is to eat and around

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and around it goes.

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Yeah, and then I've seen a lot with my members

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on two f XO they go on a huge fitness blitz,

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like they'll go on a long run or a punishment

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sort of exercise thing to sort of like get rid

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of that in a yeah, and then they they're not

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enjoying the exercise. Then they feel worse and it's like

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they move into like a starving then stuffing cycle of

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like exercise. Then you know emotional leading. Then you know

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it's it's can bring on all sorts of problems.

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Yeah, and I think you know that sort of extreme,

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those extremes you know you're talking about over exercising, compensating,

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trying to even but you know, then there are things

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like even purging, binging, purging that's obviously disorder, laxative use,

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lots of things that people do to then try to negate.

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But what they should be doing is dealing with the emotion,

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not the ideally the habit. Yeah they're doing Yeah, Yeah.

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Isn't it fascinating how our minds and our bodies work together.

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And in emotional eating, it's not actually about the eating

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at all.

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It solves no problems. It's about the emotion exactly. It's

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got nothing to do with food. And this is fundamentally

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the difference between it, like a physical hunger and an

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emotional hunger. And oftentimes people can't tell the difference. They

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feel like they want food, but they're not physically hungry.

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Feel quite urgent, can't it.

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Yeah, And oftentimes with emotional eating it does feel urgent,

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whereas a physical hunger will come on more gradually and

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it tends to be more kind of in your stomach,

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like you feel a rumbling in your stomach, whereas an

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emotional eating will be very much sort of it's a

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fixation in your mind of you know, focusing on wanting

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to eat something, and it might be a very specific

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food that you're craving, Whereas when you're physically hungry, like

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you can almost eat anything, whereas emotional eating you might

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tend to reach for that thing that makes you personally

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you know that you identify as a comfort.

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So you could sort of see patterns of foods and

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what you're attracted to and things. I always used to

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say to my contestants on the Biggest Loser who were

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in that position they were morbidly obese because of emotional eating.

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I'd always say, just ask yourself, am I hungry or

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am I hurting?

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Like gray?

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Is it in emotion or is it in my stomach

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like you say, rumbling?

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Great?

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So if it is hurting, is that something that just

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comes on as an adult?

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Like how does that manifest?

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I was just gonna say, that's a great question. I

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also often use the question like what are you really craving?

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Like what is it that you really need right now?

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Yeah?

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So, you know, oftentimes some of these patterns start really

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early on in childhood, and I think people get kind

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of really interested in where did this start and try

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to solve the problem. Is it because my parents? You know,

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oftentimes it does start if food is used as a

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reward in your household, or you get messages about food

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that you have to eat everything on your plate. So

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some of these unhealthy relationships with food can start really

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early on, and I would say that sometimes it might

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be useful to look into that, but sometimes actually we don't.

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I mean, we just need to deal with the problem now. Yeah,

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I think some people can get very fixated on needing

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to work out why this is happening and why do

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I do this? And I need to understand myself better.

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And actually, as soon as you identify that it's a problem,

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then we just need to we can do things to

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start addressing that and turning it around. But yeah, oftentimes, yeah,

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it's not something necessarily that comes on in adults. So

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though it might, I think sometimes it starts earlier on,

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for sure, and then it develops and it progresses, and

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as I said before, it becomes very habitual, becomes very

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sort of routine.

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Can emotional eating just suddenly come on, Like perhaps you've

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had no issue with it in your teen years or anything,

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and then maybe you experience trauma or a difficult work

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colleague and then you find yourself emotionally eating.

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Can it just suddenly happen?

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I guess any of these issues, any unhealthy coping strategies

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can potentially develop at any time in life. So what

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we're really talking about here is not a food issue

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per se. It's a management of emotions issue. It is

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so if there's not you know, you might have never

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had an issue with food, but you may have had

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difficulties with dealing with or processing difficult emotions. You might

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come from a family where you don't deal with emotions,

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or you know. There can be lots of different personal

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backgrounds that people might have. But I guess fundamentally the

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issue is if if I'm not able to manage my

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emotions in a healthy way, then any of these other

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alternative ways of managing emotions may come into existence and

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may then slowly develop and become more habitual and repetitive.

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Okay, yeah, that makes sense. Well, then how do I

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deal with these emotions that can be quite confronting and

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hurt and icky. Where do you start if you think

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that this is an issue for yourself.

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I think one really useful thing is to start by

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keeping a food darry. If you're a person who struggles

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with emotional eating, then I think it can be really

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useful to track. People find this very tedious, but it

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can be very insightful.

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There's some good upsit do it.

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There are good but so if you can start tracking

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what you eat and when you eat, and particularly how

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you were feeling at that time. You start to see

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patterns of times of day, of people, of places, and

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of emotions. That's interesting that potentially cause you to eat

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food that you would not normally or food that you

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would prefer not to. Yeah, and I've had clients do

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this and say, perhaps, oh my gosh, every time my

254
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mom calls there you go, I go for X or Y.

255
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And it can be a person who's a trigger, or

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it can be you know, something from childhood that comes up.

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Or a memory. But isn't that fascinating? Yeah, it is.

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And you start to see those links and have those insights.

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And sometimes people already have a sense of what they are.

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But so I think you know, first and foremost recognizing

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your own personal kind of weak spots almost you know,

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like what your own personal trigger points are, because.

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They're different for everybody.

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Yeah.

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I always say, if we're talking about emotional eating, the

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keyword is emotion. So it's about understanding what that emotion is,

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Like you said, like what's hurting or you know, what's

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what are you really craving? And then it's about coming

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up with alternative ways to soothe that emotion that don't

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involve food, And there are lots and lots of different options,

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but it needs to start with, well, what is actually

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going on for me right now? Because, for example, if

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it's boredom or you might just want to go and

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do something, read a book or put a movie on

275
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or something, as opposed to if it's a feeling of loneliness,

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it might be call a friend or go and play

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with your pet or you know. So, if you know

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what the emotion is that needs to be soothed, then

279
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you much you have a much better chance of adequately

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soothing it because you'll almost like apply the remedy that

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fits them.

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That fits it's the wrong sort of medication here, Like

283
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that's not going to medicate and make you feel better.

284
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It's the mindfulness and self care stuff.

285
00:14:41.519 --> 00:14:45.480
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely, So I always suggest to people, you know,

286
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will come up with a whole big when you're feeling

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calm and relaxed and well, you know, like come up

288
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with a whole big list of things that make you

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feel good, things that you find soothing or comforting, and

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stick them somewhere where you can see them coming up.

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After the break, we are going to talk about some

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of those specific things you can do to soothe other

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than using food. You're listening to Crappy to Happy with

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Tiff and Gas. You're listening to Crappy to Happy with

295
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Tiff and Cass. We're talking about emotional eating, Cass. You

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mentioned there are some.

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Specific tools that we can use to deal with the

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emotion in the emotional eating.

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What are they?

300
00:15:27.039 --> 00:15:30.639
Well, yeah, I think that by understanding what is the

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specific emotional need that needs to be met, then you

302
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have a much better chance of knowing what might be

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helpful to soothe that emotion. So this is where the

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food diary comes in, and this is where you know,

305
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really checking in with yourself about what am I really.

306
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Feeling, what's hurting right now?

307
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What am I actually craving can help you to know

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what might be a really appropriate and suitable response. And

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I think it helps to sit down and write a

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big list of there. So they almost have like a

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repertoire of a little self soothing nice thing, yeah, that

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you can draw on in that moment when your whole

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body and brain is saying all I want is chocolate

314
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right now, you can actually take a breath and have

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something that you can go to to say, well, what

316
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else might I need? So, you know, for example, if

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you are feeling exhausted, it might be that you just

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need to lie in a warm bath, you know, relax,

319
00:16:16.919 --> 00:16:20.360
do some meditation or relaxation. If you're feeling lonely, you

320
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might want to call a friend and play with your pet,

321
00:16:24.320 --> 00:16:27.759
something like that that feels that lonely loneliness kind of neat.

322
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If you're feeling bored, it might be that you need

323
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to read a book or listen to the music, or

324
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take yourself out to a movie or you know, again

325
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like catch up with a friend. So if you know

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what it is that you're feeling, then you can kind

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of have a little arsenal of tools that you can

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draw on, you know, and there are lots of them.

329
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Go for a walk, have a warm shower, you know,

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diffuse some essential oils, endless, endless.

331
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So many And I find that a lot of our

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members talk about the emotional eating late at night, you

333
00:17:02.720 --> 00:17:04.920
get stuck in your head, and sometimes they might be

334
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on Facebook and it might trigger something because social media

335
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can be quite triggering in terms of fear of missing

336
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out or you know, self esteem, all of those issues.

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And instead of watching the TV, Like, perhaps switch off

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the TV if you know it's going to bring on

339
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boardom and emotional eating, and take up something else, like

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one of my members suggested, you know, learn a bit

341
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of sign language, or learn how to knit, start an instrument.

342
00:17:33.480 --> 00:17:36.559
I mean, there's so much you can do, or just

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00:17:36.599 --> 00:17:38.039
really create it. You just read a.

344
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Book, yeah, absolutely, pick through some magazines, I mean yeah,

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or go to bed.

346
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Yeah, and get some proper sleep.

347
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And that is that is so important, isn't it just

348
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an early bed cane?

349
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And so that is actually another like I think managing

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stress generally, if you know that you're a stress eater,

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and we hear that all the time, Oh this is

352
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my biggest problem. I'm a stress eater. Well, don't let

353
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yourself get too stressed. You know, there are things that

354
00:18:03.079 --> 00:18:06.079
you can implement into your day every day that are

355
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self care strategies. Building in regular breaks, going out for

356
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a walk for fifteen minutes at lunchtime is proven to

357
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reduce your stress and significantly being in nature or doing

358
00:18:15.880 --> 00:18:20.720
something relaxing fifteen minutes out of your day has a massive.

359
00:18:20.640 --> 00:18:24.400
Positive treat the stress. Yeah, and stress eating is so

360
00:18:24.559 --> 00:18:29.480
popular and something that I love doing is stretching. Start

361
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the day with a stretch. You start your day with

362
00:18:31.839 --> 00:18:34.160
meditation and stretching. For me, I sort of like work

363
00:18:34.200 --> 00:18:37.920
it in there. And stretching is so important because it

364
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triggers the parasympathetic nervous system and tell us about that

365
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cast because it's so important because it switches off the

366
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stress chemical, doesn't it in your brain?

367
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Yeah, And when you're stressed, and obviously your cortisol levels

368
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are elevated, that's when you are most likely to reach

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for sweet sugary snacks. That's actually a physiological effect on

370
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your body. But so the sympathetic nervous system is the

371
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bit that's responsible for the part of your brain gets

372
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aroused when you're feeling stressed or anxious. It's that fight

373
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or flight center of your brain that releases this quartzole

374
00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:12.200
and the adrenaline and gets you gears you up for battle. Yes,

375
00:19:13.599 --> 00:19:19.599
so just taking some calm, deep dipromatic breaths just for

376
00:19:19.680 --> 00:19:23.519
a minute has the effect of switching on the parasympathetic

377
00:19:23.519 --> 00:19:27.119
nervous system, which is actually like the relaxation response. So

378
00:19:27.160 --> 00:19:29.759
it's like telling your brain to stand down, It's all right,

379
00:19:30.200 --> 00:19:33.279
calm down. The physiological arousal and actually put yourself more

380
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into a relaxed state.

381
00:19:35.079 --> 00:19:35.839
It's fascinating.

382
00:19:35.880 --> 00:19:39.759
You can't have that stress hormone and the relaxation hormone

383
00:19:39.920 --> 00:19:41.920
flooding your system at one time. You got switch one

384
00:19:41.920 --> 00:19:44.759
off and switch the other one on. So can you

385
00:19:44.839 --> 00:19:46.519
take us through diaframatic breathing?

386
00:19:46.559 --> 00:19:47.079
What is that?

387
00:19:47.599 --> 00:19:50.480
So we're talking about taking deep, slow breaths all the

388
00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:53.240
way into your belly. So when you're feeling stressed or anxious,

389
00:19:53.559 --> 00:19:56.359
you tend to shallow breathe, breathe up in your upper chest,

390
00:19:56.400 --> 00:19:57.200
that short breathing.

391
00:19:57.680 --> 00:19:59.160
I see people all the time.

392
00:19:59.240 --> 00:20:02.720
Actually my practice and what I actually get them to do,

393
00:20:02.839 --> 00:20:05.559
particularly if they suffer from anxiety, is I count the

394
00:20:05.640 --> 00:20:08.680
number of breaths that they take per minute, and oftentimes

395
00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:11.920
that number will be sky high, like eighteen twenty even

396
00:20:11.960 --> 00:20:14.400
thirty thirty three breaths per minute, So you can imagine

397
00:20:14.400 --> 00:20:17.079
how short and shallow that breathing is. So then I

398
00:20:17.119 --> 00:20:21.160
ask them to just breathe in, like almost even just

399
00:20:21.160 --> 00:20:23.079
for the count of three, all the way to your belly,

400
00:20:23.079 --> 00:20:28.839
so you feel your belly rise and then breathe out. Yeah,

401
00:20:28.920 --> 00:20:30.400
So just breathing all the way in.

402
00:20:32.400 --> 00:20:36.839
And all the way out. It comes to you instantly,

403
00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:40.319
and how simple is breathing and doing that for one minute?

404
00:20:40.359 --> 00:20:42.240
I find I will actually get people to do it

405
00:20:42.359 --> 00:20:44.200
just for one minute and then go back and count

406
00:20:44.240 --> 00:20:47.160
their natural breaths again, and it comes right down. It

407
00:20:47.200 --> 00:20:51.160
actually has the effect of right after one minute, slowing

408
00:20:51.200 --> 00:20:55.880
their breathing right down, so it turning it around. It

409
00:20:55.920 --> 00:20:59.200
doesn't it doesn't necessarily drop it all the way to

410
00:20:59.279 --> 00:21:02.319
a really very calm state, but it certainly will make

411
00:21:02.319 --> 00:21:06.119
a big difference. And those deep breaths are chemically changing

412
00:21:06.119 --> 00:21:09.359
your body absolutely. Yeah, So if you're listening right now,

413
00:21:09.400 --> 00:21:12.720
you might even want to just pause this episode and

414
00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:16.200
do that for one minute. And what I will usually

415
00:21:16.240 --> 00:21:18.079
ask people to do is to get a watch with

416
00:21:18.160 --> 00:21:21.480
a second hand and actually watch the count in for

417
00:21:21.680 --> 00:21:24.720
three and out for three. This is particularly for people

418
00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:28.759
who are overbreathing, so that gives you ten breaths per minute.

419
00:21:28.960 --> 00:21:31.880
Obviously in for three and out for three is six seconds,

420
00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:35.160
so that's ten breaths per minute, which is a really nice, comfortable,

421
00:21:35.240 --> 00:21:37.000
calm breathing space.

422
00:21:37.599 --> 00:21:40.400
So yeah, welcome to try that. To just pause, press

423
00:21:40.440 --> 00:21:42.440
pause and pauses, now spend a minute.

424
00:21:42.480 --> 00:21:44.000
The only time we'll say it, but pause it and

425
00:21:44.039 --> 00:21:44.519
come back.

426
00:21:45.000 --> 00:21:48.160
One of the ways I find is really effective in

427
00:21:48.279 --> 00:21:50.559
helping people to deal with emotional eating.

428
00:21:50.839 --> 00:21:53.480
I'm not a psychologist from a trainer. It comes from

429
00:21:53.799 --> 00:21:54.440
meal preps.

430
00:21:54.480 --> 00:21:59.400
So if you prep some snacks and some healthy food

431
00:21:59.799 --> 00:22:02.359
on weekend, say, and it's in the fridge, it's there.

432
00:22:02.759 --> 00:22:04.039
When you feel.

433
00:22:03.759 --> 00:22:08.480
That emotional eating is coming on, you just go and

434
00:22:08.519 --> 00:22:11.440
you have the healthy food in the fridge, it's already there.

435
00:22:11.880 --> 00:22:15.160
I call it like an SOS meal, like it's urgent.

436
00:22:16.359 --> 00:22:20.599
It's a safety meal. And if you're really craving that

437
00:22:20.759 --> 00:22:23.640
sugar because you're stressed, you just go, Okay, my SOS

438
00:22:23.720 --> 00:22:27.359
meal is a beautiful you know, soup that I've got

439
00:22:27.519 --> 00:22:29.279
frozen in the freezer. I'm just gonna pull it out.

440
00:22:29.319 --> 00:22:30.759
I'm just gonna eat it and deal with it. So

441
00:22:30.799 --> 00:22:34.279
the physiological hunger is gone and you know it's emotional.

442
00:22:34.599 --> 00:22:35.559
Would is that helpful?

443
00:22:35.599 --> 00:22:36.400
Caps Yeah.

444
00:22:36.440 --> 00:22:38.599
I think the more that you can obviously remove the

445
00:22:38.880 --> 00:22:42.359
offending food items and have healthy options on hand, that's

446
00:22:42.400 --> 00:22:45.680
obviously going to remove the temptation for people. So having

447
00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:48.880
things that are quick and easy to grab, I think

448
00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:51.880
maybe you know when you say if I'm really craving

449
00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:54.440
something sweet, then maybe what I'm more inclined to reach

450
00:22:54.480 --> 00:22:57.640
for is some fruit or some yogurt, not so much

451
00:22:57.680 --> 00:22:59.920
as soup. But you know, so they could be just

452
00:23:00.119 --> 00:23:02.680
having healthy options that might satisfy that crave.

453
00:23:02.759 --> 00:23:05.839
And there are healthy, healthy ways to cook, you know,

454
00:23:06.079 --> 00:23:09.319
sweet things absolutely that you can have in the house

455
00:23:10.160 --> 00:23:13.440
that just moves your way from doing damage with something

456
00:23:13.559 --> 00:23:17.839
you know, quite menacing, like well, ice cream or leaders

457
00:23:17.920 --> 00:23:18.799
or ice cream or whatever.

458
00:23:18.880 --> 00:23:21.240
Not that ice cream in itself is bad, it's not.

459
00:23:21.480 --> 00:23:25.039
So it's really an individual thing about a person identifying

460
00:23:25.079 --> 00:23:27.759
that it's become a problem for them. I would also,

461
00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:29.880
I think it's really important when we start talking about

462
00:23:29.880 --> 00:23:31.599
topics like this, and I'll come back to this over

463
00:23:31.640 --> 00:23:34.279
and over. It's that self compassion because the more that

464
00:23:34.319 --> 00:23:36.599
people get self critical and beat themselves up, the more

465
00:23:36.680 --> 00:23:39.000
likely they are to maintain this behavior and get stuck

466
00:23:39.000 --> 00:23:41.799
in that vicious site. So, right, so it has to

467
00:23:41.839 --> 00:23:46.039
come back to self compassion, being kind to yourself. It's

468
00:23:46.079 --> 00:23:47.920
not the worst thing in the world. You know, I'm

469
00:23:47.960 --> 00:23:51.799
not a bad person. Everybody has, you know something, everybody's

470
00:23:51.799 --> 00:23:55.039
got their vices, you know, we all do, and that's okay,

471
00:23:55.119 --> 00:23:57.319
but you know, and learning from a setback.

472
00:23:57.400 --> 00:23:59.000
So if I set out.

473
00:23:58.759 --> 00:24:02.680
To to, you know, try to curb this emotional eating

474
00:24:02.759 --> 00:24:05.759
habit that I know that i've I've got, then occasionally

475
00:24:05.799 --> 00:24:07.400
there's going to be a setback and that's okay. But

476
00:24:07.480 --> 00:24:10.160
if I can learn from it, and if I can recognize, oh, okay,

477
00:24:10.200 --> 00:24:12.039
so that was the trigger and maybe I could have

478
00:24:12.079 --> 00:24:14.640
been a bit more prepared for that one, and then

479
00:24:14.759 --> 00:24:16.680
that's going to help me in the future as opposed

480
00:24:16.720 --> 00:24:19.839
to going into that straight into that cycle of what

481
00:24:20.039 --> 00:24:22.400
is wrong with me? I can never get it right,

482
00:24:22.960 --> 00:24:25.480
I'm hopeless. And this is this kind of self talk

483
00:24:25.480 --> 00:24:28.400
that we know goes on. We've talked about the inner critic.

484
00:24:29.480 --> 00:24:31.000
This is the kind of stuff that goes on that

485
00:24:31.119 --> 00:24:35.400
just creates more bad feelings, more guilt, and more of

486
00:24:35.440 --> 00:24:36.079
the same behavior.

487
00:24:36.119 --> 00:24:38.000
And we're not saying that treats are bad. We are

488
00:24:38.039 --> 00:24:40.799
talking about emotional eating here, So you know, it's not

489
00:24:40.920 --> 00:24:42.720
bad to go out and have an ice cream and

490
00:24:42.759 --> 00:24:45.920
a treat whatever. We're talking about using that ice cream

491
00:24:45.920 --> 00:24:49.920
to deal with emotion. So I guess, yeah, it does

492
00:24:49.960 --> 00:24:52.480
come back to the self compassion. It does, And is

493
00:24:52.519 --> 00:24:56.319
that more of your mindful nurses. It all comes back

494
00:24:56.359 --> 00:24:57.279
to mindfulness.

495
00:24:57.440 --> 00:24:58.599
It's just amazing.

496
00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:01.039
We love it, listen, we love it so fundamentally.

497
00:25:01.079 --> 00:25:02.759
What we're talking about here, all of this that we've

498
00:25:02.799 --> 00:25:06.319
been talking about so far, is this idea that there

499
00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:09.160
is a lack of a capacity for one of a

500
00:25:09.160 --> 00:25:13.039
better a term to manage strong emotions, or a fear

501
00:25:13.039 --> 00:25:16.640
of being overwhelmed by strong emotions. So people particularly who

502
00:25:16.640 --> 00:25:20.640
are like suppressing big emotions can be really fearful of

503
00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:22.160
being overwhelmed.

504
00:25:22.640 --> 00:25:25.200
So mindfulness practice.

505
00:25:24.839 --> 00:25:28.680
Is about learning to sit with your feelings, like learning

506
00:25:28.720 --> 00:25:31.559
to sit with your thoughts and feelings and not have

507
00:25:31.640 --> 00:25:33.640
to run away from them, not have to suppress them

508
00:25:33.720 --> 00:25:36.200
or push them aside. And it's cultivating a capacity to

509
00:25:36.200 --> 00:25:40.359
tolerate that discomfort. And when you know that you can

510
00:25:40.400 --> 00:25:44.319
tolerate discomfort, you don't have to force anything out. You

511
00:25:44.400 --> 00:25:47.039
can just learn that it's actually okay. I can see

512
00:25:47.079 --> 00:25:50.200
how I can be angry. Any emotion that's actually fully

513
00:25:50.200 --> 00:25:54.440
felt and acknowledged, you know, felt in your body and

514
00:25:54.480 --> 00:25:58.559
given some space, moves through very quickly.

515
00:25:58.839 --> 00:25:59.400
We know this.

516
00:26:00.039 --> 00:26:03.880
Emotions move on themselves very quickly. They what keeps them

517
00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:06.640
stuck and what makes them a problem is the more

518
00:26:06.680 --> 00:26:10.000
we try to resist and avoid and push them away

519
00:26:10.440 --> 00:26:13.240
or suppress them, deny them, you know, all of those

520
00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:15.920
things that we do, and you know, with food, with

521
00:26:16.079 --> 00:26:20.799
other strategies, which actually, you know, perpetuates the problem and

522
00:26:20.880 --> 00:26:23.000
makes it worse. So at the heart of it, what

523
00:26:23.039 --> 00:26:24.440
we want to do is to be able to learn,

524
00:26:24.480 --> 00:26:27.759
to be able to sit and to regulate our feelings

525
00:26:27.880 --> 00:26:30.759
and to know that that's okay, all feelings are welcome

526
00:26:31.839 --> 00:26:32.880
and that I can handle that.

527
00:26:33.039 --> 00:26:36.240
And you say that there are no bad feelings, don't

528
00:26:36.240 --> 00:26:36.559
you know?

529
00:26:36.759 --> 00:26:38.559
You can't be a human without having all of them.

530
00:26:39.079 --> 00:26:41.440
And you know it'd be lovely to only ever have

531
00:26:41.519 --> 00:26:46.640
the happy, positive feelings, very unrealistic. So part of being

532
00:26:46.640 --> 00:26:49.000
a human on this planet is learning, you know that

533
00:26:49.079 --> 00:26:51.920
we can Actually we're okay, We're going to experience the

534
00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:55.720
full range of human emotion. Nothing's inherently good or bad.

535
00:26:56.079 --> 00:26:58.960
It all has its place and its time. You know,

536
00:26:59.000 --> 00:27:01.640
some are less comfortable all for sure, But that's why

537
00:27:01.640 --> 00:27:03.720
I say, we're just learning to tolerate some discomfort and

538
00:27:03.720 --> 00:27:05.079
then they'll move on. You know.

539
00:27:05.279 --> 00:27:08.880
Yeah, happiness is an emotion too, It calms, it goes,

540
00:27:08.920 --> 00:27:12.119
It's not We're not meant to be happy all the time.

541
00:27:12.200 --> 00:27:14.799
Are we part of happiness to me when we're talking

542
00:27:14.799 --> 00:27:17.319
about crappy to happy? Yeah, part of happiness is having

543
00:27:17.359 --> 00:27:20.400
a core belief and inherent understanding that I can deal

544
00:27:20.440 --> 00:27:23.119
with anything like that's an inner strength, like.

545
00:27:23.079 --> 00:27:25.960
Come at me, world, Yeah, yeah, I don't.

546
00:27:25.720 --> 00:27:27.200
Have to be afraid of my feelings.

547
00:27:27.359 --> 00:27:30.799
So that makes me feel it's an inner contentment, I suppose,

548
00:27:30.799 --> 00:27:33.359
and a piece and an inner confidence that I can handle.

549
00:27:33.839 --> 00:27:35.640
I guess it's how you look at it, Like if

550
00:27:35.640 --> 00:27:38.960
you're experiencing failure and you feel uncomfortable, if you sort

551
00:27:39.000 --> 00:27:41.559
of look at failure as well, I'm learning from my

552
00:27:41.640 --> 00:27:45.519
mistake and I'm going to be even stronger from that mistake. Yeah,

553
00:27:45.559 --> 00:27:49.240
and it's a challenge. Yeah, then it can be positive absolutely, Okay.

554
00:27:49.359 --> 00:27:51.599
Yeah, it's all got its place. It's very helpful.

555
00:27:51.640 --> 00:27:53.880
So if we just were to grab a cup of tea,

556
00:27:54.240 --> 00:27:58.440
sit there, do some deep difromatic breathing and be aware

557
00:27:58.519 --> 00:28:00.519
of those uncomfortable feelings and sit with it.

558
00:28:01.559 --> 00:28:06.039
Practice practicing meditation again will help to build that, because

559
00:28:06.079 --> 00:28:08.000
that's all it is. It's just sitting and noticing what's

560
00:28:08.039 --> 00:28:08.839
there and letting.

561
00:28:08.640 --> 00:28:09.079
It be there.

562
00:28:09.359 --> 00:28:12.000
It's that simple, and I think that's really helpful, Cass,

563
00:28:12.160 --> 00:28:14.880
and dealing with the emotion and the emotional eating, not

564
00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:18.599
having the trigger foods around, Yeah.

565
00:28:18.519 --> 00:28:21.359
Not having the trigger foods around, but also not demonizing

566
00:28:21.359 --> 00:28:23.200
any food because what we know is that as soon

567
00:28:23.200 --> 00:28:25.640
as you demonize a food, your mind fixates.

568
00:28:25.160 --> 00:28:26.400
On it and it's all it wants.

569
00:28:26.480 --> 00:28:29.039
Yeah, So I think that's really important in this conversation.

570
00:28:29.079 --> 00:28:32.079
And not demonizing the food and not demonizing the emotions

571
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:35.720
as well, and no bad feeling, demonizing yourself. Yes, thank you, Cas,

572
00:28:35.759 --> 00:28:38.359
that's been so helpful. I hope it's helped you too.

573
00:28:38.440 --> 00:28:42.200
Listening to us today. Next on Crappy to Happy, we

574
00:28:42.240 --> 00:28:44.000
are going to be talking about sleep.

575
00:28:44.559 --> 00:28:45.279
Great topic.

576
00:28:45.680 --> 00:28:48.240
Give it a rest, we'll be back. You're listening to

577
00:28:48.279 --> 00:28:50.960
Crappy to Happy with Tiff and Cass. We'll see you soon.

578
00:28:56.680 --> 00:29:00.359
Produced by Daves Velenski. Audio production by Nick's I Don't

579
00:29:08.200 --> 00:29:08.680
Listener