March 27, 2023

Why we procrastinate and what we can do about it

Why we procrastinate and what we can do about it
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Why we procrastinate and what we can do about it
Why we procrastinate and what we can do about it
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Season 8 Psychology & Neuroscience Goals & Habits

Procrastination is a universal struggle. When we leave things up to the very last minute, or we delay things and make it a 'future you' problem, it adds stress and overwhelm to our lives. So knowing all this, why do we continue to procrastinate and what can we do about it?This week we have another listener question. Why do we procrastinate? What does the science say, and what can we do about it?
Listen to Cass' latest audiobook, The Imposter Solution, on Audible here. And get on the waitlist for Beyond Confident here.
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Transcript
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A listener production. Welcome to another solo episode of Crappy

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to Happy, and this week I am super excited that

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we have another listener question. I love the audience participation.

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Let's hand over to our listener and hear the question

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she's got for me today. Hey, Cas, I'm wondering if.

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You could do a bit of a deep dive on

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the topic of procrastination, particularly why people procrastinate and the

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potential solutions to overcoming those reasons, but also the science

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behind them.

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Okay, so procrastination, this is something that I am very

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familiar with, and in fact, to prepare for today's episode,

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what I actually did was I went back to some

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previous work that I have done on this very topic.

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So when I was running my membership, which was called

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Beyond Happy, we would cover a topic each month, and

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one month we covered procrastination. I talked about it in

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quite some detail. So that was my starting point to

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prepare for this episode. That was all the way back

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in July twenty twenty that I recorded that content. Interestingly,

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as I went through those nodes, I found that a

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lot of the things that I said then are still

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relevant now and I will share them with you today.

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But there are a couple of really important things that

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I didn't cover back then that I thought were really

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worth adding to the conversation today. And those two things

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particularly are the links between perfectionism and procrastination. And the

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second one that I didn't talk about was the link

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between ADYHD and procrastination. So given that I have recently

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done interviews on this show with Catherine Morgan Schaeffler about

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unhealthy perfectionism and you maybe have some sense of that now,

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and also with Candon Phillips about ADHD, thought both of

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those are really relevant to tie into this conversation about procrastination.

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So let's talk about procrastination, what it is, what does

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the research say, And again just flagging that I think

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maybe some of the research that I have looked at

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in the past is not inclusive of some of what

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we know now about ADHD and neurodivergent brains, etc. And

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what can you do about it? Because I think procrastination

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is a universal problem. I don't think that's an exaggeration.

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I think everybody procrastinates. The thing is that some people

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procrastinate about different tasks at different times. So getting to

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the root cause of what is causing it so that

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you can be more productive and happier is obviously the

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name of the game. So I always love to start

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with a definition. And I think we all know what

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procrastination is. It's putting things off, right, It is postponing

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the thing that you know that you need to do.

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So the word procrastinate comes from the Latin verb, but procrastinaire,

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which means deferred until tomorrow, perfectly sums it up, doesn't it.

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So vscinator is a person who delays or puts things off, work, chores,

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any other action. Anything that they know that they need

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to do is not done in a timely manner. Things

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are left until the last minute, or just put off

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and rescheduled and postponed and continuously pushed down the line,

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often until that thing becomes urgent, and then it's you know,

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there's a whole lot of stress involved in getting the

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task done, and we all know that it could have

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been a whole lot less stressful if we got to

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the task earlier. And that pretty much describes the process

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of me writing now four books, three Pepper books, and

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an audiobook. They have all been done at the last minute.

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And I have often reflected that I will say that

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I do my best work under pressure, and an actual fact,

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I'm not really sure that that is true. I think

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that is what I tell myself because I have this

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habit of putting things off. There are negative consequences obviously

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to procrastination, and I think the reason that we are

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interested in the topic and we reason we want to

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understand why we do it and find solutions for it

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is because it comes with a whole lot of like

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I just said, stress and overwhelm and anxiety if we've

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left something to the last minute and then and it

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is the critical self talk that goes with that when

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we know we could have got it done sooner, and

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we know that we have created this problem ourselves by

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our delaying something and not just getting on with it earlier.

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So it comes with a lot of frustration, self criticism,

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self judgment, under performance. It will lead to you doing

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not necessarily your best work, and potentially there's a little

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bit of psychology and that to a little bit of

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self handicapping that goes with that, which I'll get to

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in a minute. And then there can be some other

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really negative consequences. For example, if the thing that you're

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putting off is health appointments. If the thing that you're

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putting off off is important health checks or behavioral changes

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that you know you need to make for your own good,

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then there can potentially be a lot worse consequences. It

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can have really dire effects if you leave something unchecked

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for too long and then you end up with a problem,

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potentially a health problem, either through disease or through lifestyle

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that could have been prevented. At the low end of

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the scale, it's just a frustration, like I really should

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have just got that thing done. But it's important to

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note I think that it can have much more serious

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consequences to that if you are continuously delaying or deferring

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things that you know need to get done. The other

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thing that I want to say, and I said this

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in my membership, I was reminded that sometimes we are busy.

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We are juggling a lot of projects, a lot of responsibilities.

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If you are listening to this, and if you are

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a working mother with a family, perhaps you've got an

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aging parent's kids in school, maintaining your own career, friendships, partner,

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running a household, all of the things that you need

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to do, then sometimes what we're doing is we're just prioritizing.

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Sometimes we get down on ourselves because we've put something off,

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when what we're really doing is just dealing with the

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most urgent thing first and then leaving the other things

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to wait until later. And it's not necessarily I would

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argue procrastination in the true sense of the word, if

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what you're really doing is just trying to keep all

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the bulls in the air, and that means that some

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things get forgotten or put off or deferred or delayed

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until later. Procrastination is the choice, the voluntary choice to

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delay something even when you know that there are negative

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consequences to delaying that thing. And again, I feel like

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I need to put a disclaimer on this because I

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think that was the description that I gave it last

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time I talked about this, and I think that now

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I would say it's at some level it's not necessarily voluntary,

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because I think sometimes the way our nervous system is

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wired and the way our brains are wired, particularly if

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there is something like undiagnosed ADHD or diagnosed ADHD, or

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past trauma or things that are affecting you at the

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nervous system level and keeping you kind of stuck in

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a bit of a freeze response. Then sometimes that's not

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always voluntary, but the official definition that it is the

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voluntary delay of an important event or task that you've

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committed to doing, knowing that their a negative consequence is

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attached to not getting that thing done. I think we

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have to rethink that. I'm just going to put that

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out there right now. I think that it is not

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always necessarily a voluntary choice, and I think that's the

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frustration that most people feel, isn't it. I think that

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it's like, I know I need to do this thing,

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somehow I cannot get myself to do it. Like I

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know that it has to be done, I know I've

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got this deadline, and that is the frustration, because it's

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not necessar earlier choice. It feels like we just can't

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get started on this thing. Let's just start with how

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we conceptualize the problem of procrastination. So typically, when we

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recognize procrastination in ourselves, it's something that we habitually do

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and it is very habitual. It's often if you are

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a person who leaves everything to the last minute, that

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is often very habitual kind of behavior. We think about

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this as a time management problem or an organizational problem

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or a lack of focus. It's an inability to manage

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ourselves or manage our time or just get on with things.

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And often what the research is showing is that actually

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this is not so much a time management or organizational problem.

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It is actually an emotional management problem. It is how

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we manage our emotions. So there will be an emotion

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if you've got a task that you need to do,

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a project that you need to get done a deadline.

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When you think about that thing, there will be some

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emotion attached to it. There will be thoughts and feelings

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about that. Maybe it feels overwhelming, maybe it feels boring.

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Maybe there is just something about that that causes you

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to feel a little stuck or raises a feeling of

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discomfort that you were trying to avoid. So when you

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avoid doing the task, what you're really doing is avoiding

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all of that uncomfortable, unpleasant emotion that you are attaching

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to the task. It is not so much about the

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time or the organization or the focus. It is about

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I just don't really have it in me to look

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at that right now because it makes me feel uncomfortable.

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So I think that's a really key thing when we're

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talking about overcoming the problem of procrastination. We have to

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look at what is actually going on at an emotional level.

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What is this bringing up for us, what's causing us

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to feel overwhelmed, what is causing it to f feel uncomfortable,

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Because sometimes that is just how we're thinking about the task.

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Sometimes I know for myself that a task can feel

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so big that I don't know where to start, and

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therefore I just dither and I'm all over the place

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because I don't seem to have the capacity to break

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this down into manageable, bite sized pieces. So if something

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feels big and overwhelming, that will cause me to procrastinate

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some of the other things that can be happening. If

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you have got a little perfectionist tendency, then you can

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often have that all or nothing type of thinking. So

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if you have an unconscious belief, Now this is something

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that comes up in my Beyond Confident program. We talk

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about this a lot, the perfectionism procrastination loop. If you

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have an unhealthy perfectionism, an un helpful belief that the

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only possible performance standard is everything has got to be

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perfect every time, and that's the standard that you're holding

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yourself to, then that can feel really overwhelming. And so

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oftentimes the flip side of perfectionism is procrastination because it's

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underpinned by this exacting standards, this un healthy standard that

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you're holding yourself to. You want to go a little

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deeper into that, then maybe your perfectionism and I remember

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talking about unhealthy perfectionism here. To be clear, not all

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perfectionism is bad. But if it's that maladaptive style of

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perfectionism that says my self worth, my sense of my

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own value is contingent on me doing an exceptional job

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every time and other people perceiving me as being very

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competent and doing excellent work all of the time, then

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that can be enough to make you feel stuck and

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to procrastinate on just getting started because it feels big,

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feels overwhelming. Of course, that feels impossible, and it may

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not always be conscious. That may not always be prevalent

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or present in your conscious thinking, but unconsciously that can

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be what's going on under the surface when we talk

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about procrastination. So remember that so much of our behavior,

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so much of the things that we do every day,

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is driven from this unconscious thoughts and feelings. It's not

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even necessarily because our brain, our prefrontal cortex, tells us

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there's a deadline. I've got to get this thing done.

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Like of course, that's the goal, that's the plan. You

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wake up in the morning, I'm going to do that thing.

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Today's the day. I'm going to get a start on

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that project. End of the day, what did you do?

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Three loads of washing, you know, made an appointment for

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the dog at the vet, cleaned out the pantry. Maybe

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I'm just describing myself here, but I think we've all

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had that experience. And then you get to the end

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of the day and you haven't made any progress, and

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it is not full lack of prefrontal cortex and logical

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thinking telling you what you need to do. Your behavior

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is driven by this unconscious rules, beliefs, emotions, nervous system

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response that is keeping you stuck. This is why when

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we look at procrastination, it is different for different people.

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Different tasks will cause some people. Some people will jump

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straight in, and some people will dither and delay and

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avoid and go all around the edges and do everything other,

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you know, everything else except for that thing. So it's

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a very personal thing, and it's important to have a

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look at what is actually going on underneath the behavior. So,

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for example, it might be we've talked about the perfectionism.

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Maybe there's a fear of failure, a fear of judgment.

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Sometimes there's a fear of success. Sometimes there is a

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fear that if I actually do this thing and do

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it really well, then there might be some negative consequences

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attached to that. Again, this is often unconscious. This is

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all to do with unconscious core beliefs about possible negative

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consequences of doing the thing that you say you want

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to do. If I get the book out, if I

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publish the book and it's out in the world, and

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it's in bookshops all around the country or all around

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the world, then what if somebody reads it and posts

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a negative review. What if somebody rebukes everything that I said,

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They've got different research than what I think. That can

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be very, very prevalent, particularly if you are in a

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profession where a lot of your identity and a lot

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of your self worth is attached to being an authority

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on a subject, or maybe you're rutting your memoir, your

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personal story, and you're putting it out there for other

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people to judge and criticize. Negative consequences of success are

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not often talked about, but they're there and we need

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to uncover them because that can often be something that

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keeps you from doing the thing that you say you

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want to do. So I said at the beginning also

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that I wanted to talk about the ADHD brain. So

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I recently interviewed Candon Phillips. She's an ADHD coach and

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a licensed therapist in the USA, and she introduced a

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concept to me that I had not heard before, I

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was unfamiliar with, and that is the concept of the

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interest based nervous system. So people with ADHD, and I

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think more and more people are being diagnosed or are

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starting to realize that potentially this could be what's going

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on for them. I'm not saying it's everybody, but it's

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certainly much more well recognized now among adults than it

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ever has been before. Than those people often find that

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what is required for them to take action, to start

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to get into gear and to get that focus that

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they need to get things done, are certain conditions, and

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those conditions are novelty. So something that's new and interesting,

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something that they really enjoy, something that they find intriguing.

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Sometimes competition is something that gets them hyper focused, and

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the other one is urgency. So hence the leave everything

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to the last minute. I work best under pressure. An

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ADHD brain will often they require particular conditions and circumstances

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to get them focused, and maybe you can relate to that.

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The other thing I find really interesting about this the

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ADHD brain is that attention deficit is actually a bit

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of a misnomer. It's not that they have a deficit

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of attention. It's that they have scattered attention. They actually

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attend to too many things at once. It's not that

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they can't sustain attention, it's that they're attempting to sustain

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attention on too many things, pulled in too many different directions,

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with an inability to rate those things in order of importance.

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So how interesting is that? So perhaps if you're the

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person who starts doing the assignment or starts working on

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the project, but then you remember that you had to

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make an appointment for the vet for the dog, and

286
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then you're remembered that the washing needs to be done,

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and then you remember that something else needs And this

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is what happens. I do this thing, I start that

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I get distracted, I walk into the other room, to

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drop something into there and I realize that that other

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thing needs to be done, and so it looks so

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disorganized and so scattered, which it is, But it's because

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there's this inability to just stay focused on the one

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task until that task is completed, or until you make

295
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the decision that you are going to complete that task

296
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and move on to something else. Your attention is pulled

297
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in a thousand different directions with no sort of ranking

298
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system to prioritize importance. People with neurotypical brains are able

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to do things even if they are not interested in them,

300
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just because they know they have to do them. They

301
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can do things for a reward, and they can do

302
00:17:58.119 --> 00:18:03.920
things based on important. Neuro divergent brains ADHD brains don't

303
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necessarily have that ability. So this just doing something that's boring,

304
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it has to either be interesting, engaging, or urgent. So

305
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I think that there's probably many people who struggle with

306
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procrastination who perhaps haven't considered that aspect of it. So

307
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that's interesting. So just going back to something that I

308
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mentioned earlier about that leaving things to the last minute

309
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and that potentially being a form of self handicapping, and

310
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I'm giving you lots of different scenarios here. But that's

311
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the thing about procrastination, right There can be any number

312
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of things going on, So I want to run through

313
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like all of these scenarios or many of these scenarios,

314
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because it will be different things at different at different times,

315
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in different circumstances. The idea of handicapping self sabotage, if

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you will, The definition is that it is giving yourself

317
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a built in excuse to fail. And you might wonder

318
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why anybody would do that, why anybody would give them

319
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a built in excuse to fail, And the reason for

320
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that is because if I do my best at something,

321
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if I put in one hundred percent effort with something

322
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and I fail, then that can be very damaging to

323
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my sense of self worth, to my sense of competence

324
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self competence. So if I leave things to the last minute,

325
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and if I then have to scramble to get something

326
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over the line and I don't do well, then I

327
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can always tell myself that the reason I didn't do

328
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very well is because I left it to the last minute,

329
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because I didn't give myself enough time to do it,

330
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And so my self esteem remains intact. In that way,

331
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it feels a bit crappy, because you also always have

332
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the idea that if you'd really given yourself the opportunity

333
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it really started earlier, and given yourself the time that

334
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was necessary to do that thing properly, to do a

335
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really good job, that you could have done so much better.

336
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So there's always a little disappointment in that scenario. But

337
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at the end of the day, sometimes that behavior is

338
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designed to protect your self esteem so that you don't

339
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have to live with the fear that I could actually

340
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do put in my best effort and fail, because I'm

341
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not sure that I would handle that. So you see

342
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how there's all these underlying things that could be going on.

343
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Something else that has been discussed in the research is

344
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the idea that we all have a future self. Now.

345
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Sometimes that future self is the perfect version of you,

346
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who we always imagine exists, who is so much more

347
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organized than our current self. This future, ideal version of

348
00:20:47.799 --> 00:20:49.720
ourself is often going to turn up next Monday to

349
00:20:49.759 --> 00:20:53.160
start the diet or start being more organized. All of

350
00:20:53.200 --> 00:20:56.400
the things that we don't currently do in our lives,

351
00:20:56.640 --> 00:20:59.480
this ideal future version of ourselves is going to do.

352
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So what we do is when we set goals and

353
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When we make plans, we often seriously overestimate what this

354
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future version of ourself is going to be able to do.

355
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We often load up our future self with a whole

356
00:21:16.079 --> 00:21:21.240
lot of really unrealistic expectations and timeframes. I'm sure you

357
00:21:21.319 --> 00:21:23.960
have had this experience, right, I'm sure you have made

358
00:21:24.000 --> 00:21:26.319
a plan, You've sat down in it. I thought, right, then,

359
00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:28.519
I'm going to get so organized and these are all

360
00:21:28.599 --> 00:21:30.559
the things that I'm going to do, And I'm going

361
00:21:30.599 --> 00:21:32.720
to meal prep and I'm going to shop, and I'm

362
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going to be organized at work, and I'm going to

363
00:21:34.839 --> 00:21:36.640
keep on top of all of my reports so that

364
00:21:36.680 --> 00:21:40.799
I don't get behind all of the things. And we

365
00:21:40.920 --> 00:21:44.359
lay this all out and it is completely unrealistic because

366
00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:48.440
that future version of yourself does not exist, and so

367
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we tend to have a quite disconnected relationship between our

368
00:21:53.519 --> 00:21:56.599
current self and with our future self. And how that

369
00:21:56.640 --> 00:22:00.680
can also play out is that we kind of ignore

370
00:22:01.480 --> 00:22:04.480
the pressure that our future self is going to feel.

371
00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:07.839
We feel like this future self is going to magically

372
00:22:08.440 --> 00:22:10.559
have all of the motivation and the energy and the

373
00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:13.400
organization and the focus and the interest which we currently

374
00:22:13.440 --> 00:22:17.079
do not possess. We don't really care about future self.

375
00:22:17.119 --> 00:22:20.720
We're so worried about protecting current self and keeping current

376
00:22:20.839 --> 00:22:27.240
self from having to deal with the discomfort or the stress,

377
00:22:27.400 --> 00:22:31.079
or the boringness or the overwhelm or whatever other thing

378
00:22:31.160 --> 00:22:35.759
is going on, that we just offload the task to

379
00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:39.400
our future self without too much concern for how he

380
00:22:39.599 --> 00:22:43.599
or she is going to handle this. So one strategy

381
00:22:43.759 --> 00:22:47.319
is actually to really make an effort to connect with

382
00:22:47.400 --> 00:22:50.759
that future self, like to bring the future self and

383
00:22:50.880 --> 00:22:54.279
your today's self kind of merge them together so you

384
00:22:55.119 --> 00:22:59.039
don't have this disconnect anymore. That you really think ahead

385
00:22:59.039 --> 00:23:01.759
to that future self and even think about how much

386
00:23:01.839 --> 00:23:05.079
that future self is going to thank you for doing

387
00:23:05.079 --> 00:23:07.559
the thing today. If you just did that one small

388
00:23:07.599 --> 00:23:10.680
thing today, how much easier would it be when you

389
00:23:10.720 --> 00:23:13.440
get to next Friday, or the end of next month,

390
00:23:13.559 --> 00:23:16.480
or whenever this thing needs to be done. What's it

391
00:23:16.559 --> 00:23:20.640
going to feel like in the future when you don't

392
00:23:20.680 --> 00:23:24.240
have that last minute stress and frustration and having to

393
00:23:24.240 --> 00:23:27.880
pull an all night or burn yourself out getting this

394
00:23:27.920 --> 00:23:31.759
thing done because you delayed for so long, really almost

395
00:23:31.799 --> 00:23:36.799
future pacing yourself into that future position, looking at how

396
00:23:36.799 --> 00:23:39.279
you want to feel, what you want that to be like,

397
00:23:39.440 --> 00:23:43.799
and then coming back to now and just having a

398
00:23:43.839 --> 00:23:47.359
think about what could you do today that would take

399
00:23:47.359 --> 00:23:49.599
the load off that future self a little bit. It

400
00:23:49.640 --> 00:23:52.720
can be a really effective strategy, can really help you

401
00:23:52.799 --> 00:23:56.279
to break things down and just take small steps thinking

402
00:23:56.359 --> 00:23:58.880
about how much you're going to appreciate that when you

403
00:23:58.920 --> 00:24:03.079
get to that point in the future. So that is

404
00:24:03.119 --> 00:24:06.839
one strategy. Another strategy that can be really effective is

405
00:24:07.400 --> 00:24:09.920
you've probably all heard of Mel Robbins. She's you know,

406
00:24:10.279 --> 00:24:13.839
talk show host, life coach, got quite a big profile,

407
00:24:13.839 --> 00:24:16.119
written a few books, did a Ted talk and she

408
00:24:16.200 --> 00:24:18.160
has this five second drule that she came up with,

409
00:24:18.200 --> 00:24:20.240
and she was probably quite depressed, to be honest, when

410
00:24:20.279 --> 00:24:22.559
she came up with this. So she was really avoiding

411
00:24:22.559 --> 00:24:25.000
a lot of things in her life. She says that

412
00:24:25.039 --> 00:24:26.799
she was drinking too much, she struggled to get out

413
00:24:26.799 --> 00:24:29.960
of bed, like her life was kind of really she

414
00:24:30.039 --> 00:24:32.400
was not in a good place at all. And so

415
00:24:32.440 --> 00:24:34.640
she was watching TV one night and she watched a

416
00:24:34.720 --> 00:24:37.960
rocket launching and she watched this five four three to

417
00:24:38.480 --> 00:24:42.359
one blast off thing happened and something clicked in her

418
00:24:42.400 --> 00:24:44.720
brain where she thought, that's what I need to do,

419
00:24:44.759 --> 00:24:47.480
just count down and go no time to think about it,

420
00:24:47.559 --> 00:24:51.279
and so she basically the next day decided to implement that.

421
00:24:51.440 --> 00:24:53.880
And so instead of just lying in bed thinking of

422
00:24:53.880 --> 00:24:56.559
all the reasons why she should stay in better she

423
00:24:56.599 --> 00:24:57.880
didn't want to get up, or how bad that there

424
00:24:57.960 --> 00:24:59.279
was going to be, or what would be the point

425
00:25:00.160 --> 00:25:03.920
five four three two one go. It changed her life,

426
00:25:03.960 --> 00:25:06.880
and she's obviously made quite a successful career out of

427
00:25:06.920 --> 00:25:09.599
that little strategy because now people all around the world

428
00:25:09.680 --> 00:25:12.480
use her five four three two one. So what she

429
00:25:12.920 --> 00:25:14.880
realizes now, which she didn't at the time, she just

430
00:25:14.920 --> 00:25:17.640
found an defective way for her to shortcut the negative

431
00:25:17.680 --> 00:25:20.880
self talk and all of the talking herself out of

432
00:25:21.440 --> 00:25:24.160
doing the thing that she needed to do. That's it

433
00:25:24.319 --> 00:25:28.359
just got her moving into action without overthinking anything. And

434
00:25:28.400 --> 00:25:31.000
what she realizes now is that there's lots of neuroscience

435
00:25:31.039 --> 00:25:34.920
as to why that actually works. So the counting backwards,

436
00:25:35.039 --> 00:25:38.200
it engages a different part of your brain. Obviously, it

437
00:25:38.240 --> 00:25:41.599
distracts you from the thoughts of not wanting to do it,

438
00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:43.400
coming up with the pros and cons and I could

439
00:25:43.400 --> 00:25:45.720
do it later, and you know all of that talk

440
00:25:45.839 --> 00:25:47.480
that goes on in our brain when we're trying to

441
00:25:47.480 --> 00:25:51.440
avoid something. So it bypasses all of that. It basically

442
00:25:51.920 --> 00:25:55.440
overrides that amygdala, that fierce sounded of your brain, that

443
00:25:55.599 --> 00:25:58.440
stress part of your brain, which is often the limbic

444
00:25:59.160 --> 00:26:02.039
involuntary part of your brain, which is connected to your

445
00:26:02.039 --> 00:26:05.920
nervous system, which often just keeps you frozen and stuck.

446
00:26:06.559 --> 00:26:10.079
You just shortcut that whole circuit and just get going.

447
00:26:10.119 --> 00:26:12.519
And then ideally, once you get going and you get

448
00:26:12.519 --> 00:26:15.759
some momentum and you get some movement, then oftentimes that

449
00:26:15.839 --> 00:26:20.640
can lead to progress, which then builds motivation, which builds interest,

450
00:26:20.720 --> 00:26:22.759
which gives you a bit of a dopamine hit that

451
00:26:22.799 --> 00:26:27.240
you're getting something done, and then you can continue building

452
00:26:27.279 --> 00:26:32.000
on that energy and that momentum. This is often really

453
00:26:32.119 --> 00:26:34.759
useful in terms of changing habits, you know. So when

454
00:26:34.759 --> 00:26:37.119
we want to change something in our lifestyle, and our

455
00:26:37.160 --> 00:26:41.119
brain is very fixed on and very focused on keeping

456
00:26:41.240 --> 00:26:45.599
us where we are. Our brain likes consistency, familiarity, It

457
00:26:45.839 --> 00:26:48.319
likes stuff to just stay. How it is any sort

458
00:26:48.319 --> 00:26:52.039
of change that you try to introduce to your brain. Again,

459
00:26:52.119 --> 00:26:53.960
it's not at the conscious level. It's not at the

460
00:26:53.960 --> 00:26:57.000
prefrontal cortex where you do all of your conscious thinking.

461
00:26:57.519 --> 00:27:00.359
It's that primitive part of your brain. It's worth all

462
00:27:00.400 --> 00:27:01.759
of the time to say no, no, no, we're not

463
00:27:01.799 --> 00:27:03.440
going to do that. We're just going to stay doing

464
00:27:03.480 --> 00:27:05.759
what we're doing right now because that feels safe and

465
00:27:05.759 --> 00:27:09.759
that feels comfortable. Anything different feels threatening. But tiny, tiny,

466
00:27:09.799 --> 00:27:13.680
little microactions can have the effect of kind of slipping

467
00:27:13.759 --> 00:27:16.920
underneath the radar of that fear part of your brain.

468
00:27:17.400 --> 00:27:21.319
So the smallest thing that you can think of that

469
00:27:21.359 --> 00:27:24.839
would just take you one little step closer to achieving

470
00:27:24.839 --> 00:27:27.880
that goal or getting a start on that project can

471
00:27:27.960 --> 00:27:31.759
be a really powerful way to just get a little

472
00:27:31.759 --> 00:27:34.400
bit of momentum going. Like I said, it gives you

473
00:27:34.440 --> 00:27:37.359
that little bit of a dopamine hit. It can help

474
00:27:37.400 --> 00:27:40.319
then to create some progress and some momentum. The one

475
00:27:40.359 --> 00:27:42.160
last point that I want to make on this is

476
00:27:42.200 --> 00:27:45.599
that we've talked a lot about procrastinating at the beginning

477
00:27:45.599 --> 00:27:49.480
of a project, making a start on something. Oftentimes, what

478
00:27:49.519 --> 00:27:52.119
can happen is that we get into the procrastination in

479
00:27:52.160 --> 00:27:54.960
the middle of the project, and that can be really

480
00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:58.279
confusing and frustrating. When we start off doing something, we've

481
00:27:58.319 --> 00:28:02.319
got a whole lot of momentum and energy and enthusiasm.

482
00:28:02.480 --> 00:28:06.440
We're kicking goals, getting it done, and then when we're

483
00:28:06.440 --> 00:28:08.720
in the middle of the project, suddenly we lose all

484
00:28:08.960 --> 00:28:12.440
interest and motivation and then suddenly we're just not getting

485
00:28:12.480 --> 00:28:15.160
it over the line. So a couple of things can

486
00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:18.079
be happening there, and really briefly because I've talked too

487
00:28:18.119 --> 00:28:19.799
long about this, In fact, we could probably do a

488
00:28:19.839 --> 00:28:24.519
whole other episode on this. It's really normal during the

489
00:28:24.880 --> 00:28:29.400
change process to go through periods of ambivalence in the

490
00:28:29.400 --> 00:28:32.880
process of working towards a goal. So even if you

491
00:28:33.000 --> 00:28:37.880
start out with interest and enthusiasm and are you developing

492
00:28:37.880 --> 00:28:40.559
some momentum, then often you can get to this sort

493
00:28:40.559 --> 00:28:45.240
of murky middle bit where enthusiasm of the beginning has passed,

494
00:28:45.279 --> 00:28:49.039
but you not really quite at the celebration of the ending,

495
00:28:49.640 --> 00:28:52.720
and you're in this zone in the middle where it

496
00:28:52.920 --> 00:28:55.960
just feels like, maybe what was the point of this?

497
00:28:56.079 --> 00:28:58.319
It all feels too hard. Should I have started this

498
00:28:58.319 --> 00:29:00.839
thing in the first place? And so it can be

499
00:29:00.880 --> 00:29:03.200
really helpful just to remember that that is often really normal,

500
00:29:03.519 --> 00:29:05.400
and in that situation, it can help to go back

501
00:29:05.440 --> 00:29:07.599
and remember why you did start this project in the

502
00:29:07.599 --> 00:29:12.240
first place, use all the same strategies for dealing with

503
00:29:12.279 --> 00:29:16.519
that procrastination connecting with your future self, thinking about how

504
00:29:16.519 --> 00:29:20.799
that's going to feel, taking those microactions, doing a little

505
00:29:20.799 --> 00:29:25.519
bit of work about uncovering what's potentially going on underneath

506
00:29:25.799 --> 00:29:29.119
that could be keeping you from making progress. Are there

507
00:29:29.160 --> 00:29:32.759
some fears there, some anxieties there, Calming down your nervous

508
00:29:32.759 --> 00:29:35.400
system a little bit, regulating your nervous system, just with

509
00:29:35.480 --> 00:29:38.519
mindfulness and breathing and all of those things, Doing some yoga,

510
00:29:38.559 --> 00:29:42.039
going for walks, getting outside, helping to regulate your nervous

511
00:29:42.039 --> 00:29:44.720
system so that if there is something activated there that

512
00:29:45.039 --> 00:29:49.240
is instigating that freeze response that we talked about, that

513
00:29:49.279 --> 00:29:51.880
you can work through that. But also, I think it

514
00:29:51.920 --> 00:29:55.839
really needs to be said that it's okay if you

515
00:29:55.920 --> 00:29:59.319
get halfway to a goal and you decide that that

516
00:29:59.400 --> 00:30:03.079
goal is not for you anymore. So I reckon, I'm

517
00:30:03.119 --> 00:30:05.200
going to do another whole episode on quitting. I think

518
00:30:05.240 --> 00:30:08.680
that is such an important topic. So many people stay

519
00:30:09.160 --> 00:30:13.519
committed and focused and persevering towards a goal even though

520
00:30:13.519 --> 00:30:16.480
that goal is no longer relevant, no longer meaningful, and

521
00:30:16.519 --> 00:30:21.720
they are just wasting their energy continuing to pursue something

522
00:30:21.960 --> 00:30:25.079
that they no longer have any interest in. And they

523
00:30:25.079 --> 00:30:28.279
would be so much better to put their attention into

524
00:30:28.319 --> 00:30:33.960
something else that might be more worthwhile. It's not really

525
00:30:34.559 --> 00:30:37.960
the thing that gets applauded is quitting. We really applaud

526
00:30:38.480 --> 00:30:40.680
the action and the momentum and the achievement and the

527
00:30:40.720 --> 00:30:45.519
progress and the persistence and determination and commitment like we

528
00:30:45.799 --> 00:30:51.079
value all of those things. And sometimes, honestly, it's okay

529
00:30:51.319 --> 00:30:54.799
to pull the pin on a project if you've decided

530
00:30:54.880 --> 00:30:58.079
that it is not worth the effort or the investment

531
00:30:58.119 --> 00:31:04.000
of your time, energy, resources, emotions any longer. So if

532
00:31:04.000 --> 00:31:07.079
you're procrastinating on something, I'm not saying everybody needs to

533
00:31:07.079 --> 00:31:09.039
go out and quit everything. Everybody needs to just stop

534
00:31:09.079 --> 00:31:12.400
taking action and stop pursuing goals. But if you're finding

535
00:31:12.400 --> 00:31:17.079
that you are really struggling to persist with something, and

536
00:31:17.119 --> 00:31:19.200
you're wondering, why am I procrastinating? Why can't I just

537
00:31:19.200 --> 00:31:21.519
get going with this? Then maybe it is worth And

538
00:31:21.559 --> 00:31:24.039
I asked this of my coaching clients. Are we still

539
00:31:24.079 --> 00:31:26.200
on board with this? Do we need to reconsider whether

540
00:31:26.240 --> 00:31:29.240
this is still the goal? Because it is totally fine

541
00:31:29.680 --> 00:31:32.359
for it not to be anymore, And we need to

542
00:31:32.359 --> 00:31:38.279
give ourselves permission to let go of the projects or

543
00:31:38.319 --> 00:31:41.960
the tasks, whatever it is or the goals that are

544
00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:45.079
no longer relevant or meaningful in our lives. And I

545
00:31:45.079 --> 00:31:48.240
guess last but not least, and anybody who's listened to

546
00:31:48.240 --> 00:31:50.279
this show for a while will know. Of course, the

547
00:31:50.319 --> 00:31:53.079
last thing I'm going to mention is self compassion, because

548
00:31:53.200 --> 00:31:56.079
it's always comes up in every topic that I talk about.

549
00:31:56.279 --> 00:31:58.640
So the more that you feel guilty for your procrastination,

550
00:31:58.720 --> 00:32:01.119
the more that you feel guilty for your lack of progress,

551
00:32:01.319 --> 00:32:03.799
then the more likely you are to continue not making progress.

552
00:32:04.000 --> 00:32:06.680
If there is anything that is negatively associated with goal

553
00:32:06.720 --> 00:32:09.880
progress and goal achievement, it is self criticism and shame

554
00:32:09.960 --> 00:32:14.640
and self judgment and guilt. We started this episode saying

555
00:32:14.680 --> 00:32:17.799
that procrastination is pretty much a universal thing. Everybody doesn't

556
00:32:17.799 --> 00:32:21.640
There can be different reasons why, but cutting yourself some slack,

557
00:32:22.119 --> 00:32:27.039
giving yourself the space to observe, to question, to get

558
00:32:27.119 --> 00:32:31.079
curious about what's underneath this, what's really going on, using

559
00:32:31.119 --> 00:32:33.160
the things that I've talked about today to help you

560
00:32:33.200 --> 00:32:35.960
to maybe gain some insight and some self awareness, and

561
00:32:36.000 --> 00:32:39.640
then coming at that with some value sort of strategies

562
00:32:39.640 --> 00:32:41.920
and ideas and tips and tools instead of just getting

563
00:32:41.960 --> 00:32:45.160
down on yourself with the self judgment. The self judgment

564
00:32:45.200 --> 00:32:50.039
will just keep you more stuck. Self kindness is key,

565
00:32:51.200 --> 00:32:58.279
curiosity over judgment and deeperfectionism. Procrastination loop is something that

566
00:32:58.359 --> 00:33:03.640
resonates with you. For this concept of the ADHD brain

567
00:33:03.759 --> 00:33:07.160
and procrastination. These are all things that I cover in

568
00:33:07.200 --> 00:33:11.920
my online coaching and training program, Beyond Confident. The doors

569
00:33:11.920 --> 00:33:14.000
are going to be opening again soon, so I would

570
00:33:14.039 --> 00:33:15.680
love you to get your name on the wait list

571
00:33:16.039 --> 00:33:19.000
to hear when that is opening for enrollment. You can

572
00:33:19.079 --> 00:33:22.279
also don't forget download and listen to my brand new

573
00:33:22.640 --> 00:33:26.000
Audible original. It is called The Imposter Solution. It is

574
00:33:26.039 --> 00:33:29.720
available right now on Audible Free for subscribers. You do

575
00:33:29.759 --> 00:33:31.839
not need to use a credit to download that, and

576
00:33:31.880 --> 00:33:35.359
if you are not currently an Audible subscriber, then just

577
00:33:35.440 --> 00:33:37.480
sign up for a thirty day free trial and you

578
00:33:37.519 --> 00:33:40.880
can listen for free. If you enjoy this episode, As always,

579
00:33:40.880 --> 00:33:43.480
please share with your friends, try to help us reach

580
00:33:43.480 --> 00:33:46.079
more listeners. Leave us a rating and review. It really

581
00:33:46.119 --> 00:33:48.440
does help and I can't wait to catch you next

582
00:33:48.480 --> 00:33:56.119
week on another episode of Crappy or Happy Listener