April 3, 2022

How to reclaim your creative life with Eve Rodsky (Part 2)

How to reclaim your creative life with Eve Rodsky (Part 2)
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How to reclaim your creative life with Eve Rodsky (Part 2)
How to reclaim your creative life with Eve Rodsky (Part 2)
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Season 7 Women's Health And Wellbeing Creativity & Self-Expression

Eve Rodsky passionately believes women need uninterrupted time and space to express their creativity. In a world where we are all too busy, Eve says this ‘unicorn space’ must be a non-negotiable if we want to live a connected, creative life. In this chat with Cass Dunn, Eve explains:

  • Why the most important part of unicorn space is the feeling of self expression
  • The value of ‘I can’t believe I just did that’ moments
  • The three C’s of unicorn space: curiosity, connection and completion
  • Why completion isn’t about becoming a master
  • The importance of sharing your creative pursuits with others
  • Why small steps signal seriousness
  • And much more!


Connect with Eve:https://www.everodsky.com/Buy her books here: Fair Play: booktopia.kh4ffx.net/fairplayFind Your Unicorn Space: https://booktopia.kh4ffx.net/unicorn
Connect with Cass:www.crappytohappypod.comhello@crappytohappypod.com 
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypodwww.tiktok.com/crappytohappypod
Join the free 7-day Happiness Challenge:www.cassdunn.com/happiness

Connect with Cass:

www.cassdunn.com
www.instagram.com/cassdunn_xo

Contact Crappy to Happy:

Email: hello@crappytohappypod.com
www.crappytohappypod.com
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypod
www.tiktok.com/@crappytohappypod


Are you a coach, therapist, service provider or solopreneur struggling with self-doubt and imposter syndrome? I'd love to talk to you! (for market research purposes only!)

Book a call with me to share your experience.

Want more great content and less ads?

Upgrade to Paid in the Spotify or Apple podcasts App to get immediate access to "Beyond Happy", the subscriber only podcast featuring bonus content, meditations and more!
Transcript
WEBVTT

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A listener production.

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This is Crappita Happy, and I am your host, Cas Doune.

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I'm a clinical and coaching psychologist and mindfulness meditation teacher

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and of course, author of the Crappita Happy books. In

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this show, I bring you conversations with interesting, inspiring, intelligent

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people who are experts in their field and who have

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something of value to share that will help you feel

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less crappy and more happy. A couple of months ago,

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I had the wonderful Eve Rodsky as my guest on

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the podcast, and we talked about her first book, fair Play,

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which was all about helping couples divvy up their domestic

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responsibilities more fairly. Eve is a Harvard trained organizational management

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consultant and she's developed a really clever system to help

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women stop taking on an unfair share of the mental

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and physical load. I promise you guys there would be

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a part two with Eve, and after lots of difficulties

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with scheduling, I finally have her back on the show

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and today we are talking about her second book, which

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is called Find your Unicorn Space Reclaim your Creative Life

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in a Too Busy World. This book is all about

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Eve's passionate belief that once women have carved out more

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time for themselves, they must use some of that time

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for self expression and creativity. I could not be more

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on board with this idea. Eve calls this time unicorn

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space because it is just as magical and mythical, and

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in this ie opening chat, she explains exactly what kinds

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of things we can do in our own personal unicorn

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space and how this leads to a more connected and

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creative life.

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I know you're going to love it. Here's my chat

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with Eve. Eve.

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Welcome back to the Crappit to Happy podcast.

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So good to have you here again.

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Well, we had a lot of fun last time casts

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I'm glad to be back for part two.

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Eve.

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Last time we talked about fair play and fair play life.

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It was such a great conversation, so relevant to listeners

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of the Crappy a Happy show and I got lots

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of really amazing feedback about that episode. And if anybody

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hasn't listened yet, please do go back and listen to

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my first conversation with Eve about how we can more

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fairly share the load in our relationships. Really great advice.

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But Eve, once we have achieved that, once we have

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changed our approach to how we manage our household and

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the division of labor in our household, then we are

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able to create what you call unicorn space. And I

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love this concept. Can you please for my listeners, explain

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what is unicorn space?

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Well?

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Cas, how often do we get uninterrupted attention and space

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for things that we love as women?

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Never?

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It's magical, it's mythical, but like a mythical equaine, it

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doesn't freaking exist until we reclaim it. And the beauty

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of a unicorn space is that. The most important thing

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I want to explain is that a creative life redefined

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as unicorn space cast is actually a really connected life.

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It helps us with this shadow pandemic that so many

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women have reported to me, which is that even in

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midst being locked down with their families, they feel really

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isolated and alone and lonely. And that's the beauty of

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occupying a unicorn space. This is not a one off

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spin class in a dark room or being even by

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yourself with paints. It's a life of curiosity, connection and completion.

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And that's really why I wanted to write this book,

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because I felt like, especially coming out of a pandemic

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where our time was chopped up. Women were interrupted every

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three minutes and forty two seconds, according to.

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One Time You study.

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I wanted women to believe that they have a permission

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to be unavailable from their roles and reclaim uninterrupted attention

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for things that they love.

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Permission to be unavailable. That in itself sounds magical and mystical.

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Most of my audience are women, working women, a lot

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of mothers and for them, and I have worked a

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lot over the last few years in these communities of women.

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This permission to be unavailable. Why is that so challenging

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for women? Because it is.

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Such a great question.

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It's the same way that fair play in and of itself,

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the idea of a structured decision making tool to help

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you make decisions so that your house is a chaotic

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like that should be a no brainer. Like we're in

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a no excuse zone cast, right, we should always have

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systems to make decisions. That's not a no brainer because

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of how women have been conditioned to think about our time,

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the same way that creative living is not a no

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brainer for women because of the same way we've been

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conditioned about how to use our time. So, actually, why

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this is a sequel is because we pick up on

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where we left off and crappy the happy one, which

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is this idea that we are not trained to be unavailable.

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We're actually trained to believe that time is our most

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valuable currency. We know that, but we're actually trained to

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give it away for free to everybody else. So true,

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and that benefits everybody except for women themselves. Availability having

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your phone near your desk, picking up of the school calls,

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being there, if your child needs something, being there, if

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your partner needs something, Hey, do you have a second

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to go over this presentation with me? A lot of women,

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we have been conditioned to be available to everybody but ourselves.

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And that's why just jumping into the creative program casts

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can only be written by white man.

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If you're a woman writing, you know that you have work.

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To do to get women to live a creative life.

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And part of the first part of the book, find

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your Unicorn Space. The first hundred pages are an unlearned

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of why we do deserve that permission to be unavailable.

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Why guilt and shame are the two emotions that are

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most likely to make us change our decision making for

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the worse. Why we are not trained to ask for

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what we need. Those things are really really important. We

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cannot dismiss them, and they are part of a larger

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system for why again, women end up with about half

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as much leisure time as men on average.

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You make a point if that when we talk about

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this unicorn space and this time that we can be unavailable,

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that it is not going to a spin class. It

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is not even necessarily catching up with a girlfriend for

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a coffee. It is not just this me time that

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we hear all about. You talk about it very specifically

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being about creative self expression. Can you please explain for

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the listeners that distinction, because I think most people listening

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and the people that I talk to, you know, they

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think if they get half an hour out on their

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own to go have a coffee with a girlfriend or

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to go to a feitness class, that should be grateful

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for that. Why is it important that this be creative space?

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Such a great distinction. Thank you for bringing that up.

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Unicorn space is not a spin class. It is not

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a drink with a friend, even though those are baseline

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important that should be the bottom of your mauslows hierarchy.

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We're talking about something different here. We're talking about mental

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and physical health and the beauty of what I found

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in the research for Unicorn Space and fair Play is

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that mental and physical health daily flourishing. Actually, this is

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a great study that comes out of New Zealand. Daily

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flourishing is associated with creative pursuits, creativity and why. And

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I don't just mean a paintbrush cass. I mean what

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I just said before, I mean a broader definition of creativity.

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And instead of actually just keeping to define what curiosity,

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connection and completion is, what I'll substitute in is the feeling.

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So, after interviewing seven hundred.

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And fifty people in seventeen countries, the common feeling when

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people were living a Unicorn Space life or it had

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a Unicorn Space experience a cycle of that curiosity, connection

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and completion was I can't believe I just did that.

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That was the most common phrase, instead of you know,

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every day overwhelmed and boredom, which were the two top

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words that we talked about in fair Play, which is

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like I can't believe I had to freaking do that.

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This is I can't believe I just did that.

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So, whether it's.

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Uploading the podcast cast, you know, and saying I can't

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believe I just did that again. You know another episode

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in the books where I was curious, I connected with

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somebody and I completed this, I edited it, I got

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it up. This is a unicorn space, or I'm going

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to put that in your that words in your mouth,

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because I know it is. Because I hear you interviewing

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other women. I feel you in that flow state, in

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that unicorn space. But in general, we need more of that.

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So even this one woman who was so busy, she

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said to me, I didn't believe in unicorn space, but

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I took your homework assignment. And the homework assignment that

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asked her to do for me was one day in

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the next seven days. I asked her, I want the

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most important thing you do that day to be outside

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your roles as a parent and our partner and our professional.

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So she said.

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She responded to me and said, I jumped into the

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Atlantic Ocean. I joined a polar bear class. There was

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ten women of us. We jumped into four degrees in

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the Atlantic Ocean. And I can't believe I just did that.

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And so I said, there you go again. There is

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that phrase. So that's what I give to your listeners.

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I gift you.

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A practice of I can't believe I just did that moment.

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I was just flaking back through the book again this

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morning before we got on this conversation, and this phrase

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that jumped out off the page was have you lost

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sight of you underneath your to do list? And I

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think most people, most women would answer one hundred percent

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yes to that. So is this pursuit of finding the

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unicorn space really about reconnecting back to who you are

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beneath all of those roles?

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Absolutely, And that's why, again, why this is different than

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self care or commodified wellness. While you're not going to

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get this from a manicure, what we're talking about here

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is the stakes are really high. The stakes are really

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high when you lose your identity. When you're erased, we

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become gray versions of ourselves. We have women are twice

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as likely to be diagnosed with anxiety disorders. We start

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using words like mimmy juice, or in the nineteen fifties

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and sixties, people were prescribed medicine for hysteria just to

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get through their day. We end up coping in hetonic ways,

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hedonistic ways, casts and so this gets a little bit

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into the science of it, which is, as women the

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easiest way to cope, or at least from the research,

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the easiest quickest way to cope would be happiness without

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meaning experiences.

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So what do I mean by that?

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Alcohol, escapism, binge watching, being with your kids, but actually

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doom scrolling you know, Twitter, Instagram. That's the easiest because

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you can sort of convince yourself you're still present.

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But it's nothing.

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It doesn't do anything, it's not nutritious, it doesn't do

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anything for our mental and physical health. That happiness without meaning,

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whereas meaning without happiness is associated with caregiving and a

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lot of times that I know that in my life.

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You know, I'd rather be in a root canal chair.

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That's what the studies show.

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People would rather be in a root canal chair than

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be with their toddlers. And I feel that existentially it's fine,

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it's great, but I don't feel happy, especially when my

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kid roundhouse kicks me in the eye and I'm trying

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to keep my shit together. So, women, we often end

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up in happiness without meaning experiences. We could end up

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in meaning without happiness experiences. What I'm asking for you

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is to understand that the umbrella for the hard because

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this is not about being happy all the time. This

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is having experiences in your week where happiness and meaning collide,

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and then what happens is they become your umbrella in

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the weather. So, for example, back to that Roundhouse kick

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that actually happened to me, where I remember writing a

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chapter of this book. I was having this great morning

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and then Anna Roundhouse kicked me in the eye ended

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up with a giant black eye, and I remember thinking

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to myself, you know what, this feels terrible in the moment,

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but it is I feel like I have a little

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bit of armor because the writing practice this morning is

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making me be able to tolerate the kick to the

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eye with a little bit more grace and humor and generosity.

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Yeah, exactly.

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And I love that because that's exactly the same message

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that I talk about in You Always.

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I love it, Yes, you Always do, my crappy.

239
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A happy book.

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It's not just happiness and it's not just meaning. They

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have to there has to be this intersection of joy

242
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and meaning.

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And I want to just say, your version of happiness

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is what I'm talking about, right, get just like floating

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happy all the time. You know, as one woman said,

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I'm not here at a gratitude journal myself to death.

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It's really understanding the nuance the new ones that this is.

248
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It's a practice, and that's why I love your philosophy cast.

249
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Thank you.

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My latest kind of mission. I'm running this program at

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the moment I might have told you about it last time.

252
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I've called it Beyond Confidence.

253
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And it's a group of women that I take through

254
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this program because I was really tapping into this women

255
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has just so plagued by self doubt and self criticism

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and second guessing and which leads them into perfectionism and

257
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burnout and overwhelm. And exactly the first half of the

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program is also all of this unlearning that you talk

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about as well, like unraveling all of this conditioning. And

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we just had a Zoom call the other day and

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I had been talking about schemers and how our early

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experiences kind of can shape us, you know, blah blah

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coah beliefs that we develop. And one of the schemers

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I talked about was this unrelenting standards and how sometimes

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it can develop out of a childhood where your children's

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natural need for creative self expression and play, spontaneous play,

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when that is stifled, they can grow up with this

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unrelenting standards schema, and this whole organic conversation started with

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this group of women about how they don't know how

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to have fun, and they were saying, this is what

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I grew up with. It was like everything had to

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be structured and organized. But the result being that as adults,

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they literally have no concept of doing something for themselves

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that brings them that sense of joy and meaning, and

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that as soon as they do something that is purely

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for their own not a spin class, a.

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Not a self care kind of trying not to try

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to shrink themselves to be skinnier or.

279
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Be better in some way, you know, to improve, that

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they can't do it. That they immediately try to turn

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it into some projet deeck that they have to master,

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that they have to be the best at. It's actually

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kind of devastating when you think about it, that we

284
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have been conditioned and that then we perpetuate this, and

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we know how important play is for our children and

286
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how important it is and healthy it is for their

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brain development and their social skills and all of the

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rest of it. But somehow, as adults and particularly as women,

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we trivialize this.

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One thousand percent and actually it's been fun to back

291
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to the word fun, to collect data that shows something

292
00:15:53.759 --> 00:15:58.600
really interesting about how people are metabolizing unicorn Space. So

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when men talk to me about your icorn space, and

294
00:16:01.320 --> 00:16:03.120
we've now seen this because the book has been launched

295
00:16:03.159 --> 00:16:07.399
for about three months, they are much more likely cass

296
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and this will be cool to ask your women because

297
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unicorn Space actually starts with an anecdote about my cousin

298
00:16:13.799 --> 00:16:16.279
who was starting She went on a date with a

299
00:16:16.279 --> 00:16:18.000
guy that she thought she really liked, and then she

300
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ended up not ever seeing him again because he asked

301
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her the question what do you do for fun? And

302
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she's like, well, that person obviously has no idea what

303
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it's like to raise two kids as a single parent,

304
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and so he's gone. And I was like, what's so

305
00:16:30.039 --> 00:16:33.320
wrong with that question? But I understand her points. I

306
00:16:33.360 --> 00:16:35.480
understand her point. He didn't have a lot of attachments

307
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in his life, he didn't have kids, and so she

308
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hated that question so much that she didn't see him again.

309
00:16:41.480 --> 00:16:44.960
But what was interesting about how I see unicorn space

310
00:16:44.960 --> 00:16:47.360
in the world now sort of my unis in the wild,

311
00:16:48.080 --> 00:16:53.720
is that men inherently are much more likely to verbify

312
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their life. This is what I've seen now in three months,

313
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and women were more likely to nounify their life.

314
00:16:59.519 --> 00:17:00.519
So what do I mean by that?

315
00:17:02.120 --> 00:17:05.640
Women will say to me, well, I want to sign

316
00:17:05.680 --> 00:17:09.400
up for that marathon, but I'm not a runner, whereas

317
00:17:09.440 --> 00:17:12.880
men will say to me, I'm excited to run. So

318
00:17:13.079 --> 00:17:16.200
what happens when I've been seeing Unicorn space in the world.

319
00:17:16.240 --> 00:17:19.119
Cast back to your point about where is the fun?

320
00:17:20.160 --> 00:17:24.279
It really really impacts the final see of Unicorn space.

321
00:17:24.720 --> 00:17:28.880
There's curiosity, connection and completion. I thought when I got

322
00:17:28.960 --> 00:17:33.039
more reactions to the book that most people would be

323
00:17:33.079 --> 00:17:34.599
stuck in the first sea of I don't know what

324
00:17:34.640 --> 00:17:37.160
I'm even curious about anymore, and there is a passion gap.

325
00:17:37.680 --> 00:17:39.960
If we lose our curiosity for ten years in our

326
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roles as parents, partners, and professionals, it is harder to

327
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start again.

328
00:17:45.279 --> 00:17:46.799
However, there was.

329
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Equally a huge amount of people telling me they were

330
00:17:51.160 --> 00:17:54.720
having problems with the last c completion because they were

331
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saying to me, well, what does completion mean?

332
00:17:57.200 --> 00:17:57.440
Eve?

333
00:17:57.920 --> 00:18:01.319
I played drums just four times failure, and I said,

334
00:18:01.359 --> 00:18:05.000
no called You held drums six in your hand, You

335
00:18:05.079 --> 00:18:07.440
called up a teacher in the pandemic, You sat down

336
00:18:07.480 --> 00:18:10.559
in their studio. You played the drums for four times.

337
00:18:11.160 --> 00:18:13.559
That is a Unicorn Space cycle. You were curious, I

338
00:18:13.599 --> 00:18:15.599
wonder what it's like to play drums. You connected with

339
00:18:15.640 --> 00:18:20.400
a teacher and you completed a lesson, and so that's

340
00:18:20.480 --> 00:18:24.720
not very easy for women to hear. Well, if I'm

341
00:18:24.759 --> 00:18:27.640
not going to become an excellent drummer, what was the point?

342
00:18:27.759 --> 00:18:28.720
What's the point? Exactly?

343
00:18:28.920 --> 00:18:29.599
What's the point?

344
00:18:29.680 --> 00:18:32.079
And so it was making me really sad because whereas

345
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men were saying I played drums instead of I'm a drummer,

346
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whereas women were saying, I'm not a drummer.

347
00:18:38.519 --> 00:18:40.000
So what I'm saying is that.

348
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I want people to verbify their life the way men

349
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were in the past three months in my study, as

350
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opposed to the way women automatically go to the noun R.

351
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I need to I'm not a runner, I'm not an artist.

352
00:18:55.799 --> 00:18:59.599
I'm not a chef. I'm not a baker. Can't you

353
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be a person who beaks? Can you be a person

354
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who runs? Can you be a person who rates? That's

355
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how I help people deal with the completion aspect of

356
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Unicorn Space.

357
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I hope that you're enjoying this conversation and realizing the

358
00:19:17.920 --> 00:19:20.839
benefits of positivity in your own life. If you are

359
00:19:20.960 --> 00:19:23.680
enjoying the show, please be sure to like and subscribe

360
00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:26.039
so that you get notified when you aps drop and

361
00:19:26.119 --> 00:19:28.559
head on over to Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen

362
00:19:28.599 --> 00:19:38.680
and leave us a rating and review. I know you

363
00:19:38.720 --> 00:19:44.720
talk about completion is not perfection, and you also say like,

364
00:19:44.960 --> 00:19:47.440
completion is not Now tell me if I'm getting this right.

365
00:19:47.480 --> 00:19:51.440
Completion is not done? Is that what you mean by

366
00:19:51.440 --> 00:19:52.480
that that you don't.

367
00:19:52.319 --> 00:19:55.359
Have to get to the end goal active pursuits. That's

368
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what we see the mental and physical health. So we know,

369
00:19:58.799 --> 00:20:01.400
and you know, I'm sure totally you may have heard

370
00:20:01.920 --> 00:20:04.079
not ucas, but your audience may have heard. You know

371
00:20:04.160 --> 00:20:08.680
how people who win gold medals they become really out

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00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:15.039
to sea after because they have now what attitude. One

373
00:20:15.079 --> 00:20:17.759
man I interviewed for Unicorn Space he found the Titanic,

374
00:20:18.480 --> 00:20:21.640
and I remember talking to him and saying, well, did

375
00:20:21.680 --> 00:20:23.680
that happen to you the same way it happens to

376
00:20:23.759 --> 00:20:24.960
gold medalists.

377
00:20:24.559 --> 00:20:25.240
Like and now what?

378
00:20:25.519 --> 00:20:29.720
Like I can never ever top that and so my

379
00:20:29.799 --> 00:20:33.720
life is over? And he said no, he said, for me,

380
00:20:34.039 --> 00:20:36.599
I got that thing out of the way, so it

381
00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:39.039
just allowed me to experiment and play the rest of

382
00:20:39.079 --> 00:20:41.279
my life because I know I'll never top that.

383
00:20:42.279 --> 00:20:43.200
So imagine we were.

384
00:20:43.119 --> 00:20:46.319
Able to live like that to say, yes, I may

385
00:20:46.319 --> 00:20:48.799
have been the best CEO or executive, whatever it is.

386
00:20:48.880 --> 00:20:49.440
I did that.

387
00:20:50.079 --> 00:20:52.200
So now the rest of my life I have permission

388
00:20:52.240 --> 00:20:54.759
to play. I can be a person who plays drums.

389
00:20:55.039 --> 00:20:57.759
I could be a person who does pottery, as opposed

390
00:20:57.799 --> 00:20:59.960
to again, well, I'm not going to even start trying

391
00:21:00.039 --> 00:21:02.400
because I'm never going to be a potter, or I'm

392
00:21:02.440 --> 00:21:03.759
never going to be a linguist.

393
00:21:04.559 --> 00:21:06.799
I'm somebody who speaks some Spanish.

394
00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:12.400
It's a reframing of how we look at completion. But

395
00:21:12.519 --> 00:21:14.599
as you said in your class to a lot of

396
00:21:14.640 --> 00:21:17.680
the women you're working with, because we've been conditioned, women

397
00:21:17.720 --> 00:21:20.319
are not allowed to be loud and wrong. We have

398
00:21:20.359 --> 00:21:23.079
to be quite an excellent if we're going to use

399
00:21:23.119 --> 00:21:26.240
our voice, and since we're taught that, if we're not excellent,

400
00:21:26.400 --> 00:21:28.960
we don't really speak up. And so then that's where

401
00:21:29.000 --> 00:21:31.599
all the self doubt comes in. We know that from you.

402
00:21:31.839 --> 00:21:36.119
Men being if they have sixty percents of the qualifications

403
00:21:35.640 --> 00:21:37.880
of a job description, they'll apply.

404
00:21:38.319 --> 00:21:40.519
Women usually have to have ninety to ninety five percent.

405
00:21:40.720 --> 00:21:42.839
So we see it in the workplace, but I also

406
00:21:42.920 --> 00:21:46.119
see it in Unicorn space, where if you're not fully conditioned,

407
00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:48.599
if you're not fully ready, I'm not going to sign

408
00:21:48.720 --> 00:21:50.519
up for the marathon.

409
00:21:51.279 --> 00:21:54.359
Yeah, that is so true. I want to go back

410
00:21:54.400 --> 00:21:55.279
to curiosity.

411
00:21:55.400 --> 00:22:00.559
So curiosity connection completion of these three stages. And as

412
00:22:00.599 --> 00:22:03.279
you said, which is so true, when you have spent

413
00:22:03.319 --> 00:22:07.359
a long time disconnected from your curiosity, it can there

414
00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:10.720
is a gap. It can be really hard to find that. Again,

415
00:22:11.680 --> 00:22:15.920
how do you suggest people start? Well, how do you

416
00:22:15.960 --> 00:22:18.240
suggest that people? Because there are I mean, I speak

417
00:22:18.279 --> 00:22:22.599
to them, these women that have no idea what might

418
00:22:22.680 --> 00:22:24.680
be interesting or fun for them?

419
00:22:25.079 --> 00:22:27.119
Can we play a game that would be a fun

420
00:22:27.160 --> 00:22:30.440
way to Can we do an exercise to leave people

421
00:22:30.480 --> 00:22:33.799
with casts that they can I think it'd be really fun.

422
00:22:33.839 --> 00:22:34.640
Let's play a game.

423
00:22:34.960 --> 00:22:36.759
Okay, I'm scared.

424
00:22:37.559 --> 00:22:39.759
No, No, it's really gonna be it's gonna be super fun.

425
00:22:40.359 --> 00:22:42.839
So this is I call this think outside the box.

426
00:22:43.599 --> 00:22:46.599
I want your listeners to play with us. And it's

427
00:22:46.599 --> 00:22:49.079
a great intro to Unicorn Space because once they uh,

428
00:22:49.559 --> 00:22:52.200
they pick their card, they can read the book to

429
00:22:52.240 --> 00:22:55.240
see how they can Then you know, ticket to.

430
00:22:55.240 --> 00:22:56.079
The next level.

431
00:22:56.720 --> 00:22:59.559
But this is a really fun way to start, so

432
00:23:00.079 --> 00:23:02.839
pass what I'm gonna do and already acknowledging that you have.

433
00:23:03.279 --> 00:23:06.160
This is a unicorn space. This podcast is a unicorn space.

434
00:23:06.200 --> 00:23:09.000
Like I said, I got to listen to you and

435
00:23:09.319 --> 00:23:12.319
see how you share with the world in such a

436
00:23:12.319 --> 00:23:15.920
beautiful way. So let's just say that it's already one.

437
00:23:16.200 --> 00:23:17.920
So don't pick that card.

438
00:23:18.079 --> 00:23:20.160
Don't don't pick start a podcast.

439
00:23:19.960 --> 00:23:22.000
Right right, don't go, don't pick performing because we know

440
00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:23.400
that's one, but I want another one.

441
00:23:23.480 --> 00:23:24.359
I'm gonna give you.

442
00:23:24.279 --> 00:23:28.440
Fifty choices, so don't don't pick one. Don't blurt one

443
00:23:28.440 --> 00:23:29.640
out until you hear them all.

444
00:23:29.839 --> 00:23:30.160
Okay.

445
00:23:30.200 --> 00:23:32.359
That way we give your listeners a chance to also

446
00:23:33.240 --> 00:23:35.799
hear all fifty. Cool, and then we're going to walk

447
00:23:35.799 --> 00:23:40.000
through two questions that someone can ask themselves if they're.

448
00:23:39.839 --> 00:23:43.079
Stuck think outside the box.

449
00:23:43.599 --> 00:23:46.119
A way to ignite your curiosity, which is that first

450
00:23:46.119 --> 00:23:47.079
sea we just talked about.

451
00:23:47.160 --> 00:23:48.640
I've got a note pad, so I can jump down

452
00:23:48.640 --> 00:23:48.960
the ones.

453
00:23:49.799 --> 00:23:53.599
Okay, and then listeners follow along with us.

454
00:23:53.640 --> 00:23:56.400
So here we go. Here's fifty choices. You're gonna wait

455
00:23:56.440 --> 00:23:56.920
till the end.

456
00:23:56.920 --> 00:24:01.000
And then you're gonna give me just one. Spiritual wellness

457
00:24:01.160 --> 00:24:07.839
that's yoga, retreats, racing, cars and boats and horses, etc. Circus,

458
00:24:08.839 --> 00:24:16.960
theater and production, snow sports, sports with balls, triathlon, running,

459
00:24:17.880 --> 00:24:26.359
memories and archiving, sports with wheels, martial arts or combat sports, rhetoric, dance,

460
00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:35.960
animals performing. That's the podcast, Travel and culture, outdoors, water sports, storytelling,

461
00:24:37.359 --> 00:24:43.319
arts and crafts, stitching and needles, music, metallurgy. That's like

462
00:24:43.400 --> 00:24:52.480
jewelry making, woodworking, photography, gardening, slash farming, florals, pottery, beauty,

463
00:24:53.359 --> 00:25:00.000
arrows and axes, building in diy, cooking, baking, coating, slash engine,

464
00:25:00.680 --> 00:25:06.000
games like puzzles, escape rooms, video games, language and anthropology,

465
00:25:07.039 --> 00:25:15.079
health and wellness, event planning, fashion writing, teaching, math and sciences,

466
00:25:15.240 --> 00:25:21.680
research and learning, design, restoration and renovation, finding, collecting, foraging,

467
00:25:22.359 --> 00:25:29.279
other worldly pursuits like tarot and astrology or genealogy and lineage.

468
00:25:29.400 --> 00:25:30.400
And I have to God, only.

469
00:25:30.279 --> 00:25:32.839
Pick one one, just one for right now, just for

470
00:25:32.880 --> 00:25:33.559
the exercise.

471
00:25:33.599 --> 00:25:37.799
Okaess for right now. I choose photography.

472
00:25:38.400 --> 00:25:42.480
Oooh good one. Okay tell me why.

473
00:25:42.720 --> 00:25:46.839
I am a person who really loves photography and what

474
00:25:46.880 --> 00:25:48.640
I do is I buy cameras?

475
00:25:49.759 --> 00:25:51.759
Ooh, okay, tell me about that.

476
00:25:53.200 --> 00:25:55.880
And then I don't really I never know how to

477
00:25:55.960 --> 00:25:58.279
use them, Eve, I don't know what the I don't

478
00:25:58.359 --> 00:26:00.559
understand what an F stopper an I always are a

479
00:26:00.559 --> 00:26:01.200
one that's our.

480
00:26:01.119 --> 00:26:04.920
Metaphor for today, camera's not using them. I love it.

481
00:26:04.920 --> 00:26:05.599
It's so good.

482
00:26:06.079 --> 00:26:07.799
Can I tell you though, that I picked up because

483
00:26:07.799 --> 00:26:11.400
I have just enrolled. I just found a short cause

484
00:26:11.920 --> 00:26:14.920
in a couple of weeks time, and I have registered

485
00:26:14.960 --> 00:26:19.480
myself for an introduction to photography. And this came about

486
00:26:19.519 --> 00:26:22.519
from that conversation about fun that we had in my group.

487
00:26:22.599 --> 00:26:24.000
So I had a bit of a head start with

488
00:26:24.039 --> 00:26:26.200
this exercise. I thought, I have to go and do

489
00:26:26.279 --> 00:26:29.119
this just for my creative self expression. I need to

490
00:26:29.160 --> 00:26:29.519
work out.

491
00:26:29.559 --> 00:26:31.880
I love this, but I'm stuck with not knowing.

492
00:26:32.200 --> 00:26:35.079
Okay, so that's question one. I love it, love it.

493
00:26:35.119 --> 00:26:37.000
You had a head so you had you had the question,

494
00:26:37.039 --> 00:26:40.000
and we just said why. Now this is the harder question,

495
00:26:40.079 --> 00:26:41.960
and this is the number two, which I want your

496
00:26:41.960 --> 00:26:44.799
listeners to do when they pick their card. I want

497
00:26:44.880 --> 00:26:49.359
to hear from you. Now, what values and or feelings

498
00:26:49.359 --> 00:26:50.720
photography brings up for you?

499
00:26:51.880 --> 00:27:00.160
Ooh, values or feelings? Either one feelings. It's a feeling

500
00:27:00.359 --> 00:27:04.279
of I guess it is a feeling of.

501
00:27:04.440 --> 00:27:10.240
Self expression, of connection of yeah, it's a bit of

502
00:27:10.920 --> 00:27:14.759
almost like just I don't know if this is is

503
00:27:14.839 --> 00:27:19.200
beauty the value beauty? Just capturing that?

504
00:27:19.319 --> 00:27:21.000
What do you like to what do you capture? Tell

505
00:27:21.039 --> 00:27:23.640
me what you like to capture? Are you still lifes?

506
00:27:23.640 --> 00:27:24.480
Are you people like?

507
00:27:24.480 --> 00:27:24.759
What is?

508
00:27:24.839 --> 00:27:29.359
What is I typically like to capture people? And I

509
00:27:29.559 --> 00:27:34.519
was struggling to find a cause about portrait photography because

510
00:27:34.519 --> 00:27:36.160
they all sort of go out and take photos of

511
00:27:36.160 --> 00:27:38.960
the scenery and the beach and the landscape, which is lovely,

512
00:27:39.000 --> 00:27:42.160
But I would really love to learn portrait photography capturing

513
00:27:42.240 --> 00:27:43.920
people and people's expressions.

514
00:27:44.279 --> 00:27:44.759
Oh my god.

515
00:27:44.839 --> 00:27:48.319
Okay, so that's beautiful. So what you can do with

516
00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:52.279
that is you can take three values. And what's so

517
00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:58.079
powerful about understanding the values behind what you're doing cast

518
00:27:58.240 --> 00:28:01.759
is you're more likely to do it. So I'm going

519
00:28:01.839 --> 00:28:06.599
to give you back. You said self expression, you said connection,

520
00:28:07.839 --> 00:28:13.440
you said beauty. So those three values, I would say

521
00:28:14.960 --> 00:28:17.400
every single week you should ask yourself did I have

522
00:28:17.599 --> 00:28:23.799
an ability to have self expression in my life? Did

523
00:28:23.799 --> 00:28:26.119
I have an ability to have true connection in my life?

524
00:28:26.119 --> 00:28:28.640
Did I have an ability to have true beauty in

525
00:28:28.680 --> 00:28:33.359
my life and those self expression, connection and beauty through

526
00:28:33.400 --> 00:28:37.200
photography is really powerful because you can also get those

527
00:28:37.200 --> 00:28:38.920
in other areas of your life. You know, you could

528
00:28:38.920 --> 00:28:42.240
get it again through the podcast, you could get it

529
00:28:42.319 --> 00:28:45.599
through maybe picking a flower. So in the times where

530
00:28:45.640 --> 00:28:48.160
you can't do photography, you can also use those values

531
00:28:48.759 --> 00:28:52.920
to still bring little micro you know, moments of unicorn

532
00:28:52.960 --> 00:28:55.079
space into your life. But those are the things I

533
00:28:55.079 --> 00:28:58.880
would say, focus on self expression, connection and beauty. That's

534
00:28:58.880 --> 00:29:03.440
why you're going to do your photography, and then it

535
00:29:03.640 --> 00:29:06.440
just it becomes sort of a guiding light. I like

536
00:29:06.559 --> 00:29:09.480
to take the cards and go two levels deeper why

537
00:29:09.720 --> 00:29:12.960
and then the values and feelings it brings you because

538
00:29:13.000 --> 00:29:15.240
when you know those things, it becomes easier to put

539
00:29:15.319 --> 00:29:18.480
into a regular practice in your life.

540
00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:22.480
That was a really great exercise. Thank you, even Gin

541
00:29:22.559 --> 00:29:24.920
as you were talking, because my other second on my

542
00:29:25.039 --> 00:29:30.319
list was renovation. I'm in the process of planning renovations

543
00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:32.200
in this house that we just moved into, and I thought,

544
00:29:32.279 --> 00:29:34.799
if I really thought about it, probably self expression and

545
00:29:34.799 --> 00:29:37.000
connection and beauty is all wrapped up in that house.

546
00:29:37.079 --> 00:29:40.279
Renovation is I just got chilled. So that's really cool.

547
00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:43.599
It's sort of like, you know, you picked two things

548
00:29:43.640 --> 00:29:47.160
based on these underlying values, and so I would say

549
00:29:47.200 --> 00:29:50.640
the good news is like if you're worried because photography

550
00:29:50.720 --> 00:29:55.160
isn't on the front burner one month, but you're actually doing.

551
00:29:54.920 --> 00:29:56.960
Your renovation that long.

552
00:29:57.240 --> 00:30:00.680
Remember you have those three values all back on and

553
00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:04.279
they both actually will serve that purpose, which is pretty

554
00:30:04.440 --> 00:30:08.000
remarkable that it overlaps that closely. I don't usually see

555
00:30:08.039 --> 00:30:11.519
exactly overlap, but I one hundred percent restoration and renovation

556
00:30:11.599 --> 00:30:12.960
are self expression connection.

557
00:30:13.240 --> 00:30:17.599
Yeah for sure, Yes, yes, Oh that's amazing. And if so,

558
00:30:18.559 --> 00:30:21.440
that was a great exercise, and yes, please everybody go rewind,

559
00:30:21.599 --> 00:30:23.920
listen to the list, make it and do the exercise

560
00:30:24.200 --> 00:30:24.599
with us.

561
00:30:24.759 --> 00:30:27.039
Yes, and you can always share with me on DMS.

562
00:30:27.160 --> 00:30:29.640
We want to know what your card is.

563
00:30:30.200 --> 00:30:33.359
Yes, And if one other thing you mentioned in the

564
00:30:33.839 --> 00:30:38.119
book as well, the unicorn space, the importance of sharing

565
00:30:38.839 --> 00:30:43.160
your creative pursuit with others, can you just talk a

566
00:30:43.160 --> 00:30:45.920
little bit about why that is so important to share?

567
00:30:46.519 --> 00:30:48.680
Well, thank you for drying that out, because a lot

568
00:30:48.680 --> 00:30:51.680
of times in interviews everyone always misses the second see

569
00:30:51.680 --> 00:30:54.440
the connection part. They sort of are more like, how

570
00:30:54.480 --> 00:30:56.599
do we start in curiosity? And then all the perfection

571
00:30:56.680 --> 00:31:00.039
and completion stuff. But that second CE is so so

572
00:31:01.079 --> 00:31:05.160
important in two ways. One because we know that Cass,

573
00:31:05.160 --> 00:31:07.880
if you have a photography partner and accountability partner, so

574
00:31:07.920 --> 00:31:10.240
you become accountable to me. So I say, Cass on

575
00:31:10.279 --> 00:31:13.079
social how you, how is the photography going? You share

576
00:31:13.079 --> 00:31:15.759
your photos with me, You're sixty five percent more likely

577
00:31:15.799 --> 00:31:18.200
to do it if you have a success partner, someone

578
00:31:18.200 --> 00:31:21.799
who's out there with you to also taking portraits of

579
00:31:21.799 --> 00:31:24.119
people doesn't have to be someone you're talking to or

580
00:31:24.119 --> 00:31:26.960
in your space. As introverts, a lot of this is

581
00:31:27.000 --> 00:31:31.000
just someone who's there with you. Success partners increase your

582
00:31:31.200 --> 00:31:35.279
percentage of doing something by over ninety percent. So the

583
00:31:35.599 --> 00:31:41.720
connection piece is part of it is accountability, but also

584
00:31:41.960 --> 00:31:46.400
it's actually a really important see because why you share

585
00:31:46.440 --> 00:31:49.880
yourself with the world becomes another great way to return

586
00:31:49.920 --> 00:31:54.279
to those values. So self expression, connection, and beauty. I

587
00:31:54.279 --> 00:31:56.519
would say if it was renovation, I'd say for you, Cass,

588
00:31:56.559 --> 00:31:58.279
part of the way you're going to share that renovation

589
00:31:58.359 --> 00:32:00.720
with the world, as I'm sure you're to have salons

590
00:32:00.759 --> 00:32:03.640
in your house, You're going to have people over, You're

591
00:32:03.680 --> 00:32:08.559
going to commune people there. That is important. It makes

592
00:32:08.559 --> 00:32:10.799
a renovation even more meaningful if you no one got

593
00:32:10.880 --> 00:32:13.400
to see what you did or your art or what

594
00:32:13.400 --> 00:32:15.200
you're doing. And then what's the point, right, So many

595
00:32:15.200 --> 00:32:17.920
people said to me, well, what's the point, because the

596
00:32:17.920 --> 00:32:21.160
point is that we are meaning seeking species and part

597
00:32:21.200 --> 00:32:24.839
of the meaning is that connection to other human beings.

598
00:32:25.279 --> 00:32:27.799
Back to that value that you just said for your photography,

599
00:32:28.200 --> 00:32:29.960
and so what I'll say to you for your photography

600
00:32:30.279 --> 00:32:34.279
is that it may be that sharing is on social

601
00:32:34.680 --> 00:32:38.279
It could be it could be that maybe your portraits,

602
00:32:38.400 --> 00:32:41.319
the portrait you take, your sharing is just with your group,

603
00:32:41.880 --> 00:32:43.640
or you say to yourself, I want to take all

604
00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:46.000
of your pictures and show you and you're most confident,

605
00:32:46.400 --> 00:32:47.960
or maybe I want to take your pictures and show

606
00:32:48.000 --> 00:32:50.640
you when you think you're not beautiful with no makeup,

607
00:32:50.799 --> 00:32:53.160
or and I want to show you how beautiful you are.

608
00:32:53.200 --> 00:32:54.640
What I don't know, I'm just making things up.

609
00:32:54.680 --> 00:32:59.519
But the point is that sharing is so important because

610
00:32:59.519 --> 00:33:01.720
I think what happened now as people believe when I

611
00:33:01.720 --> 00:33:03.559
say sharing that I mean that they have to be

612
00:33:04.440 --> 00:33:07.920
some influencer on Instagram, And I don't mean that at all.

613
00:33:08.039 --> 00:33:13.200
I mean just sharing with your local community, your family.

614
00:33:14.920 --> 00:33:17.839
Stephanie of Who I Love from Colorado. She started to

615
00:33:17.920 --> 00:33:21.079
make gluten free pies because she wanted to share with

616
00:33:21.119 --> 00:33:24.640
her Celiac community. She said, I love pies so much,

617
00:33:25.240 --> 00:33:30.079
and our pies suck. They're disgusting, and I really want

618
00:33:30.920 --> 00:33:33.119
for people who have Celiac disease to be able to

619
00:33:33.200 --> 00:33:34.480
eat something delicious.

620
00:33:35.240 --> 00:33:37.400
It ended up being she has a huge She does

621
00:33:37.440 --> 00:33:38.920
have a huge social following.

622
00:33:39.039 --> 00:33:41.640
Is her instagram is called pie Lady Books because she

623
00:33:41.680 --> 00:33:44.480
now bakes book covers into her books.

624
00:33:44.519 --> 00:33:45.559
And it's leveled up.

625
00:33:46.240 --> 00:33:48.240
As you know, we talked about nobody wants to die

626
00:33:48.240 --> 00:33:49.960
in level one, but it doesn't.

627
00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:52.119
It never starts that way. It doesn't start that way.

628
00:33:52.160 --> 00:33:54.799
You can have a big goal, for sure, but a

629
00:33:54.799 --> 00:33:56.680
lot of it starts with these small steps that will

630
00:33:56.720 --> 00:33:59.799
signal seriousness. Like just even signing up for that class,

631
00:34:00.160 --> 00:34:01.920
the photography class is a big deal.

632
00:34:02.240 --> 00:34:06.119
I'm writing that down at small steps signal seriousness. That

633
00:34:06.279 --> 00:34:09.440
is a great quote. It only has to start with

634
00:34:09.480 --> 00:34:12.480
small steps. It's those little commitments, right, It's just that

635
00:34:12.559 --> 00:34:15.960
making that little micro commitment, taking some action.

636
00:34:16.400 --> 00:34:20.320
It really is. It's a huge, huge thing to sign

637
00:34:20.400 --> 00:34:22.519
up Gas. I'm glad you did it.

638
00:34:23.280 --> 00:34:25.280
I'm excited, yeah, yeah.

639
00:34:25.079 --> 00:34:26.480
And I'm excited to see what comes of it.

640
00:34:27.000 --> 00:34:30.920
Eve, thank you so much again for all of the

641
00:34:30.920 --> 00:34:32.679
work that you do, for making time and your very

642
00:34:32.679 --> 00:34:35.199
busy schedule to come back and share with our crappy

643
00:34:35.239 --> 00:34:36.440
to happy listeners.

644
00:34:36.519 --> 00:34:41.159
It's been a joy and connecting with you in this

645
00:34:41.440 --> 00:34:43.360
creative way. So thank you again.

646
00:34:43.400 --> 00:34:46.079
I feel the same way. I'm excited to see your photography.

647
00:34:46.840 --> 00:34:50.679
I'm learning to make chocolates, so maybe I can send

648
00:34:50.679 --> 00:34:51.880
them over the seat for you.

649
00:34:52.000 --> 00:34:54.239
Right now, I am excited.

650
00:34:54.280 --> 00:34:58.199
I won't consider it necessarily speaking, I'm trying to figure

651
00:34:58.199 --> 00:35:00.559
out if that's a card of itself chocolate me chocolate.

652
00:35:01.920 --> 00:35:03.679
Yes, that's amazing.

653
00:35:04.039 --> 00:35:05.960
And before you go, I'm going to ask on behalf

654
00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:10.360
of our producer, Beth, does karaoke count as creative self expression?

655
00:35:11.119 --> 00:35:12.320
Absolutely? It's performing.

656
00:35:13.719 --> 00:35:16.400
Beth and I were talking about our shared love of

657
00:35:16.480 --> 00:35:17.800
karaoke just before we came.

658
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:21.559
Absolutely, and then share it together, curiosity, connection, completion, go

659
00:35:22.360 --> 00:35:23.360
buck wild with it.

660
00:35:23.440 --> 00:35:24.360
I love it so much.

661
00:35:28.880 --> 00:35:31.719
Both of Eve's books, which are called fair Play and

662
00:35:31.920 --> 00:35:34.880
Find Your Unicorn Space, are available now in all Good

663
00:35:34.880 --> 00:35:37.960
bookstores or you can listen on audible. Thank you so

664
00:35:38.039 --> 00:35:39.800
much for listening and as always I look forward to

665
00:35:39.800 --> 00:35:41.840
catching you on the next episode of Crappy Tore.

666
00:35:41.840 --> 00:35:51.400
Happy listener,