Nov. 29, 2020

Owning your truth with Layne Beachley

Owning your truth with Layne Beachley
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Owning your truth with Layne Beachley
Owning your truth with Layne Beachley
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Season 6 Mindset Self-Confidence Creativity & Self-Expression Positive Psychology

Cass Dunn talks to Aussie surfing champion Layne Beachley about her extraordinary achievements in and out of the water and the emotional struggles she had to overcome before she could truly enjoy success and experience real happiness. Layne’s traumatic childhood experiences left scars that took many years and deep inner work to heal and she now generously shares what she’s learned so that others can own their own truth.Connect with Cass:www.crappytohappypod.comhello@crappytohappypod.com www.instagram.com/crappytohappypodwww.tiktok.com/@crappytohappypodJoin the free 7-day Happiness Challenge:www.cassdunn.com/happiness

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Transcript
WEBVTT

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A listener production.

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Hi, you're listening to Crappy to Happy. I'm your host,

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Cas Dunn. I'm a clinical and coaching psychologist, a mindfulness

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meditation teacher, and author of the Crappy to Happy books.

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In this series, we talk about all the things that

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might be making you feel crappy, and she had tools

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and tips to help you overcome them. In each episode,

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I chat with interesting, inspiring, intelligent people who are experts

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in their field. And my hope is that you take

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something away from these conversations that helps you feel a

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little bit.

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Less crappy and more happy.

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Today, I am thrilled to bring you a conversation with Ozzie.

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Surfing legend Lane Beachley Blaine has achieved extraordinary and groundbreaking

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success in her chosen sport, amassing a total of eight

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world championship titles. She's also been a force for positive

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change in the world with her charities and ambassador positions,

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allowing her to channel her boundless energy into a variety

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of causes that deeply matter to her in both her

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personal and professional life. Lane's journey hasn't been without its challenges.

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She's learned firsthand what it is to be motivated from

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a place of fear and the downsides of that kind

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of motivation and success. Fortunately, she's also learned a lot

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of lessons along the way about how to reconnect with

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love and joy as a source of motivation, the power

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of vulnerability, and the importance of asking for help. Today,

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Lane is generously sharing some of those lessons for our benefit,

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and if you're interested to learn more from Lane about

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how to awaken your own truth and take inspired action

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in your life, She's offering a sneaky discount on her

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online program, which I will share with you at the

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end of the show. Justa heads up that towards the

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end of this episode there is a brief reference to

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sexual assault, so please be mindful if that's a topic

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that might cause you distress. Let's hear from Lane. I mean,

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let's just start with a bit of your background. You

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are I surfing legend in this country and around the world.

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You are six consecutive world titles. The only surfer male

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or female.

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To have won six consecutive world titles.

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Went back in one of seventh and I didn't realize

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until recently went back again just a couple of years

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ago and won the World Masters championships. So I guess

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my first question for our listeners is where do you

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find that motivation? What motivates you to push yourself to

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those levels of success.

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That's a very good question, and it comes down to

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my intrinsic motivation.

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You know.

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I don't do it for external validation or to win

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more awards and more trophies, even though that's a great

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result and a byproduct of it.

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But I do it whole highly.

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Because I want to do it and because I'm willing

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to do the work to generate the results I expect

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of myself.

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And I love to challenge myself.

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I love to step outside of my comfort zone, and

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I expand on my comfort zone by doing things that

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make me uncomfortable.

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Yeah.

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Well that's a really interesting answer.

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I was going to ask you, is this something that

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you feel like you were born with? Like, is this

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something that is intrinsic to you or is it something

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that you have learned or developed over time.

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Definitely something I've learned and developed over time.

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I mean I was probably born with a fighting.

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Spirit, or maybe I even developed that when.

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I was in the humidic group for six weeks fighting

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for my life off because I was a premature baby,

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and I feel that that's probably where my fighting spirit

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emanated from. However, I was able to channel that into

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becoming a world champion surfer and use it to my advantage.

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The reason I retired from the pro tour was because

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I didn't really want to do the work anymore. Like

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I wasn't willing to do the training, and I wasn't

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willing to deal with the expectations and all of the

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stuff that comes with being a professional athlete.

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I just wasn't ready to step up and continue to

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do that. So that's why I walked away.

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However, to win the Masters World Championship, it was just

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something that seemed like a bit of fun and an

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opportunity to catch out with all my friends and peers and.

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See a part of the world I've never been to.

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And I must have only put maybe three days of

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training into that. Yeah, but then I have a trophy

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room full of a reminder of what I've endured and

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how I've succeeded. And you know, experience is a wonderful

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platform to resort back to and rely on in times

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when you really need it.

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I find that really interesting when you say I have

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a trophy room.

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Do you mean so I have all of this evidence

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that I can do this. I've got this and I

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don't need to stress myself about this.

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Yes, yes, we have a trophy room, and it's a

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pool room.

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There's a pool table in there, and there's just well

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there's trophies everywhere, and then there's framed records in excess

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records all around as well. So there's a lot of

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memorability in this room.

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But yes, that sounds like a great room.

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It's a great room.

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And there's a bar, a very well equipped bar, an allowance. Yes,

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it's all about balance, a lot of shot glasses, and

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it's a wonderful environment to walk into. I often say

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that if I'm ever having a self pity party, for one,

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I walk into that environment and just go, you know what,

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I've done pretty good. I've lived a great life and

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I've had some amazing experiences, and it's a reminder of

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all the things that I have achieved, because it's just

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as easy to block out all the crappy stuff as

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it is to remember all the happy stuff, and that

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for me going in there, it's a reminder of both,

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but of the results I can produce when I really

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put my heart and soul into something and dedicate myself

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to achieving something.

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Whenever I talk to people like you who have achieved

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success at such a high level, I always want to

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ask you, know, we all have these self doubts and

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fears and I'm not good enough, and there's always somebody

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to compare ourselves to, somebody who's doing better. I'm always

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interested to know do you or have you experienced those

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kinds of fears and self doubts, and then how do

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you turn that around and overcome them?

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Absolutely, and I still experience those fears and self doubts.

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I reflect back on different periods of my career and

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think about when I first joined the pro Tour.

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I felt immediately inadequate.

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And unprofessional because I looked at the fitness and the

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health of my peers and my counterparts, and I thought, wow,

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I'm never going to measure up to that. So that

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comparison immediately led to a sense of inadequacy. And so

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I've noticed over my life that the one thing that

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makes me doubt myself is comparison. If I'm comparing myself

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to somebody else, I'm comparing myself to a future version

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of myself or a historical version of myself. I'm not

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going to be enough in the present moment. And if

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I'm doing that, it's also a trigger or a I

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guess triggers the right word here. It's a trigger to

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me to go, Okay, something's wrong because I'm either when

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I'm confident and when I feel when I'm centered in myself,

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I'm not looking outside of myself for validation. I'm very

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congruent with where I'm at and who i am. I've

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always lived a life according to my values, and except

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for the times when I've compromised them and made some

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really big mistakes and.

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Live to regret them.

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But ultimately, when I'm very centered and very balanced, then

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I'm not comparing myself. But the minute that I start

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to compare myself and then start to feel that sense

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of inaccuracy, that's a trigger to me go, Okay, something's

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going wrong here. So you're either worn out, or you're

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going too hard, or you're not taking care of.

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Yourself, you're not getting enough sleep.

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That's the opportunity for me to then put the mirror

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back on myself and ask myself what's leading to this.

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Yeah, that's a great level of self awareness to have

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to be able to notice that, like you say, it's

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like a queue.

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Yes, that's the word, thank you.

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To tell yourself that, yeah, I've got to come back

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and recenter and work out where the problem is so

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that I can take steps.

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Yes, I didn't have that sense of self awareness in

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the early years of my professional career. You know, the

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first probably seven years of my professional surfing life, I

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certainly didn't have that level of awareness. So what that

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turns into is a lay blame game. So therefore it's

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everyone else's fault, and then.

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I get and then I've become very fierce and quite

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driven by my.

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Rejection issue that was deeply ingrained with me from being

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an adoptee. So I then behaved in a way that

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rejected people, or behaved in a way that gave them

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reason to reject me. Either way, it was fueled around

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fear and rejection.

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And then it was everyone else's fault.

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There was the judge's fold and my peers folded, and

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my equipment's folder was everyone else's fault.

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And this sucks and I hate this and this is shit,

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and yeah.

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I became a little misnegative and didn't have the awareness

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to take ownership of it at that stage.

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I'm really glad that you mentioned that, because I was

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going to ask you about some of those early experiences before.

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I do though, when you say when you joined the

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pro surfing circuit, you didn't have that self awareness and

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you were engaged in a lot of comparison.

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How old were you when you joined the pro circuit?

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Eighteen?

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So quite young, very young, very young.

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So understandably those are lessons learned with time and experience.

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It's amazing how bulletproof and knowledgeable you are at eighteen.

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It's a fresh out of high school. I know everything.

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I hit my thirties and realized I know nothing. My goodness,

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I got so much to learn.

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Solene, you had some really difficult early experiences. I wasn't

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aware of the Humidy crib, but I was aware that

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you lost your mum at a very early age six

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when your mom passed away, I was, and then shortly

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after found out that.

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You were adopted.

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Correct.

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Yes, I think it's fair to say we mostly only

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realized appreciate the enormity of things like that when we

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get older. But do you recall how that affected you

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at that age, how you process that as a child.

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Yeah, I recall how I felt.

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I didn't I don't really recall how deeply it affects

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did me at the time. And as you say, when

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we have the wisdom and the experience to reflect back

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on that period and you can determine the catalyst that

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it was. I know when my mom died, it was

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deeply distressing. It was heartbreaking.

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I had nightmares. I cried a lot. I know I

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missed her a lot.

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But I was also a very independent tomboy that relished

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with her freedom to go and play and.

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Experience and fall out of trees and break bones, and

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that never resulted in a lawsuit.

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I was able to just go and play and have fun.

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And so that was my solace as a kid, and

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it's still to this day is my.

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Solace as an adult as well. You know, when I'm.

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Feeling distressed or unhappy or sad, or needing to process

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emotions and fears, the first place I resort to is nature,

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and either the ocean or the bush.

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Primarily it's the ocean.

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Because where I live, so a law of proximity gives

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me the benefit of the doubt.

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When my dad told me I was adopted, it.

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Was a completely different feeling, and that was because I

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was older and I had the brain waves to then

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go from being a narcissist.

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To a victim.

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So what that looked like is when my mom died,

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it wasn't my fault. Well, yeah, no, it wasn't my fault,

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but it was happening to me. But when my dad

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told me I was adopted, it was my fault. And

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what that looks like is that he's telling me, you know,

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I love you and you're my baby girl, and we

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always wanted you. However you don't. You're not a blood relation.

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And the stories I subscribe to in my own mind

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where I've been abandoned, rejected, and I'm undeserving of love.

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So the stories that we tell ourselves then trigger a

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certain emotional response which then feels a behavioral response which

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then determines the results or of you know, you become

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the self fulfilling prophecy of the story that you create.

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Fortunately, the story I created.

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Was hang on, if I'm not deserving of love, I

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have to become a world champion, because then I will

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be deserving of love. And so then I'd field it

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into something very self serving, but became a whole lot

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more than that.

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I was going to ask you, how did these feelings

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have abandoned the manner fest and you've just explained that.

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So obviously some of those experiences can lead to really

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tragic outcomes.

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People can really.

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Spiral into a you know, in a negative into a

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dark place. But you really used it to fuel you to.

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Achieve, absolutely, and that tends to be a common denominator

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through people who have had pretty challenging upbringings.

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You know, they use that as a as a.

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Platform to then propel them towards success, or they use

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it as a hook to hang their shit on and

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just say I'm never going to make it because that's

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what happened to me as a kid. So it tends

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to be two very clear, definitive channels or pathways that

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we choose.

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I think what's also really typical of people who experience

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the sense of abandonment. And for you, it was finding

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out that you're adopted. You know, for other people, there

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are various issues. Even the death of a parent you know,

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will lead to abandonment issues, parents with addiction or even.

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From divorce, et cetera.

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Like, there's lots of ways that this can manifest experience

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abandonment issues, they often become heavily self reliant and find

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a challenging to let people in.

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Well, I guess I'm asking. Is that true for you and.

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How is that something you had to learn to overcome

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to be able to.

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Ask for help?

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Absolutely, yes, all of that is true for me.

287
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I kept everybody at arms distance and I was in control.

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Trust is a big issue.

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And I would only let people in when it served me,

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and so that made it very difficult for me to

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ask for help. And I am a silent sufferer because

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there was so much shame wrapped up in being wrong

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and making mistakes and getting hurt, especially in during myself.

294
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When I think about the result of that behavior, it

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made my journey through life a lot more challenging than

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it needed to be, and it exacerbated the pain and

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suffering because I would stay stuck in.

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It for way too long.

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So, for example, when I had chronic fatigued the second time,

300
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I obviously didn't learn the first time, so the second

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00:14:05.240 --> 00:14:09.159
time was way more debilitating, and I had depression. I

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was in suicidal thoughts with you know, I had a

303
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lot of suicidal tendencies.

304
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I had to sleep fourteen hours a day.

305
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I was just in a really crappy place, and I

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00:14:18.519 --> 00:14:22.039
was a really unhappy, dark, dismal, depressed person, and I

307
00:14:22.080 --> 00:14:23.960
still didn't have the courage to ask for help.

308
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And it wasn't until one.

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Day I actually got scared about the situation I found

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myself in and I finally got dissatisfied with the feeling.

311
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I believe that dissatisfaction is the precursor to change, and

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until you get dissatisfied, you're not going to do anything different.

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So I had.

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Convinced myself that this is okay somehow, and it wasn't

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until I actually stopped and recognized how scared I was.

316
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I got really scared, I got dissatisfied.

317
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And I went, okay, I need to ask for help.

318
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Then the next BIGOTS challenge is knowing who to ask

319
00:14:57.559 --> 00:15:00.799
and having that netw work around you.

320
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After being an.

321
00:15:01.960 --> 00:15:04.879
Adoptee with a rejection case and pushing everyone away, there's

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00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:07.120
very few people that I had the courage to call.

323
00:15:07.799 --> 00:15:12.120
And fortunately a good dear friend of mine called Joanna Griggs,

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who I knew had been through at least glandular fever,

325
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which is the precursor to chronic fatigue.

326
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So I knew she'd been through similar experiences.

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I picked up the phone and rang her and I said,

328
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I'm scared, I need help.

329
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And her response was what took you so long?

330
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Oh?

331
00:15:26.320 --> 00:15:27.480
Really? Yeah?

332
00:15:28.240 --> 00:15:31.679
Other people see things in ourselves that we sometimes take

333
00:15:31.679 --> 00:15:33.159
a little longer to see.

334
00:15:33.000 --> 00:15:35.879
Exactly, but you won't do anything about it until you're ready.

335
00:15:36.440 --> 00:15:39.879
I think it's really interesting too that, as you say,

336
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those feelings of rejection, abandonment, not asking for help, pushing

337
00:15:43.320 --> 00:15:47.279
yourself to attain the achievement almost as a form of

338
00:15:47.480 --> 00:15:48.639
validation and to.

339
00:15:48.600 --> 00:15:49.639
Boost yourself worth.

340
00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:55.159
That's positively reinforcing when you're winning and you're getting the

341
00:15:55.159 --> 00:16:00.240
gold medals, like, there's an upside to that too. There's

342
00:16:00.240 --> 00:16:03.759
obviously all of this other downside which you've just described.

343
00:16:04.200 --> 00:16:08.600
But for you, are you aware in hindsight that that

344
00:16:08.759 --> 00:16:12.120
was partly what kept you from asking for help or

345
00:16:12.159 --> 00:16:14.679
what keep for listeners? You know, it's what keeps a

346
00:16:14.679 --> 00:16:18.000
lot of people from asking for help, because there's reward

347
00:16:18.240 --> 00:16:21.480
to all of that pushing and succeeding and striving.

348
00:16:22.399 --> 00:16:26.639
The question you need to ask yourself is, firstly, what's

349
00:16:26.679 --> 00:16:27.360
wrapped up.

350
00:16:27.240 --> 00:16:28.039
In your success?

351
00:16:28.360 --> 00:16:31.279
Is your sense of self worth wrapped up in your success.

352
00:16:31.799 --> 00:16:34.919
Then secondly, do you believe that success has to be hard?

353
00:16:36.120 --> 00:16:38.240
And I was deeply invested in struggle.

354
00:16:38.759 --> 00:16:39.720
It's the whole reason.

355
00:16:39.519 --> 00:16:42.600
Why I created my academy was to help people detach

356
00:16:42.639 --> 00:16:47.120
from fear and shortcut the struggle. Because yes, I'm viewed

357
00:16:47.240 --> 00:16:49.919
and regarded as one of the most successful athletes.

358
00:16:49.519 --> 00:16:50.120
In the world.

359
00:16:50.240 --> 00:16:53.440
However, I want to ensure that people don't do it

360
00:16:53.480 --> 00:16:57.519
the way I did it because it cost me a lot. Yes,

361
00:16:57.600 --> 00:16:59.799
there's a lot of upside. I've got trophies, and I've

362
00:16:59.799 --> 00:17:04.920
got fame, and I've got success, However at what cost.

363
00:17:05.359 --> 00:17:08.119
And it cost me my quality of health, a lot

364
00:17:08.160 --> 00:17:09.480
of great relationships that.

365
00:17:09.440 --> 00:17:10.559
Are never going to be mended.

366
00:17:11.319 --> 00:17:14.279
It cost me now I'm in constant pain management because

367
00:17:14.400 --> 00:17:16.960
I didn't kind of honor my body. You know, it

368
00:17:16.960 --> 00:17:19.839
cost me a lot as well. And it can be

369
00:17:19.880 --> 00:17:23.480
done differently if you learn to trust in that. But

370
00:17:23.680 --> 00:17:26.559
trust and me really didn't go hand in hand. You know,

371
00:17:27.000 --> 00:17:30.200
adoptees and we do not trust it very easily. I mean,

372
00:17:30.599 --> 00:17:34.480
in my book, in my biography, the woman who I

373
00:17:34.480 --> 00:17:36.359
referred to as my nan who brought me up after

374
00:17:36.440 --> 00:17:39.400
Mum died, she said it took her a good eighteen

375
00:17:39.440 --> 00:17:40.359
months for me to hold.

376
00:17:40.240 --> 00:17:43.400
Her hand in public. And I'm six years of age,

377
00:17:44.079 --> 00:17:44.200
you know.

378
00:17:44.480 --> 00:17:52.079
So, Yeah, I was very strong, willed, stubborn and determined

379
00:17:52.240 --> 00:17:56.599
to do it myself, very independent, and just to prove to.

380
00:17:56.559 --> 00:17:58.839
The world that I can do this. I can do

381
00:17:58.880 --> 00:17:59.599
this on my own.

382
00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:05.839
And nobody achieved anything alone, nobody achieved anything great alone.

383
00:18:05.920 --> 00:18:08.440
And when I start to write down the list of

384
00:18:08.480 --> 00:18:10.160
all the people who have helped me in my life,

385
00:18:10.319 --> 00:18:11.480
it's pages long.

386
00:18:12.039 --> 00:18:14.680
Yeah, when you picked up the phone and you called

387
00:18:14.720 --> 00:18:17.799
Joanna and she said, what took you so long? I'm

388
00:18:17.839 --> 00:18:21.039
curious to know what were the first steps then that

389
00:18:21.119 --> 00:18:25.279
you took towards healing that and learning to do things differently.

390
00:18:26.000 --> 00:18:29.559
The first step I took was to forgive myself for

391
00:18:29.599 --> 00:18:33.880
putting myself in this situation, because by forgiving myself, I'm also.

392
00:18:33.640 --> 00:18:36.839
Taking responsibility for it. And then I.

393
00:18:36.839 --> 00:18:40.160
Recognized that it was time to do things differently, and

394
00:18:40.279 --> 00:18:42.559
I didn't know what to do, so I asked her

395
00:18:42.599 --> 00:18:44.519
for guidance, like who did you see?

396
00:18:44.680 --> 00:18:46.880
Or where do I go? And she told me.

397
00:18:46.839 --> 00:18:49.359
About a practitioner in Manly, which was nice and close

398
00:18:49.359 --> 00:18:52.240
by it to where I was living. And I had

399
00:18:52.279 --> 00:18:55.160
to go on a very strict diet yeast free, wheat free,

400
00:18:55.200 --> 00:18:58.920
sugar free, dairy free, fruit free, alcohol free diet. Yeah,

401
00:18:58.960 --> 00:19:02.960
no red meat, nothing tin can or preserved. Basically it

402
00:19:03.000 --> 00:19:05.000
was a very simple guy. There was no gluten free

403
00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:07.519
menus back in the nineties. I mean, I was referred

404
00:19:07.559 --> 00:19:08.480
to as yuppies.

405
00:19:08.160 --> 00:19:11.319
Disease, so the community had very little empathy for me.

406
00:19:11.400 --> 00:19:13.839
So of course I had very little empathy for myself,

407
00:19:13.880 --> 00:19:16.359
so that I'd beat myself up to beat people to

408
00:19:16.440 --> 00:19:19.640
the punch. And I was quite hard on myself. So

409
00:19:19.720 --> 00:19:24.839
I had to lower my expectations, boost my immune system,

410
00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:29.480
nurture myself, surround myself in love and forgiveness, and just

411
00:19:29.720 --> 00:19:30.279
ride it out.

412
00:19:30.319 --> 00:19:31.079
And I gave.

413
00:19:30.880 --> 00:19:34.079
Myself as much time as I needed to get through it,

414
00:19:34.519 --> 00:19:36.799
and then surround myself with who I referred to as

415
00:19:36.799 --> 00:19:39.759
my honesty bromenas the people who bring the best out

416
00:19:39.759 --> 00:19:42.440
in me, people who were honest with me, but people

417
00:19:42.440 --> 00:19:45.079
who console me in my defeat, celebrating my successes.

418
00:19:45.480 --> 00:19:48.200
But just see the best in me and bring the

419
00:19:48.200 --> 00:19:48.920
best out in me.

420
00:19:49.640 --> 00:19:52.759
And I've heard you say that you won the first

421
00:19:53.200 --> 00:19:58.599
six titles from a place of fear, but the seventh,

422
00:19:58.720 --> 00:20:01.000
You're in a whole different wa place. So is that

423
00:20:01.200 --> 00:20:04.000
the transition where that healing happened. And what was different

424
00:20:04.039 --> 00:20:05.279
in that seventh.

425
00:20:05.240 --> 00:20:08.319
Well, so I actually won five world titles in a

426
00:20:08.519 --> 00:20:10.519
place of fear and two in a place of love,

427
00:20:10.599 --> 00:20:12.319
And so that was world title number one and World

428
00:20:12.319 --> 00:20:14.440
time number seven. I won in a place of love,

429
00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:16.720
and well titled number two to five, I want two

430
00:20:16.720 --> 00:20:20.519
to six. I won in fear. The difference for me was,

431
00:20:20.640 --> 00:20:24.039
I loved the process. I loved the experience. I loved

432
00:20:24.079 --> 00:20:28.000
the learning, I loved the I loved the winning, and

433
00:20:28.039 --> 00:20:28.920
I loved the losing.

434
00:20:29.160 --> 00:20:30.920
And I losing taught me how to win.

435
00:20:31.480 --> 00:20:37.000
And I detached from the outcome and just followed the process,

436
00:20:37.240 --> 00:20:39.640
and therefore there was a lot more joy in it.

437
00:20:40.200 --> 00:20:41.960
And then when I won it, it was effortless.

438
00:20:42.599 --> 00:20:44.920
And when I was sitting in the water, I was

439
00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:48.599
enjoying the challenge, and I just wholeheardly immersed myself in

440
00:20:48.640 --> 00:20:52.359
the whole experience. But from world title number two to six,

441
00:20:52.759 --> 00:20:55.960
I became defined by the experience. I became defined by

442
00:20:56.000 --> 00:20:59.279
my results. And so therefore the euphoria of success was

443
00:20:59.319 --> 00:21:02.759
really high. The depths and darkness and depression of failure

444
00:21:02.880 --> 00:21:05.160
was really, really low, and so that it became this

445
00:21:05.279 --> 00:21:07.440
roller coaster ride. And that's what I wanted to teach

446
00:21:07.480 --> 00:21:10.480
people to avoid riding that roller coaster by taking the

447
00:21:10.519 --> 00:21:13.119
time to self define as opposed to being defined or

448
00:21:13.160 --> 00:21:17.039
dictated to by external circumstances and results. So when I

449
00:21:17.079 --> 00:21:18.680
came back and won the seventh one, I had to

450
00:21:18.680 --> 00:21:21.160
do it the same way when I won my first one.

451
00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:23.519
Because I had to ask myself number two to six.

452
00:21:23.359 --> 00:21:28.119
How sustainable was it? It was completely unsustainable. I had

453
00:21:29.160 --> 00:21:35.880
reoccurring injuries, I'd lost my sponsors, I had strained relationships.

454
00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:38.519
With my peers. You know, it was just hard all

455
00:21:38.640 --> 00:21:39.079
the time.

456
00:21:39.119 --> 00:21:43.240
But that was validating my subconscious belief that success.

457
00:21:42.839 --> 00:21:43.400
Had to be hard.

458
00:21:43.920 --> 00:21:44.799
Isn't that interesting?

459
00:21:44.920 --> 00:21:47.599
So ask yourself, does success have to be hard?

460
00:21:48.680 --> 00:21:50.799
Because I didn't have to look too farther through.

461
00:21:50.759 --> 00:21:51.319
To prove it.

462
00:21:52.079 --> 00:21:56.160
And so, how have you you've achieved all of this sex?

463
00:21:56.359 --> 00:21:57.359
Of six sex?

464
00:21:58.759 --> 00:22:01.880
I wish i'd achieved all this sex, but in my

465
00:22:01.960 --> 00:22:02.799
twenties and thirties.

466
00:22:02.839 --> 00:22:03.200
Definitely.

467
00:22:05.240 --> 00:22:09.599
Let's start that one from the top. So how have

468
00:22:09.640 --> 00:22:10.759
your goals changed?

469
00:22:11.160 --> 00:22:11.480
Now?

470
00:22:12.440 --> 00:22:13.079
Great question.

471
00:22:13.240 --> 00:22:16.799
My goals used to be outcome driven now, they're intrinsically

472
00:22:16.839 --> 00:22:19.119
aligned with how I want to feel. So I don't

473
00:22:19.160 --> 00:22:21.440
set a goal based on what I want to achieve anymore.

474
00:22:21.519 --> 00:22:23.599
I base it on and the same with my decision

475
00:22:23.640 --> 00:22:26.519
making framework. It's all based on how I feel and

476
00:22:26.559 --> 00:22:29.000
how I want to feel, and so that's.

477
00:22:28.799 --> 00:22:31.920
My vision for today. If you think about your values.

478
00:22:31.599 --> 00:22:33.440
As a twenty year old or a thirty year old,

479
00:22:33.599 --> 00:22:35.680
they evolve as you do as a human being, and

480
00:22:35.720 --> 00:22:37.920
so does our vision, and so do our goals for ourselves.

481
00:22:37.960 --> 00:22:40.880
So my goals are really wrapped around my standards.

482
00:22:40.880 --> 00:22:43.240
What standards do I set for myself as far as

483
00:22:43.279 --> 00:22:46.839
my health and my physical wellbeing, my emotional wellbeing, my

484
00:22:46.920 --> 00:22:49.920
mental wellbeing? And then how am I better serving the world,

485
00:22:49.920 --> 00:22:52.519
How am I bringing more knowledge and experience and wisdom

486
00:22:52.559 --> 00:22:53.000
to the world.

487
00:22:53.000 --> 00:22:55.599
How am I helping people be better versions of themselves?

488
00:22:55.720 --> 00:22:58.279
That's where I see it as far as goal setting

489
00:22:58.359 --> 00:22:58.920
is concerned.

490
00:22:59.119 --> 00:23:03.279
There seems to be the theme with people who are

491
00:23:03.359 --> 00:23:06.720
really living their best life that there is this focus

492
00:23:06.759 --> 00:23:10.359
on It shifts very much from being all about me,

493
00:23:10.519 --> 00:23:14.960
as you say, and achievement and success and outwards to

494
00:23:15.000 --> 00:23:18.359
what I can contribute. I guess I'm just opening up

495
00:23:18.400 --> 00:23:20.119
for you to talk about all of the ways that

496
00:23:20.200 --> 00:23:27.039
you now find joy and pride in service and contribution.

497
00:23:28.759 --> 00:23:32.880
Where shall I start, Well, let's start with the first

498
00:23:32.880 --> 00:23:35.400
thing is my academy, a Wake Academy, which is a

499
00:23:35.440 --> 00:23:39.279
center for self empowerment. And I created a course called

500
00:23:39.279 --> 00:23:42.160
Own Your Truth, which is pretty much the forty years

501
00:23:42.160 --> 00:23:44.680
of life lessons all wrapped up and condensed into a

502
00:23:44.720 --> 00:23:48.000
seven round online course for people to help them wake

503
00:23:48.079 --> 00:23:50.440
up and own their shit and trust in love. I

504
00:23:50.480 --> 00:23:53.240
want to help people detach from fear, take control of

505
00:23:53.279 --> 00:23:55.759
their lives, but design a life they love, versus living

506
00:23:55.759 --> 00:23:57.720
one by default, which was what I was doing a

507
00:23:57.720 --> 00:24:00.599
lot throughout my professional career and also back in retirement.

508
00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:03.400
It's amazing, you know, we can learn all these wonderful lessons,

509
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:07.079
but we have to continuously apply them otherwise we waste

510
00:24:07.160 --> 00:24:10.160
the opportunity. And I ebb and flow in and out

511
00:24:10.160 --> 00:24:11.920
of you know, we all teach what we need to learn.

512
00:24:12.039 --> 00:24:14.279
So I know that these.

513
00:24:13.680 --> 00:24:16.759
Kind of discussions are really healthy reflection points for me too.

514
00:24:16.599 --> 00:24:18.160
Going am I really doing that today?

515
00:24:18.440 --> 00:24:21.000
You know, this morning I woke up feeling quite hungover

516
00:24:21.079 --> 00:24:23.839
and dusty, and like, okay, I sabotaged myself last night.

517
00:24:24.200 --> 00:24:26.359
So today I'm going to nurture myself and do things

518
00:24:26.359 --> 00:24:29.680
that make me feel good and making sure that to

519
00:24:29.720 --> 00:24:32.319
contribute to the world, I have to contribute to myself first.

520
00:24:32.759 --> 00:24:35.440
To inspire people, I have to feel inspired as well.

521
00:24:35.480 --> 00:24:38.880
To motivate others, I have to be motivated, so holding

522
00:24:38.920 --> 00:24:41.799
myself accountable to then be able to better serve. So

523
00:24:41.880 --> 00:24:44.160
that's why I'm really proud of the academy. I love

524
00:24:44.279 --> 00:24:48.039
the course material it took me. Basically, COVID was a

525
00:24:48.079 --> 00:24:50.119
blessing in disguise for me because it gave me ten

526
00:24:50.160 --> 00:24:53.920
months to invest myself wholeheartedly into building this course and

527
00:24:54.000 --> 00:24:56.960
recording it and writing it and you know, designing the

528
00:24:56.960 --> 00:25:01.119
workbook and recording the videos and yeah. So it's been

529
00:25:01.160 --> 00:25:03.599
a real passion project that I really wish to share

530
00:25:03.599 --> 00:25:06.319
with the world because I know it's going to positively

531
00:25:06.400 --> 00:25:09.240
enhance people's lives. Because as a keynote speaker, which is

532
00:25:09.240 --> 00:25:12.720
also another way I contribute to the world, I feel

533
00:25:12.880 --> 00:25:16.720
people are wanting more after I leave, you know, I

534
00:25:16.759 --> 00:25:18.160
give them more I can in an hour.

535
00:25:18.279 --> 00:25:21.000
But then this is great follow up work. It's self paced.

536
00:25:21.079 --> 00:25:23.799
You can jump online onto awake Academy dot com, dot

537
00:25:23.839 --> 00:25:25.400
you and just go through the course at your own

538
00:25:25.400 --> 00:25:26.759
pace whenever you feel like it.

539
00:25:26.920 --> 00:25:30.480
So, and it's all about awareness of your.

540
00:25:30.319 --> 00:25:34.000
Feelings, your stories, your limiting beliefs, your strengths, your loves,

541
00:25:34.039 --> 00:25:36.000
your roles that you play in your life, and then

542
00:25:36.039 --> 00:25:38.839
aligning yourself with your dream team, aligning yourself with who

543
00:25:38.920 --> 00:25:41.720
you truly are, and then awakening your spirit and bringing

544
00:25:41.720 --> 00:25:45.200
in more celebration and more play and better health. And yeah,

545
00:25:45.359 --> 00:25:49.480
just creating a life that you love around and awakening.

546
00:25:48.960 --> 00:25:50.960
You to who you truly are and who you truly

547
00:25:50.960 --> 00:25:51.359
want to be.

548
00:25:51.759 --> 00:25:56.400
So that's there are two main ways that I contribute today. Yeah,

549
00:25:56.480 --> 00:25:58.440
and then there's a great movie coming out soon called

550
00:25:58.480 --> 00:26:02.839
Girls Can't Surf, which is like a documentary around women

551
00:26:02.880 --> 00:26:05.559
surfing in the eighties and nineties, and it's a fascinating

552
00:26:05.559 --> 00:26:12.400
snapshot of the chauvinistic, misogynistic and sexism that we encountered.

553
00:26:12.720 --> 00:26:22.359
Through those periods. It's a really great film.

554
00:26:22.880 --> 00:26:26.519
Lane, going back to your personal story, having been adopted,

555
00:26:26.559 --> 00:26:30.160
you did find your mum or she found you when

556
00:26:30.160 --> 00:26:33.880
you're in your twenties. How important was that for you

557
00:26:33.960 --> 00:26:35.519
to reconnect with her.

558
00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:38.279
At the time I didn't think it was that important.

559
00:26:38.640 --> 00:26:41.640
Quite honestly, I applied for my birth certificate when I

560
00:26:41.680 --> 00:26:44.480
was twenty four, and that really gave me some sort

561
00:26:44.480 --> 00:26:46.960
of consolation prize that I went okay. So she was

562
00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:49.079
seventeen when I was born. She was living in sorry

563
00:26:49.160 --> 00:26:51.680
Surrey Hill's in Sydney. So thank god she gave me up.

564
00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:53.799
Otherwise I would have been too far from the beach.

565
00:26:53.880 --> 00:26:56.200
I may have become a tennis player, but surfing is

566
00:26:56.240 --> 00:27:00.079
still my number one passion. And she was.

567
00:27:00.039 --> 00:27:03.799
From Scotland, and so I immediately decided that she was

568
00:27:03.799 --> 00:27:06.039
a backpacker from Scotland that just got caught up in

569
00:27:06.079 --> 00:27:07.680
the wrong crowd and then had to go back to

570
00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:09.200
Scotland after she gave birth to me.

571
00:27:09.279 --> 00:27:11.440
And it wasn't until she.

572
00:27:11.559 --> 00:27:14.759
Found me in nineteen ninety nine, which is I was

573
00:27:14.799 --> 00:27:18.279
twenty seven years of age, that she was able to

574
00:27:18.640 --> 00:27:23.920
clarify the story. And it was a tenuous relationship because

575
00:27:23.960 --> 00:27:26.799
I didn't trust her version of the story and who

576
00:27:26.839 --> 00:27:29.480
am I to judge her version of the story? And

577
00:27:29.519 --> 00:27:33.000
it was and I realized my judgment of others is

578
00:27:33.039 --> 00:27:34.400
what keeps them at arm's length.

579
00:27:34.519 --> 00:27:36.279
You know, it's my fear because we.

580
00:27:36.359 --> 00:27:39.599
Judge what we don't know, and we we judge what

581
00:27:39.640 --> 00:27:42.119
we don't understand, and we fear what we don't know.

582
00:27:42.359 --> 00:27:45.160
So my judgment of fear just kept everybody at arm's

583
00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:47.839
length and kept me in control of when I was

584
00:27:47.880 --> 00:27:51.359
going to allow these connections to occur. When I stopped

585
00:27:51.400 --> 00:27:53.880
judging my mum's story, I was then able to create

586
00:27:53.920 --> 00:27:56.160
a much stronger bond with her. But then at that

587
00:27:56.240 --> 00:27:59.079
point she chose to reject me again, So we always

588
00:27:59.119 --> 00:28:03.759
had this tenue dance with each other. She was living

589
00:28:03.759 --> 00:28:07.480
in America by the time I met her, and she

590
00:28:07.799 --> 00:28:10.640
living in Spakane in Washington State, so I'd see it

591
00:28:10.680 --> 00:28:13.720
maybe once a year. We'd communicate, you know, four or

592
00:28:13.720 --> 00:28:16.079
five times a year, but I would not call it

593
00:28:16.079 --> 00:28:18.920
it was I guess it's a long boat to say

594
00:28:18.960 --> 00:28:22.519
it was a mother daughter relationship. It was quite a Yeah,

595
00:28:22.559 --> 00:28:25.319
it was quite a distant mother daughter relationship. But I

596
00:28:25.680 --> 00:28:29.559
finally allowed myself to call her mum, which took a lot,

597
00:28:29.640 --> 00:28:31.680
because I'd always equated motherhood with loss.

598
00:28:32.039 --> 00:28:36.079
I guess I'm curious to know, was there the word

599
00:28:36.119 --> 00:28:41.200
that people throw around is closure, and how important was

600
00:28:41.200 --> 00:28:44.240
it for you to meet her to find out about,

601
00:28:45.160 --> 00:28:50.079
you know, find out the story to close off that

602
00:28:50.920 --> 00:28:52.000
unknown for you.

603
00:28:53.039 --> 00:28:55.559
Yeah, I think the challenge with adoptees is that the

604
00:28:55.559 --> 00:28:57.559
more you know, the more can of worms it opens.

605
00:28:57.680 --> 00:29:01.160
So it doesn't really provide cult closure at all.

606
00:29:01.279 --> 00:29:04.640
You know, I've since connecting with mum. Yes, it gave

607
00:29:04.680 --> 00:29:07.720
me some didn't really give me closure. It just gave

608
00:29:07.759 --> 00:29:11.160
me some confidence in understanding about who I am and

609
00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:13.200
why I am the way I am, But it certainly

610
00:29:13.279 --> 00:29:18.240
didn't close any mystical loops or mysterious loops. And then

611
00:29:18.319 --> 00:29:22.640
having no recollection or no connection with my biological father

612
00:29:22.759 --> 00:29:25.720
because Mum was raped, so she really didn't want to

613
00:29:25.720 --> 00:29:30.599
connect with my biological father and anytime I mentioned it.

614
00:29:30.480 --> 00:29:32.160
It caused a lot of distress to her.

615
00:29:32.400 --> 00:29:35.799
So and then I've had four or five guys come

616
00:29:35.880 --> 00:29:38.799
forward claiming to be my father since my story has

617
00:29:38.839 --> 00:29:42.160
been released, and I've had three or three or four

618
00:29:42.240 --> 00:29:44.799
DNA tests. Yeah, none of them have checked out to

619
00:29:44.799 --> 00:29:45.359
be my dad.

620
00:29:45.480 --> 00:29:47.759
So how is that for you?

621
00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:48.720
It's bizarre.

622
00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:50.400
I mean it opens up a whole can at worms

623
00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:53.200
as well, So you know, I go through the process

624
00:29:53.240 --> 00:29:54.599
because it's just worth exploring.

625
00:29:54.640 --> 00:29:56.839
If these guys claim to be my dad. Then I'm

626
00:29:56.839 --> 00:30:01.119
willing to be open to the consideration. I'm very pragmatic,

627
00:30:01.200 --> 00:30:01.359
you know.

628
00:30:01.359 --> 00:30:06.720
I don't get too bogged down in it, Otherwise it

629
00:30:06.759 --> 00:30:09.240
can become a little overwhelming. So I just let's just

630
00:30:09.319 --> 00:30:12.279
play it out and see what happens. And deep down

631
00:30:12.319 --> 00:30:13.319
I get a feeling.

632
00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:14.680
That, yeah, I don't think this guy's my dad.

633
00:30:14.680 --> 00:30:18.000
I think he's just written himself into my story, which

634
00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:20.200
has happened a couple of times. So and then I

635
00:30:20.279 --> 00:30:22.359
just stopped connecting with you know, I stopped communicating with

636
00:30:22.400 --> 00:30:29.359
them immediately. But then Mum died two years ago from

637
00:30:29.359 --> 00:30:33.480
a very en cancer at sixty two. And the one

638
00:30:33.559 --> 00:30:37.400
closure I did have the wonderful opportunity.

639
00:30:36.839 --> 00:30:38.519
To experience is that on her deathbed.

640
00:30:38.599 --> 00:30:42.839
So she rang me in my April of twenty eighteen

641
00:30:42.880 --> 00:30:44.640
and said, Li've given me three weeks to live, can

642
00:30:44.680 --> 00:30:45.519
you come say goodbye?

643
00:30:45.880 --> 00:30:47.920
Jumped on a plane the next day, sat on her bedside.

644
00:30:47.920 --> 00:30:49.920
I had a bedside vigil and we.

645
00:30:49.920 --> 00:30:53.200
Had a five minute conversation where we literally forgave each

646
00:30:53.240 --> 00:30:56.319
other for being bitches to each other and not connecting

647
00:30:56.359 --> 00:30:57.920
with each other, and said I love you, and then

648
00:30:57.960 --> 00:30:59.440
she fell asleep and that was it.

649
00:30:59.519 --> 00:31:00.559
She never went up again.

650
00:31:01.160 --> 00:31:03.680
That for me was the closure that I needed, just

651
00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:06.880
to say sorry and thank you and then that's it.

652
00:31:06.920 --> 00:31:11.279
And so whenever I whenever I start feeling sad about

653
00:31:11.680 --> 00:31:13.279
the lost opportunity or.

654
00:31:13.240 --> 00:31:17.960
The lack of connection, or the division that I created,

655
00:31:18.079 --> 00:31:18.880
or the pain.

656
00:31:18.640 --> 00:31:21.519
That I created or caused, I just go back to

657
00:31:21.559 --> 00:31:24.240
that conversation and that reconciles it for me and then

658
00:31:24.279 --> 00:31:27.200
I move on. So I feel for people in COVID,

659
00:31:27.480 --> 00:31:29.359
you know, who haven't had the opportunity to say goodbye,

660
00:31:30.279 --> 00:31:31.880
because that's the closure that you need.

661
00:31:32.599 --> 00:31:36.240
And COVID funerals are I experienced one of those very

662
00:31:36.240 --> 00:31:37.920
early during COVID.

663
00:31:38.079 --> 00:31:38.759
It's a tragic.

664
00:31:38.920 --> 00:31:42.240
Oh really, it's just a sad, sad situation to have

665
00:31:43.400 --> 00:31:46.680
nobody at a funeral and be watching a live stream

666
00:31:46.720 --> 00:31:47.640
with nobody in a room.

667
00:31:47.960 --> 00:31:49.119
My heart breaks for people.

668
00:31:49.839 --> 00:31:53.079
I'm fascinated by the fact that multiple men have lined

669
00:31:53.160 --> 00:31:56.160
up to say, oh, yeah, I raped somebody in the seventies.

670
00:31:56.519 --> 00:31:59.039
Well, they've all claimed that Mum wasn't raped. They're all

671
00:31:59.039 --> 00:32:02.440
claiming that she was Misgierson, that you know, she was

672
00:32:04.240 --> 00:32:08.599
not what she claimed to be. So very complex, it's

673
00:32:08.640 --> 00:32:10.359
a really complex situation.

674
00:32:13.720 --> 00:32:16.640
You said earlier that you have always been a very

675
00:32:16.799 --> 00:32:21.160
values driven person. What are your highest values now?

676
00:32:21.720 --> 00:32:22.240
Right now?

677
00:32:22.400 --> 00:32:26.920
My overarching value is a sense of freedom, but my

678
00:32:27.839 --> 00:32:35.240
driving values are vitality, giving back and being real, authenticity,

679
00:32:36.000 --> 00:32:40.440
and then support. I have to feel supported for me

680
00:32:40.559 --> 00:32:44.839
to have the confidence to do something audacious, such as

681
00:32:44.920 --> 00:32:47.240
build an online academy. Like I was in the car

682
00:32:47.440 --> 00:32:50.319
driving to the agency that was going to help me

683
00:32:50.359 --> 00:32:52.720
build this thing with my business partner, and I was

684
00:32:52.720 --> 00:32:54.880
in tears, going, if this is a.

685
00:32:54.799 --> 00:32:56.599
Struggle, I don't want anything to.

686
00:32:56.559 --> 00:33:00.359
Do with it because I don't wish to go through

687
00:33:00.400 --> 00:33:02.799
what I went through to win six consecutive all titles

688
00:33:02.839 --> 00:33:03.200
like that.

689
00:33:03.839 --> 00:33:04.960
It's just not worth it.

690
00:33:05.240 --> 00:33:07.119
I mean, it's worth it because it's given me a

691
00:33:07.160 --> 00:33:12.000
platform to talk and share my life lessons and ideally

692
00:33:12.079 --> 00:33:18.680
shortcut people's struggles and pains. However, it wasn't completely worth

693
00:33:18.720 --> 00:33:21.960
it because it was just so painful and it's such

694
00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:25.480
a trigger. So now I'm very aware of how much

695
00:33:25.519 --> 00:33:28.519
I rely on others to help me navigate my way

696
00:33:28.559 --> 00:33:29.200
through life.

697
00:33:29.440 --> 00:33:30.720
Yeah, so important.

698
00:33:31.480 --> 00:33:34.839
And I've heard you also say that you surf every day,

699
00:33:34.920 --> 00:33:38.200
and you mentioned earlier that really looking after yourself is

700
00:33:38.839 --> 00:33:42.400
fundamental that's center for you. Apart from surfing every day,

701
00:33:42.400 --> 00:33:46.799
what other habits do you have to keep yourself well

702
00:33:46.839 --> 00:33:47.440
and healthy?

703
00:33:47.799 --> 00:33:49.759
I do yin yoga beside my bed every night.

704
00:33:49.839 --> 00:33:51.960
I have a yoga mat next to my bed, and

705
00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:55.039
I drink a lot of water. I've always got a

706
00:33:55.039 --> 00:33:59.519
water bottle in my hand. I do the fast diet

707
00:34:00.240 --> 00:34:01.240
two oh wow.

708
00:34:01.319 --> 00:34:02.920
And we Kirk.

709
00:34:02.839 --> 00:34:04.920
And I schedule those in weeks in advance, so then

710
00:34:04.960 --> 00:34:09.039
non negotiable days of Mondays and Thursdays, unless, of course,

711
00:34:09.039 --> 00:34:12.840
our schedule somehow sabotages those days. But we you know,

712
00:34:13.119 --> 00:34:15.639
last week, last Friday, Turk's like, okay, what fast days

713
00:34:15.679 --> 00:34:17.480
we do next week? When we scheduled them in and

714
00:34:17.920 --> 00:34:19.880
we're asked out for dinner, sorry it's a fast day,

715
00:34:19.880 --> 00:34:23.599
we can't go. So for us, it's really benefited our

716
00:34:23.639 --> 00:34:25.599
lives and we've been able to bring it into our

717
00:34:25.639 --> 00:34:27.599
lives and become part of our life as opposed to

718
00:34:27.800 --> 00:34:28.880
dominating our life.

719
00:34:29.079 --> 00:34:30.920
And we've been doing it for maybe six and a

720
00:34:30.920 --> 00:34:33.079
half years now. Wow, we really like it.

721
00:34:33.119 --> 00:34:36.039
But when we got on holiday, it's at seven zero

722
00:34:36.360 --> 00:34:41.079
twenty one zero balance balance, Yes, but I.

723
00:34:41.039 --> 00:34:42.719
Love it, and you know, it's like I said, I.

724
00:34:42.679 --> 00:34:45.360
Woke up feeling hungover this morning, and there's no surf,

725
00:34:45.440 --> 00:34:46.920
so I make sure I make the time to at

726
00:34:46.960 --> 00:34:49.039
least get in the water, which is where my hester wet.

727
00:34:49.079 --> 00:34:50.719
I was having a swim this morning.

728
00:34:51.320 --> 00:34:56.000
I prioritize my sleep, you know, I get at least eight,

729
00:34:56.159 --> 00:35:00.159
if not nine, hours of sleep. I was injured for

730
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.320
for two months after falling down the stairs here at

731
00:35:02.320 --> 00:35:04.519
my office and wasn't able to surf and wasn't able

732
00:35:04.519 --> 00:35:07.679
to exercise, and I got dissatisfied after about six weeks.

733
00:35:07.679 --> 00:35:09.599
I went, surely, there's got to be something I can do.

734
00:35:09.679 --> 00:35:12.039
So I created like this six minute workout that I

735
00:35:12.079 --> 00:35:14.719
can do every day. So that's the oga MAT is.

736
00:35:14.719 --> 00:35:16.920
Therefore in the morning for my six minute workout. Because

737
00:35:16.920 --> 00:35:18.559
it's six minutes, no need to skip it.

738
00:35:18.679 --> 00:35:20.719
I can fit that in anytime and it just makes

739
00:35:20.719 --> 00:35:24.639
me feel better. I don't eat I don't eat dairy products.

740
00:35:24.920 --> 00:35:27.719
I haven't eaten red meat for over twenty years. I

741
00:35:27.880 --> 00:35:32.719
maintain eating as much organic and seasonal produce as I

742
00:35:32.760 --> 00:35:33.440
possibly can.

743
00:35:33.519 --> 00:35:35.559
So I just prioritize and nurture myself.

744
00:35:35.599 --> 00:35:37.639
But also I allow myself to fall off the rails

745
00:35:37.679 --> 00:35:39.719
and my husband's looking at bringing out a rose.

746
00:35:39.920 --> 00:35:40.639
So we had to do some.

747
00:35:40.679 --> 00:35:43.440
Rose testing and there was five bottles that we had

748
00:35:43.440 --> 00:35:46.599
to get through yesterday, but fortually drink more.

749
00:35:46.719 --> 00:35:49.559
I mean we tasted them all. Yes, Hey, if you

750
00:35:49.559 --> 00:35:51.199
open up five bottles of wine, you've got drink at

751
00:35:51.239 --> 00:35:52.000
least one of them.

752
00:35:52.599 --> 00:35:57.719
I'm fascinated by that, the five two and how I'd

753
00:35:57.760 --> 00:35:59.880
love to know what the benefits of that are that

754
00:35:59.880 --> 00:36:01.760
you have directly experienced.

755
00:36:01.880 --> 00:36:04.719
Yeah, so at first, I mean I did it for

756
00:36:04.840 --> 00:36:07.599
weight management. I don't really like to lose too much

757
00:36:07.639 --> 00:36:09.639
weight because I'm happy with how my body is. But

758
00:36:09.679 --> 00:36:13.800
it helps me maintain my weight, so if I and

759
00:36:13.840 --> 00:36:16.079
it also prevents me from eating foods.

760
00:36:15.719 --> 00:36:18.199
That aren't a part of my regular diet without guilt.

761
00:36:18.519 --> 00:36:20.159
Because I love hot chips.

762
00:36:20.280 --> 00:36:23.519
I can't deny myself a hot chip, and so I

763
00:36:24.280 --> 00:36:28.239
just I have guilty pleasures and without the guilt, which

764
00:36:28.400 --> 00:36:29.039
what I really.

765
00:36:28.960 --> 00:36:32.440
Love about the five two. It's helped me maintain my weight.

766
00:36:32.920 --> 00:36:36.320
It's helped me maintain all my vitals, you know, so

767
00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:42.360
my blood pressure, my cholesterol, my blood sugars, it gives

768
00:36:42.400 --> 00:36:47.599
my digestive and immune and digestive immune and endocrine systems

769
00:36:47.599 --> 00:36:50.079
all the break on the days because today's a fast day,

770
00:36:50.079 --> 00:36:51.519
so I have a smoothie in the morning, and then

771
00:36:51.559 --> 00:36:53.760
we have a three out of four hundred calorie dinner.

772
00:36:54.880 --> 00:36:57.159
I wake up a lot more. I'm actually a lot

773
00:36:57.159 --> 00:37:00.719
more mentally clear. I function and think a lot clearer.

774
00:37:01.119 --> 00:37:03.360
Yes, I have about I have an energy crashed at

775
00:37:03.360 --> 00:37:05.199
around two or three, but then I just blocked that

776
00:37:05.280 --> 00:37:09.000
time out for a nap and just drink a lot

777
00:37:09.039 --> 00:37:12.199
of water, so I wake up more hydrated and a

778
00:37:12.199 --> 00:37:13.840
lot more refreshed on the next day.

779
00:37:14.000 --> 00:37:16.559
So I've just I've seen that there's a lot of benefits.

780
00:37:16.559 --> 00:37:17.239
And then Kirk when it.

781
00:37:17.239 --> 00:37:18.960
Had his blood tests. He's really good with his health

782
00:37:18.960 --> 00:37:21.679
because he's had cancer, so he's really good at monitoring

783
00:37:21.719 --> 00:37:24.760
his health. So after he gets blood tests every six months,

784
00:37:24.760 --> 00:37:28.280
and the last test was just a glowing report of

785
00:37:28.320 --> 00:37:28.719
his health.

786
00:37:28.760 --> 00:37:31.920
His liver function, his kidney function, his heart, he's cholesterols,

787
00:37:31.920 --> 00:37:32.719
his blood shugars.

788
00:37:32.719 --> 00:37:36.239
Everything was just perfect and they keep getting better as

789
00:37:36.239 --> 00:37:36.920
he's getting older.

790
00:37:36.920 --> 00:37:37.480
It's amazing.

791
00:37:38.440 --> 00:37:41.800
So it works for us, so we live by My last.

792
00:37:41.559 --> 00:37:46.559
Question, Lane is how do you now define success?

793
00:37:47.719 --> 00:37:51.920
I've defined success by living a life. I love that

794
00:37:51.960 --> 00:37:54.199
doesn't mean you're always going to be doing things you love,

795
00:37:55.079 --> 00:37:58.199
and it doesn't mean life's all good and everything's amazing

796
00:37:58.280 --> 00:38:02.920
all the time. To me, it means having the choice

797
00:38:03.559 --> 00:38:05.840
to do what I want to do when I want

798
00:38:05.880 --> 00:38:13.119
to do it. However, it's primarily driven or determined by

799
00:38:13.280 --> 00:38:16.199
how I want to feel, and every day, I want

800
00:38:16.239 --> 00:38:18.840
to feel energized. I want to feel healthy, I want

801
00:38:18.880 --> 00:38:21.239
to feel happy. I want to feel like I'm contributing.

802
00:38:21.400 --> 00:38:23.159
I want to I love to learn, so I want

803
00:38:23.199 --> 00:38:27.800
to feel like I'm growing, and if I'm doing that consistently,

804
00:38:28.079 --> 00:38:30.679
then I'm living a very successful life.

805
00:38:30.840 --> 00:38:33.800
I'm so grateful for your time today, Lane, and I

806
00:38:33.840 --> 00:38:35.559
will make sure that we put a link to your

807
00:38:35.559 --> 00:38:38.760
Awake Academy in the show notes for this episode, because

808
00:38:38.760 --> 00:38:40.320
I'm sure a lot of people will be keen to

809
00:38:40.360 --> 00:38:41.440
go and check that out.

810
00:38:41.519 --> 00:38:42.960
Thank you so much for your time.

811
00:38:43.239 --> 00:38:47.480
You're welcome, Thanks so much, kas have a lovely days.

812
00:38:48.519 --> 00:38:52.199
What a fantastic model of courage and resilience. Lane is

813
00:38:52.679 --> 00:38:55.280
as promised. If you're interested in learning more about Lane's

814
00:38:55.320 --> 00:38:58.559
Awake Academy, head to Awake academy dot com dot I

815
00:38:58.679 --> 00:39:02.280
you and use the code Awake ten to take ten

816
00:39:02.280 --> 00:39:06.000
percent of her online program. As always, if you enjoyed

817
00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:08.880
the episode, please do leave a rating and review. Send

818
00:39:08.880 --> 00:39:11.360
me a message over on Instagram I'm at cast Done

819
00:39:11.440 --> 00:39:15.239
underscore XO, or send an email to hello at castdone

820
00:39:15.400 --> 00:39:18.239
dot com. To be part of the online community for

821
00:39:18.239 --> 00:39:20.679
Crappy to Happy, jump on into my free Facebook group.

822
00:39:20.679 --> 00:39:23.360
It's called Crappy to Happy Community and I'll put the

823
00:39:23.360 --> 00:39:24.480
link in the show notes.

824
00:39:24.639 --> 00:39:27.039
If you're ready to take your happiness to the next level,

825
00:39:27.199 --> 00:39:31.000
you're also welcome to join my paid membership called Beyond Happy.

826
00:39:31.360 --> 00:39:33.840
You can find out all the details cast done dot

827
00:39:33.840 --> 00:39:36.920
com forward slash beyond. I look forward to chatting to

828
00:39:36.960 --> 00:39:40.280
you in the next episode of Crappy to Happy. Crappy

829
00:39:40.280 --> 00:39:43.480
to Happy is presented by cast Don, produced by Davis Vilenski,

830
00:39:43.760 --> 00:39:45.639
Audio production by Darcy Thompson.

831
00:39:49.079 --> 00:39:49.519
Listener