March 4, 2018

Think happy thoughts!

Think happy thoughts!
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Think happy thoughts!
Think happy thoughts!
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Season 2 Mindset Psychology & Neuroscience Mindfulness & Acceptance Positive Psychology

Does positive thinking really work? Tiff and Cass discuss the power of positivity for improving your health and wellbeing. Contrary to stereotypes, it's not all smiley faces and rainbows or banishing negative emotions, but there ARE scientifically proven benefits to be gained from increasing your positive thoughts and feelings. Cass will teach you what the ideal positivity ratio is and give you the tools and tips for how you can achieve it.Connect with Cass:www.crappytohappypod.comhello@crappytohappypod.com 
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypodwww.tiktok.com/crappytohappypod
Join the free 7-day Happiness Challenge:www.cassdunn.com/happiness

Connect with Cass:

www.cassdunn.com
www.instagram.com/cassdunn_xo

Contact Crappy to Happy:

Email: hello@crappytohappypod.com
www.crappytohappypod.com
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypod
www.tiktok.com/@crappytohappypod


Are you a coach, therapist, service provider or solopreneur struggling with self-doubt and imposter syndrome? I'd love to talk to you! (for market research purposes only!)

Book a call with me to share your experience.

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Transcript
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A listener production. Welcome to series two of Crappy to Happy.

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We are so excited to be back and thank you

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so much for tuning into the first series listening to us.

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And we have had a wonderful response. So many questions

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come through, haven't we casts? We sure have.

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We're super excited to be back in the studio. We

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have had an amazing response, and yeah, like you said,

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lots of people asking for more and asking us.

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To go deeper into some topics.

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So we're really excited to have the opportunity.

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Yes, and we've looked at those top topics that you

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guys have reached out and said, we want to know

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about this, and we've put together a whole series based

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on those topics and we're going to talk about them.

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So thank you so much for the wonderful suggestions. I

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am Tiffany Hall. I'm a trainer, I'm an author. I

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am the founder of tifxo dot com, a fitness and weight.

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Loss website, and I'm a clinical and coaching psychologist in

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private practice. And i am the resident psychologist on tivxso

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dot com. And I teach meditation and mindfulness and run

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courses on happiness and well being.

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Cas What is Crappy to Happy All about?

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Crabita Happy is a show where we give you simple

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tools and tips and strategies to help you live a healthier,

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happier life. So you're a trainer, I'm a psychologist. We

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cover all things mind and body. In season one we

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covered off the cult of busy, dealing with emotional eating,

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self sabotage, and now in season two, we've got a

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whole bunch of brand new topics.

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Life after a baby, very relevant to you right now,

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aging gracefully more relevant to me? No, no, and things.

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Like positive thinking, mindfulness, whether we need a digital detox,

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I don't know what I want to do when I

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grow up? All these questions, life questions.

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It's so helpful. Yeah, really common topic that come up

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all the time.

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Okay, so, without any further ado, let's get into topic

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number one, thinking happy thoughts.

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Does positive thinking really work? Please? Cast kick this one off.

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This is a great topic.

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It is a topic very close to my heart and

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obviously perfect for a show called Crappy to Have It. Yes, So,

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there is a lot of research now that supports the

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fact that the more positivity you have in your.

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Life, the better off you.

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Will be WHI I'm talking about positive thoughts and positive feelings.

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I want to say, though, I think we all know that,

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and this is where positive thinking comes under attack a

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little bit, like it's not possible to be always positive

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all the.

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Time, Thank you, cas, because I'm sitting here right now

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with a broken ankle and I am feeling so not

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positive about it right and I want to know is

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positive thinking going to help me get through this injury?

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Is it going?

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Short answer, yes, absolutely, And I think those people who

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are really positive all the time mostly we want to

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punch them in the face.

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Yeah, there's positive and then there's diluted.

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So that's really annoying, okay, And in fact, yeah, that's

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that's true. We can't be too positive, but we're not

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about putting sunshine and smiley faces and rainbows.

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Over all of the you gotta be realistic, exactly, over.

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All of the negative and the terrible things that happen

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in life. The truth of it is, though, and there

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has been some research about this, that when we talk

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about happiness, if we sort of water the whole positivity

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thing down into happiness, which is all covering good of

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a word that a lot of our happiness comes down

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to our intentional thoughts and activities, not our life circumstances.

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In fact, there's some research and I think this has

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been disputed a little bit, but generally speaking, there is

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still some evidence that says so roughly half of our temperament,

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basically our general happiness comes down to our biology, and

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of the other half, forty percent is directly attributed to

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how we think and how we behave Only ten percent

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is attributed to your circumstances in life. So that includes

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whether you're single, married, what sort of a job you've got,

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whether you've got a job or not, whether you have

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got kids, how much money you make, where you live.

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All of that has very little to do fascinating, So

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it's only ten percent, yeah, which doesn't mean that at

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any given time.

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If you're having a really bad day because you've got

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a broken ankle.

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That's very relevant to you right now. But in the scheme.

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Of things, if you were to suffer extreme misfortune today,

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or if you were to win the lotto today, basically

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in twelve months time, your happiness would be pretty much

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the same as what it is today. So after an

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adjustment period, after that sort of settling into or the

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initial shock or the joy or the whatever it is.

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Of that new thing, good or bad.

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Then you generally kind of hover back to a certain

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happiness what they call the happiness set point. Okay, so,

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but that doesn't mean that that happiness set point can't change.

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Cas.

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When you say you're predisposed to be a certain level

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of happy, what do you mean by that? So?

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I guess that generally that means you your genetic predisposition

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is you're the temperament that you're born with.

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You know, so we can see even with.

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Little kids, some who are more quite shy, introverted some

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and more extroverted outgoing, we have a genetic predisposition which

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is like our hereditary basically our biological hereditary. You know,

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we can be predisposed to things like anxiety, if there

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is a family history of anxiety, depression, if there's a

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family history of depression. It doesn't mean that you're predetermined

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to have those things. It just means that you may

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be more at risk because of your genetics, the same

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as you might be predisposed to diabetes or you know,

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lots of other family hereditary conditions. Having said that, you know,

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I would have to add in there a disclaimer that

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some of that stuff. If your mum and your grandma

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and your great grandma were all highly anxious and you

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end up being anxious, part of that will be to

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do with genetics, and part of it will also be

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with what is modeled to you. Yes, so what you

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learn from seeing in your family. So there's a mix

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of things there, but that's I guess that's generally what

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we mean by that genetic predisposition. Some people are a

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bit more optimistic, some people are a bit more pessimistic.

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It's just the way we're.

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Sort of wired, okay, which is not to say and

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this is the important thing that you can't shift that.

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The question is, well, why would you want to shift it?

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Because some people will say those people who are the

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more pessimistic will tell you that they're the realists actually,

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and that all of this positive thinking is a you know,

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it's just a lot of rubbish and it's being idealistic.

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But what can you tell us about how being positive

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can affect you?

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I thought you would never ask.

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So there is research to show that people who are

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more positive, for example, are have less risk of hypertension,

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of diabetes and stroke.

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People with who are more positive.

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Generally, they tend to cope better with stress and with adversity.

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We know that people I have to tell you about

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the Nun study. I will in a minute, that they

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live longer. They have a stronger immune system, sorry, a

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stronger immune response. So you know, you inject people with

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flu stuff and watch how well their bodies produce antibodies,

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so they respond better to stress and all to exposure

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to illness. They also tend to have lower risk of

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cardiovascular disease. And they you know, partly there's some correlational

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effects here too, because partly maybe they just live healthier

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lives because they tend to be more optimistic, so they

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tend to look forward to a brighter future, so therefore

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they take better care of themselves.

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So there's all sorts of things that interact. So casts

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all these benefits. That's to do with.

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Your brain, right, the way you're having these thoughts and

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the thoughts releasing certain chemicals is.

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Changing now changes the biology changes your biology, It definitely does.

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It's the thoughts. The thoughts change your biology.

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Yeah, well, the thoughts impact your feelings. Feelings then loop

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back and impact your thoughts, and all of that affects

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your behavior, so it becomes a very self reinforcing and

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self fulfilling. And the same thing can happen with negative

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thoughts and negative feelings.

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Portisol and all those the negative hormones, and I know

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what that can do to you.

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Yeah.

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Now, remember we don't want to demonize cortisol, because some

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of it.

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Is we'll talk about that actually in another episode.

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Yes, because the effects of cortisol can be positive and helpful.

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It's just if it's that overproduction, too much stress, too

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much chronic stress, and no relief. I want to tell

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you about this study which I heard about, which I love,

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and it's famously known as the Nun study. So groups

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of nuns when they were entering the convent, this is

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way back in the nineteen thirties nineteen forties, they asked

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them all to write a brief biography, so they had

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to write a story about themselves and their lives. So

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a lot of these nuns were entering the convent so

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as teenagers, maybe having come from homes where they couldn't

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afford to like they didn't go to school, or the

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family couldn't afford to look after them, so they would

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enter the convent and sixty seventy years later, some researchers

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started to analyze those biographies and looked at the ratio

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of the balance of positive versus negative kind of statements

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and phrases.

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The way they described their life and themselves.

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They looked for particular words and phrases that reflected positivity

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versus negativity. The nuns who had, on the whole more

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positive words and phrases, some more positive outlook on life,

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on average lived seven years longer than the nuns who

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had more negative statements. The other thing is this was

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actually not even a study about longevity. This was a

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study about Alzheimer's. So they found that I don't remember

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the exact percentage, but many more of the nuns with

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the negative outlook were inclined to develop Alzheimer's in older age.

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So you know, they're looking at these studies now when

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these nuns are in their.

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Six incredenties eighties.

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There's one particular nun who was a particular example who

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lived into you know, she went on to do these

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great things and make lots of contribution, had a strong

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sense of purpose.

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Her biography was very positive.

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What these nuns also did was they so this is

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how they know about the Alzheimer's as well, is that

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they donated their brains to science at the end. So

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this one particular nun who lived a very long, healthy life,

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she had, you know, had a great positive outlook, She

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had a strong sense of purpose. She donated her brain

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to science, and her brain had all of the physical

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evidence of somebody with late stage Alzheimer's in her life.

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She never ever expressed a symptom. She never had any

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of the outward like, you know, we know what Alzheimer's

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looks like, we know what dement she looks like. Her

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brain had all of the plaques that normally would say

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that this woman had Alzheimer's, but she never had a

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symptom of Alzheimer's. But that's basically saying that you can

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actually have the physical effects of a disease and not

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actually experience any of the symptoms of it.

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So, Cas, what does that tell us about the power

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of positive thinking?

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Yeah, well, I tell it says a lot, doesn't it.

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But how we think affects not only how we feel,

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it affects our physiology.

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You know what. I'm so interested in this. As a trainer,

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my job is.

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To get the best out of people their potential. And

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I have seen in clients and through my community of

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people I train online that sometimes what I expect of

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them in terms of positivity and encouragement and telling them

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what I expect, sometimes they live up to that expectation,

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even despite you know, perhaps not believing in it themselves.

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And I did read that this was called the pigmalion effect,

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about what we expect from other people and from ourselves

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manifests itself in the world. So, you know, expectations become

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reality just from me infusing you with positivity and you

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believing in yourself. And it's something that I've seen time

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and time again in sports psychology and through training people.

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And you know, growing up around Olympic athletes who were

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always into the positive thinking, and even in around healing

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injuries and rehab it has manifested and there has been

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a difference.

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So I've seen that myself.

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Absolutely, And the pig mailing effect is something that would

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you say is true would you psychologically?

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You know, So if we talk about the function of

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negative emotions versus positive emotions, the function of negative emotions

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is generally to have us avoid something that we perceive

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to be a threat or a risk, right, so therefore,

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when we are feeling negative or thinking something negative, we.

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Focus in on that.

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We become consumed with that problem because our biological evolution,

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the way we've evolved, is to focus in on the threat.

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So we might if we feel fear, then we focus

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on how to avoid that thing. We feel angry, we

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focus on how we you know, fight that thing or

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whatever it is, And so that creates a downward spiral.

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But when we experience positive emotions, that is the opposite effect.

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It tends to and researchers have studied this that it

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opens us up to possibilities. It literally opens up our

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minds and opens up our world to a greater level

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of possibilities.

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We very much find what we're looking for. It's what

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you're talking about.

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Right, And so someone says to you, you can do

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ten push ups on your toes. You can do that,

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And then the client they say, well, if TIP believes

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I can do that, I can do it, And then

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they can do it even if they've never done it

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before in their life.

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I've seen that happen. Yeah, it does happen.

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And different people will respond to that in different ways.

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Some people will be more inclined to respond to that

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in a positive way and to meet your expectation. And

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some people won't. Some people might shut down, you know,

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with the whole I can't. But this is where we

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have the power of choice, and this is where we

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have to remember that we do have a choice. Yes,

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the whole ratio of positive to negative thoughts is if

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you called up today, for example, and said, Cas, I

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can't do the podcast today, yes, And if my first

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thought was fantastic, I was really unprepared and I'm really

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glad to have this day off that gives me an

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extra day to prepare, I would have a whole different

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emotional response, and then I would go off and I.

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Would happily prepare.

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If my thought when you said, Cas, I need to cancel,

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if my first thought was that's if she doesn't respect

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my time. You know, I was all organized for this,

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I've wasted my money coming to Melbort whatever, then I

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would have a whole different emotional response and my behaviors

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would all be different.

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Same that happened.

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That is relevant to every single thing, every single day.

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Everything we encounter in life, we automatically make meaning of it,

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and then that affects how we feel about it and

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that affects how we our behavior, our behavioral response. So

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oftentimes add the ways that we think and the ways

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that we make meaning and the ways that we interpret

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things are so habitual and so entrenched that we're not

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even aware that we're defaulting to this negative interpretation, defaulting.

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And that's what I wanted to ask you, Kas, how

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do you break out of that?

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So then once you become aware this is more mindfulness

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is a great one, and we'll talk more about that.

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But as soon as you become aware that that's what

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you're doing, you can actually start to challenge those automatic

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thoughts that you have and start to shift the balance

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more to something that's more positive, or at least to

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question or loosen the grip I suppose on the power

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of your belief in the negative interpretation. You know, you

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can consider that there might be another possibility. Maybe Tiff

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really wasn't out to just sabotage me today. You know,

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you can actually put some space between you and the

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thought to open up some more possibilities. But that's what

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I mean about this choice point. We're all making meaning,

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and we can all choose to once we know what

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we're doing, we can all choose to view something with

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a more positive outlook for or a.

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More negative one cas I can so relate to this

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right now. I saw this topic and we had prepared

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for it, but then this morning I thought, how am

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I going to talk about positive thinking because I'm not

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feeling very positive right now. I've broken my ankle and sure,

324
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a broken bone. It's not a big deal, but for

325
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me that means I can't work because my job is

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to film fitness videos. It affects my business, it affects

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me personally. I can't carry my five month baby. I

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can't pick him up, I can't walk with him. So

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the logistics of having someone at home the whole time

330
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to carry Arnold and change his nappy and pick him

331
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up out of his cot to feed him is very

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00:16:34.919 --> 00:16:39.080
difficult right now. So I am trying to stay positive,

333
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but sometimes it's just a little bit hard.

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Sometimes it really is.

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And I think that we're not about banishing all negative emotions.

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That is key, were not about being unrealistically positive, because

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there is space for the full range of human emotions.

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And in fact, the more we pursue happiness, the more

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we're there's research about this, the more people kind of

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desperately seeking happiness. I want to be happy all the time,

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the more depressed they are, So we're not about chasing

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happiness at all costs and the banishing negativity. You and

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I have talked about this before, because we actually have

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to be able to be able to tolerate and be able

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to handle the full range, and to be able to

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have their skills and the resources to manage difficulty like

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a broken leg, like lots of things. Lots of people

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experience really difficult, tragic things all of the time. But

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by changing the ratio, and we'll talk a bit about

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this afterwards, changing the ratio of positivity positive to negative emotions,

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we actually tend. It does tend to equip us with

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the skills to better handle life's difficulties. So it doesn't

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mean that you can't feel badly your ankle, It doesn't

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mean that we can't. You all feel bad at some point.

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What we want to do is be careful about the balance.

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And I do find look and injury is one thing,

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physically being hurt and feeling restriction that way, but also

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I do find that being in the world at the moment,

359
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it can be a little bit hard and for myself

360
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running an online business. I'm open to every opinion in

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the world. Every opinion's come at me. For example, since

362
00:18:24.839 --> 00:18:29.319
having a baby, lots of opinions on parenting, on breastfeeding,

363
00:18:29.519 --> 00:18:33.839
on how to manage my milk, and everything has come

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at me. And that can be hard sometimes when you're

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00:18:36.839 --> 00:18:39.640
surrounded by so many opinions in the modern world through

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social media. How do you stay positive when you're comparing

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yourself to other.

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People, when people are weighing in on how you're living

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00:18:46.799 --> 00:18:49.839
your life? Really good question, and you're quite right.

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We're bombarded with all sorts of reasons to feel crappy all.

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Of the time. Social media is only matter worse.

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And I find that social media feels a bit more

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negative than positive.

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There's research about that to in fact, the more time

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that you spend on social media can actually increase your

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anxiety and depression, depending on what you use it for.

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00:19:07.799 --> 00:19:09.240
But yeah, there's some research about that.

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00:19:10.039 --> 00:19:13.440
We're just generally busy and stressed and overwhelmed and there's

379
00:19:13.480 --> 00:19:15.119
a lot of crappy.

380
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Things and available available twenty four seven.

381
00:19:18.119 --> 00:19:21.160
Yeah, so I think it's a great question, and I

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think that after the break we'll come back with some

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strategies for how we can.

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Tip the balance over into feeling a bit more positive.

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00:19:31.000 --> 00:19:33.400
Welcome back to Crappy to hap you With Tip and Cass,

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00:19:33.440 --> 00:19:37.039
we're talking about positive thinking. We've been chatting about how

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00:19:37.079 --> 00:19:40.440
hard it can be sometimes to stay positive when life

388
00:19:40.440 --> 00:19:43.720
throws you a curveball and you're feeling a bit crappy.

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Now we're going to give you some tips and tools

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00:19:46.079 --> 00:19:47.440
to feel more positive.

391
00:19:47.759 --> 00:19:49.240
So, Cass, where can we start?

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00:19:49.400 --> 00:19:51.160
I think I'd like to start with first of all,

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00:19:51.640 --> 00:19:54.680
when we talk about the balance. Barbara Frederickson is a

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00:19:54.680 --> 00:19:57.319
psychologist who's done lots of research in this area, and

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00:19:57.319 --> 00:20:00.000
what she has found from really decades now of research

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00:20:00.599 --> 00:20:06.559
is that the magic ratio of positive to negative emotions,

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00:20:06.640 --> 00:20:09.599
let's say, is three to one. That's what we want

398
00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:13.400
to be aiming for. So if you consider that our

399
00:20:15.039 --> 00:20:18.799
we all have a strong in built negativity bias, which

400
00:20:18.799 --> 00:20:20.359
I think you and I have talked about. If you have,

401
00:20:20.880 --> 00:20:23.640
we tend to default to focusing on what's going wrong,

402
00:20:23.880 --> 00:20:27.839
not what's going right. And so because we are inclined

403
00:20:28.200 --> 00:20:30.960
to focus more of our attention, focus more of our

404
00:20:31.000 --> 00:20:34.119
thoughts and therefore feelings, et cetera, on what's going wrong,

405
00:20:34.359 --> 00:20:37.319
then we want to consciously try to pull that back

406
00:20:37.359 --> 00:20:42.480
and shift it to deliberately, like intentionally focus more on

407
00:20:42.519 --> 00:20:45.599
what's going right, to shift that balance to a three

408
00:20:45.640 --> 00:20:49.160
to one ratio. Okay, So this means we're not about

409
00:20:49.319 --> 00:20:53.039
eliminating negativity, because that would be impossible and that would

410
00:20:53.039 --> 00:20:56.839
be counterproductive. But if you think about it in that way,

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00:20:57.400 --> 00:21:01.319
then sometimes the best way to shift the ratio is

412
00:21:01.400 --> 00:21:04.319
actually not even necessarily. While there are ways that we

413
00:21:04.359 --> 00:21:07.119
can focus on upping the positive and we will talk

414
00:21:07.160 --> 00:21:09.599
about that, sometimes the best thing you can do is

415
00:21:09.599 --> 00:21:12.279
actually to start to try to reduce the negative. Okay,

416
00:21:12.400 --> 00:21:15.920
for example, staying away from people who drag you down,

417
00:21:16.599 --> 00:21:23.279
you know, staying away from conversations which are gossipy, negative, sarcastic,

418
00:21:23.359 --> 00:21:27.480
you know, competitive, Yeah, competitive, people who are unsupportive. There's

419
00:21:27.519 --> 00:21:30.799
lots of negativity that seeps in that we can actually

420
00:21:30.839 --> 00:21:34.880
deliberately try to weed out, like to move away from,

421
00:21:35.720 --> 00:21:39.119
and by doing so, we're naturally then shifting the balance

422
00:21:39.160 --> 00:21:40.839
more to what's positive.

423
00:21:41.119 --> 00:21:43.240
So cas we just have to stay away from negative

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00:21:43.400 --> 00:21:45.079
people to shift the balance.

425
00:21:46.039 --> 00:21:49.880
Anything that's a negative influence, let's say, anything that adds

426
00:21:49.920 --> 00:21:53.319
more negativity to your life, that includes social media. There's

427
00:21:53.319 --> 00:21:55.079
a lot of advice out there at the moment to

428
00:21:55.160 --> 00:21:59.279
delete social media accounts that stop following sorry, social media

429
00:21:59.319 --> 00:22:02.079
accounts that make you feel bad about yourself. We don't

430
00:22:02.079 --> 00:22:04.079
have to watch the news three times a night and

431
00:22:04.119 --> 00:22:06.240
see all of the bad things that are happening in

432
00:22:06.240 --> 00:22:11.200
the world. Yes, So staying away from the conversations. You know,

433
00:22:11.200 --> 00:22:14.240
if there's gossipy conversation happening in the lunchroom at work,

434
00:22:14.240 --> 00:22:16.119
you can choose to remove yourself from it. Because of

435
00:22:16.200 --> 00:22:21.000
negativity breeds negativity, and all emotions are contagious.

436
00:22:21.240 --> 00:22:22.880
Actually, so the more that you.

437
00:22:23.119 --> 00:22:26.559
Are with people and environments that are that kind of

438
00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:28.799
negative and toxic, the more you're going to absorb that,

439
00:22:29.119 --> 00:22:31.000
and that's going to directly impact you, and then you're

440
00:22:31.039 --> 00:22:32.599
going to take that and have that impact all the

441
00:22:32.599 --> 00:22:33.279
people around you.

442
00:22:33.519 --> 00:22:36.839
Yeah, you really do have to protect your energy. And

443
00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:40.799
I so believe in that the transfusion of energies.

444
00:22:40.920 --> 00:22:43.559
Ah, yeah, And it's fact. It's fact that we actually

445
00:22:43.599 --> 00:22:47.519
have mirror neurons which make us emotions are contagious. It's

446
00:22:47.559 --> 00:22:50.039
like when I yawn, you yawn, Yeah, Like we actually

447
00:22:50.119 --> 00:22:52.039
mirror the person in front of us, and we have

448
00:22:52.119 --> 00:22:56.079
this really powerful contagion effect with emotions, so we know

449
00:22:56.200 --> 00:22:59.319
if you're around somebody who's really down, how you feel

450
00:23:00.160 --> 00:23:02.039
and you know, so you want to support people, but

451
00:23:02.079 --> 00:23:06.400
you don't want to be dragged down other people's issues

452
00:23:06.519 --> 00:23:07.160
and problems.

453
00:23:07.240 --> 00:23:10.640
Mirror neurons are interesting. Why do we have those?

454
00:23:11.359 --> 00:23:12.559
Yeah, they are interesting.

455
00:23:12.599 --> 00:23:15.200
I guess that's just part of our evolutionary biology again,

456
00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:19.799
because we are finally tuned. Our brains are finally tuned

457
00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:22.119
to pick up on subtle cues in front of us.

458
00:23:22.160 --> 00:23:25.640
So we needed to know as cave people surviving, we

459
00:23:25.680 --> 00:23:27.480
needed to know if somebody in front of us was

460
00:23:28.119 --> 00:23:30.599
a friend or a foe. So we'd pick those things

461
00:23:30.680 --> 00:23:32.759
up and then we would and you know, and you'd

462
00:23:32.799 --> 00:23:35.000
reflect that back to the person in front of you.

463
00:23:35.039 --> 00:23:37.519
So we pick up these subtle cues. Baby's born.

464
00:23:37.519 --> 00:23:38.880
I don't know if you did this with Arnold. When

465
00:23:38.880 --> 00:23:44.440
he's born, they they mirror back to you your facial expressions.

466
00:23:44.920 --> 00:23:48.799
Yes, he's just started to do that.

467
00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:53.039
Well they do raspberries and yeah, lovey is gorgeous.

468
00:23:53.480 --> 00:23:55.160
But they do it from newborn, like they do it

469
00:23:55.200 --> 00:23:56.000
straight from the womb.

470
00:23:56.640 --> 00:23:59.440
So we are designed to tune into it to the

471
00:23:59.440 --> 00:24:04.319
people close to us, and to align ourselves socially with

472
00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:07.000
people account survive without a tribe, So we have to

473
00:24:07.039 --> 00:24:09.599
align ourselves socially and so that the mirror neurons are

474
00:24:09.599 --> 00:24:10.079
all part of.

475
00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:12.599
That amazing So cas, what else can we do to

476
00:24:12.680 --> 00:24:13.759
keep the positivity?

477
00:24:14.160 --> 00:24:18.000
Well, once we've successfully kind of weeded out some of

478
00:24:18.039 --> 00:24:20.400
those negative influences, then we can start focusing.

479
00:24:20.039 --> 00:24:21.039
On upping the positive.

480
00:24:21.599 --> 00:24:27.240
So probably one of the most beneficial, the most reported

481
00:24:27.480 --> 00:24:31.440
and activities that you can do, is to count your blessings.

482
00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:35.559
So essentially focusing on what you're grateful for. It is an.

483
00:24:35.400 --> 00:24:40.319
Immediate mood booster, an immediate perspective changer. And I tell people,

484
00:24:40.319 --> 00:24:42.559
no matter how crappy a day you are having, there

485
00:24:42.640 --> 00:24:44.680
is always something to be grateful for.

486
00:24:45.279 --> 00:24:47.720
And that's true, It is so true. And this is

487
00:24:47.799 --> 00:24:49.440
something that my dad does.

488
00:24:49.680 --> 00:24:52.640
He has a journal sitting by the coffee machine and

489
00:24:52.680 --> 00:24:55.160
it's there for everyone to read all his good things,

490
00:24:55.279 --> 00:24:57.480
and he writes three good things a day whilst he

491
00:24:57.559 --> 00:25:00.559
makes his coffee, and they can be his wife's breakfast

492
00:25:00.759 --> 00:25:02.359
or mum making breakfast.

493
00:25:02.440 --> 00:25:03.599
He was grateful for.

494
00:25:03.440 --> 00:25:06.519
His blender the other day, for his genes, for the

495
00:25:06.599 --> 00:25:07.599
dog's temperament.

496
00:25:08.680 --> 00:25:13.079
You know, Arnie gets a mention, he's so cute. It's lovely.

497
00:25:13.319 --> 00:25:16.720
It is lovely, and I'm trying to do that myself.

498
00:25:16.960 --> 00:25:19.000
You know. One of the things I'm grateful for with

499
00:25:19.079 --> 00:25:22.880
this broken ankle is that's forcing me to learn more

500
00:25:22.920 --> 00:25:27.160
about rehab and seated exercise for those who maybe are

501
00:25:27.240 --> 00:25:31.920
elderly or disabled or can't. There are plenty of ways

502
00:25:31.960 --> 00:25:35.880
you can do terricize and exercise seated, and I want

503
00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:38.079
to help people to learn how to do that. So

504
00:25:38.200 --> 00:25:41.240
I'm going to shift my training program to helping people

505
00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:42.599
to do exercise.

506
00:25:42.160 --> 00:25:46.079
Seated perfect because that's a great positivity and hands is

507
00:25:46.119 --> 00:25:48.599
to find the meaning and we'll talk about that in

508
00:25:48.680 --> 00:25:52.160
other shows actually, because finding meaning and having a sense

509
00:25:52.200 --> 00:25:54.599
of purpose is a great way to boost that positivity.

510
00:25:54.640 --> 00:25:54.960
Okay.

511
00:25:55.240 --> 00:25:57.680
The gratitude journal is a really like it's a tried

512
00:25:57.720 --> 00:26:00.319
and true kind of tactic and it's used in lots

513
00:26:00.319 --> 00:26:03.200
of research studies, you know, getting people to write down

514
00:26:03.200 --> 00:26:06.519
the three things that they're grateful for each day. And

515
00:26:06.799 --> 00:26:09.200
what it does is it doesn't just in that moment,

516
00:26:09.759 --> 00:26:12.079
make you feel good, make you feel grateful, and shift

517
00:26:12.079 --> 00:26:12.720
your perspective.

518
00:26:12.759 --> 00:26:14.559
But what it does too is the more.

519
00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:16.640
When you know that every day I'm going to write

520
00:26:16.640 --> 00:26:19.920
down three things, you start to look for the things. Yes,

521
00:26:20.079 --> 00:26:22.279
so you start to shift your focus and shift what

522
00:26:22.359 --> 00:26:23.359
you shift your.

523
00:26:23.279 --> 00:26:25.480
Perspectives, training your brain with people.

524
00:26:25.279 --> 00:26:27.519
With depression, when they ask them to write down three

525
00:26:27.519 --> 00:26:31.559
good things that happens today, no matter how trivial you know,

526
00:26:31.680 --> 00:26:34.359
just getting a green light, or having a clean shirt

527
00:26:34.359 --> 00:26:35.119
to wear, something.

528
00:26:35.039 --> 00:26:38.160
That spreshly washed spinach in a bag that was in

529
00:26:38.240 --> 00:26:38.880
my dad's story.

530
00:26:38.960 --> 00:26:42.559
There you go. Then what happens is they find it

531
00:26:42.680 --> 00:26:45.759
quite effortful at first when they're very, very down and

532
00:26:45.880 --> 00:26:48.720
very depressed. But what happens is after the second or

533
00:26:48.720 --> 00:26:51.640
the third day, then they start looking for the things

534
00:26:51.880 --> 00:26:53.759
because they know that they have to write it down.

535
00:26:53.920 --> 00:26:55.400
So it changes your perspective.

536
00:26:55.400 --> 00:26:57.920
Instead of focusing on everything that's going wrong, you start

537
00:26:57.920 --> 00:27:01.079
to look for everything that's going right. So the gratitude

538
00:27:01.079 --> 00:27:04.480
thing is a really good one, really big one. The

539
00:27:04.519 --> 00:27:09.799
other one is kindness, actually doing something kind for somebody else,

540
00:27:10.359 --> 00:27:13.960
And it can be as simple as paying attention or

541
00:27:14.000 --> 00:27:17.240
paying a compliment. It doesn't have to be going out

542
00:27:17.279 --> 00:27:20.000
and volunteering for a local charity, although that's great too.

543
00:27:20.559 --> 00:27:22.599
They don't have to be grand gestures. They can just

544
00:27:22.680 --> 00:27:26.599
be small things. Noticing somebody's new haircut and actually, instead

545
00:27:26.599 --> 00:27:30.039
of thinking it, actually saying it to the person. And

546
00:27:30.200 --> 00:27:33.759
this outward perspective, like putting the focus onto making somebody

547
00:27:33.799 --> 00:27:36.880
else feel good, actually has the effect of making you

548
00:27:37.519 --> 00:27:41.880
feel good. That's a really powerful one as well. Gratitude

549
00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:42.559
and kindness.

550
00:27:42.759 --> 00:27:45.480
So, Cas, I'm just sitting here admiring your beautiful top today.

551
00:27:45.599 --> 00:27:47.400
You look so beautiful, and.

552
00:27:47.359 --> 00:27:50.680
I've written down three things and positive and I'm grateful

553
00:27:50.759 --> 00:27:54.160
for and you know what, my ankle's feeling better already.

554
00:27:55.200 --> 00:27:59.400
No, the power of positivity. The power of positivity.

555
00:27:59.519 --> 00:28:02.680
But in all seriousness, Cas, how long do you have

556
00:28:02.759 --> 00:28:05.200
to do this to see results?

557
00:28:05.240 --> 00:28:05.640
How long?

558
00:28:05.720 --> 00:28:07.359
How long does it take to change your brain to

559
00:28:07.440 --> 00:28:08.880
retrain it to be more positive?

560
00:28:09.200 --> 00:28:12.559
If you're starting to talk about neuroplastics speak, then I

561
00:28:12.599 --> 00:28:14.759
guess these things would have to be not one offs, clearly,

562
00:28:14.960 --> 00:28:17.200
they would have to be things that you put into

563
00:28:17.200 --> 00:28:19.640
practice over the long term. Like I know a lot

564
00:28:19.640 --> 00:28:22.519
of the research about mindfulness and practicing mindfulness is another

565
00:28:22.519 --> 00:28:23.319
way actually that.

566
00:28:23.279 --> 00:28:25.039
You can change your happiness set point.

567
00:28:25.119 --> 00:28:28.160
And that's one of the strategies because what mindfulness does

568
00:28:28.240 --> 00:28:30.759
is it makes you more aware of your.

569
00:28:30.640 --> 00:28:34.000
Patterns and it also puts a little bit of distance.

570
00:28:34.079 --> 00:28:36.799
That thing about mindfulness is that it puts some space

571
00:28:36.839 --> 00:28:39.119
between you and all of the stories in your head. Yes,

572
00:28:39.480 --> 00:28:41.880
and so when you can start to observe them and

573
00:28:42.000 --> 00:28:44.079
just be able to say to yourself, oh, there I

574
00:28:44.119 --> 00:28:47.799
go again with my negative story, instead of believing every

575
00:28:47.799 --> 00:28:50.480
negative story you tell yourself, then that can diffuse some

576
00:28:50.559 --> 00:28:52.039
of that negative thinking.

577
00:28:51.960 --> 00:28:53.240
And mindfulness over time.

578
00:28:53.559 --> 00:28:55.559
For a relatively short period of time, you know, an

579
00:28:55.599 --> 00:29:01.960
eight week course in mindfulness can can definitely improve your

580
00:29:02.559 --> 00:29:06.759
capacity to deal with stress and difficulty and things like that. Yeah, okay,

581
00:29:07.359 --> 00:29:08.920
so a lot of the research is done on eight

582
00:29:08.920 --> 00:29:10.039
week courses.

583
00:29:09.640 --> 00:29:12.799
And the kindness it is so important. And you are

584
00:29:12.920 --> 00:29:15.880
in the Tifexo community all the time with our members

585
00:29:16.240 --> 00:29:20.440
and encouraging them to do these positive tools and strategies

586
00:29:20.480 --> 00:29:22.799
to implement them, and many of them do. And one

587
00:29:22.799 --> 00:29:25.240
of the things that I love in the community, if

588
00:29:25.240 --> 00:29:28.799
there's a ninja who is struggling, sometimes another member will

589
00:29:28.839 --> 00:29:31.119
pay for them to do the program. And that pay

590
00:29:31.160 --> 00:29:34.400
it forward has really taken off in the community where

591
00:29:34.440 --> 00:29:36.920
people are buying each other memberships and.

592
00:29:37.319 --> 00:29:39.359
It's so beautiful.

593
00:29:39.680 --> 00:29:44.880
And I did read somewhere about how spending money on

594
00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:48.839
stuff doesn't so much make you happy, but spending money

595
00:29:48.839 --> 00:29:52.480
on experiences and sharing those experiences on I think it

596
00:29:52.519 --> 00:29:56.839
was called pro social spending. Spending on others and trying

597
00:29:56.880 --> 00:30:01.400
to help them can bring about more happy and positivity.

598
00:30:01.880 --> 00:30:05.680
So spending money on experiences over things, yeah, that's proven.

599
00:30:05.960 --> 00:30:08.559
But also yeah, they've done experiments where they give people

600
00:30:09.319 --> 00:30:12.240
twenty dollars and say you can spend it on yourself

601
00:30:12.359 --> 00:30:14.319
or you can spend it on somebody else, and the

602
00:30:14.319 --> 00:30:17.160
people who spend the money on other people report the

603
00:30:17.160 --> 00:30:19.480
greatest boost in mood and happiness.

604
00:30:19.759 --> 00:30:22.599
It really does work, And with all this positive thinking,

605
00:30:23.119 --> 00:30:25.599
I do think it's very effective because at the end

606
00:30:25.680 --> 00:30:29.440
of the day, your beliefs dictate your efforts. So if

607
00:30:29.480 --> 00:30:32.599
you are being positive about a situation, say in my

608
00:30:32.680 --> 00:30:36.279
own world, coaching people to lose weight on it with

609
00:30:36.319 --> 00:30:40.359
a weight loss fitness program, if they believe they are capable.

610
00:30:39.880 --> 00:30:42.480
Of losing weight, then they put in more effort.

611
00:30:42.680 --> 00:30:45.000
But if they believe that they never lose weight, that

612
00:30:45.079 --> 00:30:48.160
it's always hard, that it's impossible for them due to

613
00:30:48.240 --> 00:30:51.839
hormones or thyroid or something. You know, then it's usually

614
00:30:51.880 --> 00:30:54.440
more of a struggle. So I do believe the more

615
00:30:54.480 --> 00:30:57.279
positive you are, the more effort you put in and

616
00:30:57.319 --> 00:30:58.559
the better result you will get.

617
00:30:58.680 --> 00:31:01.160
So there are lots of other things you can try. Actually,

618
00:31:01.640 --> 00:31:05.359
So one is spending time in nature. That's proven to

619
00:31:05.400 --> 00:31:10.160
boost mood. Now, I will say though on a nice day, so.

620
00:31:10.440 --> 00:31:13.160
Whether really yeah, the sun vitamin D I get that.

621
00:31:13.400 --> 00:31:16.920
Well that yeah, So twenty minutes a day on a

622
00:31:16.920 --> 00:31:19.480
lovely day outside.

623
00:31:19.559 --> 00:31:21.119
We know that weather impacts mood.

624
00:31:21.119 --> 00:31:25.000
There's a something called SAD for like seasonal affect affective disorder,

625
00:31:25.240 --> 00:31:28.559
which is when people get depressed in the winter. So

626
00:31:28.559 --> 00:31:31.559
so you know, sometimes you can't help the climate, you know, the.

627
00:31:31.799 --> 00:31:32.640
Environment that you live in.

628
00:31:32.680 --> 00:31:34.319
But what you do have power over is on a

629
00:31:34.359 --> 00:31:36.400
nice day, you can go and spend twenty minutes outside

630
00:31:36.519 --> 00:31:38.400
or you can stay inside all day. And if you

631
00:31:38.400 --> 00:31:40.960
spend twenty minutes outside, that's a proven mood boost.

632
00:31:41.000 --> 00:31:44.440
And I tell you, as a new mum, the maternal

633
00:31:44.480 --> 00:31:47.519
health nurse kept saying to me, get outside, get outside.

634
00:31:47.559 --> 00:31:49.279
I'd be like, I'm too busy. I've got a baby

635
00:31:49.279 --> 00:31:50.000
and running visits.

636
00:31:50.880 --> 00:31:53.279
But once I started to go outside in the sunshine

637
00:31:53.279 --> 00:31:55.119
for fifteen minutes with the PRAM.

638
00:31:55.160 --> 00:31:57.880
As long as I could muster, I did feel better.

639
00:31:58.000 --> 00:32:00.720
It makes a huge difference, Yeah, makes it huge difference.

640
00:32:01.759 --> 00:32:04.839
Here's one play to your strengths. This is actually a

641
00:32:04.920 --> 00:32:06.359
positive psychology intervention.

642
00:32:07.000 --> 00:32:11.319
Yes. I took this test online. Yes, so you can

643
00:32:11.359 --> 00:32:13.440
do it. This is about character strengths first.

644
00:32:13.480 --> 00:32:16.640
So this is like your not just like I'm good

645
00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:19.400
at English or maths or numbers or whatever. This is

646
00:32:19.440 --> 00:32:22.519
about what are my values in action? Yes, it's called

647
00:32:22.519 --> 00:32:24.839
the via strengths, which is values in action. So these

648
00:32:24.839 --> 00:32:30.240
are things like hope, determination, zest, humility.

649
00:32:30.319 --> 00:32:31.240
There's a whole list of them.

650
00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:33.519
There's twenty four of them actually, and you can do

651
00:32:33.559 --> 00:32:35.720
this little survey online for free, or you can pay

652
00:32:35.720 --> 00:32:37.400
twenty five dollars to do the paid one.

653
00:32:37.559 --> 00:32:38.359
And it tells you.

654
00:32:38.319 --> 00:32:42.200
What your top strengths are and if you choose to

655
00:32:42.200 --> 00:32:44.839
engage in activities that play to your strengths, if you

656
00:32:44.880 --> 00:32:47.799
find opportunities to use the things that come most naturally

657
00:32:47.880 --> 00:32:53.200
to you, it's huge for improving your happiness and your

658
00:32:53.880 --> 00:32:55.640
I guess the word is flourishing is the word we

659
00:32:55.720 --> 00:32:58.119
use in positives like you know you're flourishing in life

660
00:32:58.680 --> 00:33:03.519
increases more that you use those strengths, and it also

661
00:33:03.559 --> 00:33:05.799
shows you other strengths. I love that nothing's called a

662
00:33:05.839 --> 00:33:08.160
weakness on this thing. Yeah, if there's twenty four and

663
00:33:08.200 --> 00:33:11.279
so whatever is at the number twenty four isn't a weakness.

664
00:33:11.279 --> 00:33:14.400
It's just a strength that you could choose to develop. Yes,

665
00:33:14.720 --> 00:33:17.119
so they're on a spectrum.

666
00:33:17.359 --> 00:33:19.200
But if you know this.

667
00:33:19.480 --> 00:33:22.720
We all know this intuitively, don't we If we're if

668
00:33:22.759 --> 00:33:25.359
we're acting in ways or doing things that don't align

669
00:33:25.400 --> 00:33:27.559
with who we fundamentally are, if.

670
00:33:27.400 --> 00:33:31.359
It feels off and it feels wrong, yeah, it's a downer.

671
00:33:31.920 --> 00:33:33.880
So the more you can and it's great for teams

672
00:33:33.920 --> 00:33:35.880
actually to like teams at work if you know that

673
00:33:35.920 --> 00:33:38.640
people aren't just just annoying you, they're actually they've got

674
00:33:38.680 --> 00:33:39.440
a different strength.

675
00:33:39.480 --> 00:33:42.279
You can actually complement each other's strength, especially.

676
00:33:41.839 --> 00:33:45.000
With things like public speaking or whatever may come up.

677
00:33:45.079 --> 00:33:48.839
Leading a meeting. You can just improves relationships.

678
00:33:48.839 --> 00:33:53.079
So there's that ripple effect again, that improving that positivity outwards,

679
00:33:53.839 --> 00:33:58.279
savoring the good stuff. So mindfulness is about just being

680
00:33:58.319 --> 00:34:00.480
present to what's happening. We've talked about these, even if

681
00:34:00.480 --> 00:34:02.759
it's not pleasant, just being able to be present to it.

682
00:34:03.200 --> 00:34:07.039
Savoring is when you deliberately focus on like sucking.

683
00:34:06.680 --> 00:34:09.639
Every bit of joy out of the positive.

684
00:34:09.159 --> 00:34:14.440
Moments, So being fully present to what you're witnessing, what

685
00:34:14.480 --> 00:34:17.519
you're experiencing, like being if you're looking at a beautiful sunset,

686
00:34:17.519 --> 00:34:19.199
if you're having a lovely cup of cove with a friend,

687
00:34:19.320 --> 00:34:21.800
not being on your phone. Actually I do this with

688
00:34:21.880 --> 00:34:24.599
the baby. Yeah, bringing your full awareness and your full

689
00:34:24.599 --> 00:34:28.000
attention into that moment, and you can actually savor not

690
00:34:28.119 --> 00:34:30.079
just experiences in the moment that that's great.

691
00:34:30.280 --> 00:34:32.480
You can also savor memories.

692
00:34:32.679 --> 00:34:36.039
You can relish a happy memory, or you can anticipate

693
00:34:36.400 --> 00:34:38.960
something really that you're looking forward to in the future.

694
00:34:39.039 --> 00:34:41.079
So that's a way to up your positivity kind of

695
00:34:41.119 --> 00:34:42.079
index as well.

696
00:34:42.480 --> 00:34:44.079
And easy and simple, easy.

697
00:34:44.199 --> 00:34:46.639
Yes, So instead of shifting, you know, instead of focusing

698
00:34:46.639 --> 00:34:47.800
on all the things I've got to do and how

699
00:34:47.840 --> 00:34:50.199
blow I am and all of that, like, actually really

700
00:34:50.239 --> 00:34:53.079
savor the good things that are there to be they're

701
00:34:53.119 --> 00:34:56.559
there to be had. So there's just a few ideas

702
00:34:56.599 --> 00:34:59.239
about how we can actually shift that balance away from

703
00:34:59.280 --> 00:35:01.519
the negative and more into the positive. And obviously there's

704
00:35:01.599 --> 00:35:04.599
lots of reasons why that's a good thing to do. Yeah,

705
00:35:04.639 --> 00:35:08.079
there's plenty of positive benefits of positivity, and so there's

706
00:35:08.119 --> 00:35:09.280
heaps of great strategies.

707
00:35:09.400 --> 00:35:12.039
Thank you, cas. I was feeling pretty crappy coming into

708
00:35:12.079 --> 00:35:15.559
this podcast with my broken ankle, but already I'm feeling

709
00:35:15.599 --> 00:35:18.039
more positive about it, and I'm going to implement some

710
00:35:18.079 --> 00:35:18.960
of those strategies.

711
00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:19.360
Thank you.

712
00:35:19.719 --> 00:35:22.639
That was episode one of season two Crappy to Happy,

713
00:35:22.760 --> 00:35:26.400
And if you like the episodes and you enjoy the program,

714
00:35:26.440 --> 00:35:28.559
then please get in touch, give us a rating, give

715
00:35:28.639 --> 00:35:29.280
us a review.

716
00:35:29.519 --> 00:35:32.480
We genuinely love to hear from you. This show is

717
00:35:32.480 --> 00:35:33.880
for you, so tell us what you think.

718
00:35:34.039 --> 00:35:37.119
Yeah, we want to help. Next up, we're talking mindfulness

719
00:35:37.159 --> 00:35:40.519
one oh one, the real basics of mindfulness and meditation.

720
00:35:41.119 --> 00:35:43.039
Thanks for being with us. We'll talk to you soon.

721
00:35:49.199 --> 00:35:51.920
Crappy to Happy is presented by Cash Done produced by

722
00:35:52.000 --> 00:36:00.480
David Vilenski, Audio production by Darcy Thompson. Listener