Transcript
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This is Crappy to Happy and I am your host,
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Cas Dunn. I'm a clinical and coaching psychologist. I'm mindfulness
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meditation teacher, and of course, author of the Crappy to
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Happy books. In this show, I bring you conversations with interesting, inspiring,
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intelligent people who are experts in their field and who
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have something of value to share that will help you
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feel less crappy and more happy. Welcome to another solo
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episode of Crappy to Happy. This week, I've got something
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a little different for you this week. I would like
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to teach you one of my favorite meditation practices. But
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before I do that, let me tell you why I
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have been inspired to share this with you this week,
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and then I will tell you a little about why
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this particular practice is very very good for you. So
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that if you've already decided you're going to skip this
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episode because you're not a meditator, you're not into this,
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then let me tell you all of the reasons why
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this one is one well worth trying. All of the
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benefits to you emotionally, psychologically, even physically that might compel
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you to give it a go. So I don't think
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I am the only one who feels like everything feels
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a little bit dark. Lately. There has been a lot
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of bad news. There's been a lot of tension in Australia. Obviously,
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there has been the Voice referendum. The result of that
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maybe went your way, maybe it did not. I know
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for many people it did not, and that was devastating
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for a lot of people. But even regardless of the result,
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what it appeared to do, and I'm a long way
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away from Australia at the moment, but from what I heard,
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it was a really really divisive, really kind of awful
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time in Australia. A lot of the commentary, the conversation,
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the ad campaigns that were running, really, as these things
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tend to do, just brought out the worst in people
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and really did the job of dividing people well and
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truly really polarizing people and having people do the thing
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they do, which is to kind of firmly dig their
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heels into one camp and to make kind of fairly
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broad sweeping generalizations about the other, which is exactly the
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topic that I want to talk to you about today.
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At a far far more horrifying, devastating level, there is
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the Israel Palestine situation, and I don't want to go
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into the details of any of these actual conflicts. I
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don't think we need to hear more of that. It's
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everywhere we turn. But what I do want to point
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out this week, I guess and the reason why I
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want to share with you this particular meditation is because
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what we're seeing here in action is this concept of
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in psychology what we call other ring, so other ring
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as in other ing, make it a verb. It's essentially
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like the in group out group effect in psychology, where
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we consider ourselves to be a part of one group,
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the good group, the right group, and we take another
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group and we consider them to be the other. It
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is this very clear delineation. It is them versus us.
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When we talk about other ring, we're taking another group.
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It could be a different racial group, religious group, different nationality,
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could be a different bloody football team. We take this
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other group and we attribute to them a whole lot
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of negative characteristics and qualities. We consider ourselves to be
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on the right side. These are the wrong side. There's
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often a lot of fear involved. I saw a bit
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of this during the Voice referendum, where I saw some
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of the NO commentators and I'm not saying this was
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you if you're a no voter. But I saw people saying,
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we're going to have to pay the rent. They step
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they want to take our land. This is just the
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first step before they take away all of these things
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that we rightly deserve. Basically, they're getting more than what
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they deserve, and I fear that they're going to take
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something from me. That kind of idea we see the
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same with refugees and asylum seekers. They're coming, They're going
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to take the jobs that don't belong here, legals, illegals,
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this kind of terminology. When we go down this path
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of othering a group of people, we essentially dehumanize them.
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We don't consider them to be individual humans with thoughts
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and feelings and complexities. They just belong to this group
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of people we consider to be a threat. They are
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against us. And this happens at all levels and in
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all sorts of different ways, and we all, then, all
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of us, then have these biases that come into play,
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these implicit biases, these unconscious biases that lead to us
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having particular perceptions and judgments of people who belong to
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this other group. We cast them all in the same
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kind of like they're all tired with the same brush.
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I've also seen if you are a no voter, they
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will tell you that all the Yes voters are inner
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city lefties, woke lefties, all the privileged elite. And then
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the No voters they get called racist or bigoted, or uninformed, uneducated,
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all sorts, all sorts, like both sides. Both sides do this.
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What we do in truth in psychology is we consider
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within our own group, in our in group, that there
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is a wide range of variability. We're all different, We've
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all got different thoughts and feelings and opinions, and education
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levels and socioeconomic status and all sorts of things. Whereas
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we consider the other group to be all the same.
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We just put them all in the one basket. We
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could judge them all exactly the same. Now, if you
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think that's not you, I guarantee you. We all do this.
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It's one of the ways that our brain just makes shortcuts.
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It takes all of the complex thinking out of it,
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and it just divides people and it just categorizes and
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labels and we don't have to think about that again.
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This in group outgroup effect has been studied since the
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nineteen sixties. It's very real like I said, we are
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all susceptible to this, and I think this is the
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important thing, right We all need to be aware of
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our own biases. When I did that episode a few
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weeks ago about Russell Brand, I used Russell Brand as
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the example, but it was about conspiracy theories. It was
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about cognitive bias, confirmation bias. Why do we believe the
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things that we do? And this is the same kind
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of thing. We have to raise our own level of
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self awareness of our own biases. We are all guilty
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of this. So back in the sixties that one of
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the classic studies was that they took a whole group
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of school kids schoolboys on school camp who were all
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playing happily together, and they broke them up into groups,
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and then they kept those groups separately for I don't know,
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a week or so, and then they brought all the
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groups back together, and during that week they only socialized
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with their own group. When they all came back together,
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there was this hostility between groups. There had no reason
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to be hostile towards one another, They're all just little
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boys on school camp. But in the intergroup dynamics, the
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favoritism of their own group compared to other groups. It's
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this bonding that happens when you perceive that you are
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with your own group. I guess on the positive side,
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there's this kind of bonding and belonging connection that happens.
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But what it does lead to is this other ring,
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this out group bias, where we don't treat other people
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with the same kind of consideration and thoughtfulness and kindness,
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and we don't give them the benefit of the doubt.
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And there are very real biases in how we think
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about them, the judgments, the qualities, the motivations that we
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attribute to them, whether those people we consider to be
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in our group or out of our group. And I
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want to give you a couple of examples just to
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demonstrate this, and then I'm going to tell you about
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the meditation, and you'll understand why I hope that I
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have chosen to focus on this this week now. In
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recent history, I don't need to give you examples. You
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know what the examples are, whether you were supportive or
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not supportive of vaccinations or lockdowns, whether you were a
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Trump supporter or not. You know your position about asylum seekers,
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or whether stopping the votes was a really good thing
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or not. Just so many really highly emotive issues that
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have played out this last few years. And I'm sure
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that it's not only recent history. I'm sure this has
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been going on forever. These are just the ones that
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I can think of. I mean, we don't often have
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a global pandemic, and that kind of situation is bound
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to have people coming down with strong opinions on either
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side of whatever decisions need to be made to get
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through a situation like that. But this in group outgroup bias.
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For example, they've even done fMRI studies that show that
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people's brain activity is different depending on where they are
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hearing a statement by somebody that they's in their in
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group or in their outgroup. So, for example, during the
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two thousand and four US presidential election, they took Democrat
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voters and Republican voters and they read to them a
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statement something like this politician was going to lower taxes,
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and they told them that that statement was made by
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either their particular candidate or the opposing candidate. But then
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what they did was they showed them some more evidence
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or a statement that indicated that that had not happened,
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that taxes had not been lowered again. So what was
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their response based on whether this was their own candidate
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going back on their promise or the other candidate, and
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then they gave like a mitigating kind of a statement.
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They basically came up with a reason. So, for example,
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they said, oh, well, what happened was that it turned
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out that there was not enough room in the budget
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to lower taxes as they had wanted to, And how
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did they respond to that? And again this was brain
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studies and activity in the brain and different aspects of
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the brain that activated during particular cognitive processes. And what
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those images demonstrated was that these people had were more
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likely to be forgiving of the political candidate who went
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back on their promise. They're more likely to find that acceptable,
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and they were much more likely to accept their excuse
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about why that had happened than if it was the
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opposing candidate exactly the same statement, exactly the same situation,
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exactly the same reason, much more accepting and supportive of
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their own candidate than the other. This is bias. Another
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one is when they get like two groups of football
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fans watching a game. One team makes i don't know,
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seventy five errors, the other team makes twenty five errors,
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But then they ask them afterwards how many errors did
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each team make And again they will say there were
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many more errors made by the opposing team than by
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their own team. They honestly, the researchers who do these
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studies say it is as if these people are watching
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a different game. Their feedback, what they report about what
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they see on the field is completely different depending on
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which team they're supporting. This is our natural human tendency.
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We all do this, so none of us is exempt
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from this right. So I'm just highlighting that we all
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have this default. I guess if you're a person who
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is interested, if you are a person who has an
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opinion about any of these things, if you are watching
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events in the world, and if you're getting annoyed and
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frustrated and angry and irritated and disappointed about the things
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that are going on in the world, and if you
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feel angry about groups of people behaving in ways that
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you don't understand and you cannot get through to them,
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and they seem to be clueless, lacking in compassion or
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intelligence or rationality or reasonableness. This drives wedges between people,
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and it also increases our own stress level and our
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own anxiety. It affects our mood, It affects our physical health.
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If we're around this kind of stress, it impacts the
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ability we have to actually connect and relate to people.
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We pick up one little fact about a person and
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we immediately pigeonhole that person and we don't want to
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be connected with them anymore. We don't want to know
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any more about them because we've already decided exactly the
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kind of person they are based on one little fact,
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and that's what happens. I would say though, that while
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this in group out group bias has been proven, I
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mean they've proven that even just arbitrarily assigning you to
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a group, your group are your group, be immediately you
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will favor the people in your group over the people
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in the other group. They've proven this time and time again.
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You will make more allowances, you attribute more positive qualities,
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you attribute more positive intentions to the people in your
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own group versus people in another group. But it is
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heavily fueled by politicians and the media, and I think
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that that was probably very clear, particularly in Australia with
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the Voice referendum. I think I wasn't there for it,
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but from what I have heard, a lot of the media,
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you know, reporting a lot of the campaigning was really
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designed to fuel this division, and so we might. We
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naturally have fears, we naturally have anxieties, we naturally feel
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uncertain about what we don't know about. I talked about
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this when I talked about conspiracy theories. We seek to
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have knowledge, we seek to have control, We seek to
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have certainty where we lack certainty, and if those things
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aren't present, then we are more likely to go down
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this path of other ring, kind of huddling with our tribe.
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Who we feel is in our group, who's on our side,