Juggling family and career with Tiff Hall

0:02 A listener production. Hello, and welcome back to season four of Crappy to Happy. I'm your host, Cas Dunn, and here we are again for more insights from some of the most incredible people around. I am so happy to be back and chatting with you all. I actually get pretty excited every time I'm here in the studio talking to my guests, especially knowing the impact that it's having on you listening. So this is season four and what it's all about, as the name implies, is to look at all of the ways you might be feeling crappy and give you the tools, techniques and insights to help you overcome them. In each episode, I introduce you to interesting, inspiring, intelligent people who are experts in their fields, and my hope is that they will help you feel less crappy and more happy. Before we kick off, I do want to say thank you for all of your messages during the break. Please keep them coming in hearing from you, and you can send me an email directly at Hello atkasdone dot com. I do read them all and I love hearing your thoughts. So we have got a lot of great conversations for you in this season, and we're going a little deeper than we ever have before with some pretty eye opening topics. We're going to start with someone who I know is close to all of your hearts and is close to mine too. She started this whole crappy to happy journey with me. She was my co host for the first two seasons until she had to leave due to other commitments. But we managed to

1:32 find time and I got her back for an episode to talk about work life balance, juggling career and family, and whether or not you really can have it all here. She is one of my absolute heroes. Tiffany Hall, it's so good to have you back, Cas. Thank you for having me. Oh, I feel at home in this little studio with you. It's like the reunion, and I'm exactly the same today. I was going, Oh, it's just mentificant today in old days. I know, it feels really beautiful to be here and with our producer Dave, and you know, it's just so fun. In our spots. Okay, So, tiff it has been over twelve months since you and I sat down together. Yeah.

2:16 In fact, you had a moon boot and Arnie was tiny last time we sat in this studio. Yeah, so can you just fill us in on where you're at in your life right now. Since then, well, that baby has grown. He's twenty two months. He's walking and he's talking. He is a chatterbox. Talks, talks, talks all day, which is fantastic. I'm still at the helm of tiff XO and driving that and looking after the business. I'm also the director of training for the Center Fit app and I do workouts and on camera stuff there to ed. My husband and I are releasing a book in September, picture book called A First Time for Everything.

3:04 Yes, so that was. A huge project and we're really excited about it. And I've done a ted x talk, I've traveled the world with Arnold and myself following Chris Hemsworth around. I've just gone from strength to strength. With TIFEXO and had a few fractures along the way. Like last time you said when I was in the moon boot, that's relaxing for you straight after you know, you have birth. You got those lucy goosey. Ligaments and yeah, and now I'm just, yeah, trying to achieve that thing we're all sort of in search for, which is the balance between work and life. That elusive Yeah, work life balance. Yeah, because we did say on the season three that the reason that you'd had to stop the podcast was because fortunately the Chris Hems work center I've had come it was huge. You were everywhere, was traveling so much. So this whole concept of busyness. It was literally our first episode that we ever did together. Yeah, like getting out of that busy I thought it was Yeah, I.

4:14 Was pregnant and I hadn't even had a baby, and I was like, I can't Was I pregnant then or was that the same Yeah season when you were pregnant. I was pregnant, So I was, you know, eight months pregnant then, and I thought, can't get busier than this? And then had a baby and yeah, get busier. Yeah, you took a full time job with a business. Yeah, it was fun. Let's talk about that then, So how are you managing that? That's a lot. Okay, that is a lot that you have on your pes. So I'd have to say, between us and you, dear listener, there have been times where I haven't managed for sure. It was overwhelming. Self care went out the window. I allowed people's demands on me and my time take over what I needed personally. There were moments where I was just constantly sick and run down and I wasn't managing.

5:11 I've made changes now, but yeah, it was a wake up call that I can't do what I used to do now that I'm a mom, and I don't want to do what I used to do now that I'm a mom because I'm busy, but also my priorities have changed. I was going to say, priorities do change, don't they Yeah, they do. And it's that thing of managing the busyness. It it's saying no. And I look at the saying no not as and I used to be very fearful, and we've discussed this on air and off air, very fearful of what the refusal would mean, and you know how people would take that. And I was always thinking the worst case scenario based on a set of beliefs that really wasn't true. And now I look at it as like saying no, he's saying yes to myself and also clarifying my priorities.

5:59 I say know to. You because Arnold's more important, or I say no to you because you know what, I haven't seen my husband properly in two weeks. Ye, because we're both so busy and tonight we're just gonna chill and watch Netflix. And that's important. So I'm saying no, you know. Yeah, I mean that's all really important and really important lessons because to take that theory and actually apply it in your life, then you have to tolerate all that discomfort. Yes, all of that those feelings that come up with Yeah, but what will people think? Yeah? And I was going to ask you too, like you had to say no to the podcast because and understandably, like you weren't even half in the country lost the time. Yes, but were there other things that came along that you had to say no to? And what's that like? Because your career has skyrocketed, like right at the time, Yeah, when you had Arnold and your priorities have changed, So you're weird balance that tension.

6:54 Yeah, absolutely, and so weird that the career took off when I had a baby and I had this huge responsibility to him and it was so hard. And I mean I remember, like I was traveling to New York with Arnold and he was so little, like seven eight months, and I had to go straight to set to coach a world class boxing Olympic trainer and I get on set and we're moving around and I felt like I was going to vomit because I was breastfeeding. My boobs were exploding. I was worried about the baby. We just stepped off a flight. I had my business in the back of my mind, and I thought, how am I going to survive this?

7:37 And you know, women are just warriors. You just do. You just survive it. But I've had to say no to a lot of things in order to preserve my own wellbeing, I guess, and it's heart breaking. I'd saying no to the podcast, for example, heartbreaking, but it was that in order to go and build my profile globally, which was an opportunity I just couldn't say no to. I've said no to position on Dancing with the Stars this year, oh really. I've said no to other television gigs because they demand a lot of hours and I didn't want to be away from Arnold in that capacity. I'm very blessed that with my business I can work a lot from home or he can come to set. Not so much now because he talks and he'll beell like ah, but you know, I've had him with me all the time, So taking on roles television roles now where I'd have to be away from him for long periods of time just I just don't want to do that. And I've also had to say no to a lot of you know, demands on my time that just aren't important.

8:51 Just you know, there's energy vampires. And time suckers and and you know, just saying, Okay, you want this from me, but what am I getting in return? And then sort of looking at the weighing it up now a bit more, whereas I was always saying yes, and I always want to help people. That's where I come from, and that's like really deep within me wanting to help people. Build my business on that. But yeah, you've still got to be sensible boundaries, yes, and create those boundaries, especially in this day and age with social media. And my business is an online business, and so my members are online, and they're online twenty four to seven, and there are different platforms. We've got Facebook, we've got Instagram, we've got a blog, we've got the TIFXO website. So servicing that is a full time job.

9:43 And yet like monitoring our members is a full time job. But I've got to create boundaries because I cannot be in my community at eleven o'clock at night answering questions. So you know, I've been better at dealing with that as well. Yeah, I think that's you just have to be, don't you. I mean, I'm in a similar position, not to the same extent, obviously. I'm also in the tipic So community, yes, of course. And you get tagged and you get questions, then people message yeah, and it's twenty four to seven, and you just have to draw the line and you unplugged. And I deleted my private message Facebook thing on my phone, so I'm sure people are sending me messages on Facebook. I just deleted it. And we have an automatic thing coming going out now saying email, you know, hello at tifso dot com if you have a question, and then I'll get back to you that way.

10:32 But I just. Couldn't deal with it. I did the same, Yeah, exactly. It's so good. And I go through phases where I delete Instagram as well, and I have a little break from it and I'll log onto the computer and you know, upload my daily posts or I'll check in on it. But you know, if you don't see me doing stories for a couple of days, I've deleted the app, but you know, it's fine, and and I do have a good healthy I think perspective on that. It's just an app, like it's not it's not live and die by these likes and the performance of my last post or you know, building that profile. And I never got into to be insta famous anyway.

11:13 Like I remember when we first met, you had never even had a social media account. You have no we create one? Yeah, tip XO. Yeah two thousand. I was so late to the party, like twenty sixteen. Oh my goodness, imagine that people being a personal trainer without an Instagram account. That was me. And I've been on TV and everything. I know, and You're like, what but I don't want to if you have to here, but why what am I going to do? I'm not that interesting. I'm just that home all. Day, like you know, like I just couldn't fathom it. But then people like you can put exercise on this Instagram and I'm like, oh, well I can record a workout, Okay, I can do it like that. But yeah, I've said no to a lot of things. I said no to Ninja Warrior like three times.

12:00 Did you Yeah, because oh that's so interesting because you get asked that all the time. I haven't got car, You've got to do a ninje worry. I'm not. I'm not a competitor anymore. I'm a coach. And to put that energy into training for something like that. I mean I train because I feel good and I trained to be fit to do my videos for TIFEXO. I mean that's and I have fun doing that and it, but I don't want to train for competition anymore. Yeah. So speaking about all of those demands on your time and the social media, I mean that's doubled with the Center Fit, right, Yeah, doubled. Everything's tripled and doubled and yeah, in intensity. So it's great it and it's great talking to people who are in the UK and the US who are loving my workouts.

12:46 And you know, I don't know how long I'll be with Center. It's working for the moment, but you know, it is a huge added commitment. But yeah, it's it's. Working really well to promote to fecso overseas as. Well and cross promote there. Yeah. So going back to you getting sick, because I remember there was a period there where you seem to be sick every other week, and I wanted to talk about that because they will be busy working mums, listening, gathering, you know, juggling the work and the baby and the struggling to say no and all all of those things. And it would seem that you, of all people who you know, you fit, your outdoors all the time, you have never drunk alcohol, You you know, have lived the healthiest lifestyle of anybody that I know. And that's but you were still getting really sick from the stress.

13:38 I think it was emotional, yeah, stress, And you know, you look at exercise and I wholeheartedly believe that exercise is so good for you mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically, but it is a stress on your body too if you are already depleted in any way. And so when your job's exercise and then you're also running a lot of things, and then you don't have recovery as a mum. You don't get to go home and sit on the couch and watch TV and chill and unwind. I get home from work and it's full on, like Arnold's nearly too. He just runs from one end of the house to the other, and he can be quite demanding and so you know, as any toddler, it's all about them, right, So I think I was getting everything from your common colds to constant sinusidists to shingles, just all these things infections that are a symbol that you run down. And my white blood cell count was always high, meaning I was always fighting infection. So that's when I thought, oh, things have to change. And I did change things in terms of asking for more help and I think allowing myself to do simple things.

14:53 Like cry, cry more. And I think it was Dan Harris who said, you know, crying is an evolution and it has an evolutionary purpose in that it's a symbol. Of surrender to a threat. And along with like that's how we find out offspring, we hear them crying, and it's also how we as a tribe can have empathy. But he said, you know, it's surrendering. And I cry all the time. I just well up and cry. Sometimes it's joy everything, but it just it's a coping mechanism of like just dealing with things like it was, so you know intense at times. Letting yourself feel what you feel. Yes, And I think that's something that I can, you know, I think is very important for people to do that, along with self love and acceptance that we talk a lot about. I think you need to feel the feelings deeply, and sometimes I shut them off and just keep going and going, and you know, Okay, we're on to dinner, then we're bath, then we're bed, then I'm on the computer.

15:49 And you know, children have routine and you go into that routine and you can just the days just pass and you're not feeling much. So I think it's important to sort of stop and feel. Yeah, well busy. Staying busy is its own form of avoidance. Yeah, just stay stay busy and don't let anything catch up because too much to do, don't have timet have time to feel it, to assess it. And I think it's important, you know, I would say to many mums out there dealing with it, cry and embrace yourself in terms of self love, holy like your failures and your flaws, and you don't have to be perfect, like just wholly accept it, because you know, in being this busy and juggling and taking so much on in the past two years and I've never been busier than since I've become a mum, I've also learned my limitations in business and in relationships, in how I deal with people, in how I have difficult conversations with people, and it's great, it's very enlightening. It's like, Okay, yeah, I'm not the best, but I'm gonna work on that. For example, I've talked to you for years how hard it is to say no.

17:10 Yes. I went to a great website we've talked to talked about before, and I did an online assertive course of course in assertiveness. Who knew it existed, right, But there. Were many modules and it took me weeks, but I sat down. It was great to talk about the different types of assertiveness and beliefs and blah blah blah. And I don't know if I'm many better at saying no, but I definitely felt good about it, like there's my limitation, Okay, what can I do about that? And there we go, and that's great. That's empowering yourself. Yeah, And the Center for Clinical Interventions website, anybody can look that up, and I used to when I was practicing therapy.

17:50 Like I don't see clients when on one anymore, but when I was, there's heaps of resources on there that I would just print off and give to people. Yeah, there's a whole therapist section where you can print off, but there's also the self help Yeah, jewels and courses. Great website, it's fantastic, So you know, finding those limitations working on it, and also you know, with the juggle and the struggle to juggle, I think reaching out for help this whole thing that I hate it. People people do refer to me as a super mum, and I'm like, oh god, I'm not super. I'm not super at all. I'm just very good at outsourcing and I'm very good at like asking for help, and I think that's very important. I'm glad that you mentioned that because I was going to ask you obviously there's you have been and having your own business makes it easier to be able to take Arnold with you and work around him as much as possible. It's very hands on. He works like morning still, he's very good with the hours.

18:44 We're very lucky that he shift works, you know. Yeah, yeah, so then what are the kind of help well we do have. We have a babysitter, of course, we have some childcare mum. We actually moved house to be one street away from Arnold's grandparents, so that helps. And a couple of doors, like a couple of streets away from his auntie and his cousin. So there is a lot of family support from my family and from Ed's family. And yeah, we have a babysitter. But also I have been better at asking for help within the structure of my business. So you know, I'm Tiffany, but behind Tiffany there's a team, and there's a publicist, a communications manager, a personal assistant, you know, everything from people who moderate the Facebook community, you know, they're asking for help and thinking to myself, Okay, the hard thing with TIFXO is that the business is me. I am the personal brand and the actual business brand, so it all comes back to me. But I thought, what can I do to outsource and have some help here because I can't do all my own publicity schedules.

19:57 And you know, so. There are there's a big team within Tiffecso that helped me and and I've just said I need more help, guys, I need more And that's when with yeah, I can't deal with that. You find a person that can help me with that, and then my focus can be more on Arnold. I have someone who looks after him. Every Mondays, that's like my meeting day. What do I need to do? It's a you know, it's all booked in on a Monday. Everyone knows Mondays are good for tea, that kind of thing. So it all works together and it is a team effort and it takes a village. But the problem is these days a lot of people don't have that village. And so that's why with TIFASO, what I try and do is offer mums that village and say, you get cast done, clinical psychologists, you get myself a trainer, and you get this community, and here's your village. Let's let's let's try and help each other to feel good.

20:50 It's one of the most positive, supportive online communities I've ever been involved in, That is for sure. It is amazing. Yeah. Yeah, I just wanted to pick up on that asking for help and business because I think that they're I mean, I'm in my own business as well, but clearly not to the scale or size of tiff x so. And I know a lot of other women who are doing their own thing, running their little solo business. They're working from home oftentimes for this reason. They want the flexibility they want to have more time with their kids, they want to have the freedom to work their own hours. And I just want to say too that one of the decisions that I have made just this year is to hire help and it has made such an enormous difference to my life and my earning capacity. And I want to say that for anybody who's listening, who is also out there struggling on their.

21:39 Own point, they might think that sounds expensive. I think they think, oh, but tips, you know, she's got that can afford it. Million dollar business and all these thousands of people, and she can do that. No, I wasn't making many, you know, big bucks. But I first started off with just a va who in the Philippines who could just do some basic admin online for me. And I've got another business manager here in Australia now who is setting up all the systems in my business. She takes stuff off my hands that she's saying, you need to give me more things to do, because let's get your hands off it, cas, get your hands off it. And it's just it takes it takes time to get your head around it and to let go of the control. But then it is so liberating and it frees you up to be creative and to work, to work in your zone of genius.

22:25 Yeah, and my zone is creating fitness programs and for the Center up, I create programs across all disciplines from boxing to pilates to strength you know, bulk building, strength and conditioning. Like you know, I love programming exercise. I love creating these programs. And so that's programming and presenting fitness. That's me and looking after my members. I don't know anything about business business. Like all the others, all the other stuff. Digital marketing, finances. I'm like, oh okay, like help, help please. That's what's happening for me too. And my person has said, we're getting to the state. We need to get you to the stage where the only things you do are the things that only you can do, and that way you are doing the important stuff and will take care of the rest. So there's this whole team now and it really it's just changed everything for me. So if anybody's out there listening, don't hold like high higher.

23:23 And also yeah, and you need to spend money and make money, yes, And people have said that to me for ages, and I just didn't believe it. I'm like, no way, I am Tiffin tif Ex. I can do it all. But then I'm doing it all and the creativity and the product isn't as good. And I was like, oh, or I'm doing a workout and I'd watched the video and I'm sure no one else could see it, but I looked exhausted and then like like doing a push up and I was going collapse, and I thought, oh, this is no good. I've got a factor in that I'm creating the product. I'm also physical. I need recovery and I need to like have a schedule that also fits in as an athlete with recovery days and tapering, and so it's yeah, I'm all for it.

24:08 Oursels and not just at work, bad at home. Like we've talked before, You and I have talked about if you can afford a cleaner, get a clean and if you can get your groceries delivered, get them delivered. Do what you can. Don't be as shy air tasker for help like I've heard got about this air task everything. Yeah, I get someone in and there's all these little things around the house. That build up, build up, build up, and I've just you know, here you go like, paint that fill in that hole, hang that painting, all that stuff. Because my husband's got like three four jobs. He works seven days the time. When he's home, I don't want him to be a handyman. So I'm like, help, help, And you know another thing I haven't got. I can't believe it. I'm saying it, but I'm Tiffany Hall, and I haven't got time to go to the gym.

24:52 I don't and it's really hard. And I was only making one hour of pilates a week and then and the other fitness I was sort of doing was just in my treadmill and my kitchen. I've got a treadmill that lives in my kitchen and I'm like, this isn't good enough. I need more in order to do my job. So I'm converting my garage to a gym. I've just put down some you know, gym mats, and I've bought some equipment, and you know, that's my next level of Okay, when Arnold's asleep and you know, when I can, I'm just going to go in the garage now, Like it's not fancy. They won't look very fancy. And if I do Instagram, it you'll be like, oh, that's very low fightif but.

25:32 You know you don't need a lot. I'm a big believer in that couple of dumbbells and a mirror and you know, check your form and that's it. I hope you're enjoying season four of the show. And hey, I would love for you to check out my brand new YouTube channel where I'm sharing even more tips on how you can feel less crappy and more happy. It's YouTube dot com Forward slash cast Done, So come over check it out. I'd love for you to subscribe, And if you haven't already taken my free seven day Happiness challenge, you can sign up for that cast done dot com Forward slash Happiness. Can we talk about self care? Yeah, so what do you do now that you've recognized your limits and we've talked about asking for help, what else do you do to make sure that you're on your game and looking after your health particularly and you're well.

26:21 I think I was it you talked to me about worry time. Yes, probably that's one of my tips. Yeah, worry time. Okay, this is cast on tips. So she said, like, set aside time to worry, Like, don't worry all day about the thing that you have to deal with, worry about it in the time. So for example, I have to make a I have to call someone back, and it's like then, you know, and it's just an effort. And on the way here, I was like worrying about when I would call her or when I would deal with this, And then I made that decision. Tomorrow at ten o'clock, when I'm free, I will call her. I'm not going to think about it again, you know, have that discussion then, you know, and setting aside that time to worry about it and deal with it is great.

27:05 And I do that a lot. So I write down all the things that I'm worried about, and then you know, seven o'clock tonight, when Arnold's in bed, I'll sit down and I'll get a strategy around that. That's my worry time. Or I'll engage ed and okay, here we go, this is what I'm worried about. Together, we'll get a strategy and there's some comfort there, you know. And then it's not just unproductive worry either. It's problem solving. Yeah, good, and. It's not that whole that anxious and you know, distracting destructions and procrastinating, and you know that come with worry. It's just very clean cut worry. I don't know if that makes sense. It's no, it makes perfect sense.

27:45 And so a big part of it for me is writing it out and moving it out. Exercise and movement for me has always been a way to deal with feeling anxious, feeling stressed, not dealing with the juggle. And it can be something as simple as putting on tiffxone doing one round like five minutes. And I don't look at it as thy Oh look, I'm a fitness expert, you know. I know five minutes isn't going to grow my biceps or lose ten kilos or do anything. But it moves my cells, and it's getting oxygen to the cells, and it's you know, indorphins, and it's all the great things that my body's doing to make change my mindset.

28:26 And I'm a big believer that if you change your physiology by moving, you then change your focus. So then I come out of five minutes going oh, okay, yep, next, So that's a big thing. And also just having that twenty year perspective, like thinking, oh, in twenty years, is this going to affect me, like I know it feels like a big deal right now, and I know that I'm feeling really emotional and invested. But in twenty years, like when I'm at Arnold's graduation, we'll like care about this day. And with in that, I keep reminding myself that I can't pay my bills with other people's opinions of me. So when things, you know, when things come up on social media, when people challenge me, I think, yeah, good, save it. Have that opinion of me whatever I've done, but it's not paying my bills. So I'm going to stay focused on doing what I'm good at, which is training and coaching people who feel good. And you can just think what you think about me.

29:28 Ah, there's a tweetable. I can't pay my bills with other people's opinion of me. That's gold. I love that. I'm going to be speaking that out of my fridge at home. It's so true, right, And in this world we live in, everyone's gone opinion. Every online, everybody's going to opinion. Oh, and it's everything. Everyone's going an opinion on what you do in your work life and stuff like you know, from your family to your friends or you work too much, or why are you doing this? Or why are you doing that? And then everyone has an opinion about you as a mother, and you know, then we're starting to get into the we's arnold going to school and like what sort of education is he going to have? And what are you doing for three year old kinder and that whole judgment you know, the judgy thing of how how you raise your children, which you know, I've just come out of the whole judge thing of how you do the baby baby stuff and naps, routines, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, whatever you choose to do, and now I'm into the judge thing of oh, now you're raising your child and this is what he should be doing and why is it you know, we're entering toilet training and I don't know. So it's it's just I just don't care for people's opinions, really, do you.

30:42 I think it's through that's a that's a really good point too, and I really, I mean that can be it can be a long road to get to that point to let go of caring because we're we are wired to want social acceptance. Yeah, and there's a lot of that judgment criticism. We're why to be fearful and threatened by social rejection social hostility. And the Internet is fabulous for social rejection and social hostility, you know. And so getting this moving to a place where you can work out whose opinions matter and forget the rest is it's liberating.

31:24 It's so liberating and reminding yourself that the big players like Facebook and Instagram, they know that they know we're wired for self acceptance, and then they added the metrics on it it likes and views. Did you read the book? Yeah, exactly. Digital minimalism as the book I was talking about. And I told Tiff, get on that percent, and they're tricking us, and you've got to remember that the way that Facebook. When I was talking about this this morning at a business chicks break, Yes, and the girl next to me doesn't have Facebook, doesn't use Instagram, and I was like, wow, you are like her, like sprare breed in today's world. And I was talking to her about that book as well, because cal Newport famously writes about this stuff but does not have any social media, doesn't use any social media. And he says, you know, when Facebook came out, there was no like button. Yeah, but then they worked out that people are wired to seek social approval, so they added the like bucket and suddenly engagement went up. Everybody wanted to tap in. Everybody needed to get those that little red dot and and the notifications. But bell is read for a reason, tapped into your psychology. This is urgent. I need to look at this. It's so interesting and it's scary.

32:36 Good to be a wake up to it, yeah, but it's good to be aware of it because social media can be great. It can it can bring us together, and it can add support and solace, and you can, you know, meet fake friends. I don't know, but I think we just have to keep it all in perspective, you know. And I'm very good now at sort of separating it. Social media for me is work effectso community is not. That is heart and soul and the community I treat it bit. It's very different for me. But Instagram and my Facebook page that is very much work and I share a lot of myself with people, but I separate it. Yeah, I've deactivated my private Facebook. Okay, yeah, for work too.

33:20 Same, I deactivated it and it's been great. And my real friends, like all my very close friends who have known ten years plus. I just contacted them. You know, if you need me, call me, text me. What's at me? Oh yeah, okay cool. And it's been fine. And I said, don't do any of those group invites on Facebook because just remember tips on Facebook, because I won't know to come and it's you know, they'll call you. Your real friends call people survive. My husband doesn't have Facebook. He's to this day he says, my real friends will call me. They'll find a way. They know I'm not there. Yeah, my husband's not on Instagram and he works in the media. People are like, what are you doing? So, Tia have another thing you and I talked about early on in our very first season together, was this idea of perfectionism. I said that I was a recovering I considered myself to be a recovering perfectionist, and you, at that time said, know that you were still actively perfectionist.

34:14 We have had conversations about your shower screens more than once and your visitor lights. How is that going for you? Well, with a two year old with a crayon in one hand and a veg you might sandwich in the other. I've had to just let. It go a bit because my shower screens are now like really like covered in veggimite and crayon. Like it's just you know, it's not just about cleaning, but it's about work. To you always say, you know, embrace good enough. I have upped my self belief and my confidence and said to myself, Okay, you are really good at what you do, so back yourself and then do what you do and that's good enough. Yeah. I don't have to do it perfectly. But you know, I'm here for a reason.

35:04 I've been employed. I'm standing here. This is my gig and my job. I'm going to do my very best. It's in me now. Everything that's that I need is within me now, and that's good enough. Yeah. And I don't like pine and worry and h I just do it. That is such a great point because what you said is that's the key. Perfectionism is often driven by fear that what I do is not good enough. And if you can wholeheartedly believe that I've got the goods, I'm good at what I do and that's enough, then good enough is good enough. Yeah, exactly. And back in the day, I would prepare forever to do like a live event on the weekend, I went to the Fitness show and I presented and I took one hundred people a time through you know classes, and I just sort of like showed up and like the music started and on.

35:57 The spot did it? Like really, because i know exactly what I need to do, and I've got thirty years experience and it's all backed up and it's. All in my head and in my heart, and I know what. I'm doing and it's like I don't need to make notes like you know. So it's it's. Very empowering and freeing and that's it. That's a good way to be. And of course then what happens is that you get the result at the end and it is good enough people love it. And then that's what works, I think, to rewire your thinking and rewire your brain. You get the positive feedback and go, oh, okay, so that actually was good enough. That's that's all I need to do. Can I go of all of this other worry and struggle and striving and overachieving? Yes?

36:43 And I think it's like not focusing on the perfectionism, but focusing on maintaining the self love and the confidence. So you know a great quote that lives in my family is self love is like good bread. It has to be baked fresh every single day. And some days, you know, I burn the toes. Some days I really do feel like I'm not nailing it. But then most most of the time, I'm pretty happy with that bread. So as long as I know that is strong and sustainable my confidence and my my careful myself, then I know I can do a good job. It's all you really need is belief in yourself. It's cliched, but cliches are true.

37:24 Yeah, Tiff, I just feel like this conversation has been so great because we've really come full circle. We've gone back to all of those early topics and been able to revisit and see how far we've both comes come. And I think the message that I am taking away is that you know, it is a process, Like it's for me, this feels like it's an evolution, and there's ups and there's downs, but we just keep on evolving and growing and learning and taking the lessons and just doing the best we can. And successes isn't It's not linear. You're going to go around in circles because you're learning and the failures of lessons, and you know, I feel like I've been in the washer a bit, but I'm coming out of it. And it's so awesome, Cass, to see you here with such a successful season of Crappy to Happy behind you and doing it and doing your thing and your awesome books.

38:24 If you haven't read Crappy to Happy, thank my goodness, just so gorgeous, and you know, to see you grow and do your thing. Thanks, Tiff. I mean, it has been When we first sat in here together, neither of us had any idea about a podcast, and you were. Just thinking about Crappy to Happy as a brand, as a business. You're like, do you like the name? I'm like, oh my god, Cass. It's incredible. Everything about it is fantastic. And so here we are. So this has been fantastic. It's been so good to have you back. I know that everybody listening to this is going to be super excited to get the update from you, and I know it will be messaging motive motif. So maybe we'll maybe I would. I would love to come back little guest episode next season.

39:09 And I'd just like to say to everyone out there who are juggling, not just mums, who are juggling, but you know you juggle a lot. Just just remember that you can have it all. You can. But as we've demonstrated through me being pregnant series one, then I was in a moon boot with a broken ankle in series two, and now I'm back here now. But I'm feeling pretty good right now. You just got to remember you can have it all, but not all at once. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great tip. Tiff. Thank you so much, Thank you, Ken. It's been a pleasure, No. A huge pleasure. Thank you, it's been an honor. Actually, how good was it having Tiff back in the studio.

39:55 I love that woman so much. And if you want to learn more about Tiff, she's all over the You can join her online fitness program tfxo dot com, catch here on our socials, or just generally admire all the amazing things that she is doing in the world. In the next episode, we'll be talking to Mark Manson, author of two international best selling books, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck and his latest Everything Is Fucked, a book about hope. Crappy to Happy is presented by Cash Dunn, produced by Davis Lenski, Audio production by Darcy Thompson Listener