Dec. 26, 2022

Managing Emotional Eating with Tiff Hall

Managing Emotional Eating with Tiff Hall
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Managing Emotional Eating with Tiff Hall
Managing Emotional Eating with Tiff Hall
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Season 8 Physical Health

One of the most common questions Cass receives is how to manage emotional eating. In this episode, Cass in joined by Tiff Hall to unpack the psychology behind emotional eating and how you can better manage this behaviour.Connect with Cass:www.crappytohappypod.comhello@crappytohappypod.com 
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Transcript
WEBVTT

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A listener production.

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In today's episode, we are throwing it back to where

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it all began. If you are new to Crappy or Happy,

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you may not be aware that in the early days

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I co created the show with my very good friend

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and celebrity fitness trainer Tiffany Hall, and one question that

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both Tiff and I constantly received and still receive is

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how to overcome emotional eating, how to break the pattern

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of emotional eating. So Tiff and I recorded an episode

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together to try to provide some answers to that question.

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And since I know this is still such a hot topic,

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a big issue for so many people, I thought today

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that we might pull this one from the archives, revisit

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that episode from the very early days of Crapy to Happy.

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I would love to know what you think.

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Please do email me and let me know if you

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have any thoughts, if you'd like me to acp band

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on this topic in a future episode. But for now,

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I hope you enjoy this episode with myself and my

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good friend Tiff Hall.

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Now Cass, we have so many members and people.

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We meet daily who really struggle emotional eating.

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It's really common, you know, and I think it's more

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of a problem for some people than others. So I

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guess it's one of those things that happens on a

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bit of a spectrum that you can have the occasional

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emotional you know there, we've all been there. But some

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people it's much more habitual and leads, you know, and

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much more of a problem in terms of their health

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and weight and fitness and their whole self self esteem

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and all of that. So I suppose it's useful to

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start with what are we talking about when we we

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say emotion emotional eating?

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Because when I have ice cream, I feel emotionally.

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So happy, of course.

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Yeah, you know, like, how do we define negative emotional eating?

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Well, I think when we start using the word negative,

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we're talking about the impact that it's having on your life.

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So it doesn't necessarily always have to be a bad thing.

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It's like any of these things, they're not necessarily bad

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in and of themselves. It's only when for you personally,

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you start to identify that this is becoming a problem.

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So when we're talking about emotional eating, essentially what we're

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talking about is any way you might use food to

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make you feel better. So that can manifest in lots

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of different ways. It might be that you you know,

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people call it stress eating or comfort eating if you

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are feeling stressed or lonely or frustrated and you go

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to food for comfort. So I think we all have

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a sense of what that is. It also manifests as

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for example, you know people who really have trouble tolerating

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big emotions, you know, if they're really in emotional pain,

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I want to stuff down feelings, you know that actual.

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Right, feeling suppressing, yeah, numbing, yeah, suppressing your emotions with food.

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And in another way, it's sometimes it can be almost

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like filling up if there's a sense of emptiness.

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Or boredom or boom.

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Yeah, you know, you're sort of filling a hole in

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your life or filling a void with food. So for

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different people will have their own different version of what

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emotional eating means to them. And it can make you

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feel crappy, right, because then if you're emotional eating, you

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can put on weight, you can well feel lower your

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mood absolutely well, First and foremost, whatever it is that's

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making you feel crappy, it's still going to be making

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you feel crappy after you've eaten that type of ice cream,

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so you haven't actually solved the problem, and you know,

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that's what we need to get to later in this episode,

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is you know, how we can find other ways to

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soothe those emotions that don't involve food, because the thing

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about emotional eating is that generally the consequence is.

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That you feel worse guilty and or shame.

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You know, you feel you feel bad in your body,

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you feel bad in your mind, and the problem still

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hasn't gone away. So it's actually like a double triple whammy,

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you know, in terms of the crappiness.

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So can you define for us then, what's the difference

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between like emotional eating and when you know, binge eating

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or people who struggle with that.

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I think that really fundamentally, the difference between emotional eating

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and binge eating is quantity. Okay, so I can be

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like a person might be feeling bored and stressed and

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lonely and go and have a tub of bowl of

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ice cream and feel, you know, feel beat in the

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short term. When we talk about binge eating, the definition

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of the psychological definition of that is eating a much

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greater quantity of food than would normally be a reasonable

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amount of food to eat in one sitting. Usually eating

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in a much shorter space of time, and you would

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reasonably expect and often also a sense of being out

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of control, like not having control over that behavior.

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And is it usually secretive, so that can be often

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done in secret.

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So you know, that's when we start tipping over into

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like a psychological like a binge eating disorder if that's

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happening frequently, which is you know, which is an issue

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that requires professional.

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Help, and that's something too.

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It's important to talk about that as well because a

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lot of people do struggle with it.

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They do, but I think the everyday person who's eating emotionally,

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they you know, there's kind of there's a difference that

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they're on a spectrum again, but there is a fundamental

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sort of difference between just having the occasional you know,

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stress snack and a chocolate bar and really eating large

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quantities of food in the short space of time.

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And the emotional eating can really set you back if

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you have fitness or weight loss goals or you know,

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even for the processing of these of your emotions, you're

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not learning how to deal with things that worry or

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stress or hurt you.

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Huh No, that's exactly right. There is not It's not

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a healthy way to cope. And also what we know

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is that that it becomes habitual.

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It becomes very habitual for people.

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You know, So when you do a behavior, whether whether

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it's emotional eating, whether it's drinking alcoholic having glass of wine,

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or whether it's you know, getting online and buying yourself

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you know, online shopping. This all things that we do

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kind of compulsively to make ourselves feel better. And I

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put them all in the same category. Any behavior that

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you sort of do compulse compulsively to make yourself feel

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better has the potential to have has got that emotional

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component to it, and has the potential to have negative consequences.

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But what happens is you get that immediate again we're

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back to the dopamine. You get that immediate dopamine hit

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that reward center. It feels good temporarily doesn't help actually

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in the long run, but that feel good hit that

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you get temporarily kind of why that into your brain

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so that the next time you're feeling a bit crappy,

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your brain goes, oh, well, last time, this is what

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I did and I felt better. So you go straight

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to that behavior again. So when we're being mindless, you know,

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not really paying attention. You know, when you're kind of

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all caught up in your head and you're not feeling

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very good, you just you're reacting kind of emotionally or habitually.

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You will kind of go to your default to these

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patterns of behavior which don't necessarily serve you, so they

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become really routine.

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And the emotional eating can make you feel crappy from

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you have that high, the dopamine hit and.

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In sugar there's a crash that's got that effect because.

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It's a physiological crash as well as the mood as well,

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and so you're just feeling so crap.

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Gil and then you get stuck in this Oftentimes people

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will get stuck in this kind of shame cycle. So

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you're feeling really bad, so you do this thing like

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eat a big bunch of whatever it is, you know,

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ice cream or the Timtams or whatever, and then you

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feel so bad about yourself that you almost kind of

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go back back around. Then your own coping strategy is

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to make yourself feel better, is to eat and around

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and around it goes.

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Yeah, And then I've seen a lot with my members

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on two f XO, they go on a huge fitness blitz,

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like they'll go on a long run or a punishment

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sort of exercise thing to sort of like get rid

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of that lady. Yeah, and then they they're not enjoying

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the exercise, then they feel worse, and it's like they

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move into like a starving then stuffing cycle of like exercise.

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Then you know, emotional leading. Then you know it's it's

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can bring on all sorts of problems.

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Yeah, and I think you know that sort of extreme,

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those extremes you know, you're talking about over exercising, compensating,

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trying to even but you know, then there are things

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like even purging, binging, purging that's obviously disorder, laxative use,

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lots of things that people do to then try to negate.

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But what they should be doing is dealing with the emotion,

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not the ideally the habit.

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Yeah they're doing yeah, Yeah.

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Isn't it fascinating how our minds and our bodies work together.

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And in emotional eating, it's not actually about the eating

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at all. It's always no problems. It's about the emotion exactly.

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It's got nothing to do with food.

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And this is fundamentally the difference between it like a

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physical hunger and an emotional hunger, and oftentimes people can't

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tell the difference. They feel like they want food, but

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they're not physically hungry.

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You feel quite urgent, can't it.

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Yeah, And oftentimes with emotional eating, it does feel urgent,

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whereas a physical hunger will come on more gradually and

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it tends to be more kind of in your stomach,

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like you feel a rumbling in your stomach, whereas an

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emotional eating will be very much sort of it's a

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fixation in your mind of you know, focusing on wanting

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to eat something, and it might be a.

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Very specific food that you're.

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Craving, Whereas when you're physically hungry, like you can almost

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eat anything, whereas emotional eating you might tend to reach

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for that thing that makes you personally, you know that

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you identify as a comfort.

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So you could sort of see patterns of foods and

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what you're attracted to and things. I always used to

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say to my contestants on the Biggest Loser who were

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in that position they were morbidly obese because of emotional eating.

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I'd always say, just ask yourself, am I hungry or

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am I hurting like gray? Is it in emotion or

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is it in my stomach? Like you say, rumbling, great,

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So if it is hurting, is that something that just

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comes on as an adult, Like how does that manifest?

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I was just gonna say that's a great question. I

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also often use the question like what are you really craving?

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Like what is it that you really need right now?

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Yeah?

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So, you know, oftentimes some of these patterns start really

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early on in childhood, and I think people get kind

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of really interested in like where did this start and

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try to solve the problem. Is it because my parents?

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You know, oftentimes it does start if food is used

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as a reward in your household, or you get messages

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about food that you have to eat everything on your plate.

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So some of these healthy relationships with food can start

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really early on. And I would say that sometimes it

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might be useful to look into that, but sometimes actually

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we don't.

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I mean, we just need to deal with the problem now.

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Yeah.

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I think some people can get very fixated on needing

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to work out why this is happening and why do

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I do this?

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And I need to understand myself better.

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And actually, as soon as you identify that it's a problem,

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then we just need to we can do things to

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start addressing that and turning it around. But yeah, oftentimes, yeah,

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it's not something necessarily that comes on in adults. So

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though it might, I think sometimes it starts earlier on,

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for sure, and then it develops and it progresses, and

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as I said before, it becomes very habitual, becomes very

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sort of routine.

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Can emotional eating just suddenly come on, like perhaps you've

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had no issue with it in your teen years or anything,

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and then maybe you experience trauma or a difficult work

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colleague and then you find yourself emotional eating.

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Can it just suddenly happen?

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I guess any of these issues, any unhealthy coping strategies,

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can potentially develop at any time in life. So what

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we're really talking about here is not a food issue

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per se. It's a management of emotions issue.

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It is.

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So if there's not you know, you might have never

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had an issue with food, but you may have had

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difficulties with dealing with or processing difficult emotions. You might

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come from a family where you don't deal with emotions,

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or you know. There can be lots of different personal

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backgrounds that people might have. But I guess fundamentally the

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issue is if if I'm not able to manage my

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emotions in a healthy way. Then any of these other

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alternative ways of managing emotions may come into existence and

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may then slowly develop and become more habitual and repetitive.

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Okay, yeah, that makes sense. Well then how do I

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deal with these emotions that can be quite confronting and

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hurt and icky?

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Where do you start? If you think that this is

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an issue for yourself?

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I think one really useful thing is to start by

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keeping a food darry. If you're a person who struggles

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with emotional eating, then I think it can be really

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useful to track. And people find this very tedious, but

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it can be very insightful.

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There's some good apps that do it.

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There are a good but so if you can start

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tracking what you eat and when you eat, and particularly

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how you were feeling at that time, you start to

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see patterns of times of day, of people, of places,

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and of emotions. That's interesting that potentially cause you to

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eat food that you would not normally or food that

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you would prefer not to. Yeah, and I've had clients

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do this and say, perhaps, oh my gosh, every time

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my mom calls there you go, I go for X

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or Y. And it can be a person who's a

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trigger or it can be you know, something from childhood

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that comes up or a memory.

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But isn't that fascinating?

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Yeah, it is, and you start to see those links

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and have those insights. And sometimes people already have a sense.

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Of what they are.

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But so I think you know, first and foremost recognizing

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your own personal kind of weak spots almost you know,

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like what your own personal trigger points are, because they're

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different for everybody. I always say, if we're talking about

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emotional eating, the keyword is emotion. So it's about understanding

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what that emotion is, Like you said, like what's hurting

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or you know, what are you really craving? And then

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it's about coming up with alternative ways to soothe that

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emotion that don't involve food. And there are lots and

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lots of different options, but it needs to start with, well,

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what is actually going on for me right now?

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Because, for example, if.

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It's boredom or you might just want to go and

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do something, read a book or put a movie on

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or something, as opposed to if it's a feeling of loneliness,

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it might be call a friend or go and play

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with your pet or you know, so if you know

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what the emotion is that needs to be soothed, Then

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you much you have a much better chance of adequately

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soothing it because you'll almost like apply the remedy that

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fits them. That fits so food's the wrong sort of

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medication here, Like, that's not going to medicate and make

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you feel better. It's the mindfulness and self care stuff.

300
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Yeah, absolutely, absolutely so.

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I always suggest to people, you know, will come up

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with a whole big when you're feeling calm and relaxed

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and well, you know, like come up with a whole

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big list of things that make you feel good, things

305
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that you find soothing or comforting, and stick them somewhere

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where you can see them coming up.

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After the break, we are going to talk about some

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of those specific things you can do to soothe other

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than using food. You're listening to Crappy are happy with

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Tip and Gas. You're listening to Happy with Tip and Cass.

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We're talking about emotional eating.

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Cas. You mentioned there are some.

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Specific tools that we can use to deal with the

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emotion in the emotional eating.

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What are they?

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By understanding what is the specific emotional need that needs

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to be met, then you have a much better chance

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of knowing what might be helpful to sue that emotion.

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So this is where the food diry comes in. And

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this is where you know, really checking in with yourself

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about what am I really feeling, what's hurting right now?

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What am I actually craving can help you to know

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what might be a really appropriate and suitable response. And

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I think it helps to sit down and write a

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big list of there. So they almost have like a

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repertoire of a little self soothing nice thing, yeah, that

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you can draw on in that moment when your whole

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body and brain is saying all I want is chocolate

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right now, you can actually take a breath and have

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something that you can go to to say, well, what

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else might I need? So you know, for example, if

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you are feeling exhausted, it might be that you just

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need to lie in a warm bath, you know, relax

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do so meditation or relaxation. If you're feeling lonely, you

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might want to call a friend and play with your pet,

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something like that that feels that lonely loneliness kind of neat.

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If you're feeling bored, it might be that you need

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to read a book or listen to the music, or

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take yourself out to a movie or you know again

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like catch up with a friend. So if you know

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what it is that you're feeling, then you can kind

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of have a little arsenal of tools that you can

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draw on, you know, and there are lots of them.

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Go for a walk, have a warm shower, you know,

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diffuse some essential oils.

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Endless, yeah, endless, so many.

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And I find that a lot of our members talk

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about the emotional eating late at night, you get stuck

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in your head, and sometimes they might be on Facebook

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and it might trigger something because social media can be

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quite triggering in terms of fear of missing out or

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you know, self esteem, all of those issues. And instead

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of watching the TV, like, perhaps switch off the TV

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if you know it's going to bring on boredom and

355
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emotional eating, and take up something else, like one of

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my members suggested, you know, learn a bit of sign language,

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or learn how to knit, start an instrument. I mean,

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there's so much you can do, or just relax creating.

359
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You just read a book, yeah, absolutely, pick through some

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magazines I mean yeah, or.

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Go to bed, yeah, and get some proper sleep.

362
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And that is that is so important, isn't it Just

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an early bed can Yeah?

364
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And so that is actually another like I think managing

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stress generally, if you know that you're a stress eater,

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and we hear that all the time, Oh this is

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my biggest problem.

368
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I'm a stress eater. Well, don't let yourself get too stressed.

369
00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:46.960
You know, there are things that you can implement into

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your day every day that are self care strategies. Building

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in regular breaks, going out for a walk for fifteen

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minutes at lunchtime is proven.

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To reduce your stress sagnificantly.

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Being in nature or doing something relaxing fifteen minutes out

375
00:19:00.920 --> 00:19:04.359
of your day has a massive positive.

376
00:19:03.960 --> 00:19:07.839
Treat the stress. Yeah, and stress eating is so popular.

377
00:19:08.119 --> 00:19:12.400
And something that I love doing is stretching. Start the

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day with a stretch. You start your day with meditation

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and stretching. For me, I sort of like work it

380
00:19:17.160 --> 00:19:21.200
in there. And stretching is so important because it triggers

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00:19:21.200 --> 00:19:24.640
the parasympathetic nervous system and tell us about that cast

382
00:19:24.720 --> 00:19:28.799
because it's so important because it switches off the stress chemical,

383
00:19:28.839 --> 00:19:29.640
doesn't it in your brain?

384
00:19:29.799 --> 00:19:32.880
Yeah, And when you're stressed, and obviously your cortisol levels

385
00:19:32.920 --> 00:19:35.039
are elevated, that's when you are most likely to reach

386
00:19:35.160 --> 00:19:38.599
for sweet sugary snacks. That's actually a physiological effect on

387
00:19:38.640 --> 00:19:43.359
your body. But so the sympathetic nervous system is the

388
00:19:43.359 --> 00:19:45.599
bit that's responsible for you know, the part of your

389
00:19:45.599 --> 00:19:48.160
brain gets aroused when you're feeling stressed or anxious. It's

390
00:19:48.200 --> 00:19:50.920
that fight or flight center of your brain that releases

391
00:19:50.960 --> 00:19:53.359
this cortisol and the adrenaline and gets you gears you

392
00:19:53.519 --> 00:19:59.880
up for battle. Yes, so just taking some calm, deep,

393
00:20:00.119 --> 00:20:04.319
die fromatic breaths, just for a minute has the effect

394
00:20:04.440 --> 00:20:08.440
of switching on the parasympathetic nervous system, which is actually

395
00:20:08.480 --> 00:20:11.039
like the relaxation response. So it's like telling your brain

396
00:20:11.279 --> 00:20:14.920
stand down, it's all right, calm down the physiological arousal

397
00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:17.440
and actually put yourself more into a relaxed state.

398
00:20:17.920 --> 00:20:18.680
It's fascinating.

399
00:20:18.720 --> 00:20:22.680
You can't have that stress hormone and the relaxation hormone

400
00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:24.759
flooding your system at one time. You got switch one

401
00:20:24.799 --> 00:20:27.599
off and switch the other one on. So can you

402
00:20:27.720 --> 00:20:29.359
take us through diaframatic breathing?

403
00:20:29.400 --> 00:20:29.920
What is that?

404
00:20:30.440 --> 00:20:33.319
So we're talking about taking deep, slow breaths all the

405
00:20:33.319 --> 00:20:36.079
way into your belly. So when you're feeling stressed or anxious,

406
00:20:36.400 --> 00:20:39.200
you tend to shallow breathe, breathe up in your upper chest.

407
00:20:39.240 --> 00:20:40.039
That short breathing.

408
00:20:40.519 --> 00:20:43.839
I see people all the time actually obviously in my practice,

409
00:20:43.960 --> 00:20:46.160
and what I actually get them to do, particularly if

410
00:20:46.160 --> 00:20:48.839
they suffer from anxiety, is I count the number of

411
00:20:48.880 --> 00:20:52.039
breaths that they take per minute, and oftentimes that number

412
00:20:52.119 --> 00:20:55.480
will be sky high, like eighteen twenty even thirty thirty

413
00:20:55.480 --> 00:20:57.680
three breaths per minute, so you can imagine how short

414
00:20:57.720 --> 00:21:00.440
and shallow that breathing is. So then I them to

415
00:21:00.599 --> 00:21:04.440
just breathe in, like almost even just for the count

416
00:21:04.440 --> 00:21:06.160
of three, all the way to your belly, so you

417
00:21:06.200 --> 00:21:11.839
feel your belly rise and then breathe out. Yeah, So

418
00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:15.920
just breathing all the way in and all the way

419
00:21:15.920 --> 00:21:20.640
out its it comes to you instantly. And how simple

420
00:21:20.720 --> 00:21:23.599
is breathing and doing that for one minute? I find

421
00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:25.480
I will actually get people to do it just for

422
00:21:25.519 --> 00:21:27.599
one minute, and then go back and count their natural

423
00:21:27.640 --> 00:21:30.480
breaths again, and it comes right down. It actually has

424
00:21:30.480 --> 00:21:34.640
the effect of right after one minute, slowing their breathing

425
00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:35.799
right down.

426
00:21:36.279 --> 00:21:38.000
So turning it turning it around.

427
00:21:38.640 --> 00:21:41.920
It doesn't it doesn't necessarily drop it all the way

428
00:21:41.960 --> 00:21:44.839
to a really very calm state, but it certainly will

429
00:21:44.960 --> 00:21:45.799
make a big difference.

430
00:21:45.880 --> 00:21:49.400
And those deep breaths are chemically changing your body.

431
00:21:49.400 --> 00:21:49.960
Absolutely.

432
00:21:50.519 --> 00:21:52.759
Yeah, So if you're listening right now, you might even

433
00:21:52.799 --> 00:21:56.720
want to just pause this episode and do that for

434
00:21:56.799 --> 00:21:59.640
one minute. And what I will usually ask people to

435
00:21:59.640 --> 00:22:01.799
do is to get a watch with a second hand

436
00:22:01.880 --> 00:22:04.240
and actually watch the count in.

437
00:22:04.279 --> 00:22:06.319
For three and out for three.

438
00:22:06.480 --> 00:22:09.119
This is particularly for people who are overbreathing, so that

439
00:22:09.240 --> 00:22:12.880
gives you ten breaths per minute. Obviously in for three

440
00:22:13.000 --> 00:22:15.400
and out for three is six seconds, so that's ten

441
00:22:15.440 --> 00:22:18.440
breadths per minute, which is a really nice, comfortable, calm

442
00:22:18.519 --> 00:22:19.839
breathing space.

443
00:22:20.440 --> 00:22:23.839
So yeah, welcome to try that. To just press pause.

444
00:22:23.599 --> 00:22:25.960
And pauses now spend a minute the only time we'll

445
00:22:25.960 --> 00:22:28.119
say it, but pause it and come back. One of

446
00:22:28.119 --> 00:22:32.000
the ways I find is really effective in helping people

447
00:22:32.039 --> 00:22:34.799
to deal with emotional eating. I'm not a psychologist from

448
00:22:34.799 --> 00:22:37.799
a trainer. It comes from meal preps. So if you

449
00:22:38.400 --> 00:22:43.680
prep some snacks and some healthy food on the weekend, say,

450
00:22:43.720 --> 00:22:46.480
and it's in the fridge, it's there. When you feel

451
00:22:46.599 --> 00:22:51.319
that emotional eating is coming on, you just go and

452
00:22:51.359 --> 00:22:54.279
you have the healthy food in the fridge, it's already there.

453
00:22:54.720 --> 00:22:58.000
I call it like an SOS meal, like it's urgent

454
00:22:59.200 --> 00:23:03.960
it's a safety and if you're really craving that sugar

455
00:23:03.960 --> 00:23:06.799
because you're stressed, you just go, Okay, my sos meal

456
00:23:07.079 --> 00:23:10.759
is a beautiful, you know, soup that I've got frozen

457
00:23:10.759 --> 00:23:11.279
in the freezer.

458
00:23:11.319 --> 00:23:12.839
I'm just gonna pull it out. I'm just gonna eat

459
00:23:12.839 --> 00:23:13.480
it and deal with it.

460
00:23:13.519 --> 00:23:17.200
So the physiological hunger is gone and you know it's emotional.

461
00:23:17.799 --> 00:23:19.200
Is that helpful? Caps Yeah.

462
00:23:19.279 --> 00:23:21.480
I think the more that you can obviously remove the

463
00:23:21.720 --> 00:23:25.160
offending food items and have healthy options on hand, that's

464
00:23:25.240 --> 00:23:28.519
obviously going to remove the temptation for people. So having

465
00:23:28.599 --> 00:23:31.720
things that are quick and easy to grab. I think

466
00:23:31.799 --> 00:23:34.720
maybe you know, when you say, if I'm really craving

467
00:23:34.759 --> 00:23:37.279
something sweet, then maybe what I'm more inclined to reach

468
00:23:37.319 --> 00:23:40.480
for is some fruit or some yogurt, not so much

469
00:23:40.519 --> 00:23:42.839
as soup, but you know, so they could be just

470
00:23:42.880 --> 00:23:45.599
having healthy options that might satisfy that craving.

471
00:23:45.599 --> 00:23:46.119
And there are.

472
00:23:46.079 --> 00:23:49.680
Healthy, healthy ways to cook sugar, you know, sweet things

473
00:23:49.720 --> 00:23:53.359
absolutely that you can have in the house that just

474
00:23:53.440 --> 00:23:56.640
moves your way from doing damage with something you know,

475
00:23:56.880 --> 00:24:00.759
quite menacing, like well I scream or yeah, leaders of

476
00:24:00.799 --> 00:24:01.640
ice cream or whatever.

477
00:24:01.759 --> 00:24:04.079
Not that ice cream in itself is bad it's not.

478
00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:07.920
So it's really an individual thing about a person identifying

479
00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:10.559
that it's become a problem for them. I would also,

480
00:24:10.839 --> 00:24:12.680
I think it's really important when we start talking about

481
00:24:12.720 --> 00:24:14.440
topics like this, and I'll come back to this over

482
00:24:14.480 --> 00:24:17.119
and over. It's that self compassion because the more that

483
00:24:17.160 --> 00:24:19.480
people get self critical and beat themselves up, the more

484
00:24:19.559 --> 00:24:21.839
likely they are to maintain this behavior and get stuck

485
00:24:21.880 --> 00:24:25.119
in that vicious site. So it has to come back

486
00:24:25.160 --> 00:24:29.119
to self compassion, being kind to yourself. It's not the

487
00:24:29.119 --> 00:24:31.000
worst thing in the world. You know, I'm not a

488
00:24:31.000 --> 00:24:35.480
bad person. Everybody has, you know something. Everybody's got their vices,

489
00:24:35.680 --> 00:24:38.519
you know, we all do, and that's okay, but you know,

490
00:24:38.599 --> 00:24:41.559
and learning from a setback. So if I set out

491
00:24:41.599 --> 00:24:45.559
to to, you know, try to curb this emotional eating

492
00:24:45.599 --> 00:24:48.599
habit that I know that i've I've got, then occasionally

493
00:24:48.640 --> 00:24:50.160
there's going to be a setback and that it's okay.

494
00:24:50.160 --> 00:24:51.759
But if I can learn from it, and if I

495
00:24:51.759 --> 00:24:54.160
can recognize, oh, okay, so that was a trigger and

496
00:24:54.279 --> 00:24:55.920
maybe I could have been a bit more prepared for

497
00:24:56.000 --> 00:24:58.400
that one, and then that's going to help me in

498
00:24:58.440 --> 00:25:00.799
the future, as opposed to going in to that straight

499
00:25:00.839 --> 00:25:04.119
into that cycle of what is wrong with me? I

500
00:25:04.160 --> 00:25:07.279
can never get it right, I'm hopeless. And this is

501
00:25:07.319 --> 00:25:09.720
this kind of self talk that we know goes on.

502
00:25:09.799 --> 00:25:12.920
We've talked about the inner critic. This is the kind

503
00:25:12.920 --> 00:25:15.920
of stuff that goes on that just creates more bad feelings,

504
00:25:15.960 --> 00:25:18.880
more guilt, and more of the same behavior.

505
00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:20.839
And we're not saying that treats are bad. We are

506
00:25:20.880 --> 00:25:23.680
talking about emotional eating here, so you know it's not

507
00:25:23.759 --> 00:25:25.559
bad to go out and have an ice cream and

508
00:25:25.599 --> 00:25:28.759
a treat whatever. We're talking about using that ice cream

509
00:25:28.759 --> 00:25:32.759
to deal with emotion. So I guess, yeah, it does

510
00:25:32.799 --> 00:25:34.200
come back to the self compassion.

511
00:25:34.359 --> 00:25:37.000
It does. And is that more of your mindful nurses?

512
00:25:37.400 --> 00:25:40.119
Absolutely, yes, it all comes back to mindfulness.

513
00:25:40.279 --> 00:25:41.440
It's just amazing.

514
00:25:41.559 --> 00:25:44.000
We love it, listen, we love it so fundamentally, what

515
00:25:44.000 --> 00:25:45.759
we're talking about here, all of this that we've been

516
00:25:45.759 --> 00:25:49.480
talking about so far, is this idea that there is

517
00:25:49.559 --> 00:25:52.079
a lack of a capacity for one of a bit

518
00:25:52.119 --> 00:25:55.880
of a term to manage strong emotions or a fear

519
00:25:55.920 --> 00:25:59.480
of being overwhelmed by strong emotions. So people, particularly who

520
00:25:59.480 --> 00:26:03.039
are like surprise dressing big emotions, can be really fearful

521
00:26:03.200 --> 00:26:08.640
of being overwhelmed. So mindfulness practice is about learning to

522
00:26:08.759 --> 00:26:12.160
sit with your feelings, like learning to sit with your

523
00:26:12.160 --> 00:26:14.759
thoughts and feelings and not be not have to run

524
00:26:14.799 --> 00:26:16.839
away from them, not have to suppress them or push

525
00:26:16.839 --> 00:26:20.759
them aside. And it's cultivating a capacity to tolerate that discomfort.

526
00:26:21.319 --> 00:26:24.319
And when you know that you can tolerate discomfort, you

527
00:26:24.359 --> 00:26:28.319
don't have to force anything out. You can just learn

528
00:26:28.440 --> 00:26:30.240
that it's actually okay. I can see how I can

529
00:26:30.279 --> 00:26:34.359
be angry. Any emotion that's actually fully felt and acknowledged,

530
00:26:35.240 --> 00:26:38.359
you know, felt in your body and given some space,

531
00:26:39.160 --> 00:26:43.720
moves through very quickly. We know this, like emotions move

532
00:26:43.799 --> 00:26:47.680
on themselves very quickly. They what keeps them stuck and

533
00:26:47.720 --> 00:26:49.880
what makes them a problem is the more we try

534
00:26:49.920 --> 00:26:54.079
to resist and avoid and push them away or suppress them,

535
00:26:54.079 --> 00:26:56.799
deny them, you know, all of those things that we do,

536
00:26:57.559 --> 00:27:02.319
and you know with food with othersgies, which actually you know,

537
00:27:02.519 --> 00:27:05.279
perpetuates the problem and makes it worse. So at the

538
00:27:05.319 --> 00:27:06.640
heart of it, what we want to do is to

539
00:27:06.640 --> 00:27:08.640
be able to learn to be able to sit and

540
00:27:08.680 --> 00:27:12.000
to regulate our feelings and to know that that's okay,

541
00:27:12.440 --> 00:27:15.720
all feelings are welcome, and that I can handle that.

542
00:27:15.880 --> 00:27:19.039
And you say that there are no bad feelings, don't

543
00:27:19.079 --> 00:27:21.079
you know? You can't be a human without having all

544
00:27:21.119 --> 00:27:21.400
of them.

545
00:27:21.920 --> 00:27:24.279
And you know it would be lovely to only ever have

546
00:27:24.359 --> 00:27:27.079
the happy, positive feelings.

547
00:27:27.200 --> 00:27:28.279
Very unrealistic.

548
00:27:28.599 --> 00:27:31.200
So part of being a human on this planet is learning,

549
00:27:31.519 --> 00:27:33.880
you know that we can Actually we're okay, We're going

550
00:27:33.920 --> 00:27:37.920
to experience the full range of human emotion. Nothing's inherently

551
00:27:37.920 --> 00:27:41.319
good or bad. It all has its place and its time.

552
00:27:41.640 --> 00:27:44.319
You know, some are less comfortable for sure, but that's

553
00:27:44.319 --> 00:27:46.480
why I say, we're just learning to tolerate some discomfort

554
00:27:46.480 --> 00:27:47.880
and then they'll move on, you know.

555
00:27:48.119 --> 00:27:51.720
Yeah, happy, this is an emotion too. It calms, it goes.

556
00:27:51.759 --> 00:27:54.960
It's not We're not meant to be happy all the time.

557
00:27:55.079 --> 00:27:57.640
Are we part of happiness to me? When we're talking

558
00:27:57.640 --> 00:27:58.559
about crappy to happy?

559
00:27:58.640 --> 00:28:01.160
Yeah, part of happiness is how having a core belief

560
00:28:01.200 --> 00:28:04.519
and inherent understanding that I can deal with anything. Yeah,

561
00:28:04.519 --> 00:28:07.519
Like that's an inner strength, Like come at me, world, Yeah, yeah,

562
00:28:07.720 --> 00:28:08.039
I don't.

563
00:28:08.240 --> 00:28:10.079
I don't have to be afraid of my feelings.

564
00:28:10.200 --> 00:28:13.640
So that makes me feel it's an inner contentment, I suppose,

565
00:28:13.640 --> 00:28:16.200
and a piece and an inner confidence that I can handle.

566
00:28:16.720 --> 00:28:18.119
I guess it's how you look at it.

567
00:28:18.160 --> 00:28:21.480
Like if you're experiencing failure and you feel uncomfortable, if

568
00:28:21.519 --> 00:28:24.119
you sort of look at failure as well, I'm learning

569
00:28:24.119 --> 00:28:26.559
from my mistake and I'm going to be even stronger

570
00:28:26.599 --> 00:28:27.480
from that mistake.

571
00:28:27.759 --> 00:28:29.359
Yeah, and it's a challenge.

572
00:28:29.559 --> 00:28:32.720
Yeah, then it can be positive absolutely, Okay, Yeah, it's

573
00:28:32.720 --> 00:28:33.519
all got its place.

574
00:28:33.599 --> 00:28:34.440
It's very helpful.

575
00:28:34.519 --> 00:28:36.720
So if we just were to grab a cup of tea,

576
00:28:37.079 --> 00:28:41.319
sit there, do some deep difromatic breathing and be aware

577
00:28:41.359 --> 00:28:43.279
of those uncomfortable feelings and sit with it.

578
00:28:44.400 --> 00:28:48.880
Practical practicing meditation again will help to build that because

579
00:28:48.920 --> 00:28:50.880
that's all it is. It's just sitting and noticing what's

580
00:28:50.880 --> 00:28:51.920
there and letting it be there.

581
00:28:52.240 --> 00:28:54.480
It's that simple, and I think that's really helpful.

582
00:28:54.519 --> 00:28:57.240
Cast and dealing with the emotion and the emotional eating,

583
00:28:57.640 --> 00:29:01.920
not having the trigger foods around, not having.

584
00:29:01.759 --> 00:29:04.680
The trigger foods around, but also not demonizing any food

585
00:29:04.720 --> 00:29:06.279
because what we know is that as soon as you

586
00:29:06.319 --> 00:29:08.480
demonize a food, your mind fixates.

587
00:29:08.000 --> 00:29:09.240
On it and it's all it wants.

588
00:29:09.319 --> 00:29:12.319
Yeah, So I think that's really important in this conversation.

589
00:29:12.079 --> 00:29:15.400
Not demonizing the food and not demonizing the emotions as well,

590
00:29:15.440 --> 00:29:17.200
and no bad feeling demonizing yourself.

591
00:29:19.480 --> 00:29:22.519
I hope that you enjoyed that little dip into the archive,

592
00:29:22.680 --> 00:29:25.680
because I know this topic is very pertinent at this

593
00:29:25.799 --> 00:29:28.640
time of year, and if you enjoyed the conversation between

594
00:29:28.720 --> 00:29:30.799
Tip and I, I encourage you to go back and

595
00:29:30.839 --> 00:29:33.400
revisit seasons one and two of the show.

596
00:29:34.039 --> 00:29:36.680
Meanwhile, I will be back in a week's.

597
00:29:36.359 --> 00:29:40.039
Time with another solo episode, but for now, I truly

598
00:29:40.119 --> 00:29:42.680
hope you have a safe and a happy New Year.

599
00:29:47.559 --> 00:29:48.000
Listener