Transcript
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This is Crappita Happy and I am your host, Cas Dunn.
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I'm a clinical and coaching psychologist. I'm mindfulness meditation teacher
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and of course, author of the Crappita Happy books. In
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this show, I bring you conversations with interesting, inspiring, intelligent
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people who are experts in their field and who have
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something of value to share that will help you feel
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less crappy and more happy. Hello, Hello, Welcome to another
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solo episode of Crappita Happy. Thrilled to be back this week.
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I want to talk about something. I'm actually a little
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bit hesitant to talk about this, but I'm diving in
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and I'm doing it. I want to tell you why
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I've decided to give up drinking again. Now, let's just
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say give up drinking for now. Let's not be too
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definite and permanent about this, but for now, I've made
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the decision to cut alcohol out of my life. Now,
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when I say again, if you have been around me
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for a while, not that I've ever really talked about
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this very much publicly, but if you follow me on
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social media, or especially if you were sort of in
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my inner circle, my paid programs, things like that, then
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in twenty twenty I decided to stop drinking, and I
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didn't drink for two years. I round up to two years.
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I mean, truthfully, it wasn't two years. It was I
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don't know, twenty something months, twenty two months maybe. But
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what that did was it gave me the experience. It
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made me feel amazing. It gave me the experience of
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life without alcohol. And I have been a drink of
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my whole adult life. So my friends and my family
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all drink alcohol. My husband drinks alcohol. You know, I'm Australian.
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We drink, we catch up, we drink, we go out
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for wines. I you know, we socialize with alcohol typically.
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So it's just always been a part of my life.
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And if you are similar to me and you love
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a glass of wine, and don't get me wrong, I
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love a glass of wine, it can be really challenging
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to break that habit. And even though we know, you know,
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it's like everything, we know what we're supposed to do,
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and we know that it's not that great for us,
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and we know that, you know, we'd be so much better.
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We have these detoxes that we do with dry July
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and we feel better briefly, but it's a really ingrained habit.
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It's such a huge central part of our social life.
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It can become really hard to imagine what life would
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be without it. It can actually feel a little bit
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scary and daunting to think about socializing or doing fun things,
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or having Christmases or birthdays or anything really without it.
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In fact, it can be challenging just to think about
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getting to the end of the workday or getting to
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a Friday night and not having drinks to wind down,
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because it's just so central to everything. So having said that,
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I know many many people have made a similar decision.
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We're all kind of waking up to the idea that
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this is, you know, it's not that great for us,
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and that we'd probably be better off without it, Which
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is not to say that it's not still really challenging
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to break that habit. So in twenty twenty, I stopped drinking.
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I had done periods of time without drinking before, as
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many of us have two years prior. There seems to
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be a bit of a two year cycle with me,
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because in twenty eighteen it was the first time in
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ages that I, well, the first time since being pregnant,
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really that I had been gone beyond just a thirty
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day kind of break, like a dry July kind of
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a break, and I pushed it out to around about
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four months, and that felt great. I didn't really have
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a goal beyond that. So when somebody just casually offered
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me a glass of champagne when we caught up, well,
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I kind of thought about it for a minute and thought,
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oh the hell, Like, you know, why not, I've done
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my I've had a pretty good, solid break, And so
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I picked up the champagne and I drank it, and
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you know, then gually, over time, then it just became
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as much a part of my life as it had
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always been. When you've had I had a break from
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alcohol for a period, usually when you start to drink again,
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you do drink a lot more mindfully, a lot more moderately.
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Like I'd never had that same sort of craving to
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drink as I, you know, as I had previously after
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I'd had that extended kind of break. But most people
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will tell you, over time it does kind of just
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creep back in. It just does kind of creep back
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to exactly where it was before. So what that gave me, though,
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was this experience of what it was like without alcohol,
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and I had felt really great for that four months,
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and I'd had had a couple of significant events. I
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think I'd had a birthday. I think I'd even done
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kind of Christmas New Year during that period. It was
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sort of like a November through to April ish March April,
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which means in my birthday is February. So I'd had
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all of Christmas, New Year, my birthday, you know, other
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things in between, without alcohol. And so that was a
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revelation to me. So that was quite significant. Anyway, as
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I said, started drinking again. And then it was a
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full two years later, probably a little more than two
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years when I thought, no, you know what, I'm going
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to do it again, because I did feel amazing. It
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was during COVID. It was when everybody was drinking way
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too much, like Dan Murphy's stocks were going through the roof.
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I was writing a book and that was really stressful
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because I had a really tight deadline and so I
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was really conscious of alcohol consumption at that time, and
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so again I decided to take a break. And that
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time I had one goal and that was to go
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further than what I had the previous time. So I
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got past my four months and then I continued and
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I got to six months and twelve months and eighteen months,
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and then kind of close to the two year mark
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was when I started having an occasional drink again. Now,
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the furvost of this podcast is to list and outline
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everything that I learned during that period about what is
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amazing about not drinking. And the reason that I am
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doing this podcast is number one to remind me because
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it's really bloody challenging. If I'm to be honest with you,
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when you have a regular wine have it, it is
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a hard one to break. So I am reminding me
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of what I loved about not drinking, and I am
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doing that publicly in this way just in case that
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is helpful to you. So if you are also maybe
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thinking about cutting back or quitting for a period, if
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you also have those same thoughts about how would I
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do Christmas or how would I do a social event
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or you know, I've got a birthday coming up or
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a wedding coming up, or something like how could I
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do that? Or if you have already stopped and you're
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starting to feel that pull back to one wouldn't hurt,
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then maybe it will help you. It might be a
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reminder to you of why you made this decision and
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why you should stick it out. Now. If you're not
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a drinker, if you've never been a drinker, if you're
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happy to have one glass of wine once a month,
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then you might want to just skip this up. This
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is possible not for you, but for all of the
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wine girls out there, I know there are plenty of you,
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then this one is for us. So another reason I
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decided to do this is because inevitably, when I tell
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people that I didn't drink for two years, like if
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I'm catching up with people I've meeting people here in
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the UK and I tell people that I didn't drink
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for two years, because you know, people say, oh, I
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shouldn't take a break and probably drink too much. D
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da da da da. Number one, they're amazed and they
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all want to know how did I do that and
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what was it like? And you know, how hard was
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it really? And the second thing that people ask is
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why did I start drinking again? So let's just get
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that out of the way first. The reason I started
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to drink again having had such a good run, I
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mean really good run, was because I felt like it.
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That is the simple truth of it. I just felt
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like it. I had never said I was giving up
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drinking permanently. I couldn't do that to myself. My brain
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doesn't tolerate those kinds of limits very well. It was
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just for as long as it continued to feel really good,
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I was, you know, which is not to say that
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I didn't have to push through some cravings at times.
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Obviously I did. But I had never said that I
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would give up drinking permanently. And around that time I
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just started to feel like a drink. I thought, oh glass,
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I want it would be nice, and where is in
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the past I'd probably gone, No, you know, keep going,
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get it, you know, see the next milestone, See out
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the next milestone. It had got to the point where
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I knew we were moving to the UK. I definitely
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did not want to move to the UK with this
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kind of rule in place that I wasn't going to drink.
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Not that you should see it that way, I understand
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you shouldn't see it that way. You should just really
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see it as, you know, something that is a benefit
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and a bonus, not a restriction or a limit, which
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is really very much how I did see it in
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the beginning. But I just didn't want to put myself
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in situations like going to Paris and not having a
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glass of champagne, or coming to London and not going
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to the pub and having a drink. I just knew
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that that would feel kind of shitty for me. I
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don't know, you know, maybe a better person would have
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just gone no. Of course, I don't need to do
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all of those things anyway. I just didn't want to
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come over here with those limits in place. That's a
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whole other story about letting go of rules. Actually I
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could do a whole other podcast on that. I made
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a decision around that time, no rules about anything to
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do with food or drinks or anything. I've been vegan,
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I've been vegetarian, I've tried to eat like carb, I've
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eaten low sugar, I've eaten I've been alcohol free. And
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I just found myself getting to a point where every
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single time I would walk into a venue or look
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at a menu, I was scanning it for what could
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I eat, instead of scanning a menu for what looks
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really delicious and what would I really enjoy? Was all
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about it was always what's my rules? So fuck that.
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Fuck rules about food and about drinks, and so I
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just decided to come here with no rules. Now I
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eat and drink anything that I like. So to completely
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contradict that, I am now back at a point where
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I am choosing to take a break from alcohol again
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because I have had two almost again almost two years
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of enjoying everything that London and Europe has to offer,
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eating whatever I want, drinking all the wine, having a
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great time socializing. But I now also am at the
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point where I'm that, yeah, well kind of done that now,
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and I remember how good it felt to not drink,
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and I'd like to just have some of that again.
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And the really great thing is having not drunk for
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two years is that I have lived experience of how
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good that can feel and all of the benefits of that.
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So going into this again without the rules, but just
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with the knowing that if I see this through this
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tough part, that I will feel amazing. Then that's the
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choice that I'm making at this time. And again I'm
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not saying it's forever. So why were the good things
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about not drinking? We all know how crappy it can
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feel when you decide to give up drinking and you
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think life's going to be boring. Everything color is going
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to be black and white. It feels like nothing will
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be fun, You feel like you're a boring person, like
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life just feels quite flat. And I'm here to tell
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you that that is not the case. You give yourself
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a chance to get through that initial tough bit, or
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you just have to push through those It's just habit, really,
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it's just breaking those habits. Those habits are so entrenched,
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the reaching for the glass of wine, and when you
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break that and you get through that initial tough bit,
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it doesn't take very long for it just didn't not
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occur to you anymore. It got to a point. I
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remember about three months in the last time, somebody saying
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to me, oh, wow, you still not drinking, Well, how's
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that going? And I remember saying, honestly, doesn't even cross
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my mind anymore. Now, what I did, what was really
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helpful to me, was I hadd alcohol de alcoholized non
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alcoholic wine. Now that used to be pretty shit. These days,
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there's really good options out there. So now some people
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don't want to do that. Some people don't like that.
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Some people just are like God, I'd rather just drink
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something different than try to drink a kind of a
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fake wine. These actually the good ones actually come from vineyards.
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They're the actual wine from the wine grape, but then
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they just have another process which removes the alcohol from it.
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So it's as close as it can get, really, And