Jan. 16, 2023

How to prevent yourself from burning out

The player is loading ...

Do you find yourself struggling from burnout after having too much on your plate? In this episode, I explain the concept of the 'exhaustion funnel' in psychology, and various steps you can take to help dispel stress that is built up in your body, and prevent burnout from occurring.Connect with Cass:www.crappytohappypod.comhello@crappytohappypod.com
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypod www.tiktok.com/crappytohappypod
Join the free 7-day Happiness Challenge:www.cassdunn.com/happiness

Connect with Cass:

www.cassdunn.com
www.instagram.com/cassdunn_xo

Contact Crappy to Happy:

Email: hello@crappytohappypod.com
www.crappytohappypod.com
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypod
www.tiktok.com/@crappytohappypod

Are you a coach, therapist, service provider or solopreneur struggling with self-doubt and imposter syndrome? I'd love to talk to you! (for market research purposes only!)

Book a call with me to share your experience.

Want more great content and less ads?

Upgrade to Paid in the Spotify or Apple podcasts App to get immediate access to "Beyond Happy", the subscriber only podcast featuring bonus content, meditations and more!

Transcript

WEBVTT

1
00:00:02.680 --> 00:00:10.759
A listener production. Welcome to another episode of Crappy or

2
00:00:10.800 --> 00:00:13.519
Happy Today. I would really like to get into the

3
00:00:13.560 --> 00:00:17.039
topic of burnout. We are heading into a new year.

4
00:00:17.399 --> 00:00:20.079
If you know yourself that you have pushed yourself to

5
00:00:20.160 --> 00:00:23.519
the extreme in the last few years, whether by choice

6
00:00:23.640 --> 00:00:26.160
or just because of the circumstances that you've found yourself

7
00:00:26.199 --> 00:00:29.559
in with everything that has been going on in life

8
00:00:29.760 --> 00:00:33.079
and in the world. What is it, what causes it,

9
00:00:33.119 --> 00:00:37.079
what are the contributing factors, how can you potentially prevent it,

10
00:00:38.119 --> 00:00:40.200
and one of the best ways to recover from it?

11
00:00:40.240 --> 00:00:42.280
I guess because when we talk about burnout, we are

12
00:00:42.560 --> 00:00:46.479
talking about more than just stress. You can have a

13
00:00:46.479 --> 00:00:48.320
stressful job, you can have a lot of things going

14
00:00:48.359 --> 00:00:51.679
on in your life. You can feel exhausted, you can

15
00:00:51.679 --> 00:00:55.200
feel overwhelmed and depleted. But when we talk about getting

16
00:00:55.240 --> 00:00:59.359
to the point of burnout, we're talking about complete and

17
00:00:59.600 --> 00:01:05.760
utter emotional and physical exhaustion. We're talking about psychological issues

18
00:01:05.799 --> 00:01:12.200
of being detached, depressed, and being quite negative and cynical

19
00:01:12.719 --> 00:01:16.599
towards people and towards the situation, perhaps your job, that

20
00:01:16.640 --> 00:01:19.680
you find yourself in. So let's discuss burnout and what

21
00:01:19.760 --> 00:01:22.560
it actually is, how it came about where it fits

22
00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:26.239
in terms of psychology, and then get into the nitty

23
00:01:26.239 --> 00:01:27.799
gritty of what it looks like and how it sort

24
00:01:27.799 --> 00:01:32.640
of comes about. The phenomenon of burnout was first mentioned

25
00:01:32.680 --> 00:01:37.519
back in the nineteen seventies by doctor Herbert Freudenberger, I

26
00:01:37.560 --> 00:01:41.159
think that's his name, and it refers to a specific

27
00:01:41.200 --> 00:01:45.680
syndrome of exhaustion related to prolonged situations of emotional imbalance

28
00:01:46.120 --> 00:01:50.040
with a burden of perceived stress exceeds your personal resources

29
00:01:50.040 --> 00:01:52.959
to cope with it. Now, it's always been referred to

30
00:01:53.280 --> 00:01:59.480
as a workplace issue, as a workplace phenomenon. In fact,

31
00:01:59.560 --> 00:02:03.840
it was added to the World Health Organization's ICD eleven,

32
00:02:04.000 --> 00:02:08.080
so that's the International Classification of Diseases, Big bat manual

33
00:02:08.080 --> 00:02:10.719
of all of the diseases that exist in the world.

34
00:02:10.800 --> 00:02:15.639
So the eleventh revision of that came out in twenty

35
00:02:16.639 --> 00:02:22.280
nineteen and burnout was included and defined as a syndrome,

36
00:02:22.680 --> 00:02:25.360
so a syndrome. Before this, it used to often be

37
00:02:26.159 --> 00:02:29.479
kind of conceptualized as a symptom, So it is now

38
00:02:29.520 --> 00:02:34.439
considered to be a very specific syndrome conceptualized as resulting

39
00:02:34.520 --> 00:02:39.039
from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed

40
00:02:39.520 --> 00:02:43.039
and it is characterized by three dimensions. So these are

41
00:02:43.039 --> 00:02:49.319
the three kind of key characteristics of burnout. Feelings of energy, depletion,

42
00:02:49.560 --> 00:02:52.759
or exhaustion. So that is rock bottom, that is, got

43
00:02:52.800 --> 00:02:59.039
nothing left in the tank, completely utterly emotionally physically exhausted.

44
00:02:59.080 --> 00:03:00.919
This could be ending up in the hospital. This could

45
00:03:00.960 --> 00:03:07.120
be collapsing, being really physically unwell, increased mental distance from

46
00:03:07.120 --> 00:03:13.719
one's job, or feelings of negativism interesting word or cynicism

47
00:03:14.159 --> 00:03:19.879
related to one's job. So this is feeling really detached.

48
00:03:20.120 --> 00:03:23.120
If you consider that often the people who experience bernat

49
00:03:23.120 --> 00:03:27.719
are start off being very invested in their job, very engaged,

50
00:03:27.919 --> 00:03:32.080
working really hard, very conscientious a lot of the time,

51
00:03:32.680 --> 00:03:36.159
and really focused on work, getting the work done, doing

52
00:03:36.159 --> 00:03:38.080
a good job. They end up at this point of

53
00:03:38.199 --> 00:03:43.000
just being completely disconnected, emotionally, completely detached, a lot of

54
00:03:43.159 --> 00:03:46.719
very negative cynical emotions, not just towards the job, but

55
00:03:46.759 --> 00:03:51.280
often towards people as well around them, and reduced professional efficacy.

56
00:03:51.360 --> 00:03:54.879
So what that means is that they become very down

57
00:03:54.919 --> 00:03:58.520
on themselves, feeling incompetent, feeling like they can't do the job.

58
00:03:59.080 --> 00:04:02.520
Taking all of this stress and this inability to cope

59
00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:07.360
with these chronic, unrelenting demands and taking that to mean

60
00:04:07.560 --> 00:04:10.319
that there's something wrong with them that they can't do

61
00:04:10.400 --> 00:04:13.319
the job. So it can look a lot like depression,

62
00:04:13.680 --> 00:04:16.600
but it's not depression, as in it is a separate

63
00:04:16.600 --> 00:04:19.560
and distinct Even if depression is a part of it,

64
00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:23.720
and it's extreme, it's really extreme, and you don't just

65
00:04:23.800 --> 00:04:28.279
wake up one morning burnt out. There is a process, clearly,

66
00:04:28.879 --> 00:04:30.800
And so what I wanted to talk about today as

67
00:04:30.800 --> 00:04:33.199
we're heading into a new year and everybody's heading back

68
00:04:33.199 --> 00:04:35.319
to work and perhaps you have had a break. I

69
00:04:35.360 --> 00:04:37.639
hope you've had a nice break. I hope you're feeling

70
00:04:37.639 --> 00:04:39.920
well rested. And if you have come back with that

71
00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:43.040
sense of wanting to have more balance and wanting to

72
00:04:43.040 --> 00:04:47.839
set better boundaries and wanting to really look after yourself

73
00:04:47.879 --> 00:04:49.879
a little better than you perhaps have in the past,

74
00:04:49.879 --> 00:04:52.000
if you can look back and know that you have

75
00:04:52.120 --> 00:04:55.240
potentially really been at risk of burnout or you have

76
00:04:55.600 --> 00:04:59.000
been burnt out, then what are the signs to look for,

77
00:04:59.240 --> 00:05:02.120
How does this start to manifest and what can you

78
00:05:02.199 --> 00:05:05.079
do to intervene to best look after yourself so that

79
00:05:05.079 --> 00:05:08.920
that doesn't happen again. I also want to say that

80
00:05:09.000 --> 00:05:12.720
the World Health Organization has been very clear and specific

81
00:05:12.720 --> 00:05:16.079
that they consider this to be a workplace phenomenon. There's

82
00:05:16.120 --> 00:05:19.000
a lot of research coming out now, particularly in the

83
00:05:19.079 --> 00:05:22.639
last i would say five or so years, looking at

84
00:05:22.879 --> 00:05:28.879
maternal burnout, looking at parental burnout, caregiver burnout. I don't

85
00:05:28.920 --> 00:05:32.240
think it is reasonable to consider that this is just

86
00:05:32.360 --> 00:05:35.759
a workplace phenomenon. I think there are many situations in

87
00:05:35.800 --> 00:05:41.079
life that place so much pressure and stress, and it's

88
00:05:41.120 --> 00:05:43.360
not just we'll talk about this the difference between the

89
00:05:43.439 --> 00:05:48.040
stress or and the stress response, but the perceived stress

90
00:05:48.600 --> 00:05:54.079
and pressure that exceeds a capacity to cope. And I

91
00:05:54.079 --> 00:05:57.160
think maternal burnout is very real, and it's it's actually

92
00:05:57.160 --> 00:06:01.199
been shown to be a little different to for example,

93
00:06:01.199 --> 00:06:06.439
postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety. Parental burnout often lasts longer, It

94
00:06:06.519 --> 00:06:09.279
goes for many more years, and it has kind of

95
00:06:09.279 --> 00:06:12.399
different characteristics, and that might be worth a whole extra

96
00:06:12.720 --> 00:06:16.000
separate episode of the show. Today. I will just talk

97
00:06:16.040 --> 00:06:20.519
about burnout generally, but if I use references to the workplace,

98
00:06:21.160 --> 00:06:23.720
just know in your mind that it doesn't have to

99
00:06:23.759 --> 00:06:26.519
be a workplace situation. There can be other situations in

100
00:06:26.560 --> 00:06:29.800
your life that might be causing you to experience excessive

101
00:06:29.800 --> 00:06:33.519
stress and leading to potentially burnout. When I first heard

102
00:06:33.600 --> 00:06:39.199
about Freudenberger's twelve kind of stages that people he proposed

103
00:06:39.240 --> 00:06:44.079
that people go through, it reminded me immediately of something

104
00:06:44.079 --> 00:06:46.879
that I learned when I was studying NBCT mindfulness based

105
00:06:46.959 --> 00:06:51.399
cognitive therapy, and that is this concept of the exhaustion funnel.

106
00:06:51.680 --> 00:06:53.839
And I often share with people the concept of the

107
00:06:53.879 --> 00:06:58.000
exhaustion funnel, which is a handy way to imagine how

108
00:06:58.240 --> 00:07:01.519
this whole process sort of works. So the idea is

109
00:07:01.519 --> 00:07:04.319
that if you imagine a funnel like with a very

110
00:07:04.439 --> 00:07:07.920
wide opening at the top and funneling down into a

111
00:07:08.040 --> 00:07:11.240
very narrow opening at the bottom. When you're at the

112
00:07:11.240 --> 00:07:14.560
top of the funnel, you have a lot going on

113
00:07:14.639 --> 00:07:17.160
in your life. You have friends and family and work

114
00:07:17.199 --> 00:07:21.439
and hobbies and creativity and food and self care and

115
00:07:21.560 --> 00:07:23.560
all sorts of things that you do to have a

116
00:07:23.879 --> 00:07:28.000
full and meaningful and fulfilling life. What you also have

117
00:07:28.800 --> 00:07:30.759
is when you're at the top of the funnel and

118
00:07:30.800 --> 00:07:35.839
you're feeling positive and optimistic and all of those positive emotions.

119
00:07:35.839 --> 00:07:39.360
And remember we've talked about the positive emotions and the

120
00:07:39.399 --> 00:07:42.000
effect that they have on your mood and your mental

121
00:07:42.040 --> 00:07:45.680
health and your cognitive processing. Is that you have a

122
00:07:45.720 --> 00:07:51.839
wide perception. You have a wide open perspective about options

123
00:07:51.879 --> 00:07:56.439
available to you, about what's in your life, what resources

124
00:07:56.480 --> 00:07:59.959
you have available to you, and generally, so if things

125
00:08:00.279 --> 00:08:02.240
to go wrong, there's lots of things that you can

126
00:08:02.319 --> 00:08:05.279
draw on to help yourself to get back to feeling

127
00:08:05.279 --> 00:08:06.959
good again. So, if you're having a bad day, you

128
00:08:07.040 --> 00:08:08.920
talk to a friend, or you're feeling the mistressed, you

129
00:08:08.959 --> 00:08:11.360
go to a yoga class, or you know, you take

130
00:08:11.399 --> 00:08:13.519
some time off, you sit in the sunshine, you have

131
00:08:13.560 --> 00:08:15.839
a good night's sleep, and you get back to being

132
00:08:16.040 --> 00:08:19.319
yourself again. What happens if you're in a situation where

133
00:08:19.360 --> 00:08:23.680
stress is constant and kind of unrelenting, or you find

134
00:08:23.720 --> 00:08:26.120
yourself in a very busy environment, you find yourself in

135
00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:29.040
a job that's very demanding of you. When we feel

136
00:08:29.279 --> 00:08:33.519
that pressure, what happens often is that we start to

137
00:08:33.759 --> 00:08:36.159
let go of the things that we consider to be

138
00:08:36.240 --> 00:08:39.000
non essential. I don't have time to catch up with friends,

139
00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:41.200
I don't have time to cook myself for healthy dinner.

140
00:08:41.240 --> 00:08:44.240
I'll just grab something on the run. I would love

141
00:08:44.279 --> 00:08:46.720
to go to my yoga class, and my regular fitness class.

142
00:08:46.759 --> 00:08:48.440
But I really I don't know how I'm going to

143
00:08:48.519 --> 00:08:51.759
fit that in this week. I just don't have the space.

144
00:08:52.159 --> 00:08:54.919
And it's not just I don't have the available time.

145
00:08:54.960 --> 00:08:58.039
I start to feel like I don't have the mental space.

146
00:08:58.320 --> 00:09:02.559
I don't have the mental capacity to work out how

147
00:09:02.559 --> 00:09:05.120
I'm going to do all of these things. And so

148
00:09:05.159 --> 00:09:08.600
then what happens is we start experiencing the physical effects.

149
00:09:08.600 --> 00:09:11.960
We start feeling run down, we start feeling exhausted, sleep

150
00:09:12.039 --> 00:09:16.360
starts getting interrupted, We start withdrawing socially, not relying on

151
00:09:16.440 --> 00:09:19.960
those people anymore. We sort of retreat into ourselves a little.

152
00:09:20.000 --> 00:09:23.360
And what happens is it's often the most conscientious workers

153
00:09:24.240 --> 00:09:28.039
who just work harder and longer, and who tell themselves,

154
00:09:28.039 --> 00:09:29.600
I just need to get through this period. I just

155
00:09:29.639 --> 00:09:32.720
need to get through this crisis or whatever it is,

156
00:09:33.080 --> 00:09:37.240
just until end of tax time, just until they hire

157
00:09:37.279 --> 00:09:39.720
some new staff, just until we feel that position, just

158
00:09:39.840 --> 00:09:42.200
until we get this project over the line. You know,

159
00:09:42.200 --> 00:09:44.799
it's just until, But there's never any just until, like

160
00:09:44.840 --> 00:09:47.799
it never ends, and so it continues and continues and continues.

161
00:09:47.960 --> 00:09:50.399
So we start working later into the night, start having

162
00:09:50.440 --> 00:09:54.000
sleep interrupted, thinking about work during the night, going to

163
00:09:54.039 --> 00:09:58.279
work earlier, working through lunch, and as I've also mentioned,

164
00:09:58.279 --> 00:10:01.279
when we're in that negative kind of mindset, what happens

165
00:10:01.320 --> 00:10:05.639
is our mind wraps around a problem. We create this

166
00:10:05.759 --> 00:10:09.240
tunnel vision where all we can focus on is the

167
00:10:09.279 --> 00:10:13.000
source of the stress or the pressure. So if that

168
00:10:13.360 --> 00:10:16.559
pressure and stress is coming from work, projects, work deadlines,

169
00:10:17.039 --> 00:10:20.519
then that's we've sort of become consumed by that, and

170
00:10:20.600 --> 00:10:25.240
everything else just blurs into the background. Life becomes much smaller,

171
00:10:25.320 --> 00:10:29.679
hence the exhaustion funnel getting narrower and narrower and narrower,

172
00:10:30.240 --> 00:10:33.639
until eventually we just lose all of our capacity for joy.

173
00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:37.080
You know, we feel quite isolated and disconnected from the

174
00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:40.679
people around us. Our sense of self worth, our sense

175
00:10:40.720 --> 00:10:43.600
of self efficacy is affected. We start feeling like there's

176
00:10:43.639 --> 00:10:46.720
a problem with ourselves that we're not able to manage this.

177
00:10:47.559 --> 00:10:49.840
We're not necessarily talking to other people, so we're not

178
00:10:49.879 --> 00:10:53.159
getting other people's perspective, or if we do get other

179
00:10:53.159 --> 00:10:55.639
people's perspective, we tend to dismiss it. We don't really

180
00:10:55.720 --> 00:10:57.600
hear what other people have to say because we have

181
00:10:57.639 --> 00:11:01.000
a kind of distorted perception of what's going on and

182
00:11:01.000 --> 00:11:03.360
what the problem is and what needs to be done

183
00:11:03.399 --> 00:11:08.799
to fix it. So we get ourselves into potentially a really,

184
00:11:08.840 --> 00:11:13.360
really bad, unhealthy situation where we are at risk of burnout.

185
00:11:13.360 --> 00:11:16.600
The bottom of that funnel is complete burnout. So I

186
00:11:16.759 --> 00:11:19.799
was first introduced to the exhaustion funnel. And obviously, in

187
00:11:19.840 --> 00:11:23.759
the context of mindfulness, we're talking about teaching people with

188
00:11:23.879 --> 00:11:26.440
mindfulness to be able to be more present to what's

189
00:11:26.440 --> 00:11:29.440
happening as it's happening, and to be able to choose

190
00:11:30.080 --> 00:11:33.320
a different response rather than getting swept up and before

191
00:11:33.320 --> 00:11:35.879
we're not bending ending up at the bottom of this funnel.

192
00:11:36.279 --> 00:11:38.960
So I was, in fact very intrigued to see that

193
00:11:39.720 --> 00:11:43.399
good old Herbert Freudenberger back in the seventies describe this

194
00:11:43.879 --> 00:11:46.279
twelve step process, and as I talk you through it,

195
00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:48.600
I think you will recognize there's a lot of the

196
00:11:48.720 --> 00:11:51.840
exhaustion funnel in this, so I'll run through these really quickly.

197
00:11:53.000 --> 00:11:56.000
The first step is the compulsion to prove oneself. Often

198
00:11:56.039 --> 00:11:58.720
found at the beginning is excessive ambition. So these are

199
00:11:58.799 --> 00:12:01.879
hard working, high a chiep people that desire to prove

200
00:12:01.960 --> 00:12:05.159
oneself in the workplace, and this becomes kind of compulsive.

201
00:12:05.200 --> 00:12:08.559
We get on this high achieving, high status, prove myself

202
00:12:08.639 --> 00:12:12.200
kind of treadmill, which is not an uncommon one to

203
00:12:12.200 --> 00:12:15.600
be on. Many many people are on that treadmill. We

204
00:12:15.679 --> 00:12:19.600
start working harder. So people establish very high personal expectations

205
00:12:19.639 --> 00:12:22.720
in order to prove themselves, particularly if you're trying to

206
00:12:22.759 --> 00:12:26.120
fit into an organization that maybe doesn't necessarily suit you,

207
00:12:26.840 --> 00:12:30.080
and to meet these expectations, you tend to focus solely

208
00:12:30.159 --> 00:12:35.919
on work, taking on more work than you potentially otherwise would.

209
00:12:36.159 --> 00:12:39.919
So again it's just working longer and harder. Then they

210
00:12:39.960 --> 00:12:44.000
start stage three, neglecting one's needs. Since they're devoting everything

211
00:12:44.039 --> 00:12:46.360
to work, they now have no time or energy for

212
00:12:46.399 --> 00:12:51.000
anything else friends, family, eating, sleeping. These all start seeming

213
00:12:51.279 --> 00:12:54.840
unnecessary and unimportant because they reduce the time and energy

214
00:12:54.919 --> 00:13:00.000
that can be spent on work. The next one is

215
00:12:59.759 --> 00:13:02.159
this placement of conflict, so becoming aware that what they're

216
00:13:02.159 --> 00:13:04.519
doing isn't right, but not really able to see the

217
00:13:04.559 --> 00:13:06.759
source of the problem. So this is that sort of

218
00:13:06.799 --> 00:13:09.120
disordered perception that I told you about, and this is

219
00:13:09.120 --> 00:13:12.159
when the first physical symptoms may potentially start to appear.

220
00:13:12.679 --> 00:13:14.519
So the next stage is that while falling into a

221
00:13:14.519 --> 00:13:18.559
state of denying basic physical needs, so neglecting sleep, neglecting food.

222
00:13:19.440 --> 00:13:22.679
Value systems start to change, where work becomes the number

223
00:13:22.720 --> 00:13:26.519
one focus. Work starts to consume all your energy, there's

224
00:13:26.559 --> 00:13:30.440
nothing left. The job becomes the new value system, and

225
00:13:30.720 --> 00:13:35.360
people start to become emotionally blunt. We going to denial,

226
00:13:35.879 --> 00:13:39.120
so starting to become intolerant, starting to not want to

227
00:13:39.120 --> 00:13:45.039
be social, irritable, losing humor, little, aggressive, little sarcastic, little

228
00:13:45.039 --> 00:13:47.639
don't have time for anything, in no mood to chit chat.

229
00:13:48.200 --> 00:13:50.039
You get that you've either been there yourself or you

230
00:13:50.080 --> 00:13:53.960
know somebody who is in that place. Problems are blamed

231
00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:56.720
on time pressure and all the work. It's not about

232
00:13:56.799 --> 00:14:00.879
themselves and how they're managing that. Social contact starts to

233
00:14:00.879 --> 00:14:04.440
turn into isolation. We start becoming very very withdrawn. Maybe

234
00:14:04.440 --> 00:14:07.600
by this stage we're turning to alcohol, recreational drugs, other

235
00:14:07.679 --> 00:14:11.840
unhealthy coping strategies to manage the stress that is accumulating.

236
00:14:12.559 --> 00:14:16.480
This is about when people start to feel like start

237
00:14:16.480 --> 00:14:19.919
feeling hopeless, and hopeless is a really bad sign. There

238
00:14:19.919 --> 00:14:25.480
are obvious behavioral changes. Coworkers, family and friends will know this.

239
00:14:25.600 --> 00:14:28.120
They will see this. They might even point this out.

240
00:14:28.200 --> 00:14:32.639
These are undeniable behavior changes. This is when the next

241
00:14:32.679 --> 00:14:34.720
step is it is possible that at this point you

242
00:14:34.840 --> 00:14:37.639
no longer see yourself or others as valuable. There's this

243
00:14:37.799 --> 00:14:42.039
depersonalization that comes along, the view of life narrows to

244
00:14:42.159 --> 00:14:44.600
only seeing the moment, and life turns into a series

245
00:14:44.639 --> 00:14:48.200
of mechanical functions, just going through the motions. There is

246
00:14:48.360 --> 00:14:54.200
no joy, it's completely emotionally detached, emotionally disconnected. Stage ten

247
00:14:54.360 --> 00:14:58.559
in an emptiness, beginning to feel empty inside, maybe exaggerating

248
00:14:58.559 --> 00:15:02.440
other activities that give you sense of pleasure, the dopamine rush,

249
00:15:02.480 --> 00:15:08.559
potentially food, sex, drugs, alcohol, depression may happen. This is

250
00:15:08.600 --> 00:15:12.480
when you are exhausted, completely burnt out, indifferent, starting to

251
00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:14.720
believe that life has no meaning. And twelve is the

252
00:15:14.759 --> 00:15:17.600
bottom of the barrel. Basically, twelve is when you hit

253
00:15:17.919 --> 00:15:23.120
complete physical collapse. So that with Freudenberger's twelve steps, I've

254
00:15:23.159 --> 00:15:28.600
just described Mary Asberg's from the University of Stockholm's exhaustion funnel.

255
00:15:28.720 --> 00:15:31.200
As you can tell, they're very much describing the same

256
00:15:31.240 --> 00:15:34.480
thing in a different way. So that is what burnout

257
00:15:34.600 --> 00:15:37.720
looks like, and that is how people end up in

258
00:15:37.759 --> 00:15:40.399
a really, really bad place. And there's obviously lots of

259
00:15:40.440 --> 00:15:43.279
points along the way where something might be able to

260
00:15:43.279 --> 00:15:46.440
be done differently if there was enough awareness and enough

261
00:15:46.440 --> 00:15:49.200
recognition of what was happening and enough sense of perspective

262
00:15:49.240 --> 00:15:51.240
to be able to change that. The thing is, it

263
00:15:51.279 --> 00:15:55.240
often feels like it can't be changed. Often feels often

264
00:15:55.279 --> 00:15:58.279
a feeling of being trapped. And I would say this

265
00:15:58.279 --> 00:16:02.279
this is particularly true with parent burnout. There is clear

266
00:16:02.559 --> 00:16:06.960
feelings of being trapped and unable to escape. And the

267
00:16:07.080 --> 00:16:10.639
point that has been made about parental burnout is that

268
00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:14.039
even with workplace burnout, if you feel like you can't

269
00:16:14.120 --> 00:16:16.759
quit your job, there is the option of calling in sick.

270
00:16:17.200 --> 00:16:20.799
There is the option of stress leave. There are times

271
00:16:20.840 --> 00:16:25.480
even if you can't psychologically escape from the pressure and

272
00:16:25.519 --> 00:16:28.279
from the work, you can physically not show up, and

273
00:16:28.320 --> 00:16:32.399
so there are options available. Whereas parental burnout, when you've

274
00:16:32.399 --> 00:16:34.240
got kids in your care that you need to look

275
00:16:34.279 --> 00:16:38.159
after every day, there is often absolutely no physical reprieve

276
00:16:38.279 --> 00:16:50.480
at all. So burnout is partly a problem of the environment,

277
00:16:50.679 --> 00:16:58.039
the excessive pressures and demands of an underresourced, understaffed work environment, micromanaging,

278
00:16:58.120 --> 00:17:01.360
boss bullying, behaving in the workplace like there's a whole

279
00:17:01.360 --> 00:17:04.759
lot of workplace issues or environmental issues that can contribute

280
00:17:05.119 --> 00:17:11.200
to that emotional psychological pressure. But there's obviously also internal pressures.

281
00:17:11.240 --> 00:17:17.160
There is obviously internal individual characteristics that will potentially lead

282
00:17:17.200 --> 00:17:19.920
somebody to be more prone to burn out. The perfectionists,

283
00:17:20.039 --> 00:17:23.799
the high achiever, the one who holds themselves to unrelenting standards,

284
00:17:24.160 --> 00:17:28.440
the people who take excessive responsibility for looking after everybody

285
00:17:28.440 --> 00:17:32.319
else rather than being able and willing to set boundaries

286
00:17:32.319 --> 00:17:35.680
and prioritize their own needs, the people who particularly in

287
00:17:36.400 --> 00:17:39.200
caring roles and compassionate roles. And in fact, it was

288
00:17:39.240 --> 00:17:45.440
first conceptualized as a syndrome that affects caregivers, people who

289
00:17:45.480 --> 00:17:49.000
are in contact with other people in their jobs. So

290
00:17:49.039 --> 00:17:51.960
if you're in a helping profession, it can feel very

291
00:17:51.960 --> 00:17:55.119
difficult to take care of your own needs when there's

292
00:17:55.160 --> 00:17:59.079
people immediately relying on you. It is really important to

293
00:17:59.279 --> 00:18:01.680
understand what the risks are if you don't do that.

294
00:18:02.240 --> 00:18:05.519
So what I wanted to share with you today is

295
00:18:05.559 --> 00:18:08.319
something that was introduced to me a couple of years ago.

296
00:18:08.359 --> 00:18:10.440
I came across a book called Burnout. I was very

297
00:18:10.440 --> 00:18:13.119
interested in Burnout. I was very much going through down

298
00:18:13.160 --> 00:18:16.279
this exhaustion funnel myself at the time. So I was

299
00:18:16.440 --> 00:18:20.839
very familiar and what these two twin sisters, Emily and

300
00:18:20.839 --> 00:18:23.279
Amelia Nagoski. If you have not heard of them or

301
00:18:23.319 --> 00:18:26.359
heard of the book, you can google them. But they

302
00:18:26.359 --> 00:18:29.079
wrote this book about how to complete the stress cycle,

303
00:18:29.160 --> 00:18:33.200
and this was fascinating to me. It was so interesting

304
00:18:33.519 --> 00:18:35.079
and that is what I want to share with you today.

305
00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:39.279
So besides the obvious, making sure that you are being

306
00:18:39.319 --> 00:18:42.759
present and attentive and mindful of your own physical and

307
00:18:42.839 --> 00:18:47.519
mental health, setting boundaries, making sure that you're getting enough sleep, healthy,

308
00:18:47.559 --> 00:18:51.000
appropriate work life balance, all of that stuff goes without saying.

309
00:18:51.000 --> 00:18:52.960
We can talk about that a bit more later. But

310
00:18:53.079 --> 00:18:57.359
what they talked about in their book was this idea

311
00:18:57.920 --> 00:19:01.960
that there is clear distinction between a stress or and

312
00:19:02.039 --> 00:19:04.960
that is the thing in your environment causing you stress.

313
00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:07.200
And a stress or can be outside in your environment,

314
00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:09.960
or it can be your own way of thinking. You know,

315
00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:13.759
your own internal talk and as I said, your perfectionism,

316
00:19:13.799 --> 00:19:16.000
the demands that you place on yourself, high expectations you

317
00:19:16.039 --> 00:19:19.039
place in yourself, they can all be stress ores as well.

318
00:19:19.559 --> 00:19:22.400
But typically we talk about the stress or being something

319
00:19:22.400 --> 00:19:26.400
in your environment causing you stress, and stress is the

320
00:19:26.440 --> 00:19:28.960
process that is happening inside your physical body. Is the

321
00:19:28.960 --> 00:19:33.759
physiological reaction that is happening, this chemical kind of cascade

322
00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:37.240
that is happening all of your hormonal systems. I talked

323
00:19:37.240 --> 00:19:40.599
about chronic childhood stress earlier on this show, and I

324
00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:44.200
talked about the effect that chronic stress has on every

325
00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:46.680
system in your body. So it happens in you're a child,

326
00:19:46.759 --> 00:19:51.400
it also happens when you're an adult. Chronic stress impacts

327
00:19:51.440 --> 00:19:56.440
your reproductive system, respiratory system, endocrine system, you know, your

328
00:19:56.440 --> 00:20:00.680
adrenal system, musculo scalidle, every system in your body impacted

329
00:20:00.799 --> 00:20:04.319
by excessive stress. And we know that stress response as

330
00:20:04.319 --> 00:20:07.079
the fight or flight response, fight flight freeze. We're all

331
00:20:07.160 --> 00:20:12.160
very familiar. Here's the interesting thing. When you are confronted

332
00:20:12.279 --> 00:20:15.440
with something stressful and your body goes into its fight

333
00:20:15.519 --> 00:20:18.279
flight response, it starts producing the cortisol and the adrenaline

334
00:20:18.319 --> 00:20:21.319
to prepare to get you out of that situation. That

335
00:20:22.160 --> 00:20:24.720
flood of cortisol and everything that happens in your body

336
00:20:24.920 --> 00:20:28.119
is designed to serve a purpose. It's designed to get

337
00:20:28.160 --> 00:20:30.880
you safe. It's designed to get you out of the situation,

338
00:20:30.960 --> 00:20:34.839
to fight off the predator, to flee. In the animal kingdom,

339
00:20:35.440 --> 00:20:39.960
you might notice that when a dog or any anbal

340
00:20:40.519 --> 00:20:42.880
feels stressed, so they come around the corner and they

341
00:20:42.960 --> 00:20:45.559
bump into another dog and there's a bit of stress

342
00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:48.240
and bit of barking or whatever. Then what happens when

343
00:20:48.279 --> 00:20:51.000
they move on and they continue on their walk, is

344
00:20:51.039 --> 00:20:54.720
their whole body shakes. They shake off that stress. Their

345
00:20:54.759 --> 00:20:57.799
body completes a stress cycle. A body has to go

346
00:20:57.880 --> 00:21:02.279
through a whole cycle to discharge and emotion. What Emily

347
00:21:02.279 --> 00:21:04.640
and a million of Gooski describe is that emotions have

348
00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:08.319
a beginning, a middle, and an end. And so if

349
00:21:08.319 --> 00:21:11.480
we're not getting to the end, if we're not discharging

350
00:21:11.599 --> 00:21:14.559
that emotion from our body, that emotion is staying trapped

351
00:21:14.839 --> 00:21:17.680
in our body, and that is what is causing all

352
00:21:17.680 --> 00:21:20.039
of the pressure and the stress on our nervous system,

353
00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:22.240
on our body and brain, on the way we think,

354
00:21:22.279 --> 00:21:24.640
on the way we perceive the options we consider that

355
00:21:24.680 --> 00:21:27.799
are available to us, but particularly our physical health. So

356
00:21:28.039 --> 00:21:32.680
they describe burnout as being stuck in the stress cycle,

357
00:21:32.799 --> 00:21:36.519
stuck in the middle of that stress emotion and not

358
00:21:36.559 --> 00:21:41.400
giving ourselves the opportunity to discharge that stress. And what

359
00:21:41.480 --> 00:21:46.880
they propose is that even when the stress or is

360
00:21:46.920 --> 00:21:50.400
still present in your environment. Even when the thing that

361
00:21:50.519 --> 00:21:54.240
is placing the demands on you is still there, there

362
00:21:54.279 --> 00:21:57.960
is nothing to stop you from on a regular basis,

363
00:21:58.039 --> 00:22:01.359
daily basis, discharging the stress through your body. And there's

364
00:22:01.400 --> 00:22:03.319
plenty of very simple ways that you can do that

365
00:22:03.400 --> 00:22:05.519
to move that stress through your body so that that

366
00:22:05.680 --> 00:22:09.799
stress is not staying trapped in your body placing all

367
00:22:09.839 --> 00:22:14.039
of that pressure on all of your internal organs and systems.

368
00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:18.559
The other thing is, even when the stress or is removed,

369
00:22:18.680 --> 00:22:22.079
even when you are not in that stressful situation, you

370
00:22:22.240 --> 00:22:26.759
still need to move that stress through your body. So

371
00:22:26.920 --> 00:22:30.079
a really great example is, like, let's say you have

372
00:22:30.279 --> 00:22:32.640
just had a big blow up at work. There's been

373
00:22:32.680 --> 00:22:35.200
something really difficult or stressfully, it's stuck in traffic and

374
00:22:35.240 --> 00:22:38.039
it's been really frustrating and something that has just caused

375
00:22:38.079 --> 00:22:41.519
you to feel really frustrated. You know that when you

376
00:22:41.599 --> 00:22:44.200
walk in the door at home, just because you've walked

377
00:22:44.200 --> 00:22:46.279
in the door and you're suddenly not in the work meeting,

378
00:22:46.440 --> 00:22:49.799
you're not in the traffic, you're not in the stressful

379
00:22:49.799 --> 00:22:53.119
conversation anymore. You're home, you're safe, you're able to relax.

380
00:22:53.640 --> 00:22:57.440
Doesn't mean you're relaxed, all of that stress is often

381
00:22:57.480 --> 00:23:00.519
still coursing through your body, all of those feelings of

382
00:23:00.559 --> 00:23:04.119
frustration and irritation, like it is all still in your body.

383
00:23:05.079 --> 00:23:08.319
So just being out of the situation, and even if

384
00:23:08.359 --> 00:23:11.160
you were to quit your job, you still have that

385
00:23:11.279 --> 00:23:15.480
stress in your body that needs to be discharged. So

386
00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:18.799
they propose that on a daily basis, on a very

387
00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:24.839
regular basis, you do something to complete the stress cycle.

388
00:23:25.759 --> 00:23:27.200
The ways that you can do that, the ways that

389
00:23:27.240 --> 00:23:30.480
you can discharge that emotion from your body, to keep

390
00:23:30.519 --> 00:23:33.079
everything moving, to keep all of the systems operating as

391
00:23:33.119 --> 00:23:37.000
they should, to give you the best chance of staying

392
00:23:37.279 --> 00:23:40.799
healthy and keeping at the top of that funnel where

393
00:23:40.799 --> 00:23:44.640
you have a wider perspective keeping your health on track.

394
00:23:45.359 --> 00:23:48.920
Number one is movement, so physically moving your body. And

395
00:23:48.960 --> 00:23:50.160
it doesn't mean you have to go out to a

396
00:23:50.240 --> 00:23:53.039

How to prevent yourself from burning out

New to Crappy to Happy?

How to cultivate unshakeable self-confidence

Do you have an "Upper Limit Problem"?

Reclaiming Happiness: Why Every Woman Needs a Passion Project

Dispelling Myths About Menopause and HRT with Dr Louise Newson (Part …