Sept. 15, 2019

Juggling family and career with Tiff Hall

Juggling family and career with Tiff Hall
The player is loading ...
Juggling family and career with Tiff Hall
Juggling family and career with Tiff Hall
Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon Castro podcast player icon PocketCasts podcast player icon Podchaser podcast player icon
Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon Castro podcast player icon PocketCasts podcast player icon Podchaser podcast player icon
Season 4 Women's Health And Wellbeing Relationships

Tiff Hall is back in our reunion episode after a year away from the mic. In that time she’s had a baby, broken her leg, become a pro trainer for Chris Hemsworth and managed to get her body back to where she wants it. Tiff and Cass Dunn reminisce, discuss the delicate balance of juggling multiple careers and family and laugh as they remember how far they’ve come in their own journey from Crappy to Happy.https://www.tiffinyhall.com.au/
Connect with Cass:www.crappytohappypod.comhello@crappytohappypod.com 
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypodwww.tiktok.com/crappytohappypod
Join the free 7-day Happiness Challenge:www.cassdunn.com/happiness

Connect with Cass:

www.cassdunn.com
www.instagram.com/cassdunn_xo

Contact Crappy to Happy:

Email: hello@crappytohappypod.com
www.crappytohappypod.com
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypod
www.tiktok.com/@crappytohappypod


Are you a coach, therapist, service provider or solopreneur struggling with self-doubt and imposter syndrome? I'd love to talk to you! (for market research purposes only!)

Book a call with me to share your experience.

Want more great content and less ads?

Upgrade to Paid in the Spotify or Apple podcasts App to get immediate access to "Beyond Happy", the subscriber only podcast featuring bonus content, meditations and more!

Transcript
WEBVTT

1
00:00:02.680 --> 00:00:10.800
A listener production. Hello, and welcome back to season four

2
00:00:10.839 --> 00:00:13.720
of Crappy to Happy. I'm your host, Cas Dunn, and

3
00:00:13.839 --> 00:00:16.480
here we are again for more insights from some of

4
00:00:16.519 --> 00:00:20.079
the most incredible people around. I am so happy to

5
00:00:20.120 --> 00:00:22.600
be back and chatting with you all. I actually get

6
00:00:22.600 --> 00:00:26.000
pretty excited every time I'm here in the studio talking

7
00:00:26.039 --> 00:00:29.199
to my guests, especially knowing the impact that it's having

8
00:00:29.199 --> 00:00:32.960
on you listening. So this is season four and what

9
00:00:33.039 --> 00:00:35.520
it's all about, as the name implies, is to look

10
00:00:35.560 --> 00:00:37.640
at all of the ways you might be feeling crappy

11
00:00:37.920 --> 00:00:41.200
and give you the tools, techniques and insights to help

12
00:00:41.240 --> 00:00:45.960
you overcome them. In each episode, I introduce you to interesting, inspiring,

13
00:00:46.119 --> 00:00:49.679
intelligent people who are experts in their fields, and my

14
00:00:49.799 --> 00:00:52.520
hope is that they will help you feel less crappy

15
00:00:52.600 --> 00:00:55.640
and more happy. Before we kick off, I do want

16
00:00:55.679 --> 00:00:58.000
to say thank you for all of your messages during

17
00:00:58.000 --> 00:01:00.840
the break. Please keep them coming in hearing from you,

18
00:01:01.159 --> 00:01:03.600
and you can send me an email directly at Hello

19
00:01:03.640 --> 00:01:06.640
atkasdone dot com. I do read them all and I

20
00:01:06.680 --> 00:01:11.560
love hearing your thoughts. So we have got a lot

21
00:01:11.599 --> 00:01:14.439
of great conversations for you in this season, and we're

22
00:01:14.439 --> 00:01:16.719
going a little deeper than we ever have before with

23
00:01:16.760 --> 00:01:19.319
some pretty eye opening topics. We're going to start with

24
00:01:19.359 --> 00:01:21.560
someone who I know is close to all of your

25
00:01:21.599 --> 00:01:25.040
hearts and is close to mine too. She started this

26
00:01:25.079 --> 00:01:27.719
whole crappy to happy journey with me. She was my

27
00:01:27.799 --> 00:01:30.040
co host for the first two seasons until she had

28
00:01:30.040 --> 00:01:32.680
to leave due to other commitments. But we managed to

29
00:01:32.719 --> 00:01:35.079
find time and I got her back for an episode

30
00:01:35.239 --> 00:01:38.879
to talk about work life balance, juggling career and family,

31
00:01:38.959 --> 00:01:42.519
and whether or not you really can have it all here.

32
00:01:42.599 --> 00:01:48.239
She is one of my absolute heroes. Tiffany Hall, it's

33
00:01:48.280 --> 00:01:50.599
so good to have you back, Cas. Thank you for

34
00:01:50.680 --> 00:01:53.879
having me. Oh, I feel at home in this little

35
00:01:53.920 --> 00:01:58.280
studio with you. It's like the reunion, and I'm exactly

36
00:01:58.319 --> 00:02:01.599
the same today. I was going, Oh, it's just mentificant

37
00:02:01.599 --> 00:02:02.959
today in old days.

38
00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:05.879
I know, it feels really beautiful to be here and

39
00:02:05.920 --> 00:02:09.240
with our producer Dave, and you know, it's just so fun.

40
00:02:09.080 --> 00:02:13.280
In our spots. Okay, So, tiff it has been over

41
00:02:13.319 --> 00:02:16.479
twelve months since you and I sat down together. Yeah.

42
00:02:16.520 --> 00:02:19.000
In fact, you had a moon boot and Arnie was

43
00:02:19.319 --> 00:02:22.719
tiny last time we sat in this studio. Yeah, so

44
00:02:24.319 --> 00:02:28.159
can you just fill us in on where you're at

45
00:02:28.199 --> 00:02:29.560
in your life right now.

46
00:02:29.639 --> 00:02:34.120
Since then, well, that baby has grown. He's twenty two months.

47
00:02:34.159 --> 00:02:38.400
He's walking and he's talking. He is a chatterbox. Talks, talks,

48
00:02:38.400 --> 00:02:42.680
talks all day, which is fantastic. I'm still at the

49
00:02:42.719 --> 00:02:47.000
helm of tiff XO and driving that and looking after

50
00:02:47.039 --> 00:02:50.439
the business. I'm also the director of training for the

51
00:02:50.520 --> 00:02:54.800
Center Fit app and I do workouts and on camera

52
00:02:54.879 --> 00:02:58.919
stuff there to ed. My husband and I are releasing

53
00:02:58.919 --> 00:03:01.919
a book in September, picture book called A First Time

54
00:03:02.520 --> 00:03:04.360
for Everything.

55
00:03:04.439 --> 00:03:05.879
Yes, so that was.

56
00:03:05.840 --> 00:03:08.400
A huge project and we're really excited about it. And

57
00:03:08.719 --> 00:03:11.520
I've done a ted x talk, I've traveled the world

58
00:03:11.719 --> 00:03:16.080
with Arnold and myself following Chris Hemsworth around.

59
00:03:16.599 --> 00:03:19.800
I've just gone from strength to strength.

60
00:03:19.520 --> 00:03:23.120
With TIFEXO and had a few fractures along the way.

61
00:03:23.199 --> 00:03:25.000
Like last time you said when I was in the

62
00:03:25.000 --> 00:03:28.599
moon boot, that's relaxing for you straight after you know,

63
00:03:28.719 --> 00:03:29.400
you have birth.

64
00:03:29.520 --> 00:03:31.439
You got those lucy goosey.

65
00:03:31.120 --> 00:03:35.719
Ligaments and yeah, and now I'm just, yeah, trying to

66
00:03:36.120 --> 00:03:39.680
achieve that thing we're all sort of in search for,

67
00:03:39.719 --> 00:03:44.159
which is the balance between work and life.

68
00:03:44.360 --> 00:03:50.000
That elusive Yeah, work life balance. Yeah, because we did

69
00:03:50.039 --> 00:03:53.280
say on the season three that the reason that you'd

70
00:03:53.280 --> 00:03:56.840
had to stop the podcast was because fortunately the Chris

71
00:03:56.879 --> 00:04:00.400
Hems work center I've had come it was huge. You

72
00:04:00.439 --> 00:04:04.759
were everywhere, was traveling so much. So this whole concept

73
00:04:04.800 --> 00:04:07.439
of busyness. It was literally our first episode that we

74
00:04:07.479 --> 00:04:09.759
ever did together. Yeah, like getting out of that busy

75
00:04:10.039 --> 00:04:14.599
I thought it was Yeah, I.

76
00:04:14.560 --> 00:04:16.600
Was pregnant and I hadn't even had a baby, and

77
00:04:16.639 --> 00:04:18.639
I was like, I can't Was I pregnant then or

78
00:04:18.680 --> 00:04:20.839
was that the same Yeah season when you were pregnant.

79
00:04:20.839 --> 00:04:23.240
I was pregnant, So I was, you know, eight months

80
00:04:23.240 --> 00:04:26.040
pregnant then, and I thought, can't get busier than this?

81
00:04:27.000 --> 00:04:30.399
And then had a baby and yeah, get busier.

82
00:04:30.519 --> 00:04:33.079
Yeah, you took a full time job with a business. Yeah,

83
00:04:33.079 --> 00:04:33.639
it was fun.

84
00:04:33.879 --> 00:04:39.079
Let's talk about that then, So how are you managing that?

85
00:04:39.079 --> 00:04:41.399
That's a lot. Okay, that is a lot that you

86
00:04:41.480 --> 00:04:42.519
have on your pes.

87
00:04:42.600 --> 00:04:46.839
So I'd have to say, between us and you, dear listener,

88
00:04:49.000 --> 00:04:51.920
there have been times where I haven't managed for sure.

89
00:04:52.199 --> 00:04:56.680
It was overwhelming. Self care went out the window. I

90
00:04:56.759 --> 00:05:01.399
allowed people's demands on me and my time take over

91
00:05:01.639 --> 00:05:06.160
what I needed personally. There were moments where I was

92
00:05:06.199 --> 00:05:10.839
just constantly sick and run down and I wasn't managing.

93
00:05:11.040 --> 00:05:16.160
I've made changes now, but yeah, it was a wake

94
00:05:16.240 --> 00:05:18.519
up call that I can't do what I used to

95
00:05:18.560 --> 00:05:21.279
do now that I'm a mom, and I don't want

96
00:05:21.319 --> 00:05:22.959
to do what I used to do now that I'm

97
00:05:23.000 --> 00:05:26.399
a mom because I'm busy, but also my priorities have changed.

98
00:05:26.480 --> 00:05:29.240
I was going to say, priorities do change, don't they Yeah,

99
00:05:29.240 --> 00:05:29.639
they do.

100
00:05:30.040 --> 00:05:33.839
And it's that thing of managing the busyness. It it's

101
00:05:33.879 --> 00:05:36.759
saying no. And I look at the saying no not

102
00:05:37.000 --> 00:05:38.920
as and I used to be very fearful, and we've

103
00:05:38.959 --> 00:05:42.720
discussed this on air and off air, very fearful of

104
00:05:42.759 --> 00:05:46.439
what the refusal would mean, and you know how people

105
00:05:46.480 --> 00:05:49.079
would take that. And I was always thinking the worst

106
00:05:49.160 --> 00:05:51.720
case scenario based on a set of beliefs that really

107
00:05:51.879 --> 00:05:54.480
wasn't true. And now I look at it as like

108
00:05:54.560 --> 00:05:58.279
saying no, he's saying yes to myself and also clarifying

109
00:05:58.319 --> 00:05:59.360
my priorities.

110
00:05:59.680 --> 00:06:00.439
I say know to.

111
00:06:00.439 --> 00:06:03.160
You because Arnold's more important, or I say no to

112
00:06:03.240 --> 00:06:05.839
you because you know what, I haven't seen my husband

113
00:06:05.920 --> 00:06:08.839
properly in two weeks. Ye, because we're both so busy

114
00:06:09.399 --> 00:06:11.839
and tonight we're just gonna chill and watch Netflix.

115
00:06:11.920 --> 00:06:15.519
And that's important. So I'm saying no, you know. Yeah,

116
00:06:15.680 --> 00:06:19.000
I mean that's all really important and really important lessons

117
00:06:19.000 --> 00:06:22.560
because to take that theory and actually apply it in

118
00:06:22.600 --> 00:06:25.000
your life, then you have to tolerate all that discomfort. Yes,

119
00:06:25.040 --> 00:06:28.319
all of that those feelings that come up with Yeah,

120
00:06:28.360 --> 00:06:30.759
but what will people think? Yeah? And I was going

121
00:06:30.839 --> 00:06:33.360
to ask you too, like you had to say no

122
00:06:33.439 --> 00:06:36.480
to the podcast because and understandably, like you weren't even

123
00:06:36.600 --> 00:06:39.680
half in the country lost the time. Yes, but were

124
00:06:39.720 --> 00:06:42.000
there other things that came along that you had to

125
00:06:42.040 --> 00:06:46.959
say no to? And what's that like? Because your career

126
00:06:47.000 --> 00:06:50.319
has skyrocketed, like right at the time, Yeah, when you

127
00:06:50.360 --> 00:06:52.720
had Arnold and your priorities have changed, So you're weird

128
00:06:52.800 --> 00:06:53.759
balance that tension.

129
00:06:54.759 --> 00:06:58.000
Yeah, absolutely, and so weird that the career took off

130
00:06:58.040 --> 00:07:00.360
when I had a baby and I had this huge

131
00:07:00.360 --> 00:07:03.920
responsibility to him and it was so hard. And I

132
00:07:03.959 --> 00:07:08.360
mean I remember, like I was traveling to New York

133
00:07:08.480 --> 00:07:12.879
with Arnold and he was so little, like seven eight months,

134
00:07:12.920 --> 00:07:16.879
and I had to go straight to set to coach

135
00:07:17.399 --> 00:07:22.519
a world class boxing Olympic trainer and I get on

136
00:07:22.639 --> 00:07:25.199
set and we're moving around and I felt like I

137
00:07:25.240 --> 00:07:28.480
was going to vomit because I was breastfeeding. My boobs

138
00:07:28.480 --> 00:07:31.399
were exploding. I was worried about the baby. We just

139
00:07:31.399 --> 00:07:33.759
stepped off a flight. I had my business in the

140
00:07:33.800 --> 00:07:35.639
back of my mind, and I thought, how am I

141
00:07:35.639 --> 00:07:36.639
going to survive this?

142
00:07:37.279 --> 00:07:39.319
And you know, women are just warriors. You just do.

143
00:07:39.480 --> 00:07:40.439
You just survive it.

144
00:07:40.839 --> 00:07:43.120
But I've had to say no to a lot of

145
00:07:43.160 --> 00:07:48.560
things in order to preserve my own wellbeing, I guess,

146
00:07:49.120 --> 00:07:52.360
and it's heart breaking. I'd saying no to the podcast,

147
00:07:52.399 --> 00:07:56.759
for example, heartbreaking, but it was that in order to

148
00:07:57.240 --> 00:08:00.560
go and build my profile globally, which was an opportunity

149
00:08:00.959 --> 00:08:04.800
I just couldn't say no to. I've said no to

150
00:08:05.519 --> 00:08:08.040
position on Dancing with the Stars this year, oh really.

151
00:08:08.560 --> 00:08:13.439
I've said no to other television gigs because they demand

152
00:08:13.480 --> 00:08:15.839
a lot of hours and I didn't want to be

153
00:08:15.920 --> 00:08:19.839
away from Arnold in that capacity. I'm very blessed that

154
00:08:19.879 --> 00:08:22.000
with my business I can work a lot from home

155
00:08:22.279 --> 00:08:24.959
or he can come to set. Not so much now

156
00:08:25.000 --> 00:08:29.839
because he talks and he'll beell like ah, but you know,

157
00:08:29.959 --> 00:08:34.080
I've had him with me all the time, So taking

158
00:08:34.080 --> 00:08:37.440
on roles television roles now where I'd have to be

159
00:08:37.480 --> 00:08:40.720
away from him for long periods of time just I

160
00:08:40.799 --> 00:08:44.399
just don't want to do that. And I've also had

161
00:08:44.440 --> 00:08:48.840
to say no to a lot of you know, demands

162
00:08:48.840 --> 00:08:50.919
on my time that just aren't important.

163
00:08:51.159 --> 00:08:55.039
Just you know, there's energy vampires.

164
00:08:54.440 --> 00:08:58.840
And time suckers and and you know, just saying, Okay,

165
00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:01.399
you want this from me, but what am I getting

166
00:09:01.519 --> 00:09:06.039
in return? And then sort of looking at the weighing

167
00:09:06.039 --> 00:09:08.720
it up now a bit more, whereas I was always

168
00:09:08.720 --> 00:09:10.840
saying yes, and I always want to help people. That's

169
00:09:10.840 --> 00:09:14.000
where I come from, and that's like really deep within

170
00:09:14.120 --> 00:09:16.960
me wanting to help people. Build my business on that.

171
00:09:17.440 --> 00:09:21.440
But yeah, you've still got to be sensible boundaries, yes,

172
00:09:21.480 --> 00:09:25.159
and create those boundaries, especially in this day and age

173
00:09:25.480 --> 00:09:28.919
with social media. And my business is an online business,

174
00:09:29.039 --> 00:09:33.000
and so my members are online, and they're online twenty

175
00:09:33.000 --> 00:09:35.960
four to seven, and there are different platforms. We've got Facebook,

176
00:09:35.960 --> 00:09:38.440
we've got Instagram, we've got a blog, we've got the

177
00:09:38.480 --> 00:09:43.279
TIFXO website. So servicing that is a full time job.

178
00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:46.000
And yet like monitoring our members is a full time job.

179
00:09:46.039 --> 00:09:48.639
But I've got to create boundaries because I cannot be

180
00:09:48.759 --> 00:09:52.039
in my community at eleven o'clock at night answering questions.

181
00:09:52.120 --> 00:09:54.679
So you know, I've been better at dealing with that

182
00:09:54.799 --> 00:09:57.799
as well. Yeah, I think that's you just have to be,

183
00:09:57.879 --> 00:10:00.240
don't you. I mean, I'm in a similar position, not

184
00:10:00.279 --> 00:10:01.399
to the same extent, obviously.

185
00:10:01.399 --> 00:10:03.399
I'm also in the tipic So community, yes, of course.

186
00:10:03.639 --> 00:10:06.039
And you get tagged and you get questions, then people

187
00:10:06.080 --> 00:10:09.559
message yeah, and it's twenty four to seven, and you

188
00:10:09.720 --> 00:10:11.799
just have to draw the line and you unplugged.

189
00:10:11.840 --> 00:10:17.159
And I deleted my private message Facebook thing on my phone,

190
00:10:17.279 --> 00:10:20.000
so I'm sure people are sending me messages on Facebook.

191
00:10:20.320 --> 00:10:21.919
I just deleted it.

192
00:10:22.039 --> 00:10:25.200
And we have an automatic thing coming going out now

193
00:10:25.240 --> 00:10:28.799
saying email, you know, hello at tifso dot com if

194
00:10:28.840 --> 00:10:31.000
you have a question, and then I'll get back to

195
00:10:31.080 --> 00:10:31.679
you that way.

196
00:10:32.279 --> 00:10:32.840
But I just.

197
00:10:32.840 --> 00:10:37.000
Couldn't deal with it. I did the same, Yeah, exactly.

198
00:10:37.399 --> 00:10:39.720
It's so good. And I go through phases where I

199
00:10:39.759 --> 00:10:42.799
delete Instagram as well, and I have a little break

200
00:10:42.840 --> 00:10:45.320
from it and I'll log onto the computer and you know,

201
00:10:45.399 --> 00:10:48.159
upload my daily posts or I'll check in on it.

202
00:10:48.279 --> 00:10:51.600
But you know, if you don't see me doing stories

203
00:10:51.600 --> 00:10:54.720
for a couple of days, I've deleted the app, but

204
00:10:55.000 --> 00:10:57.120
you know, it's fine, and and I do have a

205
00:10:57.159 --> 00:11:01.200
good healthy I think perspective on that. It's just an app,

206
00:11:01.639 --> 00:11:05.399
like it's not it's not live and die by these

207
00:11:05.600 --> 00:11:08.600
likes and the performance of my last post or you know,

208
00:11:08.679 --> 00:11:12.279
building that profile. And I never got into to be

209
00:11:12.480 --> 00:11:13.600
insta famous anyway.

210
00:11:13.759 --> 00:11:16.720
Like I remember when we first met, you had never

211
00:11:16.759 --> 00:11:19.360
even had a social media account. You have no we

212
00:11:19.480 --> 00:11:21.960
create one? Yeah, tip XO. Yeah two thousand.

213
00:11:21.960 --> 00:11:24.440
I was so late to the party, like twenty sixteen.

214
00:11:25.279 --> 00:11:31.120
Oh my goodness, imagine that people being a personal trainer

215
00:11:31.159 --> 00:11:32.759
without an Instagram account.

216
00:11:33.679 --> 00:11:36.399
That was me. And I've been on TV and everything.

217
00:11:37.039 --> 00:11:39.879
I know, and You're like, what but I don't want

218
00:11:39.840 --> 00:11:42.360
to if you have to here, but why what am

219
00:11:42.399 --> 00:11:44.799
I going to do? I'm not that interesting. I'm just

220
00:11:44.840 --> 00:11:45.639
that home all.

221
00:11:45.600 --> 00:11:49.440
Day, like you know, like I just couldn't fathom it.

222
00:11:49.519 --> 00:11:51.679
But then people like you can put exercise on this

223
00:11:51.799 --> 00:11:55.440
Instagram and I'm like, oh, well I can record a workout, Okay,

224
00:11:55.600 --> 00:11:57.759
I can do it like that. But yeah, I've said

225
00:11:57.759 --> 00:11:58.919
no to a lot of things. I said no to

226
00:11:59.000 --> 00:12:00.960
Ninja Warrior like three times.

227
00:12:00.559 --> 00:12:03.840
Did you Yeah, because oh that's so interesting because you

228
00:12:03.879 --> 00:12:07.919
get asked that all the time. I haven't got car,

229
00:12:08.600 --> 00:12:10.519
You've got to do a ninje worry. I'm not. I'm

230
00:12:10.519 --> 00:12:12.279
not a competitor anymore. I'm a coach.

231
00:12:12.320 --> 00:12:15.639
And to put that energy into training for something like that.

232
00:12:15.840 --> 00:12:18.559
I mean I train because I feel good and I

233
00:12:18.639 --> 00:12:21.600
trained to be fit to do my videos for TIFEXO.

234
00:12:21.879 --> 00:12:24.279
I mean that's and I have fun doing that and it,

235
00:12:24.679 --> 00:12:27.120
but I don't want to train for competition anymore.

236
00:12:27.320 --> 00:12:30.559
Yeah. So speaking about all of those demands on your

237
00:12:30.600 --> 00:12:32.519
time and the social media, I mean that's doubled with

238
00:12:32.600 --> 00:12:34.440
the Center Fit, right, Yeah, doubled.

239
00:12:34.480 --> 00:12:39.000
Everything's tripled and doubled and yeah, in intensity. So it's

240
00:12:39.080 --> 00:12:43.440
great it and it's great talking to people who are

241
00:12:43.440 --> 00:12:46.440
in the UK and the US who are loving my workouts.

242
00:12:46.480 --> 00:12:49.000
And you know, I don't know how long I'll be

243
00:12:49.080 --> 00:12:49.679
with Center.

244
00:12:49.840 --> 00:12:53.279
It's working for the moment, but you know, it is

245
00:12:53.320 --> 00:12:57.159
a huge added commitment.

246
00:12:57.720 --> 00:12:59.080
But yeah, it's it's.

247
00:12:58.960 --> 00:13:02.000
Working really well to promote to fecso overseas as.

248
00:13:01.919 --> 00:13:04.200
Well and cross promote there. Yeah. So going back to

249
00:13:04.240 --> 00:13:07.000
you getting sick, because I remember there was a period

250
00:13:07.000 --> 00:13:10.480
there where you seem to be sick every other week,

251
00:13:10.799 --> 00:13:12.679
and I wanted to talk about that because they will

252
00:13:12.720 --> 00:13:16.639
be busy working mums, listening, gathering, you know, juggling the

253
00:13:16.879 --> 00:13:20.600
work and the baby and the struggling to say no

254
00:13:20.919 --> 00:13:24.000
and all all of those things. And it would seem

255
00:13:24.039 --> 00:13:26.320
that you, of all people who you know, you fit,

256
00:13:26.360 --> 00:13:29.360
your outdoors all the time, you have never drunk alcohol,

257
00:13:29.559 --> 00:13:32.480
You you know, have lived the healthiest lifestyle of anybody

258
00:13:32.519 --> 00:13:35.399
that I know. And that's but you were still getting

259
00:13:35.639 --> 00:13:38.440
really sick from the stress.

260
00:13:38.519 --> 00:13:41.840
I think it was emotional, yeah, stress, And you know,

261
00:13:42.039 --> 00:13:45.960
you look at exercise and I wholeheartedly believe that exercise

262
00:13:46.080 --> 00:13:49.320
is so good for you mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically, but

263
00:13:50.080 --> 00:13:51.919
it is a stress on your body too if you

264
00:13:52.080 --> 00:13:56.159
are already depleted in any way. And so when your

265
00:13:56.240 --> 00:13:59.879
job's exercise and then you're also running a lot of things,

266
00:14:00.720 --> 00:14:03.679
and then you don't have recovery as a mum. You

267
00:14:03.720 --> 00:14:05.399
don't get to go home and sit on the couch

268
00:14:05.440 --> 00:14:09.120
and watch TV and chill and unwind. I get home

269
00:14:09.120 --> 00:14:12.159
from work and it's full on, like Arnold's nearly too.

270
00:14:12.240 --> 00:14:14.440
He just runs from one end of the house to

271
00:14:14.480 --> 00:14:17.919
the other, and he can be quite demanding and so

272
00:14:18.480 --> 00:14:21.320
you know, as any toddler, it's all about them, right,

273
00:14:21.799 --> 00:14:26.759
So I think I was getting everything from your common

274
00:14:26.799 --> 00:14:33.039
colds to constant sinusidists to shingles, just all these things

275
00:14:33.159 --> 00:14:36.120
infections that are a symbol that you run down. And

276
00:14:36.159 --> 00:14:39.440
my white blood cell count was always high, meaning I

277
00:14:39.480 --> 00:14:42.720
was always fighting infection. So that's when I thought, oh,

278
00:14:42.879 --> 00:14:46.639
things have to change. And I did change things in

279
00:14:46.759 --> 00:14:51.679
terms of asking for more help and I think allowing

280
00:14:51.679 --> 00:14:53.440
myself to do simple things.

281
00:14:53.159 --> 00:14:55.480
Like cry, cry more.

282
00:14:55.559 --> 00:14:58.200
And I think it was Dan Harris who said, you know,

283
00:14:58.360 --> 00:15:02.759
crying is an evolution and it has an evolutionary purpose

284
00:15:02.840 --> 00:15:05.759
in that it's a symbol.

285
00:15:05.360 --> 00:15:06.720
Of surrender to a threat.

286
00:15:07.399 --> 00:15:10.279
And along with like that's how we find out offspring,

287
00:15:10.320 --> 00:15:13.000
we hear them crying, and it's also how we as

288
00:15:13.000 --> 00:15:16.120
a tribe can have empathy. But he said, you know,

289
00:15:16.200 --> 00:15:19.320
it's surrendering. And I cry all the time. I just

290
00:15:19.399 --> 00:15:21.759
well up and cry. Sometimes it's joy everything, but it

291
00:15:21.960 --> 00:15:25.440
just it's a coping mechanism of like just dealing with

292
00:15:25.519 --> 00:15:29.559
things like it was, so you know intense at times.

293
00:15:29.240 --> 00:15:30.679
Letting yourself feel what you feel.

294
00:15:30.799 --> 00:15:33.799
Yes, And I think that's something that I can, you know,

295
00:15:33.840 --> 00:15:35.600
I think is very important for people to do that,

296
00:15:35.720 --> 00:15:38.600
along with self love and acceptance that we talk a

297
00:15:38.600 --> 00:15:41.840
lot about. I think you need to feel the feelings deeply,

298
00:15:41.919 --> 00:15:45.080
and sometimes I shut them off and just keep going

299
00:15:45.120 --> 00:15:47.440
and going, and you know, Okay, we're on to dinner,

300
00:15:47.480 --> 00:15:49.679
then we're bath, then we're bed, then I'm on the computer.

301
00:15:49.759 --> 00:15:53.399
And you know, children have routine and you go into

302
00:15:53.399 --> 00:15:56.120
that routine and you can just the days just pass

303
00:15:56.399 --> 00:15:59.559
and you're not feeling much. So I think it's important

304
00:15:59.559 --> 00:16:01.080
to sort of stop and feel.

305
00:16:01.399 --> 00:16:09.200
Yeah, well busy. Staying busy is its own form of avoidance. Yeah,

306
00:16:09.440 --> 00:16:13.200
just stay stay busy and don't let anything catch up

307
00:16:13.200 --> 00:16:15.639
because too much to do, don't have timet have time

308
00:16:15.759 --> 00:16:18.240
to feel it, to assess it.

309
00:16:18.279 --> 00:16:20.799
And I think it's important, you know, I would say

310
00:16:20.879 --> 00:16:26.840
to many mums out there dealing with it, cry and

311
00:16:27.919 --> 00:16:32.200
embrace yourself in terms of self love, holy like your

312
00:16:32.399 --> 00:16:35.720
failures and your flaws, and you don't have to be perfect,

313
00:16:35.840 --> 00:16:39.440
like just wholly accept it, because you know, in being

314
00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:43.200
this busy and juggling and taking so much on in

315
00:16:43.240 --> 00:16:46.000
the past two years and I've never been busier than

316
00:16:46.080 --> 00:16:50.960
since I've become a mum, I've also learned my limitations

317
00:16:51.279 --> 00:16:56.720
in business and in relationships, in how I deal with people,

318
00:16:56.799 --> 00:17:02.639
in how I have difficult conversations with people, and it's great,

319
00:17:02.679 --> 00:17:05.400
it's very enlightening. It's like, Okay, yeah, I'm not the best,

320
00:17:05.400 --> 00:17:08.000
but I'm gonna work on that. For example, I've talked

321
00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:09.799
to you for years how hard it is to say no.

322
00:17:10.039 --> 00:17:10.279
Yes.

323
00:17:10.960 --> 00:17:13.359
I went to a great website we've talked to talked

324
00:17:13.400 --> 00:17:18.119
about before, and I did an online assertive course of

325
00:17:18.200 --> 00:17:22.599
course in assertiveness. Who knew it existed, right, But there.

326
00:17:22.519 --> 00:17:25.319
Were many modules and it took me weeks, but I

327
00:17:25.359 --> 00:17:25.799
sat down.

328
00:17:25.880 --> 00:17:28.759
It was great to talk about the different types of

329
00:17:28.759 --> 00:17:31.920
assertiveness and beliefs and blah blah blah. And I don't

330
00:17:31.960 --> 00:17:34.240
know if I'm many better at saying no, but I

331
00:17:34.359 --> 00:17:37.839
definitely felt good about it, like there's my limitation, Okay,

332
00:17:37.839 --> 00:17:39.000
what can I do about that?

333
00:17:39.759 --> 00:17:43.599
And there we go, and that's great. That's empowering yourself. Yeah,

334
00:17:43.640 --> 00:17:46.920
And the Center for Clinical Interventions website, anybody can look

335
00:17:46.960 --> 00:17:50.319
that up, and I used to when I was practicing therapy.

336
00:17:50.440 --> 00:17:52.279
Like I don't see clients when on one anymore, but

337
00:17:52.319 --> 00:17:54.680
when I was, there's heaps of resources on there that

338
00:17:54.680 --> 00:17:56.640
I would just print off and give to people. Yeah,

339
00:17:56.640 --> 00:17:58.519
there's a whole therapist section where you can print off,

340
00:17:58.519 --> 00:18:00.960
but there's also the self help Yeah, jewels and courses.

341
00:18:01.079 --> 00:18:04.759
Great website, it's fantastic, So you know, finding those limitations

342
00:18:04.799 --> 00:18:07.440
working on it, and also you know, with the juggle

343
00:18:07.480 --> 00:18:09.759
and the struggle to juggle, I think reaching out for

344
00:18:09.839 --> 00:18:13.200
help this whole thing that I hate it. People people

345
00:18:13.240 --> 00:18:15.440
do refer to me as a super mum, and I'm like,

346
00:18:15.599 --> 00:18:18.400
oh god, I'm not super. I'm not super at all.

347
00:18:19.160 --> 00:18:21.599
I'm just very good at outsourcing and I'm very good

348
00:18:21.640 --> 00:18:25.480
at like asking for help, and I think that's very important.

349
00:18:25.559 --> 00:18:28.079
I'm glad that you mentioned that because I was going

350
00:18:28.119 --> 00:18:33.279
to ask you obviously there's you have been and having

351
00:18:33.279 --> 00:18:35.839
your own business makes it easier to be able to

352
00:18:35.960 --> 00:18:38.279
take Arnold with you and work around him as much

353
00:18:38.319 --> 00:18:42.680
as possible. It's very hands on. He works like morning still,

354
00:18:43.359 --> 00:18:44.839
he's very good with the hours.

355
00:18:44.880 --> 00:18:46.920
We're very lucky that he shift works, you know.

356
00:18:47.119 --> 00:18:49.559
Yeah, yeah, so then what are the kind of help

357
00:18:49.759 --> 00:18:50.680
well we do have.

358
00:18:51.000 --> 00:18:55.079
We have a babysitter, of course, we have some childcare mum.

359
00:18:56.079 --> 00:19:00.319
We actually moved house to be one street away from

360
00:19:00.839 --> 00:19:04.640
Arnold's grandparents, so that helps. And a couple of doors,

361
00:19:04.720 --> 00:19:06.960
like a couple of streets away from his auntie and

362
00:19:07.039 --> 00:19:10.759
his cousin. So there is a lot of family support

363
00:19:10.839 --> 00:19:14.640
from my family and from Ed's family.

364
00:19:15.160 --> 00:19:16.640
And yeah, we have a babysitter.

365
00:19:16.759 --> 00:19:20.480
But also I have been better at asking for help

366
00:19:20.519 --> 00:19:24.920
within the structure of my business. So you know, I'm Tiffany,

367
00:19:24.960 --> 00:19:28.160
but behind Tiffany there's a team, and there's a publicist,

368
00:19:28.319 --> 00:19:33.079
a communications manager, a personal assistant, you know, everything from

369
00:19:33.720 --> 00:19:38.839
people who moderate the Facebook community, you know, they're asking

370
00:19:38.920 --> 00:19:42.039
for help and thinking to myself, Okay, the hard thing

371
00:19:42.039 --> 00:19:45.640
with TIFXO is that the business is me. I am

372
00:19:45.720 --> 00:19:48.839
the personal brand and the actual business brand, so it

373
00:19:48.920 --> 00:19:51.240
all comes back to me. But I thought, what can

374
00:19:51.279 --> 00:19:54.039
I do to outsource and have some help here because

375
00:19:54.079 --> 00:19:57.119
I can't do all my own publicity schedules.

376
00:19:57.160 --> 00:19:58.119
And you know, so.

377
00:19:58.519 --> 00:20:01.960
There are there's a big team within Tiffecso that helped

378
00:20:02.000 --> 00:20:05.279
me and and I've just said I need more help, guys,

379
00:20:05.359 --> 00:20:09.720
I need more And that's when with yeah, I can't

380
00:20:09.720 --> 00:20:12.000
deal with that. You find a person that can help

381
00:20:12.039 --> 00:20:14.319
me with that, and then my focus can be more

382
00:20:14.359 --> 00:20:17.720
on Arnold. I have someone who looks after him. Every Mondays,

383
00:20:17.759 --> 00:20:20.440
that's like my meeting day. What do I need to do?

384
00:20:20.519 --> 00:20:22.799
It's a you know, it's all booked in on a Monday.

385
00:20:23.079 --> 00:20:25.559
Everyone knows Mondays are good for tea, that kind of thing.

386
00:20:26.160 --> 00:20:29.440
So it all works together and it is a team

387
00:20:29.480 --> 00:20:32.279
effort and it takes a village. But the problem is

388
00:20:32.400 --> 00:20:34.599
these days a lot of people don't have that village.

389
00:20:34.759 --> 00:20:37.680
And so that's why with TIFASO, what I try and

390
00:20:37.759 --> 00:20:41.240
do is offer mums that village and say, you get

391
00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:44.680
cast done, clinical psychologists, you get myself a trainer, and

392
00:20:44.720 --> 00:20:47.640
you get this community, and here's your village. Let's let's

393
00:20:47.759 --> 00:20:50.079
let's try and help each other to feel good.

394
00:20:50.240 --> 00:20:54.200
It's one of the most positive, supportive online communities I've

395
00:20:54.200 --> 00:20:57.880
ever been involved in, That is for sure. It is amazing. Yeah. Yeah,

396
00:20:57.960 --> 00:20:59.640
I just wanted to pick up on that asking for

397
00:20:59.680 --> 00:21:02.039
help and business because I think that they're I mean,

398
00:21:02.079 --> 00:21:04.319
I'm in my own business as well, but clearly not

399
00:21:04.680 --> 00:21:07.319
to the scale or size of tiff x so. And

400
00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:10.440
I know a lot of other women who are doing

401
00:21:10.440 --> 00:21:13.079
their own thing, running their little solo business. They're working

402
00:21:13.119 --> 00:21:17.599
from home oftentimes for this reason. They want the flexibility

403
00:21:17.640 --> 00:21:19.400
they want to have more time with their kids, they

404
00:21:19.440 --> 00:21:21.880
want to have the freedom to work their own hours.

405
00:21:21.920 --> 00:21:24.640
And I just want to say too that one of

406
00:21:24.680 --> 00:21:28.000
the decisions that I have made just this year is

407
00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:32.440
to hire help and it has made such an enormous

408
00:21:32.480 --> 00:21:36.039
difference to my life and my earning capacity. And I

409
00:21:36.079 --> 00:21:38.079
want to say that for anybody who's listening, who is

410
00:21:38.119 --> 00:21:39.599
also out there struggling on their.

411
00:21:39.480 --> 00:21:41.880
Own point, they might think that sounds expensive.

412
00:21:41.880 --> 00:21:44.359
I think they think, oh, but tips, you know, she's

413
00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:46.720
got that can afford it. Million dollar business and all

414
00:21:46.759 --> 00:21:49.279
these thousands of people, and she can do that. No,

415
00:21:49.599 --> 00:21:54.240
I wasn't making many, you know, big bucks. But I

416
00:21:54.319 --> 00:21:56.920
first started off with just a va who in the

417
00:21:56.960 --> 00:21:59.480
Philippines who could just do some basic admin online for me.

418
00:21:59.799 --> 00:22:03.039
And I've got another business manager here in Australia now

419
00:22:03.160 --> 00:22:05.160
who is setting up all the systems in my business.

420
00:22:05.200 --> 00:22:06.680
She takes stuff off my hands that she's saying, you

421
00:22:06.720 --> 00:22:08.839
need to give me more things to do, because let's

422
00:22:08.960 --> 00:22:10.960
get your hands off it, cas, get your hands off it.

423
00:22:11.359 --> 00:22:15.279
And it's just it takes it takes time to get

424
00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:17.319
your head around it and to let go of the control.

425
00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:21.039
But then it is so liberating and it frees you

426
00:22:21.160 --> 00:22:24.359
up to be creative and to work, to work in

427
00:22:24.400 --> 00:22:25.400
your zone of genius.

428
00:22:25.480 --> 00:22:29.119
Yeah, and my zone is creating fitness programs and for

429
00:22:29.160 --> 00:22:32.839
the Center up, I create programs across all disciplines from

430
00:22:32.880 --> 00:22:38.039
boxing to pilates to strength you know, bulk building, strength

431
00:22:38.079 --> 00:22:41.920
and conditioning. Like you know, I love programming exercise. I

432
00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:47.240
love creating these programs. And so that's programming and presenting fitness.

433
00:22:47.279 --> 00:22:50.240
That's me and looking after my members. I don't know

434
00:22:50.279 --> 00:22:52.720
anything about business business.

435
00:22:52.559 --> 00:22:54.880
Like all the others, all the other stuff.

436
00:22:54.759 --> 00:23:01.359
Digital marketing, finances. I'm like, oh okay, like help, help please.

437
00:23:01.279 --> 00:23:04.039
That's what's happening for me too. And my person has said,

438
00:23:04.039 --> 00:23:05.599
we're getting to the state. We need to get you

439
00:23:05.640 --> 00:23:07.400
to the stage where the only things you do are

440
00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:10.599
the things that only you can do, and that way

441
00:23:10.759 --> 00:23:14.559
you are doing the important stuff and will take care

442
00:23:14.599 --> 00:23:16.799
of the rest. So there's this whole team now and

443
00:23:16.839 --> 00:23:19.400
it really it's just changed everything for me. So if

444
00:23:19.400 --> 00:23:22.839
anybody's out there listening, don't hold like high higher.

445
00:23:23.359 --> 00:23:26.759
And also yeah, and you need to spend money and

446
00:23:26.759 --> 00:23:28.519
make money, yes, And people have said that to me

447
00:23:28.559 --> 00:23:31.000
for ages, and I just didn't believe it. I'm like,

448
00:23:31.119 --> 00:23:34.200
no way, I am Tiffin tif Ex. I can do

449
00:23:34.279 --> 00:23:37.319
it all. But then I'm doing it all and the

450
00:23:37.400 --> 00:23:41.359
creativity and the product isn't as good. And I was like, oh,

451
00:23:41.839 --> 00:23:43.920
or I'm doing a workout and I'd watched the video

452
00:23:43.920 --> 00:23:46.359
and I'm sure no one else could see it, but

453
00:23:46.519 --> 00:23:49.839
I looked exhausted and then like like doing a push

454
00:23:49.920 --> 00:23:51.599
up and I was going collapse, and I thought, oh,

455
00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:54.000
this is no good. I've got a factor in that

456
00:23:54.079 --> 00:23:57.559
I'm creating the product. I'm also physical. I need recovery

457
00:23:57.640 --> 00:24:01.480
and I need to like have a schedule that also

458
00:24:01.559 --> 00:24:04.480
fits in as an athlete with recovery days and tapering,

459
00:24:04.559 --> 00:24:08.799
and so it's yeah, I'm all for it.

460
00:24:08.880 --> 00:24:11.240
Oursels and not just at work, bad at home. Like

461
00:24:11.279 --> 00:24:13.759
we've talked before, You and I have talked about if

462
00:24:13.799 --> 00:24:15.279
you can afford a cleaner, get a clean and if

463
00:24:15.279 --> 00:24:17.440
you can get your groceries delivered, get them delivered. Do

464
00:24:17.519 --> 00:24:20.039
what you can. Don't be as shy air tasker for

465
00:24:20.119 --> 00:24:24.279
help like I've heard got about this air task everything. Yeah,

466
00:24:24.319 --> 00:24:26.799
I get someone in and there's all these little things

467
00:24:26.839 --> 00:24:27.720
around the house.

468
00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:30.079
That build up, build up, build up, and I've just

469
00:24:30.599 --> 00:24:32.839
you know, here you go like, paint that fill in

470
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:35.880
that hole, hang that painting, all that stuff. Because my

471
00:24:35.960 --> 00:24:39.720
husband's got like three four jobs. He works seven days

472
00:24:40.119 --> 00:24:41.920
the time. When he's home, I don't want him to

473
00:24:41.960 --> 00:24:45.319
be a handyman. So I'm like, help, help, And you

474
00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:47.480
know another thing I haven't got.

475
00:24:47.839 --> 00:24:48.519
I can't believe it.

476
00:24:48.519 --> 00:24:50.799
I'm saying it, but I'm Tiffany Hall, and I haven't

477
00:24:50.799 --> 00:24:51.839
got time to go to the gym.

478
00:24:52.039 --> 00:24:54.359
I don't and it's really hard.

479
00:24:54.599 --> 00:24:58.039
And I was only making one hour of pilates a

480
00:24:58.960 --> 00:25:01.480
week and then and the other fitness I was sort

481
00:25:01.480 --> 00:25:03.559
of doing was just in my treadmill and my kitchen.

482
00:25:03.599 --> 00:25:06.079
I've got a treadmill that lives in my kitchen and

483
00:25:06.119 --> 00:25:08.240
I'm like, this isn't good enough. I need more in

484
00:25:08.319 --> 00:25:13.160
order to do my job. So I'm converting my garage

485
00:25:13.240 --> 00:25:15.960
to a gym. I've just put down some you know,

486
00:25:16.160 --> 00:25:19.279
gym mats, and I've bought some equipment, and you know,

487
00:25:19.359 --> 00:25:22.640
that's my next level of Okay, when Arnold's asleep and

488
00:25:23.079 --> 00:25:24.680
you know, when I can, I'm just going to go

489
00:25:24.680 --> 00:25:27.079
in the garage now, Like it's not fancy.

490
00:25:27.240 --> 00:25:28.519
They won't look very fancy.

491
00:25:28.559 --> 00:25:30.519
And if I do Instagram, it you'll be like, oh,

492
00:25:30.519 --> 00:25:32.359
that's very low fightif but.

493
00:25:32.359 --> 00:25:33.440
You know you don't need a lot.

494
00:25:33.680 --> 00:25:35.920
I'm a big believer in that couple of dumbbells and

495
00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:38.599
a mirror and you know, check your form and that's it.

496
00:25:39.839 --> 00:25:42.640
I hope you're enjoying season four of the show. And hey,

497
00:25:42.680 --> 00:25:44.400
I would love for you to check out my brand

498
00:25:44.440 --> 00:25:47.359
new YouTube channel where I'm sharing even more tips on

499
00:25:47.400 --> 00:25:49.960
how you can feel less crappy and more happy. It's

500
00:25:50.039 --> 00:25:53.079
YouTube dot com Forward slash cast Done, So come over

501
00:25:53.240 --> 00:25:55.359
check it out. I'd love for you to subscribe, And

502
00:25:55.519 --> 00:25:58.920
if you haven't already taken my free seven day Happiness challenge,

503
00:25:58.920 --> 00:26:01.200
you can sign up for that cast done dot com

504
00:26:01.319 --> 00:26:09.000
Forward slash Happiness. Can we talk about self care? Yeah,

505
00:26:09.039 --> 00:26:11.279
so what do you do now that you've recognized your

506
00:26:11.279 --> 00:26:15.480
limits and we've talked about asking for help, what else

507
00:26:15.519 --> 00:26:18.119
do you do to make sure that you're on your

508
00:26:18.160 --> 00:26:21.359
game and looking after your health particularly and you're well.

509
00:26:21.599 --> 00:26:26.039
I think I was it you talked to me about

510
00:26:26.039 --> 00:26:29.759
worry time. Yes, probably that's one of my tips. Yeah,

511
00:26:29.839 --> 00:26:32.119
worry time. Okay, this is cast on tips.

512
00:26:32.680 --> 00:26:35.839
So she said, like, set aside time to worry, Like,

513
00:26:35.920 --> 00:26:38.039
don't worry all day about the thing that you have

514
00:26:38.119 --> 00:26:41.039
to deal with, worry about it in the time. So

515
00:26:41.160 --> 00:26:42.960
for example, I have to make a I have to

516
00:26:43.000 --> 00:26:45.880
call someone back, and it's like then, you know, and

517
00:26:46.000 --> 00:26:48.599
it's just an effort. And on the way here, I

518
00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:51.680
was like worrying about when I would call her or

519
00:26:51.720 --> 00:26:53.559
when I would deal with this, And then I made

520
00:26:53.559 --> 00:26:57.240
that decision. Tomorrow at ten o'clock, when I'm free, I

521
00:26:57.279 --> 00:26:59.000
will call her. I'm not going to think about it again,

522
00:26:59.240 --> 00:27:01.880
you know, have that discussion then, you know, and setting

523
00:27:01.960 --> 00:27:04.319
aside that time to worry about it and deal with

524
00:27:04.359 --> 00:27:05.119
it is great.

525
00:27:05.200 --> 00:27:06.559
And I do that a lot.

526
00:27:06.759 --> 00:27:09.759
So I write down all the things that I'm worried about,

527
00:27:10.319 --> 00:27:14.480
and then you know, seven o'clock tonight, when Arnold's in bed,

528
00:27:14.599 --> 00:27:17.119
I'll sit down and I'll get a strategy around that.

529
00:27:17.119 --> 00:27:18.079
That's my worry time.

530
00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:21.559
Or I'll engage ed and okay, here we go, this

531
00:27:21.640 --> 00:27:23.960
is what I'm worried about. Together, we'll get a strategy

532
00:27:24.039 --> 00:27:25.599
and there's some comfort there, you know.

533
00:27:26.000 --> 00:27:30.319
And then it's not just unproductive worry either. It's problem solving. Yeah, good, and.

534
00:27:30.599 --> 00:27:35.039
It's not that whole that anxious and you know, distracting

535
00:27:35.319 --> 00:27:39.119
destructions and procrastinating, and you know that come with worry.

536
00:27:39.279 --> 00:27:42.000
It's just very clean cut worry. I don't know if

537
00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:44.640
that makes sense. It's no, it makes perfect sense.

538
00:27:45.720 --> 00:27:48.759
And so a big part of it for me is

539
00:27:48.920 --> 00:27:53.680
writing it out and moving it out. Exercise and movement

540
00:27:53.759 --> 00:27:56.079
for me has always been a way to deal with

541
00:27:56.680 --> 00:28:01.880
feeling anxious, feeling stressed, not dealing with the juggle. And

542
00:28:01.960 --> 00:28:05.000
it can be something as simple as putting on tiffxone

543
00:28:05.039 --> 00:28:07.599
doing one round like five minutes. And I don't look

544
00:28:07.640 --> 00:28:09.960
at it as thy Oh look, I'm a fitness expert,

545
00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:11.839
you know. I know five minutes isn't going to grow

546
00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:15.640
my biceps or lose ten kilos or do anything. But

547
00:28:16.240 --> 00:28:19.920
it moves my cells, and it's getting oxygen to the cells,

548
00:28:19.960 --> 00:28:23.160
and it's you know, indorphins, and it's all the great

549
00:28:23.240 --> 00:28:26.359
things that my body's doing to make change my mindset.

550
00:28:26.359 --> 00:28:28.240
And I'm a big believer that if you change your

551
00:28:28.240 --> 00:28:33.240
physiology by moving, you then change your focus. So then

552
00:28:33.279 --> 00:28:36.200
I come out of five minutes going oh, okay, yep, next,

553
00:28:36.559 --> 00:28:40.880
So that's a big thing. And also just having that

554
00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:45.640
twenty year perspective, like thinking, oh, in twenty years, is

555
00:28:45.680 --> 00:28:48.359
this going to affect me, like I know it feels

556
00:28:48.400 --> 00:28:50.359
like a big deal right now, and I know that

557
00:28:50.440 --> 00:28:55.079
I'm feeling really emotional and invested. But in twenty years,

558
00:28:55.119 --> 00:28:58.200
like when I'm at Arnold's graduation, we'll like care about

559
00:28:58.200 --> 00:29:02.000
this day. And with in that, I keep reminding myself

560
00:29:02.039 --> 00:29:05.440
that I can't pay my bills with other people's opinions

561
00:29:05.440 --> 00:29:08.799
of me. So when things, you know, when things come

562
00:29:08.920 --> 00:29:14.319
up on social media, when people challenge me, I think, yeah, good,

563
00:29:14.359 --> 00:29:17.960
save it. Have that opinion of me whatever I've done,

564
00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:20.599
but it's not paying my bills. So I'm going to

565
00:29:20.640 --> 00:29:22.640
stay focused on doing what I'm good at, which is

566
00:29:22.720 --> 00:29:25.680
training and coaching people who feel good. And you can

567
00:29:25.799 --> 00:29:27.319
just think what you think about me.

568
00:29:28.880 --> 00:29:32.799
Ah, there's a tweetable. I can't pay my bills with

569
00:29:32.920 --> 00:29:37.440
other people's opinion of me. That's gold. I love that.

570
00:29:37.680 --> 00:29:39.559
I'm going to be speaking that out of my fridge

571
00:29:39.559 --> 00:29:39.960
at home.

572
00:29:40.079 --> 00:29:42.480
It's so true, right, And in this world we live in,

573
00:29:42.519 --> 00:29:43.440
everyone's gone opinion.

574
00:29:43.599 --> 00:29:47.319
Every online, everybody's going to opinion. Oh, and it's everything.

575
00:29:47.400 --> 00:29:49.839
Everyone's going an opinion on what you do in your

576
00:29:49.839 --> 00:29:52.920
work life and stuff like you know, from your family

577
00:29:52.960 --> 00:29:55.519
to your friends or you work too much, or why

578
00:29:55.559 --> 00:29:56.920
are you doing this? Or why are you doing that?

579
00:29:57.480 --> 00:29:59.960
And then everyone has an opinion about you as a mother,

580
00:30:00.359 --> 00:30:03.960
and you know, then we're starting to get into the

581
00:30:03.960 --> 00:30:06.960
we's arnold going to school and like what sort of

582
00:30:07.079 --> 00:30:08.799
education is he going to have? And what are you

583
00:30:08.880 --> 00:30:12.000
doing for three year old kinder and that whole judgment

584
00:30:12.240 --> 00:30:15.680
you know, the judgy thing of how how you raise

585
00:30:15.759 --> 00:30:18.519
your children, which you know, I've just come out of

586
00:30:18.960 --> 00:30:21.839
the whole judge thing of how you do the baby

587
00:30:21.839 --> 00:30:27.200
baby stuff and naps, routines, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, whatever you

588
00:30:27.240 --> 00:30:29.519
choose to do, and now I'm into the judge thing

589
00:30:29.559 --> 00:30:31.599
of oh, now you're raising your child and this is

590
00:30:31.599 --> 00:30:34.119
what he should be doing and why is it you know,

591
00:30:34.279 --> 00:30:37.519
we're entering toilet training and I don't know. So it's

592
00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:41.200
it's just I just don't care for people's opinions, really,

593
00:30:42.400 --> 00:30:42.799
do you.

594
00:30:42.920 --> 00:30:45.759
I think it's through that's a that's a really good

595
00:30:45.839 --> 00:30:48.000
point too, and I really, I mean that can be

596
00:30:48.599 --> 00:30:50.079
it can be a long road to get to that

597
00:30:50.160 --> 00:30:53.480
point to let go of caring because we're we are

598
00:30:54.240 --> 00:31:00.480
wired to want social acceptance. Yeah, and there's a lot

599
00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:05.440
of that judgment criticism. We're why to be fearful and

600
00:31:05.519 --> 00:31:09.960
threatened by social rejection social hostility. And the Internet is

601
00:31:11.000 --> 00:31:14.480
fabulous for social rejection and social hostility, you know. And

602
00:31:14.559 --> 00:31:18.240
so getting this moving to a place where you can

603
00:31:19.480 --> 00:31:23.640
work out whose opinions matter and forget the rest is

604
00:31:23.920 --> 00:31:24.680
it's liberating.

605
00:31:24.839 --> 00:31:27.680
It's so liberating and reminding yourself that the big players

606
00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:30.160
like Facebook and Instagram, they know that they know we're

607
00:31:30.160 --> 00:31:32.720
wired for self acceptance, and then they added the metrics

608
00:31:32.720 --> 00:31:34.880
on it it likes and views.

609
00:31:34.920 --> 00:31:39.119
Did you read the book? Yeah, exactly. Digital minimalism as

610
00:31:39.160 --> 00:31:41.440
the book I was talking about. And I told Tiff,

611
00:31:41.720 --> 00:31:45.079
get on that percent, and they're tricking us, and you've

612
00:31:45.079 --> 00:31:48.279
got to remember that the way that Facebook. When I

613
00:31:48.319 --> 00:31:51.359
was talking about this this morning at a business chicks break, Yes,

614
00:31:51.839 --> 00:31:54.359
and the girl next to me doesn't have Facebook, doesn't

615
00:31:54.440 --> 00:31:56.319
use Instagram, and I was like, wow, you are like her,

616
00:31:56.720 --> 00:32:01.519
like sprare breed in today's world. And I was talking

617
00:32:01.559 --> 00:32:03.839
to her about that book as well, because cal Newport

618
00:32:03.880 --> 00:32:08.039
famously writes about this stuff but does not have any

619
00:32:08.079 --> 00:32:11.240
social media, doesn't use any social media. And he says,

620
00:32:11.319 --> 00:32:14.480
you know, when Facebook came out, there was no like button. Yeah,

621
00:32:14.640 --> 00:32:17.519
but then they worked out that people are wired to

622
00:32:17.599 --> 00:32:19.839
seek social approval, so they added the like bucket and

623
00:32:19.960 --> 00:32:23.400
suddenly engagement went up. Everybody wanted to tap in. Everybody

624
00:32:23.400 --> 00:32:26.119
needed to get those that little red dot and and

625
00:32:26.119 --> 00:32:30.480
the notifications. But bell is read for a reason, tapped

626
00:32:30.480 --> 00:32:32.319
into your psychology. This is urgent. I need to look

627
00:32:32.319 --> 00:32:35.920
at this. It's so interesting and it's scary.

628
00:32:36.160 --> 00:32:37.599
Good to be a wake up to it, yeah, but

629
00:32:37.640 --> 00:32:39.519
it's good to be aware of it because social media

630
00:32:39.559 --> 00:32:41.839
can be great. It can it can bring us together,

631
00:32:41.880 --> 00:32:44.720
and it can add support and solace, and you can,

632
00:32:44.920 --> 00:32:48.359
you know, meet fake friends. I don't know, but I

633
00:32:48.400 --> 00:32:51.039
think we just have to keep it all in perspective,

634
00:32:51.640 --> 00:32:55.359
you know. And I'm very good now at sort of

635
00:32:55.440 --> 00:33:00.920
separating it. Social media for me is work effectso community

636
00:33:01.079 --> 00:33:04.119
is not. That is heart and soul and the community

637
00:33:04.160 --> 00:33:06.599
I treat it bit. It's very different for me. But

638
00:33:06.960 --> 00:33:10.599
Instagram and my Facebook page that is very much work

639
00:33:10.640 --> 00:33:12.960
and I share a lot of myself with people, but

640
00:33:13.440 --> 00:33:14.599
I separate it.

641
00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:20.160
Yeah, I've deactivated my private Facebook. Okay, yeah, for work too.

642
00:33:20.319 --> 00:33:23.839
Same, I deactivated it and it's been great. And my

643
00:33:23.960 --> 00:33:27.240
real friends, like all my very close friends who have

644
00:33:27.359 --> 00:33:31.200
known ten years plus. I just contacted them. You know,

645
00:33:31.240 --> 00:33:34.200
if you need me, call me, text me. What's at me?

646
00:33:34.720 --> 00:33:37.640
Oh yeah, okay cool. And it's been fine. And I said,

647
00:33:37.640 --> 00:33:40.640
don't do any of those group invites on Facebook because

648
00:33:40.839 --> 00:33:43.079
just remember tips on Facebook, because I won't know to

649
00:33:43.119 --> 00:33:45.599
come and it's you know, they'll call you.

650
00:33:45.480 --> 00:33:49.079
Your real friends call people survive. My husband doesn't have Facebook.

651
00:33:49.079 --> 00:33:51.160
He's to this day he says, my real friends will

652
00:33:51.160 --> 00:33:52.839
call me. They'll find a way. They know I'm not there.

653
00:33:52.920 --> 00:33:54.960
Yeah, my husband's not on Instagram and he works in

654
00:33:55.000 --> 00:33:58.079
the media. People are like, what are you doing?

655
00:33:59.079 --> 00:34:01.039
So, Tia have another thing you and I talked about

656
00:34:01.079 --> 00:34:04.720
early on in our very first season together, was this

657
00:34:04.799 --> 00:34:07.960
idea of perfectionism. I said that I was a recovering

658
00:34:07.960 --> 00:34:10.360
I considered myself to be a recovering perfectionist, and you,

659
00:34:10.400 --> 00:34:13.840
at that time said, know that you were still actively perfectionist.

660
00:34:14.360 --> 00:34:17.320
We have had conversations about your shower screens more than

661
00:34:17.360 --> 00:34:23.320
once and your visitor lights. How is that going for you?

662
00:34:23.360 --> 00:34:26.039
Well, with a two year old with a crayon in

663
00:34:26.079 --> 00:34:29.239
one hand and a veg you might sandwich in the other.

664
00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:31.400
I've had to just let.

665
00:34:31.280 --> 00:34:34.400
It go a bit because my shower screens are now

666
00:34:34.519 --> 00:34:38.920
like really like covered in veggimite and crayon. Like it's

667
00:34:39.000 --> 00:34:42.480
just you know, it's not just about cleaning, but it's

668
00:34:42.480 --> 00:34:43.039
about work.

669
00:34:43.079 --> 00:34:45.440
To you always say, you know, embrace good enough.

670
00:34:46.360 --> 00:34:50.119
I have upped my self belief and my confidence and

671
00:34:50.199 --> 00:34:54.280
said to myself, Okay, you are really good at what

672
00:34:54.320 --> 00:34:57.840
you do, so back yourself and then do what you

673
00:34:57.960 --> 00:35:00.559
do and that's good enough. Yeah. I don't have to

674
00:35:00.639 --> 00:35:04.159
do it perfectly. But you know, I'm here for a reason.

675
00:35:04.360 --> 00:35:08.039
I've been employed. I'm standing here. This is my gig

676
00:35:08.079 --> 00:35:10.800
and my job. I'm going to do my very best.

677
00:35:10.960 --> 00:35:13.559
It's in me now. Everything that's that I need is

678
00:35:13.599 --> 00:35:15.440
within me now, and that's good enough.

679
00:35:15.840 --> 00:35:18.559
Yeah. And I don't like pine and worry and h

680
00:35:18.599 --> 00:35:21.960
I just do it. That is such a great point

681
00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:27.920
because what you said is that's the key. Perfectionism is

682
00:35:27.920 --> 00:35:30.440
often driven by fear that what I do is not

683
00:35:30.480 --> 00:35:33.800
good enough. And if you can wholeheartedly believe that I've

684
00:35:33.840 --> 00:35:36.760
got the goods, I'm good at what I do and

685
00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:40.199
that's enough, then good enough is good enough. Yeah, exactly.

686
00:35:40.400 --> 00:35:43.519
And back in the day, I would prepare forever to

687
00:35:43.559 --> 00:35:46.000
do like a live event on the weekend, I went

688
00:35:46.039 --> 00:35:48.360
to the Fitness show and I presented and I took

689
00:35:48.599 --> 00:35:52.480
one hundred people a time through you know classes, and

690
00:35:53.199 --> 00:35:55.480
I just sort of like showed up and like the

691
00:35:55.599 --> 00:35:57.760
music started and on.

692
00:35:57.639 --> 00:35:58.480
The spot did it?

693
00:35:58.599 --> 00:36:01.800
Like really, because i know exactly what I need to do,

694
00:36:01.920 --> 00:36:04.880
and I've got thirty years experience and it's all backed

695
00:36:04.960 --> 00:36:05.599
up and it's.

696
00:36:05.440 --> 00:36:08.199
All in my head and in my heart, and I

697
00:36:08.239 --> 00:36:08.559
know what.

698
00:36:08.519 --> 00:36:10.440
I'm doing and it's like I don't need to make

699
00:36:10.480 --> 00:36:12.559
notes like you know.

700
00:36:12.679 --> 00:36:14.920
So it's it's.

701
00:36:14.920 --> 00:36:18.320
Very empowering and freeing and that's it.

702
00:36:18.599 --> 00:36:20.360
That's a good way to be. And of course then

703
00:36:20.440 --> 00:36:23.239
what happens is that you get the result at the

704
00:36:23.320 --> 00:36:26.000
end and it is good enough people love it. And

705
00:36:26.039 --> 00:36:29.119
then that's what works, I think, to rewire your thinking

706
00:36:29.199 --> 00:36:32.719
and rewire your brain. You get the positive feedback and go, oh, okay,

707
00:36:32.760 --> 00:36:36.119
so that actually was good enough. That's that's all I

708
00:36:36.159 --> 00:36:37.719
need to do. Can I go of all of this

709
00:36:37.800 --> 00:36:42.639
other worry and struggle and striving and overachieving? Yes?

710
00:36:43.159 --> 00:36:47.760
And I think it's like not focusing on the perfectionism,

711
00:36:47.920 --> 00:36:52.039
but focusing on maintaining the self love and the confidence.

712
00:36:52.519 --> 00:36:54.920
So you know a great quote that lives in my

713
00:36:55.039 --> 00:36:57.559
family is self love is like good bread. It has

714
00:36:57.599 --> 00:37:00.320
to be baked fresh every single day. And some days,

715
00:37:00.320 --> 00:37:02.239
you know, I burn the toes. Some days I really

716
00:37:02.280 --> 00:37:06.400
do feel like I'm not nailing it. But then most

717
00:37:06.639 --> 00:37:09.119
most of the time, I'm pretty happy with that bread.

718
00:37:09.719 --> 00:37:12.960
So as long as I know that is strong and

719
00:37:13.000 --> 00:37:18.039
sustainable my confidence and my my careful myself, then I

720
00:37:18.079 --> 00:37:19.840
know I can do a good job. It's all you

721
00:37:19.920 --> 00:37:23.920
really need is belief in yourself. It's cliched, but cliches

722
00:37:24.039 --> 00:37:24.480
are true.

723
00:37:24.880 --> 00:37:29.840
Yeah, Tiff, I just feel like this conversation has been

724
00:37:30.440 --> 00:37:34.280
so great because we've really come full circle. We've gone

725
00:37:34.360 --> 00:37:37.119
back to all of those early topics and been able

726
00:37:37.159 --> 00:37:40.440
to revisit and see how far we've both comes come.

727
00:37:41.159 --> 00:37:45.440
And I think the message that I am taking away

728
00:37:46.079 --> 00:37:49.599
is that you know, it is a process, Like it's

729
00:37:49.599 --> 00:37:52.599
for me, this feels like it's an evolution, and there's

730
00:37:52.719 --> 00:37:55.719
ups and there's downs, but we just keep on evolving

731
00:37:55.760 --> 00:37:58.280
and growing and learning and taking the lessons and just

732
00:37:58.280 --> 00:37:59.199
doing the best we can.

733
00:37:59.519 --> 00:38:02.320
And successes isn't It's not linear. You're going to go

734
00:38:02.519 --> 00:38:07.039
around in circles because you're learning and the failures of lessons,

735
00:38:07.119 --> 00:38:10.119
and you know, I feel like I've been in the

736
00:38:10.239 --> 00:38:13.159
washer a bit, but I'm coming out of it. And

737
00:38:13.360 --> 00:38:17.719
it's so awesome, Cass, to see you here with such

738
00:38:17.760 --> 00:38:20.679
a successful season of Crappy to Happy behind you and

739
00:38:21.159 --> 00:38:24.039
doing it and doing your thing and your awesome books.

740
00:38:24.079 --> 00:38:27.480
If you haven't read Crappy to Happy, thank my goodness,

741
00:38:27.519 --> 00:38:31.320
just so gorgeous, and you know, to see you grow

742
00:38:31.400 --> 00:38:32.599
and do your thing.

743
00:38:32.920 --> 00:38:34.920
Thanks, Tiff. I mean, it has been When we first

744
00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:37.960
sat in here together, neither of us had any idea

745
00:38:38.199 --> 00:38:39.960
about a podcast, and you were.

746
00:38:39.880 --> 00:38:42.320
Just thinking about Crappy to Happy as a brand, as

747
00:38:42.320 --> 00:38:45.440
a business. You're like, do you like the name? I'm like,

748
00:38:45.480 --> 00:38:46.800
oh my god, Cass.

749
00:38:46.639 --> 00:38:47.800
It's incredible.

750
00:38:48.119 --> 00:38:49.880
Everything about it is fantastic.

751
00:38:50.159 --> 00:38:52.800
And so here we are. So this has been fantastic.

752
00:38:52.840 --> 00:38:54.599
It's been so good to have you back. I know

753
00:38:54.679 --> 00:38:57.440
that everybody listening to this is going to be super

754
00:38:57.760 --> 00:39:01.559
excited to get the update from you, and I know

755
00:39:01.639 --> 00:39:05.280
it will be messaging motive motif. So maybe we'll maybe

756
00:39:05.360 --> 00:39:08.199
I would. I would love to come back little guest

757
00:39:08.280 --> 00:39:09.480
episode next season.

758
00:39:09.519 --> 00:39:11.960
And I'd just like to say to everyone out there

759
00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:15.119
who are juggling, not just mums, who are juggling, but

760
00:39:15.440 --> 00:39:20.079
you know you juggle a lot. Just just remember that

761
00:39:20.159 --> 00:39:21.119
you can have it all.

762
00:39:21.199 --> 00:39:21.679
You can.

763
00:39:22.639 --> 00:39:26.960
But as we've demonstrated through me being pregnant series one,

764
00:39:27.079 --> 00:39:28.800
then I was in a moon boot with a broken

765
00:39:28.840 --> 00:39:32.880
ankle in series two, and now I'm back here now.

766
00:39:32.960 --> 00:39:36.320
But I'm feeling pretty good right now. You just got

767
00:39:36.360 --> 00:39:38.239
to remember you can have it all, but not all

768
00:39:38.280 --> 00:39:38.760
at once.

769
00:39:39.119 --> 00:39:43.679
Yeah. Yeah, that's a great tip. Tiff. Thank you so much,

770
00:39:43.800 --> 00:39:47.239
Thank you, Ken. It's been a pleasure, No.

771
00:39:46.599 --> 00:39:48.320
A huge pleasure. Thank you, it's been an honor.

772
00:39:48.360 --> 00:39:55.559
Actually, how good was it having Tiff back in the studio.

773
00:39:55.719 --> 00:39:57.679
I love that woman so much. And if you want

774
00:39:57.719 --> 00:40:00.679
to learn more about Tiff, she's all over the You

775
00:40:00.719 --> 00:40:04.599
can join her online fitness program tfxo dot com, catch

776
00:40:04.599 --> 00:40:07.239
here on our socials, or just generally admire all the

777
00:40:07.280 --> 00:40:12.079
amazing things that she is doing in the world. In

778
00:40:12.119 --> 00:40:15.119
the next episode, we'll be talking to Mark Manson, author

779
00:40:15.199 --> 00:40:18.880
of two international best selling books, The Subtle Art of

780
00:40:18.960 --> 00:40:21.599
Not Giving a Fuck and his latest Everything Is Fucked,

781
00:40:21.599 --> 00:40:26.079
a book about hope. Crappy to Happy is presented by

782
00:40:26.079 --> 00:40:29.920
Cash Dunn, produced by Davis Lenski, Audio production by Darcy

783
00:40:29.960 --> 00:40:35.639
Thompson Listener