May 1, 2025

How to Show Up as the Best Version of YOU

How to Show Up as the Best Version of YOU
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How to Show Up as the Best Version of YOU

Today’s episode dives deep into a crucial question: who are you when you’re at your best? I’m inviting you to explore the qualities that make you shine and how to create the conditions in your life that allow you to be at your best more of the time. We discuss the importance of understanding both our best selves and our not-so-great moments, drawing connections between our moods, circumstances, and overall well-being. This episode is all about setting yourself up for success and identifying what conditions allow you to flourish. Takeaways:

  • Knowing who you are at your best means identifying the unique qualities that truly shine when you are living optimally.
  • Listeners are encouraged to consider the conditions that allow for optimal functioning, such as sleep, downtime, and mindful practices to enhance your overall well-being.
  • We touch on the challenges of managing time and energy in a busy life, reminding ourselves to prioritise what truly matters for our mental health.


Connect with Cass:

www.cassdunn.com
www.instagram.com/cassdunn_xo

Contact Crappy to Happy:

Email: hello@crappytohappypod.com
www.crappytohappypod.com
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypod
www.tiktok.com/@crappytohappypod


Are you a coach, therapist, service provider or solopreneur struggling with self-doubt and imposter syndrome? I'd love to talk to you! (for market research purposes only!)

Book a call with me to share your experience.

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Chapters

00:00 - Untitled

01:01 - Untitled

01:01 - Introduction to Crappy to Happy

04:42 - Transitioning the Podcast Format

09:13 - Transitioning Focus: From Book Tours to Meaningful Conversations

18:54 - Identifying Personal Conditions for Success

23:26 - Setting Boundaries for a Balanced Life

Transcript
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This is Crappita Happy and I am your host, Cas Doune.

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I'm a clinical and coaching psychologist. I'm mindfulness meditation teacher

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and of course author of the Crappita Happy books. In

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this show, I bring you conversations with interesting, inspiring, intelligent

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people who are experts in their field and who have

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something of value to share that will help you feel

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less crappy and more happy. Hi, and welcome back to

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Crappita Happy. I am out of the wardrobe. You'll be

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pleased to know back in London, safe and sound. We

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are experiencing the most glorious weather here at the moment,

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which was nice coming back from Australia. You don't want

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to come back into miserable London weather. It is twenty

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seven degrees today. Have you know it's due to plummet

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again on the weekend, But we won't talk about that.

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We're just enjoying the sunshine for now. I have got

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a super special episode for you today which I think

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that you will enjoy. But before I get to the

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content of today's episode, a couple of really quick updates

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on things which might be of interest to you. Number One,

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if you are a member of the Beyond Happy paid

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podcast if you've pressed that little upgrade to paid in

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the Apple app, or if you have jumped onto my

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substack and subscribed there so that you can listen on

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Apple or Spotify. The theme for May. The extra content

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that we are covering in May, exclusive for paid subscribers,

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is We're having a little mindful reset. Now. I know

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that everybody's eyes glaze over when they hear the word

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mindfulness these days, but I'm talking about mindfulness plus. I

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mean mindfulness reworked. I'm talking about a really practical approach

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to managing the difficulties and the stresses of life. I'm

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talking about kind of some of the stuff I was

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talking to you about last week, like when life throws

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your curveballs, what are some of the tools that you

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can tap into that will actually be helpful to you.

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So it is mindfulness, but it's mindfulness plus. It's like, Okay,

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so I'm mindful, I'm present, I know what's going on,

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and then what like and then what? Then what? So

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some somatic works, some emotional processing works and reframing, like

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how do you get out of the anxiety spiral? How

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do you get out of the overthinking how do you

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get out of the overwhelm that kind of thing, right,

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So we'll have a topic a week, there'll be meditations.

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I think it's going to be great. I'm excited. That

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will kick off next week for the paid subs. So

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if you want to opt into that, then away you

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go and opt in. You can opt in for a

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month if you want, and then you can opt out again.

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Of course, the thirty Day Happiness Challenge, the thirty days

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to a Happier Year, which we had last month of

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the month before, that's all still there, so you can

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also just burn your way through those. Well, you have

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got a subscription if you so choose. Not that that's

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like how you're supposed to do it. You're not supposed

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to just like whizz through because you don't remember anything

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that way. But you know it's up to you. You

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can do whatever you want. So that's what's happening for

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the paid subscribers. My very special VIPs. The second thing

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I want to bring to your attention, I mean not

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that you probably really care, but I just feel like

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I need to make a statement about this. I am

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choosing to scale back a little bit on the interviews

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on the show, bringing you more of just me, to

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be honest, So if you actually really like the interviews,

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sorry about that. But there's a reason for that. So

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I thought i'd just give you a little story time

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if you don't mind just to indulge me for five minutes, Well,

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I give you background a little context for why I

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am choosing to scale back on guest episodes. So, going

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back to twenty seventeen, Crapy to Happy first started eight

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years this podcast has been running, so eight years ago,

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it was just me and Tiff Tiff Hall, my good friend,

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fitness trainer, extraordinary gladiator and obviously owner founder of TXO

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fitness program. Tiff and I started the podcast together and

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we did it together for two seasons and it was

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just the two of us. She was the fitness expert,

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I was the mindfulness and mental health expert, and we

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just talked about topics that we knew now. Tiff got

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busy and left the show after two seasons, and so

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I took over as host on my own, and that

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opened up the doors for me to be able to

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bring in guests, and I was actually really excited about

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that because it meant that I can interview people in

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a whole lot of areas that I'm not an expert

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in and Tiff wasn't an expert in, and bring to you,

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the listener, like people who could share really interesting and

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valuable information about a whole range of different professions and

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areas that we couldn't necessarily speak to with any authority.

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So at that time, what I did was I really

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thought about who are the people that I would want

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to talk to or who I would want to bring

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onto the show. And I've really thought about topics that

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were relevant to you, the listener, and I thought who

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was the best person to speak on this topic? So

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it was all driven by me. I decided what I

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wanted to talk about. I decided what the interesting topics were,

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and then I went out and tried to find an

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expert or somebody who was interesting and somebody who was

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well known, but not just because they were well known,

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but because there would be somebody that would be familiar

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to you. So, for example, when I wanted to talk

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to a nutritionist, I got doctor Libby because she was

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well known and she was an expert. I knew that

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she would be familiar and that therefore she would be

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trusted by listeners. Over time, what has happened in the

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podcasting space is that everybody wants to be on a podcast.

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Everybody wants to be a guest on a podcast. It

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is the best way to get yourself promoted. And if

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you written a book and you want to promote your book,

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the number one promotional strategy for authors is to get

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themselves onto podcasts. So as a result, over time, I

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now rather than me going out and approaching people who

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I would like to talk to, it's become very inwards.

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Like I get pitched constantly, which is not a bad

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problem to have, but I'm pitched constantly by people who

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want to get on the podcast, way too many pictures

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for me to even be able to respond to them all. Now,

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go back a couple of years and around twenty twenty

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two when I was moving to the UK and we

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were reviewing what was going to happen with the show.

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At that time, I was all interviews, and I said,

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this is not working for me anymore. I'm no longer

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interested in just interviewing people who want to sell their book,

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or sell their program, or promote themselves. This is not

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how it started for me, and this is not how

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I want it to continue. Also, I have my own expertise,

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and this is my podcast. It's my show, and I

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am not presenting my own expertise and the things that

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I want to talk about. So that's when we switched

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to alternating a solo episode and an interview episode. But

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the interviews were still very much people pitching me. Occasionally

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there would be somebody that I would go for that

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I would approach. I definitely have got you know, I've

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got my list of people that I want to talk

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to on the show. So all of this is to

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say that I made a decision at the beginning of

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the year that I did not want to interview authors

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on their book promotion tour anymore. I really felt like

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there's no value in interviewing people who are on every

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other podcast at the same time. Right, So if you

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recently noticed that maybe like mel Robbins was on literally

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every podcast, well that's because she was because she was

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promoting a book, and so everybody was interviewing her about

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that book. And that's great for authors. It's not so

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great for podcast hosts because there's nothing unique or special

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or interesting or different about your show if you're just

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talking to the person who's literally saying the same thing

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on every other podcast. So I decided the beginning of

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the year, I don't want to do authors on book

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tours anymore. I want to go back to talking to

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the people who interest me. I want to find the

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people who who are of interested and have something of

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value to add to you, the listener, because that was

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always what it was supposed to be, and I still

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want to be able to contribute my own expertise. It's

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my show. So just a little something that happened to

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really bring that home for me was that I did

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find somebody who I was really interested to talk to.

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I found somebody who was really intelligent and wrote really well.

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I had some really great content and ideas, and she

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was based in London. The other thing that I decided

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was when I approach people to do interviews, ideally I

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would like to do the interviews in person. I want

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to get back in to studios and sit face to face.

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I'm sick of doing remote interviews. Understandably, sometimes you have

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to do remote interviews because people are in another country.

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Totally get it. But where possible, I want to target

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the people who I can actually meet with in a studio,

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and if that means when I go back to Australia,

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then I spend a couple of days in a studio

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in Australia to do those local Australian interviews face to face.

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Then that's what I'll do rather than doing them remotely.

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So I came across this woman. I contacted her and

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I said, I would really love to have you on

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my show. Turned out she was happy to be on

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my show. She's based in London, and she also happened

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to have a book coming out. That's interesting. I mean, okay,

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she's going to be more interested to talk to me

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because she's got a book coming out, But that wasn't

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the reason that I approached her invited her on the show.

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She said she was happy to be on the show.

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And then I said, I'm in London and I'm really

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looking to do face to face interviews. And she lives

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and works in London, and she said, oh, I'm actually

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going to be traveling for a couple of months. Is

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it okay if we do it remotely? And I said,

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oh yeah, I guess like I understand that. So point

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one point two, I've just broken two of my own

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rules straight off the bat. She's touring a book, and

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she's she can only do remote, so I'd agreed to

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do the interview. I said, I was going to do

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the interview. So we lined up the interview and we

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did it remotely and it all went okay, but you know,

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the sounds always off when it's remote, and then her

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camera crashed and there was problems, and I had two

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interviews in the same day, which I never do, so

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just wasn't the best experience for me. But anyway, we

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did the interview. Now what happened next was, remember I

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approached this one because I liked this woman. I liked

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her work. I was on her mailing list. So then

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I got an email from her, not personally, from her

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mailing list where she was saying how she had been

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promoting her book. And she said, I set myself a

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goal to do thirty podcast interviews in like thirty days

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or something, and she said, and I exceeded it and

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I did sixty podcast interviews six zero sixty podcast interviews.

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And then she talked about you know, different styles of

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interviewing and different podcast hosts and yadi YadA and things

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that happened in lessons that she had learned. And I thought, well,

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you want to talk about lessons you've learned. Let me

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just tell you about a lesson that I just learned.

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Because there is zero value to my audience and my

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listeners playing this interview and putting this episode out when

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you are on every other podcast right now at the

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same time, it one hundred percent highlighted for me the

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reason why my decision was a good decision. And I

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haven't published the interview, and I will. I'm sure eventually

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i'll publish the interview, but I just made the decision

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there and then that I was not going to be

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one of those sixty that puts an interview out and

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here's the same person talking about the same topic just

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over and over again. So that's that. So less interviews,

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face to face interviews, more cass is what I'm saying.

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And I think the other thing about that is that,

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as you know, I can do a solo episode, I

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can do this from my mum's wardrobe, Like I literally

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recorded an episode in my mom's wardrobe, published it from

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the Taipei airport on the airport Wi fi. So there's

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just a whole lot more work and time consuming work

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involved in editing, guest interviews, scheduling booking. Just it's a lot.

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It's a lot, and I still want to do them,

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but I want to do them with much more, much

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more discernment about who and why. Okay, so that's that.

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That's a lot of pre amble, but that's that. If

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you have feedback about that, if you want more interviews,

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less interviews, if you think that's a bad idea, good idea,

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you can tell me in my survey. I've rejigged to

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the survey as well and made it so that you

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can be anonymous if you would like. Means I can't

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send you a prize for submitting, but it does mean

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that if you want to really give me some hard feedback,

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you can absolutely do that. So the link to the

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survey is in the show notes, and I would obviously

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appreciate your input while I'm reviewing everything. Okay, let's get

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on with the show. So today, the question that I

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have for you is who are you when you are

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at your best? Now, maybe I've asked you this question before,

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maybe you haven't thought about it for a while, So

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I'm reminding you now who are you when you are

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at your best? And by that I mean what are

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the qualities? What are the best qualities in you that

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really shine when you are really vibing, right, when you

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are really being the best version of you. And I

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don't want generic answers here. I don't want to hear

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you know oh I'm so kind and patient and calm

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and organized. No, I want to know your personality, like

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your little quirks, like your special talents, you who you are.

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So you might be the person who like when you're

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really at your best, like your best qualities. Maybe you

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are the life of the party right, Like maybe you

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can just hold the floor and you can captivate people

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with your engaging stories. Maybe you are really the most

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patient listener. You're that friend that can really just be

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present and really be nonjudgmental and just really give people

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the time that they need. Maybe one of your qualities

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is that you've got a brilliant mind, a really analytical

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sharp mind, and you can just see solutions to problems,

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like when you're really operating at your best, like you

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just you're quick with coming up with solutions and analyzing information,

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and like that's just one of your superpowers. Maybe you

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are like when you're at your best, you're full of

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creative ideas and expressing your creative ideas. It's just like

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flowing what other things about you that make you you

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the best version of you? Right? And do think about

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your life and your relationships, and when you're at your best,

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maybe you are just patient with your kids, and maybe

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you do spend the time like engaging with them and

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interacting with them. And a good way to help you

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to get clear about this is to think about when

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you're not at your best. So the reason that this

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topic has come up for me and why I thought

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this was a useful thing to talk about, is because

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I told you last week that there'd been a whole

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lot of stress with my family. We flew back to Australia.

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No we didn't. We flew back to the UK from Australia.

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I was really jet lagged. I was really tired. I

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was still you know, there's a lot of stuff going on,

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and I was just cranky, Like I was cranky and irritable.

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And I noticed that I was kind of cynical, Like

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I was listening to an audio book which I probably

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at one time ordinarily would have found really interesting and inspiring,

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and it was actually interesting and inspiring, but I found

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myself like waiting for the grift, like starting to like

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question this guy's integrity, and I thought, who am I?

294
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Like I was just being really like cynical and a

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little judge and almost like just looking for the negative

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or trying to look to find some fault, to find

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something to criticize, which is not normally how I would be, Like,

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that's not who I am when I'm at my best.

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So if you know the kind of things that come

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out in you when you do get snappy or irritable

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or impatient or judgy or you know, critical or foggy,

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or you can't find the humor or the creativity drives up,

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or you know, like you feel like the tank is dry,

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like there's no you know, your brain's not firing. You're

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not handling relationships well, you're not handling stress well. Like,

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if you think about who when you're at your worst,

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like when you're not being your best self, that can

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really give you a clue, right to flip that Okay,

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so what does that say about who I am when

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I'm at my best? So I want you to really

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think about this personally, not just generically. How do I

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operate in the world, How do I operate in my relationships,

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How do I show up to work, to my business,

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for my friends, for myself? What are my qualities? What

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are my best qualities? What are my talents? What are

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my skills that I express easily when I am at

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my best? So I want you to spend some time

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considering that. If you can write it down, that's that's great.

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Now the next question is what are the conditions required

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for you to be at your best? What circumstance answers

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what conditions? What has to be happening in your life

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for you to be at your best? So this is

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things like I need to be getting eight hours of

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sleep a night. Like if I am not getting sleep,

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it's all downhill from there. Maybe it's I'm at my

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best when I am not drinking alcohol, or when I'm

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not drinking during the week or whatever that might be.

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Or I'm not eating sugar, I'm not having a lot

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of carbs. I don't know, Like that just makes me

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like feel foggy and heavy. Maybe when I make time

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to meditate. Now, I don't want this to be a

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list of the perfect person who walks and meditates and

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gets out out of sleep a night, like I want

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you to really think again personally to you the conditions

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required for you to be at your best. Maybe it's

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like when I have a day where I don't have

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the kids, but I also don't have work, when I

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just have a day to myself that I can just

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organize my life, take a rest, have some downtime. Maybe

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it's when I have a half a day on the

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weekend that I don't have to be present for anybody,

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that I don't have to look out for anybody else.

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That half a day just for me to reach out

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like that really nurturees me, like replenishes me, and that

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allows me to be at my best. Maybe if it's

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in your business, I need a day without meetings, or

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I need no meetings before ten o'clock. If I don't

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have meetings before ten o'clock, if I've got that morning

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time to just like get in, assess the day, organize priorities,

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good as gold. Then I'm just feeling like I'm on track,

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I'm present, I'm connected, I'm firing. I don't feel stressed,

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I don't feel overwhelmed. You know, everything's better when I

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give myself that. So that's your next question in your life,

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in your circumstances with your family situation, your work situation,

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living arrangements, whatever it is. What are the conditions that,

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00:20:00.960 --> 00:20:06.359
when met, really allow for you to show up as

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your best self. So when you've got that, my next

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question is, how do you make sure that you set

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that up? What's happening now? That's not that? I mean

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if your answer to that is, oh, yeah, I need

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to have like a day a week, and I need

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to know meetings before ten, and I need to get

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eight hours sleep at night, and I need to not

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drink alcohol or too much caffeine. Yeah, and that's all happening.

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Like I've got that, that's in place, and I am

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firing at the moment, Like I'm really in my zone

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right now, feeling great. I'm feeling clear, I'm feeling connected,

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I'm feeling really balanced, I'm feeling calm centered. Like that

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is amazing. If that's you. If it's not, then what

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might you need to change? What steps might you need

371
00:20:52.200 --> 00:20:58.799
to take, shifts tweaks to your routine, look at your diary.

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What do you need to move or shift or change

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or what needs to happen differently so that you can

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give yourself the best chance of being at your best

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More of the time. So I love this exercise. I

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sometimes do this exercise with clients. I sometimes do this

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I've done this exercise at all of my retreats when

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I used to run retreats. It's a great exercise to

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actually just pause, take a step back, and really consider

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the specifics of like what needs to happen. How do

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00:21:31.680 --> 00:21:34.400
I set up my life and my environment and my

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00:21:34.519 --> 00:21:39.599
schedule and my routines to really give myself the best chance.

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00:21:40.559 --> 00:21:43.599
I've always or not always, because you know, we're not

384
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perfect people, but as much as possible, to really give

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00:21:47.880 --> 00:21:50.000
myself the best chance of being able to show up

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00:21:50.039 --> 00:21:52.119
not just for myself but all the people around me.

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So I can really show up as the best version

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00:21:54.319 --> 00:21:56.799
of me, because everything's better when I do. I feel

389
00:21:56.799 --> 00:22:00.759
good about myself. Things go more smoothly. I feel just

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00:22:01.039 --> 00:22:04.240
more happy and healthy and balanced and like I'm living

391
00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:09.279
and expressing me that the essence of me, and other

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00:22:09.279 --> 00:22:15.599
people are seeing that. You know, they're not getting the short, tempered, overwhelmed, snarky, judge,

393
00:22:15.640 --> 00:22:20.279
impatient version of me, you know, because nobody wants that

394
00:22:20.359 --> 00:22:22.759
doesn't feel good and doesn't feel good for anybody around you.

395
00:22:22.799 --> 00:22:24.359
But when you can get really clear about Okay, well,

396
00:22:24.359 --> 00:22:27.000
what would that take what needs to change. The other

397
00:22:27.039 --> 00:22:29.400
thing that it does once you've done this exercise is

398
00:22:29.400 --> 00:22:32.079
that when you attempted to put in that extra meeting,

399
00:22:32.920 --> 00:22:35.160
when somebody else can they see you at nine o'clock

400
00:22:35.400 --> 00:22:38.200
or eight thirty in the morning, and you've already determined

401
00:22:38.200 --> 00:22:40.519
that actually, those days when you don't start to all ten, like,

402
00:22:40.519 --> 00:22:44.279
that's when you know you're at your best. Then when

403
00:22:44.480 --> 00:22:48.319
you have fridays free, you don't do any client face

404
00:22:48.359 --> 00:22:50.279
to face work on a Friday, and you start putting

405
00:22:50.359 --> 00:22:52.759
clients in on Friday, and you notice that starts cutting

406
00:22:52.759 --> 00:22:56.480
into your time, and you know, in a way, you know,

407
00:22:56.680 --> 00:23:01.000
maybe sometimes it's fine, maybe sometimes it's totally fine. Start

408
00:23:01.039 --> 00:23:02.680
doing it all the time, and you notice that you're

409
00:23:02.720 --> 00:23:05.160
encroaching on your own kind of boundaries, like letting others

410
00:23:05.519 --> 00:23:09.519
encroach on those boundaries, and maybe you'll think twice before

411
00:23:09.519 --> 00:23:13.160
you do that. When you start to really appreciate the

412
00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:16.519
consequences of that, like when you start to really understand that, oh,

413
00:23:16.559 --> 00:23:18.119
the more I do this, the more that I make

414
00:23:18.160 --> 00:23:22.599
these allowances, make these concessions, the more that I tell

415
00:23:22.640 --> 00:23:24.400
myself that, oh yeah, it will be so much better

416
00:23:24.400 --> 00:23:26.960
if I just stay up until midnight doing this thing,

417
00:23:27.079 --> 00:23:29.319
because then I won't have to do it tomorrow when

418
00:23:29.359 --> 00:23:31.640
you actually realize actually that what that means is that

419
00:23:31.640 --> 00:23:33.720
tomorrow I'm going to wake up tired and on the

420
00:23:33.720 --> 00:23:36.079
back foot, which means I'm probably going to drink more coffee,

421
00:23:36.079 --> 00:23:37.839
which means I'm probably going to have more sugar to

422
00:23:38.480 --> 00:23:40.799
prop me up and to give me a little energy burst.

423
00:23:41.559 --> 00:23:43.400
Actually down the track, it's probably better if I just

424
00:23:43.440 --> 00:23:45.680
go to sleep and I don't push myself and work

425
00:23:45.720 --> 00:23:48.440
until midnight. You see what I'm saying. You make better

426
00:23:48.519 --> 00:23:54.720
choices when you're actually really clear about the consequences of that,

427
00:23:54.839 --> 00:23:58.599
and you've actually been really clear in defining what those

428
00:23:58.640 --> 00:24:04.839
conditions are and why that matters to you. So that's

429
00:24:04.839 --> 00:24:06.799
it for today. I just wanted to share with you

430
00:24:06.960 --> 00:24:09.960
something that you might find helpful because I know that

431
00:24:10.039 --> 00:24:14.279
everybody and I talk to clients all the time. You know,

432
00:24:14.359 --> 00:24:16.799
we all in the busyness of life and the just

433
00:24:16.839 --> 00:24:19.559
in the dealing with life and in our sense of

434
00:24:19.599 --> 00:24:24.799
obligation to other people, and we're on autopilot, and not

435
00:24:24.799 --> 00:24:27.240
even on autopilot, but were am. I just like, yeah,

436
00:24:27.240 --> 00:24:29.359
there's a little bit on autopilot, when we're kind of

437
00:24:29.400 --> 00:24:34.559
just making decisions and not really thinking through because it's

438
00:24:34.640 --> 00:24:37.079
in the moment. It feels like that's the most convenient

439
00:24:37.119 --> 00:24:40.960
thing to do, or it feels like that's the logical

440
00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:43.559
thing to do. Yeah, I'll take on that extra work

441
00:24:43.599 --> 00:24:46.680
because I need that extra cash. Of course I'll take

442
00:24:46.720 --> 00:24:48.400
the extra work. And I don't want to let that

443
00:24:48.440 --> 00:24:50.240
person down, So I'm going to keep on doing that

444
00:24:50.279 --> 00:24:53.079
extra work and get that extra cash. And that why

445
00:24:53.119 --> 00:24:55.200
I don't let that person down. But all the while,

446
00:24:55.599 --> 00:24:58.599
I'm exhausted, and I'm not actually being able to focus

447
00:24:58.599 --> 00:25:01.279
my energy on the things that matter to me and

448
00:25:01.440 --> 00:25:04.240
my own stuff and my family, and I'm not as

449
00:25:04.279 --> 00:25:08.240
present for my own kids or when I fit in

450
00:25:08.279 --> 00:25:10.160
those extra clients because they really want to see me

451
00:25:10.279 --> 00:25:12.319
right now, and I don't want to let anybody down,

452
00:25:13.240 --> 00:25:15.160
and I do it, but then I feel like I'm

453
00:25:15.200 --> 00:25:17.640
not doing maybe as good a job as I could be,

454
00:25:17.799 --> 00:25:21.640
or again, maybe I'm just depleted, exhausted. I'm not able

455
00:25:21.680 --> 00:25:25.799
to give the best version of me because I've completely

456
00:25:25.880 --> 00:25:28.720
drained myself. And it's not just the clients that stuffer.

457
00:25:28.759 --> 00:25:30.599
Then it's me, and then it's my mood, and then

458
00:25:30.640 --> 00:25:32.680
it's my energy, and then it's my personal life, and

459
00:25:32.720 --> 00:25:34.119
then it's the hobbies that I want to do and

460
00:25:34.200 --> 00:25:35.799
the activities that I want to engage in. I don't

461
00:25:35.839 --> 00:25:38.440
have the energy for those, and then I feel like depleted,

462
00:25:38.480 --> 00:25:42.440
and then I feel like uninspired and overwhelmed, and you

463
00:25:42.440 --> 00:25:46.079
know how it goes. So it makes you much more

464
00:25:46.079 --> 00:25:49.079
conscious and intentional, you know, when you make those decisions

465
00:25:49.079 --> 00:25:52.119
about what you say yes to and what you say

466
00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:53.920
no to, and it gives you a really clear reason

467
00:25:54.240 --> 00:25:55.799
for why you need to say no to something if

468
00:25:55.839 --> 00:25:59.079
it feels uncomfortable to say no or to set a boundary.

469
00:25:59.279 --> 00:26:02.200
You know, makes much more present for you. But why

470
00:26:02.240 --> 00:26:05.400
that's really important so that you are less inclined to

471
00:26:05.440 --> 00:26:09.319
just go with the easy, least friction option, which is

472
00:26:09.359 --> 00:26:12.039
just to say yes and to make these concessions. That's

473
00:26:12.079 --> 00:26:13.319
it for me. I would love for you to spend

474
00:26:13.359 --> 00:26:14.839
some time on that. I hope it's helpful for you.

475
00:26:14.920 --> 00:26:16.799
It's a really useful exercise. Like I said, I do

476
00:26:16.880 --> 00:26:19.240
have like a worksheet that I would get people to

477
00:26:19.319 --> 00:26:23.039
do as a takeaway on retreats and things. If I

478
00:26:23.079 --> 00:26:26.039
can post that up on my website somewhere where you

479
00:26:26.079 --> 00:26:28.200
can download it, then I will, and I'll just put

480
00:26:28.240 --> 00:26:31.319
the link in the show notes. But truthfully, you don't

481
00:26:31.359 --> 00:26:34.559
really need a worksheet. You know what the questions are.

482
00:26:34.960 --> 00:26:37.000
Who am I when I'm at my best? What are

483
00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:38.799
the conditions required for me to be at my best?

484
00:26:39.200 --> 00:26:42.519
What do I need to change to create those conditions

485
00:26:43.480 --> 00:26:45.759
to give myself the best chance of showing up more

486
00:26:45.839 --> 00:26:48.799
often as the best version of me? Mindful in May

487
00:26:48.920 --> 00:26:51.640
mindfulness plus meditate. I got to come up with a

488
00:26:51.799 --> 00:26:54.359
catchy name for it. Probably should do that quickly since

489
00:26:54.400 --> 00:26:56.960
it's already May. But if you want to opt into that,

490
00:26:57.640 --> 00:27:04.759
join my substack cast dot substack dot com or in

491
00:27:04.839 --> 00:27:07.799
the Apple app, just upgrade to paid. But you know

492
00:27:07.839 --> 00:27:09.480
that if you upgrade to paid in Apple that you

493
00:27:09.519 --> 00:27:12.279
don't get my emails, you don't get the invitations to

494
00:27:12.319 --> 00:27:14.759
the live events, you don't get the stuff that you

495
00:27:14.799 --> 00:27:17.759
get from being in the substack community. So if you're

496
00:27:17.759 --> 00:27:20.480
going to subscribe my preference, as you subscribe at substack,

497
00:27:21.279 --> 00:27:23.599
you can still listen to the paid pod on any

498
00:27:24.119 --> 00:27:26.480
podcast platform if you don't want any part of that,

499
00:27:26.519 --> 00:27:28.240
you just want to put your earbuds in and just

500
00:27:28.319 --> 00:27:30.720
listen to me talk and listen to those extra apps.

501
00:27:31.160 --> 00:27:33.599
Just upgrade in the Apple App. That's it, guys. I

502
00:27:33.599 --> 00:27:36.559
do have a great interview planned for next week, live

503
00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:40.759
in the studio in London, getting back to my own boundaries,

504
00:27:41.400 --> 00:27:44.480
and I can't wait to bring that to you. In

505
00:27:44.519 --> 00:27:47.559
the meantime, I can't wait to catch you next week

506
00:27:47.680 --> 00:27:51.400
for another fabulous episode. I'm crappy to Happy,