Nov. 21, 2021

Whole Brain Living with Dr Jill Bolte Taylor

Whole Brain Living with Dr Jill Bolte Taylor
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Whole Brain Living with Dr Jill Bolte Taylor
Whole Brain Living with Dr Jill Bolte Taylor
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Season 6 Psychology & Neuroscience Personal Growth & Healing

This week Cass Dunn chats with Harvard-trained and published neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor. Dr Taylor is most famous for her fascinating TED talk My stroke of insight, where she talked about her experience of having a stroke that caused her the left hemisphere of her brain to 'go offline'.In this chat Dr Taylor unpacks her new book Whole Brain Living, where she argues that we don’t just a left and right hemisphere, we actually have four brain quadrants - left thinking, left feeling and right thinking, right feeling.
She explains how getting to know these four ‘characters’ that live inside our brains can bring about life changing improvements to our sense of wellbeing and our ability to live life in a calm, present and playful state.
Connect with Dr Taylor:https://www.drjilltaylor.com/
Connect with Cass:www.crappytohappypod.comhello@crappytohappypod.com 
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypodwww.tiktok.com/crappytohappypod
Join the free 7-day Happiness Challenge:www.cassdunn.com/happiness

Connect with Cass:

www.cassdunn.com
www.instagram.com/cassdunn_xo

Contact Crappy to Happy:

Email: hello@crappytohappypod.com
www.crappytohappypod.com
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypod
www.tiktok.com/@crappytohappypod


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Transcript
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A listener production.

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This is Crappita Happy and I am your host Castunn.

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I'm a clinical and coaching psychologist, a mindfulness meditation teacher,

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and of course author of the Crappita Happy books. In

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this show, I bring you conversations with interesting, inspiring, intelligent

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people who are experts in their field and who have

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something of value to share that will help you feel

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less crappy and more happy. Today, I am thrilled to

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bring you a conversation with doctor Jill Balti Taylor. Doctor

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Taylor is a Harvard trained neuroscientist who one morning back

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in nineteen ninety six, suffered a stroke. The hemorrhage was

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in the left hemisphere of her brain, and it caused

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her to lose her ability to walk, talk, read, or write,

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and she spent eight years recovering from the stroke. But

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as a brain scientist, what happened over the course of

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four hours that morning was that she was able to

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witness in real time what was happening in her brain

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and how it was affecting her experience. Without the left

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brain online, she had no concept of time, which means

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she could only experience life in the present moment and

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without the left brain's ability to distinguish boundaries between herself

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and the world. She had a sense of herself as

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vast and expansive and limitless. She gave a ted talk

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about her experience which you may have seen, called My

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Stroke of Insight. It has since been viewed almost thirty

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million times. It is really worth watching if you haven't

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seen it, and she also wrote a book called My

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Stroke of Insight. More recently, though, she has written a

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new book called Whole Brain Living.

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And in Whole Brain.

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Living, she explains how we don't actually only have a

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left and a right half of our brain. We have

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four brain quadrants, and each of them has its own function.

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So there's left thinking and feeling and right thinking and feeling.

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And when you can understan stand and relate to each

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of these four characters that live inside your own head,

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you're able to understand what's driving your own behaviors.

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And also you're able to more consciously direct your awareness

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to the areas that are more likely to give you

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an experience of life that is more calm and present

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and joyful.

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So, without further ado, I am thrilled to bring you

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doctor Jill Balty Taylor, Doctor Jill Bolty Taylor. It is

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such an honor to have you join us on the

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Crappy to Happy Podcast. Thank you so much for taking

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the time to be with us today.

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You're WelCom I'm excited. Who doesn't want to go from

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Crappy to Happy?

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Exactly? I'm in, Exactly, I'm in.

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Yeah, let's talk about that.

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Let's talk about that. No, it is.

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It's a great concept and hence, while we have a

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very loyal listenership, so Jill and I did ask you

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if you don't mind me calling you Jill, So thank

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you for that. I always feel like everybody knows who

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you are, but for those who may not. You essentially

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gave the Ted talk that was the first Ted tok

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to ever go viral, and essentially was the Ted talk

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that made Ted famous?

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Am I right that?

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Really? Yeah? I'm a Jill. I always thought I was

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looking for a Jack. I was really looking for Ted.

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Ted and I exploded into the world together in two

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thousand and eight, and it was bam. I mean it

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was amazing. Prior to that, there were only five or

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six talks on the website, and they were over the

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last twenty first twenty years of Ted and then it

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was our conference, and they told us, you know, there's

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fifty to fifty chance you'll get put on the internet.

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And it was like, well, if you do a you know,

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if you're bomb, you don't have to worry. You won't

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go up. But I got up and I went boom

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into the world. It was amazing.

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The Ted talk was brilliant.

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There's a good reason why it just went as it

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was popular as it was. And obviously the topic was

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about the stroke that you had, your experience of having

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a stroke as a brain scientist, So would you mind

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just giving us kind of the in a nuteal version

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of what you experienced that day that you had this.

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Yes.

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Well, I studied the brain because I have a brother

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diagnosed with schizophrenia, and so I grew up thinking about

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the brain and wondering what is the difference between my

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brother's brain and my brain, because it had to be biological.

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He's the closest thing to me that exists in the universe.

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So I began to study the brain. And so I

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was teaching and performing research at Harvard Medical School, and

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I woke up one day in the area of my

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specialty was how does our brain create our perception of reality.

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And it's kind of like, be careful what you ask for,

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because the universe is going to say, okay, little girl,

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you want to know how your brain creates reality. Let's

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unravel your perception of reality, your ability to process information

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in a normal way. So it was a profound experience.

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On the morning of the stroke, I could not walk, talk, read, write,

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or recall any of my life. I became completely shifted

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out of the natural abilities of the left hemisphere, that

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is the portion of our brain that connects us to language,

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to me the individual, to I can remember a history

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and my relationship with the external world. So that was

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all gone. But in the absence of that left hemisphere

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was this experience of the present moment, untethered, uninhibited by

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a past and a future. And even though everybody else

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was freaking out because oh my gosh, Jill's now in

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a vegetative condition, I felt that I was fine and

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that everybody else was experiencing all of this pain and

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all of this judgment, and it was fascinating. I mean,

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through the eyes of a scientist, losing half your mind

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was literally a very interesting and exciting and profound experience.

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And I think that's what you described so beautifully in

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the Ted talk was the what was going on in

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real time for you, Oh, I'm having a stroke.

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Wow, cool, I'm having a stroke.

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Like I get to know to experience this and then

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obviously report back to all of us what that was like.

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And Jill, what you described was this like as you

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just said, this dissolving of boundaries between you and everything,

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like between you and the universe and no past or

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or future, just the present, and that that was really

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kind of like a blissful like it was amazing.

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Yes, it is when when you consider the you know,

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the brain is made up of this magnificent collection of cells,

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and cells communicate with other cells in circuits with chemicals,

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the neurotransmitters, and every ability that we have, be it

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language or the ability to move my hands or to

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see visually, every ability we have is dependent on a

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specific group of cells performing their function. So the cells

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in the left hemisphere when they went offline, that's where

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my language is, so my ability to say, I I

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am Jill Bolty Taylor, I am an individual, I and

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everything related to me, the colors I like to wear,

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my likes and dislikes, what my definition of right and

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wrong and good and bad. How do I take the

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experience of the present moment and break it up into

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different pieces so that I can communicate about it, measure it,

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use it. And there's also a group of cells in

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the left parietal region that is where all the sensory

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systems come together, and it creates a holographic image of

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my body in space. And so the left hemisphere defines

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the boundaries of where I begin and where I end

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as me Gibralti Taylor, the individual, and everything gets processed

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that comes in through my sensory systems, through that filter

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of me and mine. What is mine? What is my job?

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What is my address? What is my phone number? Who

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are my friends? What team am I jeering for? What

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is my political affiliation? What is my country? All of

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that me me, me individual, left hemisphere. Those are simply

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artificial boundaries. So without the stress of what is right

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and what is wrong, and what is good and what

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is bad? And where do I begin and where do

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I end? I shifted into just the experience of the

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present moment. I became open and expansive. There was no

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molecular differentiation or boundary between me and you or anyone

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else around me or anything else around me. Everything just

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broke down to the particulate matter of what the universe

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is made of, and that's how that right brain processes.

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So there is no me and mine. There's just the

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we and the us and the life and the energy

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of that life, and just the right and the left

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perceptions of ourselves as individuals versus a part of a

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collective whole.

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Would you describe it as because what you're describing, you're

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describing it in times of cellular function and brain biology.

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But would you describe it as a spiritual experience because

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that's what it sounds like.

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Well, that's the language that people who use that language

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would use. I don't use that language. Well, for me,

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it was not a near death experience, even though I

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was as disconnected from my body and brain as a

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person could be and still be alive. But I didn't

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have the typical light white light and seeing a others

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and I didn't see any of that. I didn't have

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that experience, So don't use that language as a scientist,

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as a brain scientist, as a lover of the anatomy.

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I'm more comfortable actually talking about it through my scholastic

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academic educational perspective. Yes, other people would say, oh, absolutely,

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Jombalti Taylor had a spiritual experience. She had the experience

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of enlightenment. You know all that language, But I don't

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study that, so I'm not an expert in that. I

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am a scientist. I was trained as a scientist, and

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I think at a cellular level. And even though I

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lost my academics and my languaging and what I learned

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in the books, half of my learning is the experiential

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processing of the right hemisphere. So as a gross anatomist,

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a body could ever lab anatomist, I could have sculpted

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for you the abdomen because that's what the right brain

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would know experience in the three dimension of it all.

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But my left hemisphere went offline, so I could not

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have named for you the different parts of a stomach.

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So I had to go back to school to put

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the language in the terminology and the things that the

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left brain does. On my education, I think anybody in

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who's comfortable with the language of spirituality would definitely say

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this was a spiritual experience. I had an experience of enlightenment,

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but enlightenment, the true definition of enlightenment is presence. I

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became present, and we have this choice moment by moment,

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am I in my past? Many of us spend most

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of our lives somewhere in the past, or projecting off

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into the future, or in some philosophical idea that isn't

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here at all. Right, very few of us spend very

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much time in the right here, right now, present moment.

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And if you and I are to truly connect with

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one another there as human beings, we do that in

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the present moment. We pray in the present, we laugh

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in the present, we love in the present, we share

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in the present. And it's particularly hard at this point

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in time because we live in a world of distraction,

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with billions of bits of data trying to get our attention,

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and it's even harder than it was before to actually

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stay present and be in connection with another exactly exactly.

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And I ask that question because obviously, I mean, I teach,

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and I practice meditation and mindfulness. You know, have an

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interest in Buddhism and Buddhist psychology, and it just strikes

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me that a lot of what people are striving for

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with these practices, these contemplative traditions, is like just what

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you experienced them and.

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Isn't it interesting that we've been doing these practices mindfulness

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and meditation for centuries. People have found it necessary to

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use these practices to bring our minds back into the

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present moment because we are biologically programmed to not be

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in the present with this left brain. And as our

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society has accelerated itself in speed because of technology and

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because of the ways that we communicate with one another,

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that left brain just runs wild. It just goes goes

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at a speed and a pace. And we're all so busy,

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and we're doing this, and we're doing that, and we're

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all over the place, and we're all over the map,

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and we're all over and then there are these enormous

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problems that are happening because we're playing catch up to

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the things that we're creating that are so interesting and

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innovative and keeping us busy, busy, busy. But that busy

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busyness has had a profound impact on the speed at

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which we're functioning and our quality of life, which hence

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is why you have a podcast called From Crappy to

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Happy because we need it because we're inundated. So how

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do we get out of that left brain stress and busy,

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busy processing and the acceleration of self into the peaceful

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experience of the present moment, because in the present moment

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there is no right and wrong and good and bad

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and judgment coming at me. It's I can breathe so true.

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And you know, the name of your ted talk and

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the book that came out following that experience was my

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stroke of insight?

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What was the greatest insight?

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And I guess you know, how did your life change

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as a result, How did the way you live your

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life change as a result of which the stroke of

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the the stroke and.

250
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Side and the subsequents. Yeah, well I lost the left hemisphere,

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and so I lost me the individual. And so you

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know here I was Harvard trained, climbing the Harvard Ladder.

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I lost my job. I lost climbing the ladder. I

254
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lost my edge. I lost everything that I was climbing

255
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the ladder to attain as a societal norm. But what

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I gained was this incredible sense of peace and this

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awareness that there is this incredible sense of peace at

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the core of who I am. And what that means

259
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is there's this incredible sense of peace at the core

260
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of who we are. And so for me, you know, meditation,

261
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If we meditate. To me, meditation is quieting the left

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brain enough so that the right brain circuits can become dominant.

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And there was all kinds of beautiful research done, some

264
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by Andy Neuberg in particular, who wrote a book, a

265
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great book called Why God Won't Go Away, And he

266
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did beautiful research, and they were looking for if we

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quiet the left brain and we find God, is there

268
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a god center of peace that we want to hook

269
00:15:54.559 --> 00:15:57.279
into and turn on? And what it was was, no,

270
00:15:57.840 --> 00:16:00.639
what you have to do is quiet the noise. So

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it's kind of like a radio station. If you really

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want quiet, you got to turn the left brain off.

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You got to turn all those channels, all that chatter,

274
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all that busyness, all those fears of the future and

275
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angers from the past and all that. You got to

276
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quiet that down in order to really experience the peaceful,

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quiet nature of the present moment. The beauty of the

278
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human brain is that we can consciously choose to focus

279
00:16:26.600 --> 00:16:30.080
on something of choice, and I can focus my attention

280
00:16:30.200 --> 00:16:33.759
on my senses and on my breath and bring myself

281
00:16:33.799 --> 00:16:36.600
to the right here, right now, and I can choose

282
00:16:36.720 --> 00:16:38.960
to stay there as long as I want except then

283
00:16:38.960 --> 00:16:41.879
there's that left brain going, hey, we're busy. We got

284
00:16:41.919 --> 00:16:44.120
three things we need to get done before lunch is out,

285
00:16:44.120 --> 00:16:45.639
and we're behind, and da da da da, And then

286
00:16:45.639 --> 00:16:46.759
we got to do this, and then we got to

287
00:16:46.759 --> 00:16:49.240
pick up the kids, and damn, I didn't pick up

288
00:16:49.279 --> 00:16:51.399
the laundry this morning. And no, da da da da

289
00:16:51.480 --> 00:16:54.320
da da, you know, and it's like no, And I'm

290
00:16:54.360 --> 00:16:57.279
just going to bring my mind back to this moment

291
00:16:57.360 --> 00:16:59.440
of peacefulness. And we all know what this tug of

292
00:16:59.600 --> 00:17:02.200
war on flick feels like inside of our head.

293
00:17:02.720 --> 00:17:03.320
Yeah, we do.

294
00:17:04.440 --> 00:17:06.920
And you talk a lot about left brain right brain,

295
00:17:07.079 --> 00:17:09.519
and I think we as a society talk a lot

296
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about left.

297
00:17:10.039 --> 00:17:10.720
Brain right brain.

298
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And you mentioned it in your newest book, The Whole

299
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Brain Living, that there was this real emphasis on, you know,

300
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drawing on the right side of the brain and accessing

301
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the right side of the brain. You have taken that

302
00:17:21.440 --> 00:17:24.759
one step further. And I find this so interesting and

303
00:17:25.359 --> 00:17:28.880
suggest that in fact, there are four quadrants in our

304
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brain and that really what we need to be doing

305
00:17:32.559 --> 00:17:35.559
is understanding all those four functions, not as this left

306
00:17:35.640 --> 00:17:39.559
right duality. Can you please describe the.

307
00:17:40.160 --> 00:17:44.079
Four Yes, So the myth has been you know, what

308
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we've all been trained to believe is that the right

309
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brain is creative. It's open and expansive, it is artistic,

310
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it's innovative, it's all these thinking out of the box, right,

311
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But it's emotional. And then the left brain is right.

312
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It's our analytical thinking, it's our language, it's our organizational skills,

313
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it's our control. Control details, details, more details about those details.

314
00:18:10.839 --> 00:18:13.000
So forty years ago, I would go out and I'd

315
00:18:13.000 --> 00:18:15.519
talk about the brain, and people would like look around

316
00:18:15.559 --> 00:18:17.759
and look down. It's like, oh my god, you know brain,

317
00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:20.720
you know, right brain. Well people now like to talk

318
00:18:20.720 --> 00:18:23.640
about the brain, so that's good. But so people know

319
00:18:24.000 --> 00:18:26.759
about the amygdala. But I realized that one of my

320
00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:29.640
presentations was I said, but the fact of the matter

321
00:18:29.720 --> 00:18:33.000
is we have two amygdala, one in each hemisphere. And

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00:18:33.039 --> 00:18:36.200
there was literally an audible gasp in the room and

323
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I thought, oh my gosh, that's the key. People think

324
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we have a amigdala, a emotional system. Well we don't.

325
00:18:44.759 --> 00:18:49.480
We have two emotional systems that are complete mirror images

326
00:18:49.519 --> 00:18:52.880
of one another in each of those hemispheres. So that

327
00:18:53.039 --> 00:18:56.480
means we have an emotional system in the right brain,

328
00:18:56.680 --> 00:18:58.880
and we also in the left brain, and we also

329
00:18:58.920 --> 00:19:02.559
have thinking tissue that gets added on top of that

330
00:19:02.640 --> 00:19:06.160
emotional inside of the human And when new tissue gets

331
00:19:06.200 --> 00:19:10.519
added on top of old tissue, it's designed to refine

332
00:19:10.799 --> 00:19:15.039
and help differentiate what is below it. So we have

333
00:19:15.160 --> 00:19:18.279
these thinking brains. So what that means is we have

334
00:19:18.839 --> 00:19:24.039
four groups of cells that are completely intra connected to themselves.

335
00:19:24.319 --> 00:19:28.559
They have independent functions and skill sets, and they actually

336
00:19:28.680 --> 00:19:32.559
feel different inside of our body. So and there's four

337
00:19:32.559 --> 00:19:35.680
of them, the too emotional and the two thinking. So

338
00:19:35.839 --> 00:19:38.279
what's the basic difference between the right brain and the

339
00:19:38.359 --> 00:19:41.960
left brain. The left brain's all about me, so it's

340
00:19:41.960 --> 00:19:45.799
about my past, it's about my future. So the emotions

341
00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:49.640
in the left hemisphere are about me the individual, and

342
00:19:49.720 --> 00:19:53.160
my past in my future. So all of my pain,

343
00:19:53.440 --> 00:19:56.799
all of my joys, all of my memories of emotional

344
00:19:57.400 --> 00:20:01.000
are in that emotional system of the left. And then

345
00:20:01.039 --> 00:20:05.039
the left thinking tissue is all about me in relationship

346
00:20:05.079 --> 00:20:08.759
to the external world. So in the left right I

347
00:20:08.799 --> 00:20:12.920
call these characters one and characters two. Character one is

348
00:20:12.960 --> 00:20:17.440
that left thinking tissue. It is our a type personality,

349
00:20:17.559 --> 00:20:21.799
It has language, it has me, my identity. Everything gets

350
00:20:21.839 --> 00:20:26.039
processed analytically. Through that, it defines what is right, what

351
00:20:26.200 --> 00:20:28.400
is wrong, what is good, what is bad. It is

352
00:20:28.480 --> 00:20:32.119
all about organizing the external world. In my relationship with

353
00:20:32.200 --> 00:20:36.440
the external world, it likes to control people, places, and things.

354
00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:39.079
It likes to get its own way. It likes to

355
00:20:39.119 --> 00:20:39.759
be the boss.

356
00:20:41.000 --> 00:20:43.799
Do you know that part of yourself reasonably well? Yet

357
00:20:44.279 --> 00:20:46.680
we are, we are acquainted. We are acquainted again.

358
00:20:49.359 --> 00:20:52.279
Yeah, So I encourage people to give that part of

359
00:20:52.319 --> 00:20:55.519
yourself a name. I call mine Helen. It's short for

360
00:20:55.599 --> 00:20:59.720
hell on wheels. She gets it done. She's busy, right,

361
00:21:00.119 --> 00:21:02.519
and if I need to get stuff done, I'm not

362
00:21:02.559 --> 00:21:05.559
gonna pull out my right brain characters to like go

363
00:21:05.720 --> 00:21:09.720
organize the office. Helen needs to go to work, right,

364
00:21:09.839 --> 00:21:13.400
So Helen wants to get on the calendar. So character

365
00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:17.839
one is that type a get it done personality. Character

366
00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:21.480
two is my pain from the past. It's all the emotion,

367
00:21:22.119 --> 00:21:25.799
all the trauma, all the joys, all the laughters, all

368
00:21:25.839 --> 00:21:30.680
the relationships, everything. It's it's a craving. It's my craving.

369
00:21:30.759 --> 00:21:36.039
It's my addiction to anything. It's happiness is determined and

370
00:21:36.160 --> 00:21:40.880
dependent on external circumstances. So let's I'm gonna have a

371
00:21:40.920 --> 00:21:43.359
picnic with you. We're gonna go for a picnic, but

372
00:21:43.440 --> 00:21:46.319
it's raining out, and so my little character too now

373
00:21:46.440 --> 00:21:49.160
is not very happy because I don't want that picnic

374
00:21:49.240 --> 00:21:52.640
in the rain, right, because so I'm not happy based

375
00:21:52.640 --> 00:21:56.359
on the external or I am happy because the sun

376
00:21:56.440 --> 00:21:59.119
is shining and we're gonna go have a picnic. So

377
00:21:59.599 --> 00:22:02.880
character one and character two about me the individual. It

378
00:22:02.960 --> 00:22:07.640
has linearity across time and characters want and characters two

379
00:22:07.759 --> 00:22:09.720
do you know your unhappy little self? Yeah do?

380
00:22:10.400 --> 00:22:10.920
Yeah?

381
00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:15.160
Yeah, I think we all do, don't we Yeah. Character

382
00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:18.000
three and four are in the right brain. Well, they're

383
00:22:18.039 --> 00:22:21.440
not about me the individual. They're about the collective whole.

384
00:22:21.839 --> 00:22:25.359
They don't even process me as an individual. They're about

385
00:22:25.400 --> 00:22:31.319
the emotional experience of the present moment. So character three

386
00:22:31.480 --> 00:22:35.680
is the emotional tissue of the present moment, which really

387
00:22:35.839 --> 00:22:39.759
isn't emotional at all. It's experiential. What does it feel

388
00:22:39.839 --> 00:22:43.279
like to have this sweatshirt on my skin? What does

389
00:22:43.319 --> 00:22:46.839
it feel like to have glasses on my face? What

390
00:22:47.000 --> 00:22:50.119
is the temperature of the air, What is the humidity

391
00:22:50.319 --> 00:22:52.720
of the air. How does it feel for me to

392
00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:57.359
position myself in this chair? All that the experience of

393
00:22:57.400 --> 00:23:01.200
the present moment. It's also an adrenaline junkie, because you know,

394
00:23:01.359 --> 00:23:03.559
it doesn't want to get bored. It wants excitement. Right,

395
00:23:03.599 --> 00:23:05.680
So it's going to say, cas, let's go like jump

396
00:23:05.720 --> 00:23:08.079
off some cliffs and let's go hang gliding, and let's

397
00:23:08.079 --> 00:23:10.400
go play, and let's go get into trouble. And it's

398
00:23:10.440 --> 00:23:13.599
all right here, right now, and it's spontaneous. And so

399
00:23:13.599 --> 00:23:17.000
so let's say a snake goes by and I have

400
00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:19.720
a fit, Well, I have the fit in the present

401
00:23:19.880 --> 00:23:24.880
moment because of that potential danger. Or let's say, let's

402
00:23:24.880 --> 00:23:27.759
say a really wild one. Let's say I come home

403
00:23:27.960 --> 00:23:30.839
and I find my spouse is cheating on me, and

404
00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:34.880
I kill them right in the present moment. So a

405
00:23:34.920 --> 00:23:38.880
lot of the character threes. It is this joyful, happy,

406
00:23:38.920 --> 00:23:42.240
wild acceptance of what is in the present moment. But

407
00:23:42.400 --> 00:23:46.200
also our jails are filled with people who made very

408
00:23:46.240 --> 00:23:50.599
bad decisions in the present moment. Cha, right, So it's

409
00:23:50.640 --> 00:23:53.200
not all good, but it's not all bad. But it's

410
00:23:53.279 --> 00:23:56.039
right here, right now, and it's not defined by right

411
00:23:56.079 --> 00:23:58.720
and wrong and good and bad. It's about my reactivity

412
00:23:59.079 --> 00:24:01.799
to the experience of the present moment. And it's very

413
00:24:01.799 --> 00:24:05.000
playful and it's very curious, and it's very innovative, and

414
00:24:05.039 --> 00:24:07.119
it thinks out of the box because the box is

415
00:24:07.279 --> 00:24:10.759
defined by the left brain. So that's character three. Do

416
00:24:10.799 --> 00:24:14.160
you know your low, playful self? Yeah, yeah, you and

417
00:24:14.240 --> 00:24:17.759
I will probably play together as little threes. And then

418
00:24:17.880 --> 00:24:20.920
character four is going to be the thinking tissue of

419
00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:23.880
the present moment. And this is the place we pray

420
00:24:24.480 --> 00:24:27.880
to get to. It is the piece. It is the acceptance,

421
00:24:28.039 --> 00:24:33.839
the nurturing, the supportive, the compassionate nature of ourselves. Oh

422
00:24:33.880 --> 00:24:38.599
my gosh, I'm alive. Whatever's happening in characters one, two,

423
00:24:38.640 --> 00:24:42.119
and three, that's what they'll own wild circuitry. But my

424
00:24:42.319 --> 00:24:45.720
character four is at peace and at bliss with the

425
00:24:45.799 --> 00:24:49.279
fact that I exist at all. I am this amazing

426
00:24:49.359 --> 00:24:54.279
collection of some fifty trillion beautiful molecular genius is capable

427
00:24:54.319 --> 00:24:58.119
of speaking and seeing and communicating with another person. Oh

428
00:24:58.160 --> 00:24:59.960
my gosh, and you're on the other side of the place.

429
00:25:00.680 --> 00:25:05.680
And what a blessing it is that we exist at all.

430
00:25:06.079 --> 00:25:09.440
And it is that sense of gratitude that I can

431
00:25:09.759 --> 00:25:14.480
totally embody and be enveloped as, oh my gosh, I'm alive.

432
00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:16.279
Do you know that part of your self cast.

433
00:25:16.160 --> 00:25:19.359
Yeah, that's the pot that we don't spend anywhere near

434
00:25:19.480 --> 00:25:20.799
enough time in.

435
00:25:21.880 --> 00:25:24.119
We don't know how to find it. That's the only

436
00:25:24.200 --> 00:25:27.920
thing we think we have to do. Meditation. Well, I

437
00:25:27.960 --> 00:25:30.000
don't know. I can't meditate. You're not going to get

438
00:25:30.039 --> 00:25:32.680
me to sit down and meditate. You're gonna get me

439
00:25:32.839 --> 00:25:36.200
in a natural meditation. As I walk through the woods

440
00:25:36.440 --> 00:25:40.799
and I just explore, and I meet the creatures with gratitude,

441
00:25:41.079 --> 00:25:45.400
and I just admire, and I respect, and I let

442
00:25:45.480 --> 00:25:48.559
love come into me. And I feel open and expansive

443
00:25:48.559 --> 00:25:50.839
on the top of a mountain, or I feel open

444
00:25:50.880 --> 00:25:55.359
and expansive at the ocean. This is this feeling that

445
00:25:55.440 --> 00:26:00.279
we get. And if we're using our left brain and saying, okay,

446
00:26:00.400 --> 00:26:02.680
my character for has to feel just like this and

447
00:26:02.720 --> 00:26:06.039
this is ABCDEFG I have to go through in order

448
00:26:06.119 --> 00:26:08.480
to get to that. It's like, well, that's way too

449
00:26:08.599 --> 00:26:11.680
much left brain work. Right, you cannot use your left

450
00:26:11.680 --> 00:26:14.160
brain to get to your right brain. You have to

451
00:26:14.279 --> 00:26:17.480
set down and say to your left brain, you're here,

452
00:26:17.680 --> 00:26:20.240
You're on, You're always on. I'm good with you. I'm

453
00:26:20.240 --> 00:26:24.200
grateful that you're here. But in this moment, I'm bringing

454
00:26:24.279 --> 00:26:27.079
myself to the present moment, and I'm going to feel

455
00:26:27.240 --> 00:26:31.480
this enormous sense of gratitude for the fact that I

456
00:26:31.519 --> 00:26:35.000
am a living being. Oh my god.

457
00:26:39.000 --> 00:26:42.319
I hope that you're enjoying this conversation and realizing the

458
00:26:42.319 --> 00:26:45.240
benefits of positivity in your own life. If you are

459
00:26:45.359 --> 00:26:48.079
enjoying the show, please be sure to like and subscribe

460
00:26:48.119 --> 00:26:50.759
so that you get notified when you epsdrop and head

461
00:26:50.759 --> 00:26:53.079
on over to Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen and

462
00:26:53.160 --> 00:27:03.119
leave us a rating and review. So, Jill, you talk

463
00:27:03.200 --> 00:27:07.440
about you mentioned you've got Helen and so giving you

464
00:27:07.480 --> 00:27:09.720
and you suggest, you know, we give these characters the

465
00:27:09.799 --> 00:27:12.440
names so we learn to relate to these different aspects

466
00:27:12.480 --> 00:27:16.200
of ourselves in our own brains. I'm just curious to know, like,

467
00:27:16.640 --> 00:27:19.279
is that just because that's fun to do, or is

468
00:27:19.279 --> 00:27:22.559
it because there is some scientific kind of reason why

469
00:27:22.759 --> 00:27:27.960
that is helpful to give them names and treat them

470
00:27:28.079 --> 00:27:30.400
as separate kind of characters.

471
00:27:31.839 --> 00:27:38.880
They are separate characters, and when we acknowledge them, they

472
00:27:38.920 --> 00:27:43.559
relax such they exist. It's like, you know, I'm not

473
00:27:43.640 --> 00:27:46.640
a natural character. One, Well, I really am, but I'm

474
00:27:46.640 --> 00:27:48.880
more of a character. Three. I want to be playful,

475
00:27:48.880 --> 00:27:51.079
I want to be open I'm more of a character four.

476
00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:53.160
I let things come to me. I'm not gonna go

477
00:27:53.200 --> 00:27:56.440
boom boom boom, chase, Chase, Chase. So we all have

478
00:27:56.559 --> 00:27:58.599
all four of these characters. We all have all four

479
00:27:58.599 --> 00:28:01.400
of these parts of our brain. And the ultimate goal

480
00:28:01.680 --> 00:28:05.359
in my opinion, as for the evolution of humanity, and

481
00:28:05.400 --> 00:28:07.839
that's what we're talking about here, is how do I

482
00:28:07.960 --> 00:28:12.319
evolve myself into my best self? Well, my best self

483
00:28:12.359 --> 00:28:14.680
is going to be all of me. I don't want

484
00:28:14.680 --> 00:28:16.799
to get rid of my pain from the past. I

485
00:28:16.920 --> 00:28:19.640
learned lessons from that part of who I am, and

486
00:28:19.720 --> 00:28:22.000
when that part comes out I need to use the

487
00:28:22.079 --> 00:28:25.799
other three parts of me to love and support that

488
00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:29.079
part of me. The character one will come in and say,

489
00:28:29.079 --> 00:28:30.839
how do I fix it? What do you need? Are

490
00:28:30.880 --> 00:28:31.640
we in danger?

491
00:28:31.880 --> 00:28:31.960
No?

492
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:35.240
Character two is just miserable because the sun's not shining

493
00:28:35.279 --> 00:28:37.880
and you can't make the sunshine. Now about that picnic.

494
00:28:38.119 --> 00:28:40.640
But character one's going to come in and says, say,

495
00:28:40.720 --> 00:28:42.960
you know, offer other options, like, well, maybe we can

496
00:28:43.039 --> 00:28:46.200
hold the picnic indoors, and we could do this and

497
00:28:46.240 --> 00:28:47.839
that and the other, and we can make it fun

498
00:28:47.960 --> 00:28:50.640
or whatever. Character four is going to come in and

499
00:28:50.799 --> 00:28:54.480
just love that little character too as self soothing. When

500
00:28:54.519 --> 00:28:57.680
I'm unhappy, when I'm stressed, when I'm miserable, when I'm

501
00:28:57.720 --> 00:29:01.400
caught up in my character two. It's not anyone's job

502
00:29:01.480 --> 00:29:04.839
in the external world to soothe me. It is my

503
00:29:05.079 --> 00:29:10.559
responsibility of me as a whole brain, to take responsibility

504
00:29:10.599 --> 00:29:14.599
from my own hostility. Character two is a really important

505
00:29:14.640 --> 00:29:17.000
part of who we are because it shows us one

506
00:29:17.759 --> 00:29:21.440
that doesn't feel right, that's not good. I need to

507
00:29:21.480 --> 00:29:25.160
scream and get loud. I need the attention brought to

508
00:29:25.319 --> 00:29:28.440
this subject. But it's not going to rationalize. After it

509
00:29:28.519 --> 00:29:32.200
has done its explosion and brought our attention to the

510
00:29:32.240 --> 00:29:35.640
fact that we're not happy about something, then it's time

511
00:29:35.720 --> 00:29:38.559
to settle that one down and shift into the other

512
00:29:38.640 --> 00:29:42.920
parts of ourselves to be able to negotiate rationally with

513
00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:45.920
the world around us. Because the world around us is

514
00:29:45.960 --> 00:29:49.200
filled with characters one, twos, threes, and fours. And if

515
00:29:49.279 --> 00:29:52.839
each of us has four characters, then that means just

516
00:29:52.920 --> 00:29:55.440
me and you. We got eight of us in here together.

517
00:29:56.079 --> 00:29:59.039
And maybe our character ones get along well, and maybe

518
00:29:59.079 --> 00:30:02.960
our character three get along well. And maybe I'm hyper

519
00:30:03.000 --> 00:30:05.559
sensitive to certain things that you do, and so I

520
00:30:05.680 --> 00:30:08.480
spend more time in my character too, and you're looking

521
00:30:08.519 --> 00:30:10.480
at me, going, well, you know, Jill spends a lot

522
00:30:10.480 --> 00:30:12.480
of time in our character too, not being very happy,

523
00:30:12.519 --> 00:30:14.559
and that's really kind of a dragon. So I don't

524
00:30:14.559 --> 00:30:17.119
want to hang out with Jill anymore. And you know,

525
00:30:17.160 --> 00:30:21.000
and this is what happens in marriage, right, There's four

526
00:30:21.039 --> 00:30:23.759
of us, some of us fall in love with one another,

527
00:30:23.799 --> 00:30:27.160
and then the little twos up roar their heads and

528
00:30:27.200 --> 00:30:29.799
then it's like, well, honey, I can't manage you when

529
00:30:29.799 --> 00:30:32.480
you go into your two, and that makes the two

530
00:30:32.559 --> 00:30:35.119
even worse because the two just needs to be loved

531
00:30:35.160 --> 00:30:39.160
by your four or by my four, you know. So

532
00:30:39.400 --> 00:30:43.079
these are tools and how to interact with ourselves and

533
00:30:43.119 --> 00:30:44.960
then in relationship with others.

534
00:30:46.359 --> 00:30:49.880
I really like this idea of giving them names and

535
00:30:50.240 --> 00:30:52.839
relating to them as full characters, because I think the

536
00:30:52.920 --> 00:30:55.880
thing that what most people experience is all of these,

537
00:30:56.839 --> 00:31:00.240
like you said before, all of these contradicting ideas back

538
00:31:00.279 --> 00:31:02.160
and forth and noise in our own heads. And I

539
00:31:02.160 --> 00:31:03.480
want to do this, but I want to do that.

540
00:31:03.559 --> 00:31:05.119
I feel like I should do this, but what I

541
00:31:05.160 --> 00:31:07.440
really want is that, But if we can actually step back,

542
00:31:07.440 --> 00:31:11.359
and it is essentially mindfulness, but like to observe what's

543
00:31:11.359 --> 00:31:14.440
happening and be able to relate to that and go, oh,

544
00:31:14.480 --> 00:31:15.519
I see what's happening here.

545
00:31:15.559 --> 00:31:18.160
This is this part of me. He wants that, and

546
00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:18.880
this is why.

547
00:31:19.079 --> 00:31:23.440
Yeah, and this is why it's Character three wants one

548
00:31:23.480 --> 00:31:27.640
thing because of what it values. Character three, let's say,

549
00:31:27.720 --> 00:31:29.799
wants to go to a party, wants to go play,

550
00:31:30.079 --> 00:31:31.640
and it wants to go to a party and play

551
00:31:31.680 --> 00:31:34.359
because it wants to connect with others because the right

552
00:31:34.440 --> 00:31:37.319
brain is connected to all that is, and so it

553
00:31:37.640 --> 00:31:41.759
likes to be in relationship with other people. Well, maybe

554
00:31:41.880 --> 00:31:44.480
I ought to stay home and study instead, Right, I

555
00:31:44.519 --> 00:31:47.519
got a test tomorrow, and so character one is going,

556
00:31:47.920 --> 00:31:51.079
you know, we have a test tomorrow and we need

557
00:31:51.160 --> 00:31:54.279
to get some work done. And so we go, we in,

558
00:31:54.480 --> 00:31:58.000
so they negotiate, right, and they say, Character three says, well,

559
00:31:58.000 --> 00:31:59.920
I really want to go to the party. And it's like, okay,

560
00:32:00.200 --> 00:32:01.759
we'll go to the party, but we're not going to

561
00:32:01.799 --> 00:32:04.079
drink any alcohol because we got to come home and

562
00:32:04.119 --> 00:32:06.160
we've got to be home by nine because we need

563
00:32:06.200 --> 00:32:08.359
to get a couple of hours of study in for

564
00:32:08.440 --> 00:32:12.240
the test tomorrow. And then character three says, well, Okay,

565
00:32:12.680 --> 00:32:15.839
I'm okay with that, and character one can relax because

566
00:32:16.039 --> 00:32:18.799
it's going to get the study done. And by naming

567
00:32:18.839 --> 00:32:22.640
these characters and actually recognizing that they want what they

568
00:32:22.680 --> 00:32:26.680
want because of what they value, then we realize all

569
00:32:26.759 --> 00:32:30.880
parts of us has value. And when it comes to

570
00:32:30.920 --> 00:32:35.839
a conflict or an internal negotiation, and that process is

571
00:32:35.960 --> 00:32:39.440
essentially what I call the brain huddle. That's bringing all

572
00:32:39.480 --> 00:32:44.079
four characters into a conversation with one another and making

573
00:32:44.319 --> 00:32:49.240
decisions so that everybody's on board. And I can guarantee

574
00:32:49.279 --> 00:32:51.640
you as soon as you do a brain huddle and

575
00:32:51.680 --> 00:32:54.960
you get character four into the game, you're going to

576
00:32:55.039 --> 00:32:58.440
make your best choice because that's the best part of

577
00:32:58.480 --> 00:33:03.920
who you are as love and and okwardness and calm.

578
00:33:04.400 --> 00:33:11.039
Yeah, we're pretty left brain dominant right in the world

579
00:33:11.119 --> 00:33:11.799
that we live in.

580
00:33:12.519 --> 00:33:14.799
And I'm just curious to know. I mean, I probably

581
00:33:14.799 --> 00:33:15.319
shouldn't have this.

582
00:33:15.319 --> 00:33:20.079
I'm psychologists, but but we come and ask who said that?

583
00:33:20.480 --> 00:33:23.880
Who said that? Oh, who said that? Who just said that?

584
00:33:24.319 --> 00:33:27.240
Somebody said that about your character? What you know, it's

585
00:33:27.279 --> 00:33:29.759
like judgment, we're gonna make judgment. I should have known

586
00:33:29.759 --> 00:33:30.119
about that.

587
00:33:30.920 --> 00:33:33.400
It's so interesting how much I've been observing.

588
00:33:33.319 --> 00:33:36.319
Your character too, and then your character too got to

589
00:33:36.400 --> 00:33:38.200
decide if you were really going to get down on

590
00:33:38.240 --> 00:33:39.759
yourself or if you were going to let it go.

591
00:33:40.960 --> 00:33:43.880
So true, I have been observing myself in terms of characters,

592
00:33:43.880 --> 00:33:45.279
and it is really fascinating.

593
00:33:45.559 --> 00:33:49.599
But some people are naturally more left or right brain.

594
00:33:49.920 --> 00:33:52.160
I mean, I know, the world we live on really

595
00:33:52.359 --> 00:33:56.359
prioritizes and values productivity and busy in achievement and status,

596
00:33:56.599 --> 00:33:58.680
and we're all influenced by that, but some of us

597
00:33:58.680 --> 00:34:01.640
are naturally more inclined one way or the other.

598
00:34:02.519 --> 00:34:02.680
Right.

599
00:34:02.680 --> 00:34:04.480
There are people who are naturally more right brain.

600
00:34:04.759 --> 00:34:06.480
But the good news from what you're saying is that

601
00:34:06.960 --> 00:34:11.079
it is available to all of us. And thank you

602
00:34:11.159 --> 00:34:14.360
to what we know about neuroplasticity. You know that we

603
00:34:14.440 --> 00:34:20.400
can consciously choose to spend more time and to cultivate

604
00:34:20.960 --> 00:34:23.320
kind of the qualities of all of these.

605
00:34:23.159 --> 00:34:26.159
For exact characters.

606
00:34:26.119 --> 00:34:31.000
Exactly because ultimately, you know, as a human brain, you know,

607
00:34:31.119 --> 00:34:34.400
why wouldn't we use our whole brain? I mean, that's

608
00:34:34.440 --> 00:34:37.559
what we're doing. We're in this process of working the

609
00:34:37.639 --> 00:34:40.360
kinks out between the new tissue, the thinking in the

610
00:34:40.440 --> 00:34:45.119
right and left hemispheres, with the emotional tissue below. And

611
00:34:45.639 --> 00:34:49.000
we're also working the kinks out between our two thinking

612
00:34:49.360 --> 00:34:53.679
centers and our two emotional centers as a collective whole.

613
00:34:54.119 --> 00:34:57.280
So the ultimate goal of the evolution of humanity is

614
00:34:57.360 --> 00:35:00.199
going to be whole brain living. Will we get yet

615
00:35:00.239 --> 00:35:03.719
there on time, we'll see, but at least we're in

616
00:35:03.760 --> 00:35:04.159
the game.

617
00:35:04.719 --> 00:35:05.239
Yeah.

618
00:35:05.800 --> 00:35:08.039
I wanted to come back to the emotional the two

619
00:35:08.079 --> 00:35:11.679
of MiG de La because I think that is so critical.

620
00:35:12.559 --> 00:35:16.880
So just to be clear, So for somebody listening, the

621
00:35:17.840 --> 00:35:23.400
left emotional character TiO, it's being anxious about the future,

622
00:35:24.400 --> 00:35:29.480
ruminating about the past, causing ourselves emotional distress or happiness,

623
00:35:29.519 --> 00:35:31.199
you know, thinking about the past, thinking about the future.

624
00:35:31.239 --> 00:35:35.280
It's not in the present moment. The character three, the

625
00:35:35.400 --> 00:35:37.960
right brain emotional, which you said, is more of a feeling.

626
00:35:38.360 --> 00:35:42.519
That's the experience of what is happening in the present moment.

627
00:35:42.639 --> 00:35:47.599
So that is the distinction between for example, anxiety and fear,

628
00:35:48.039 --> 00:35:49.239
well anxiety.

629
00:35:49.239 --> 00:35:54.199
When we have anxiety, normally anxiety is associated with a

630
00:35:54.280 --> 00:35:58.719
thought yes, and the following of that secretary with the emotion.

631
00:35:59.119 --> 00:36:04.079
So I have test anxiety because even if I studied,

632
00:36:04.599 --> 00:36:06.719
I'm taking a test all of a sudden, I'm going

633
00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:11.800
to have to regurgitate answers against a clock, right, And

634
00:36:11.880 --> 00:36:17.000
so to me that concept becomes anxiety inducing, and we

635
00:36:17.079 --> 00:36:19.599
know what that feels like inside of our body. And

636
00:36:19.639 --> 00:36:22.719
the thing about the amigdalay is that when they get

637
00:36:22.760 --> 00:36:28.519
turned on, they block the hippocampuses, and the hippocampus is

638
00:36:28.639 --> 00:36:33.800
the learning and memory highway to what we've learned and memorized.

639
00:36:34.119 --> 00:36:36.480
Let's go back to that other scenario. There's a party

640
00:36:36.519 --> 00:36:39.000
going on and character three saying, well, I want to

641
00:36:39.000 --> 00:36:40.280
go to the party. You know, I haven't seen my

642
00:36:40.320 --> 00:36:42.360
pals in a while. I want to go play. And

643
00:36:42.559 --> 00:36:45.039
character one comes online and says, well, we still have

644
00:36:45.079 --> 00:36:48.440
to come home, so we can party until nine, and

645
00:36:48.519 --> 00:36:51.039
we can't have any alcohol because we need two more

646
00:36:51.079 --> 00:36:53.840
hours of study and if we can do that, and

647
00:36:53.880 --> 00:36:56.719
then character three says, okay, I'm good with that, and

648
00:36:56.760 --> 00:36:59.079
so they say, so we go to the party. So

649
00:36:59.119 --> 00:37:02.400
we go to the party, and we obey the rules

650
00:37:02.719 --> 00:37:06.239
of our brain and we leave at nine, and character

651
00:37:06.920 --> 00:37:11.360
one goes home and she studies and she packs all

652
00:37:11.360 --> 00:37:13.639
that stuff into her head and then we wake up

653
00:37:13.679 --> 00:37:16.800
in the morning and we miss the alarm, so we

654
00:37:16.880 --> 00:37:19.679
miss the alarm, we wake up, We're an alarm, alarm

655
00:37:19.719 --> 00:37:22.239
alert alert. Oh my god, we're late, right, we got

656
00:37:22.239 --> 00:37:25.000
twenty minutes to get to school. It's gonna I'm gonna

657
00:37:25.039 --> 00:37:28.239
be at least ten to fifteen minutes late for the exam.

658
00:37:28.519 --> 00:37:31.960
I'm in panic mode. This is character three in the

659
00:37:32.119 --> 00:37:35.760
present moment fear, but character two is saying, oh my god,

660
00:37:35.840 --> 00:37:37.960
if I don't do well on this test, I'm gonna

661
00:37:38.039 --> 00:37:42.039
I'm gonna fail this class. I'm gonna ruin my gpa,

662
00:37:42.280 --> 00:37:45.039
I'm gonna my mom's gonna kill me there. Everybody's gonna

663
00:37:45.039 --> 00:37:47.079
blame it that I went on the party last night,

664
00:37:47.559 --> 00:37:49.480
and you know, and so character twos in all this

665
00:37:49.599 --> 00:37:52.199
anxiety now. And so then I get there and I'm sweaty,

666
00:37:52.280 --> 00:37:54.639
and I'm I'm just like and I sit down and

667
00:37:54.760 --> 00:37:58.880
the teacher responds to me, right, And so if the

668
00:37:58.960 --> 00:38:03.239
teacher looks at me like it's such a dummy, you know,

669
00:38:03.440 --> 00:38:05.719
you can't do anything. You know, they get in there too,

670
00:38:05.800 --> 00:38:09.599
and they ridicule me, and I just feel and then

671
00:38:09.639 --> 00:38:13.320
it's like, well, I can't access anything. I just I'm

672
00:38:13.360 --> 00:38:16.159
in my own funk and I can't get to all

673
00:38:16.159 --> 00:38:18.960
that stuff that Helen learned. So I need to in

674
00:38:19.000 --> 00:38:21.800
that moment if I want to access Helen. I need

675
00:38:21.840 --> 00:38:24.760
to close my eyes. I need to sit still, I

676
00:38:24.800 --> 00:38:28.119
need to breathe. I need to bring everybody in. I

677
00:38:28.159 --> 00:38:30.599
need to come to the present moment, and I need

678
00:38:30.639 --> 00:38:36.039
to say we are okay. Allow ninety seconds to pass

679
00:38:36.119 --> 00:38:39.000
from the moment you think of thought. It stimulates an

680
00:38:39.000 --> 00:38:43.599
emotional reactivity. You run that emotional loop from the beginning

681
00:38:43.679 --> 00:38:46.400
to the end of that being in your bloodstream takes

682
00:38:46.480 --> 00:38:50.280
less than ninety seconds. I can calm myself and self

683
00:38:50.360 --> 00:38:53.840
soothe myself because I got that beautiful character for saying,

684
00:38:54.159 --> 00:38:56.480
you know, we're going to be okay no matter what happens, Sarah,

685
00:38:56.480 --> 00:38:59.360
it really is okay. And so I allow all that

686
00:38:59.400 --> 00:39:01.400
to go away. And then I come in with my

687
00:39:01.599 --> 00:39:05.480
clear mind, which is my character one, and I read

688
00:39:05.559 --> 00:39:08.400
the questions and I go through my test and I

689
00:39:08.519 --> 00:39:10.679
do the best that I can. So just in that

690
00:39:10.719 --> 00:39:16.199
little scenario, boom, everybody's there, right. It's like the explosion

691
00:39:16.280 --> 00:39:19.920
inside of the head. But when anxiety hits us, when

692
00:39:20.079 --> 00:39:23.360
fear hits us, and fear there's different kinds of fear.

693
00:39:23.519 --> 00:39:25.400
You know. I can look at a dog and that

694
00:39:25.480 --> 00:39:27.920
kind of dog bit me, you know, five years ago

695
00:39:28.000 --> 00:39:30.119
when I was riding a bike down the street. And

696
00:39:30.159 --> 00:39:32.000
now every time I say a dog like that, I

697
00:39:32.079 --> 00:39:34.320
move into my fear of that kind of a dog.

698
00:39:34.760 --> 00:39:37.519
Or I might have just a fear of a snake

699
00:39:37.679 --> 00:39:41.280
just goes by and I'm going, whoa freak out.

700
00:39:41.599 --> 00:39:45.119
Yeah, that was really good life advice. Just rut there.

701
00:39:45.679 --> 00:39:48.960
Just that if anybody listening takes nothing else away from

702
00:39:49.000 --> 00:39:52.079
this that you know takes ninety seconds for your body to.

703
00:39:52.119 --> 00:39:55.239
Run that emotional circuitry and that to leave right.

704
00:39:56.880 --> 00:39:58.920
And you can feel it. How long does it take?

705
00:39:58.960 --> 00:40:01.760
And it's not that just negative emotions, but time it

706
00:40:01.840 --> 00:40:05.119
the next time you feel your anxiety. The thing about

707
00:40:05.159 --> 00:40:09.280
cells and circuitry is that cells run in circuits, and

708
00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:13.320
the more you run a circuit, the stronger that circuit becomes,

709
00:40:13.480 --> 00:40:16.480
and the stronger it becomes, the more it will run

710
00:40:16.480 --> 00:40:21.519
on automatic. So this becomes our automatic reactivity. And that's

711
00:40:21.519 --> 00:40:24.960
what the a magdala is dependent on in order to

712
00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:28.400
save our lives. It is a circuit design. To I

713
00:40:28.440 --> 00:40:31.840
see something it feels unfamiliar, I don't feel safe, alarm

714
00:40:31.880 --> 00:40:34.760
alarm or word alert for ninety seconds, I need to

715
00:40:34.760 --> 00:40:38.159
be completely alert right at the same time, How long

716
00:40:38.199 --> 00:40:40.119
does a belly laugh? The last time you had a

717
00:40:40.159 --> 00:40:43.079
belly laugh, it is almost impossible to have a belly

718
00:40:43.159 --> 00:40:46.400
laugh for longer than ninety seconds. Now, it's really intense,

719
00:40:46.519 --> 00:40:49.320
but it comes and it goes. You know, you see

720
00:40:49.360 --> 00:40:52.880
someone you haven't seen in a long time, and especially

721
00:40:52.920 --> 00:40:55.639
in a pandemic, and we haven't hugged one another, right,

722
00:40:55.800 --> 00:40:58.320
and so now we finally get together and my heart

723
00:40:58.480 --> 00:41:00.960
just opens and their hearts is so and we just

724
00:41:01.079 --> 00:41:05.960
hold one another. Doesn't generally last for longer than ninety seconds.

725
00:41:06.199 --> 00:41:10.320
These emotions flow through us through these less than ninety

726
00:41:10.400 --> 00:41:14.079
second emotional circuits. Now that doesn't mean I can't stay

727
00:41:14.119 --> 00:41:17.480
angry for longer than ninety seconds, but that's because I'm

728
00:41:17.519 --> 00:41:23.679
rethinking the thought that's restimulating the emotion and then the reactivity.

729
00:41:23.880 --> 00:41:28.679
Right right, uh exactly, Jill, you mentioned the brain huddle.

730
00:41:28.760 --> 00:41:32.559
This is golden. Can you talk us through, yeah, brain huddle.

731
00:41:32.840 --> 00:41:36.599
This is the process of bringing us back on line, right,

732
00:41:36.719 --> 00:41:38.760
like to bring out whole brain together.

733
00:41:39.159 --> 00:41:40.159
Exactly, brain huddle.

734
00:41:41.159 --> 00:41:44.800
Once we understand these four characters, and we give them names,

735
00:41:44.840 --> 00:41:47.719
and we recognize them in ourselves, and we can come

736
00:41:47.760 --> 00:41:51.719
to recognize them. Give your four characters a name that

737
00:41:51.840 --> 00:41:55.400
is meaningful to you. That's why I didn't name Everybody's

738
00:41:55.480 --> 00:41:57.840
is going to be called Helen. Mine's hell on wheel.

739
00:41:57.920 --> 00:41:59.679
She gets it done. That's what it feels like in

740
00:41:59.679 --> 00:42:03.039
my bad. My little Abby is my little character two,

741
00:42:03.039 --> 00:42:05.519
and that's short for a band end. I think the

742
00:42:05.599 --> 00:42:08.559
moment I came flying out of my mother's womb, it

743
00:42:08.760 --> 00:42:14.039
was a shocking experience, you know, just that separation, the temperature,

744
00:42:14.199 --> 00:42:18.280
the pain, the light, the overstimulation. I call my little

745
00:42:18.320 --> 00:42:22.719
character to Abby. Character three is pig Pin because she's playful.

746
00:42:22.840 --> 00:42:27.440
She's constantly functioning in a state of chaos and mess.

747
00:42:27.679 --> 00:42:32.679
And that's the little Peanuts character of Snoopy and the Crew.

748
00:42:33.119 --> 00:42:35.320
I'm a little pig Pin. And then my character four,

749
00:42:35.360 --> 00:42:39.679
I call her Queen Toad. Queen because if you're female

750
00:42:39.760 --> 00:42:42.400
probably male two, you got a queen inside of you.

751
00:42:42.920 --> 00:42:46.039
And toad because I live on a lily pad, I

752
00:42:46.079 --> 00:42:48.000
live on the water, I live on a boat six

753
00:42:48.039 --> 00:42:50.239
months a year. I at a queen Toad. She's a

754
00:42:50.239 --> 00:42:53.440
little goofy. Anyway, once you have your four characters and

755
00:42:53.519 --> 00:42:56.639
you really learn to recognize them, then you know Let's

756
00:42:56.679 --> 00:42:59.079
say your husband or your kid comes home and you're

757
00:42:59.119 --> 00:43:02.199
feeling you interact with them like a character one, and

758
00:43:02.239 --> 00:43:04.599
you can say, yeah, that was very character one of me,

759
00:43:04.840 --> 00:43:07.719
or for some reason, you know, my husband was late

760
00:43:07.760 --> 00:43:09.840
and we were supposed to leave ten minutes ago, and

761
00:43:09.880 --> 00:43:12.599
I'm unhappy now, and so he comes in and I

762
00:43:12.679 --> 00:43:15.880
chew on him, and it's like, uh, I'm so sorry, honey,

763
00:43:15.920 --> 00:43:18.599
you came in and I became my two. You know,

764
00:43:18.840 --> 00:43:22.280
I can learn then to take responsibility for my own four.

765
00:43:22.719 --> 00:43:25.480
I can learn to recognize the four characters in those

766
00:43:25.519 --> 00:43:28.960
I have relationships with, and we could actually begin to

767
00:43:29.039 --> 00:43:33.280
communicate with one another at the level of the four characters,

768
00:43:33.519 --> 00:43:37.480
which makes it no longer personal. It's just like, I'm sorry,

769
00:43:37.480 --> 00:43:41.280
I was running that circuitry. We can take responsibility. So

770
00:43:41.800 --> 00:43:45.360
when I need to really bring myself together, I call

771
00:43:45.400 --> 00:43:51.199
it a brain huddle. Brain bi n B stands for breath.

772
00:43:51.280 --> 00:43:54.159
Focus on the breath. The breath is the train that

773
00:43:54.320 --> 00:43:58.000
is running down a track in the present moment. When

774
00:43:58.039 --> 00:44:02.400
I breathe, I can change the amplitude or the frequency.

775
00:44:02.840 --> 00:44:06.480
I have the ability in the present moment to manipulate

776
00:44:06.840 --> 00:44:11.320
my breath. So bring your mind to the breath automatically

777
00:44:11.320 --> 00:44:14.880
brings you to the present moment. Our stands for. Recognize

778
00:44:15.199 --> 00:44:19.159
which character were you in before, or who called the

779
00:44:19.159 --> 00:44:21.920
brain huddle. I call this calling the brain huddle. Any

780
00:44:21.960 --> 00:44:26.039
four characters can call the huddle. So recognize who called

781
00:44:26.039 --> 00:44:28.639
the huddle. And if I'm really unhappy, I may call

782
00:44:28.679 --> 00:44:30.840
the huddle because I need a cuddle. You know, I

783
00:44:30.920 --> 00:44:33.039
need to be hugged. And if nobody else is gonna

784
00:44:33.079 --> 00:44:35.119
hug me because I am mean and ugly and loud,

785
00:44:35.320 --> 00:44:37.800
well I can hug myself. You know. Isn't it lovely

786
00:44:37.840 --> 00:44:40.920
that I have that capacity? My character for she's always there,

787
00:44:41.360 --> 00:44:45.039
So r is Recognize which character called the huddle. And

788
00:44:45.119 --> 00:44:48.039
in the beginning, I encourage all four characters to call

789
00:44:48.039 --> 00:44:51.239
the huddle. Get used to it, become familiar with it,

790
00:44:51.480 --> 00:44:54.320
because you really need it when that character two comes

791
00:44:54.360 --> 00:44:57.679
online and you're chewing on somebody and you need your

792
00:44:57.679 --> 00:44:59.840
own character two to call a huddle. So you got

793
00:44:59.880 --> 00:45:03.559
to practice it, right, it's just circuitry. Practice it or

794
00:45:03.599 --> 00:45:07.599
recognize who called the huddle. A appreciate the fact that

795
00:45:07.960 --> 00:45:10.760
regardless of who called the huddle, there's four of us

796
00:45:10.760 --> 00:45:13.280
in here. We've got all four of us. Okay, we

797
00:45:13.360 --> 00:45:17.800
may be feeling anxious or unhappy or angry or whatever,

798
00:45:17.880 --> 00:45:20.760
but there's four of us. Character two may be called

799
00:45:20.760 --> 00:45:25.679
the huddle. I is inquire. Okay, we're all here, We've

800
00:45:25.679 --> 00:45:29.440
got all four of us. Inquire which one do we

801
00:45:29.800 --> 00:45:33.480
as a collective whole want to come out next? Do

802
00:45:33.559 --> 00:45:35.440
I want to keep chewing on you because I'm not

803
00:45:35.559 --> 00:45:38.360
done fighting with you? Or do I want to go

804
00:45:38.480 --> 00:45:42.559
do something and distract myself and do something productive? Or

805
00:45:42.559 --> 00:45:44.199
do I want to take a walk in nature and

806
00:45:44.239 --> 00:45:46.840
go be with God and let my heart expand? Or

807
00:45:46.840 --> 00:45:48.400
do I want to go to the art space or

808
00:45:48.440 --> 00:45:51.000
call the best pallenges, laugh my butt off and play

809
00:45:51.039 --> 00:45:54.920
with somebody? Who do I want? Inquire? Which one do

810
00:45:54.960 --> 00:45:58.920
we want to bring online? And then end is navigate

811
00:45:59.360 --> 00:46:03.719
Navigate the next moment. In this moment, Okay, I've decided

812
00:46:03.760 --> 00:46:06.480
I'm going to go get some work done. Well, I'm

813
00:46:06.519 --> 00:46:09.480
still feeling maybe some anxiety inside of my chest, so

814
00:46:09.480 --> 00:46:12.920
I'm going to navigate the next moment. After that, Okay,

815
00:46:12.920 --> 00:46:15.159
I'm feeling the anxiety, I'm going to go for a walk.

816
00:46:15.360 --> 00:46:17.320
And it's like, okay, I'm going to go for a walk,

817
00:46:17.360 --> 00:46:19.440
and then a friend calls and she's in her too,

818
00:46:19.480 --> 00:46:23.079
and it's like, can I manage that person's too right now?

819
00:46:23.360 --> 00:46:25.159
Or do I really want to chew on them some more?

820
00:46:25.360 --> 00:46:28.639
You know, navigate the moment by moment by moment. This

821
00:46:28.719 --> 00:46:32.320
is pure power. This is power. This is who we

822
00:46:32.360 --> 00:46:35.760
are as biological creatures. We all have all of this

823
00:46:35.880 --> 00:46:38.760
inside of ourselves, and we have the power to choose

824
00:46:38.800 --> 00:46:40.760
moment by moment who and how we want to be

825
00:46:40.760 --> 00:46:43.880
in the world. Boom, Why wouldn't we want that? It's

826
00:46:44.000 --> 00:46:45.440
pure personal freedom?

827
00:46:45.559 --> 00:46:46.599
Why wouldn't we want that?

828
00:46:46.920 --> 00:46:49.639
I feel like that is just the perfect point to

829
00:46:49.719 --> 00:46:53.239
finish this conversation, because it's brilliant life advice. What I

830
00:46:53.280 --> 00:46:56.159
really love about the brain huddle is that as you

831
00:46:56.360 --> 00:46:59.039
woke through it, it is you know, all of the

832
00:46:59.039 --> 00:47:02.000
things that I'm really drawn to and feel passionately about,

833
00:47:02.039 --> 00:47:06.199
you know, the things like just being present, having self understanding,

834
00:47:06.320 --> 00:47:10.079
self awareness, but also self compassion, you know, be kind

835
00:47:10.119 --> 00:47:14.400
to ourselves, be curious. If we could all embody more

836
00:47:14.719 --> 00:47:17.960
of these kinds of attitudes and qualities, not only would

837
00:47:18.000 --> 00:47:21.440
we be happier, but wouldn't the world just be a

838
00:47:21.440 --> 00:47:22.119
better place?

839
00:47:23.239 --> 00:47:27.639
Yeah? You know, we are these really magnificently beautiful creatures,

840
00:47:28.320 --> 00:47:31.760
and a friend of mine says, you know, humanity, we

841
00:47:31.800 --> 00:47:35.440
are confused and more confused, and it's like, but we

842
00:47:35.519 --> 00:47:39.519
don't have to be. We can actually differentiate the different

843
00:47:39.719 --> 00:47:43.000
parts of who we are and learn to recognize that

844
00:47:43.039 --> 00:47:45.440
in the course of a minute, I can have all

845
00:47:45.440 --> 00:47:48.639
four of my characters passed through my brain three times.

846
00:47:49.039 --> 00:47:52.360
I mean, we're just running all this circuitry on automatic,

847
00:47:52.519 --> 00:47:55.519
and it's like wow, to be able to actually know

848
00:47:55.559 --> 00:48:00.000
who I am, to know who I am and therefore

849
00:48:00.159 --> 00:48:04.760
or what my choices truly are, and then the gain

850
00:48:04.960 --> 00:48:08.960
the power to know how to pick and choose who

851
00:48:09.000 --> 00:48:13.440
and how I want to be, regardless of who you

852
00:48:13.519 --> 00:48:16.119
present yourself to be in any moment.

853
00:48:16.280 --> 00:48:18.920
Yes, Jill, thank you so much.

854
00:48:18.960 --> 00:48:21.800
I will put a link to the book Whole Brain

855
00:48:21.840 --> 00:48:25.360
Living in the show notes and put links to your very.

856
00:48:25.199 --> 00:48:27.320
Famous Ted talk as well.

857
00:48:27.840 --> 00:48:29.920
I just wanted to also make the point that you know,

858
00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:31.960
in the book you have a lot of examples about

859
00:48:32.000 --> 00:48:34.159
how we can learn to identify each of the characters

860
00:48:34.199 --> 00:48:36.679
in our brain. You talk about parts of our brain

861
00:48:36.719 --> 00:48:40.960
in relation to things like addiction and you know, mental illness,

862
00:48:40.960 --> 00:48:42.559
and how we relate to our bodies and there's a

863
00:48:42.599 --> 00:48:46.280
whole lot of really really practical, useful stuff in there.

864
00:48:46.440 --> 00:48:47.239
It's really great.

865
00:48:47.280 --> 00:48:51.000
I've been recommending it to everybody. But thank you so

866
00:48:51.119 --> 00:48:54.599
much for being here and sharing your wisdom with us today.

867
00:48:55.440 --> 00:48:58.800
It's been a privilege from crabbing a happy here we go.

868
00:49:00.920 --> 00:49:01.320
Thank you.

869
00:49:04.679 --> 00:49:07.360
If you're interested to find out more about Whole Brain Living,

870
00:49:07.559 --> 00:49:11.199
doctor Taylor's book is available now in all bookstores and

871
00:49:11.239 --> 00:49:14.159
it is called Whole Brain Living. I'll also include a

872
00:49:14.159 --> 00:49:16.119
link to her ted talk in the show notes, and

873
00:49:16.159 --> 00:49:18.480
it really is worth twenty minutes of your time. If

874
00:49:18.519 --> 00:49:20.719
you haven't seen it, or even if you have, I

875
00:49:20.719 --> 00:49:22.440
would recommend a rewatch.

876
00:49:23.079 --> 00:49:23.639
Don't forget.

877
00:49:23.639 --> 00:49:26.119
Also that all three of my Crappy to Happy books

878
00:49:26.159 --> 00:49:27.840
are now available on audible.

879
00:49:28.320 --> 00:49:31.360
You can listen while you walk, while you drive, while

880
00:49:31.400 --> 00:49:33.719
you do anything at all, really, And if you would

881
00:49:33.800 --> 00:49:36.519
like a paper book and you would like a signed copy,

882
00:49:36.800 --> 00:49:40.039
they are available to buy on my website castone dot com.

883
00:49:40.079 --> 00:49:43.800
I personally think they make a great gift. And if

884
00:49:43.800 --> 00:49:45.639
you enjoyed this episode, please do give us.

885
00:49:45.559 --> 00:49:48.440
A five star rating and a nice review on Apple Podcasts.

886
00:49:48.679 --> 00:49:50.960
And to be sure that you never miss a new episode.

887
00:49:51.039 --> 00:49:53.199
Make sure you hit the little plus sign on Apple

888
00:49:53.239 --> 00:49:56.880
Podcasts or the follow button on Spotify, and I cannot

889
00:49:56.880 --> 00:49:59.079
wait to catch you in the next episode of Crappy

890
00:49:59.119 --> 00:50:09.880
to Haby listener